Where do you draw the line with flirting?

driaxx
driaxx Posts: 314 Member
edited December 20 in Chit-Chat
I guess this is basically an advice thread.

I've been with my boyfriend for 5 months and it's my first relationship. At the beginning, he would always flirt with this girl from work on Facebook, speaking to her every night before bed, telling her how cute, adorable and even attractive she was. He'd even tell me how adorable she was, 'more adorable than you' etc.

I obviously told him it hurt my feelings, but if he really liked this girl to just end things with me because it wasn't fair but he swore he didn't have feelings for her and promised to stop speaking to her & doesn't even talk about her (particularly because he thinks I don't like her - which isn't true, I don't know her!)

Anyway last night I saw him facebooking her again. I don't even know what was said but it hurts to know that he's that selfish that he doesn't CARE if he hurts my feelings to begin with.

On top of that, there's another girl who he tells me used to be interested in him that he always messages to come out on the weekend. I caught him telling this girls friend that he 'likes' her and when his friend told him to shut up because he was taken he said 'oh uh not in that way!' to cover himself up.

I don't know if I'm over reacting or if it's okay or not that he's acting this way towards other girls, particularly when he's hardly ever affectionate to me because he's 'been hurt before'. So HONESTLY MFP peeps, am I overreacting and being a paranoid, jealous, crazy girl - or should I be hurt? How would you handle this?

I promise I won't get upset if you call me crazy, we're girls - we're supposed to be, right? Lol!
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Replies

  • Erica002
    Erica002 Posts: 293 Member
    umm why are you with him?? sounds like a douche bag!
  • saxnviolin
    saxnviolin Posts: 129 Member
    I wouldn't stay with someone that was openly flirting with others. I think you deserve better. :smile:
  • KatKatatrophic
    KatKatatrophic Posts: 448 Member
    No, dump him! Obviously he's being a douche and either trying to make you jealous, or doesn't want to end the relationship.
  • BiscuitsNDavy
    BiscuitsNDavy Posts: 212 Member
    Red flags ALL OVER the place. Run, don't walk brosef.
  • AZKristi
    AZKristi Posts: 1,801 Member
    dump him?!
  • CinderHella
    CinderHella Posts: 3
    I agree. Definitely a *kitten*. Drop him. Your self-esteem will thank you.
  • Gyoza11
    Gyoza11 Posts: 143 Member
    Flirting a little for fun with people you don't know = Forgivable, just a little fun etc.
    Flirting with people you know personally and flirting every day = Not okay!

    I'd dump his *kitten* in a second. Joking around is fine but that's too much. You deserve better!
  • mfp_junkie
    mfp_junkie Posts: 359
    I've been married longer than you are old...but I am still alive! My rule of flirting online or offline is that I won't do anything I wouldn't feel comfortable telling my wife, or letting her read online herself. We know each others email passwords, and have nothing to hide.

    You are young. Find someone that is crazy about you and doesn't even think about flirting with someone else. I did. Been happy ever since.
  • driaxx
    driaxx Posts: 314 Member
    So I'm not just being crazy, paranoid?

    I thought that maybe he was just ignorant and doesn't realize that it's the wrong thing to do & doesn't mean to hurt me on purpose..
  • Ben2118
    Ben2118 Posts: 571 Member
    "A Boy makes his girl jealous of other women, a MAN makes other women jealous of his Girl!" :wink:

    Sounds like you need to ditch the boy and find a man!
  • george29223
    george29223 Posts: 556 Member
    either a ahole or gay
  • CharleneExtreme
    CharleneExtreme Posts: 372
    Dump him, but first start telling him how big other guys penis's are; say "even bigger than yours!"
    See how he likes it!!!

    Honestly, judging from your photo's you're beautiful and he should be bending over backwards to make you happy, fearing an actual MAN coming along treating you good - not flirting with other girls!! Also, the other girls are not at fault. He probably tells them he's available. (i once suffered someone like that).
  • deez2015
    deez2015 Posts: 54 Member
    umm why are you with him?? sounds like a douche bag!

    ditto! been there, done that...burned the tshirt! :wink:
  • gabbingfilly
    gabbingfilly Posts: 106 Member
    Red flags ALL OVER the place. Run, don't walk brosef.



    THIS! Run, don't hang around to see what happens. He apparently is going to keep flirting with someone and I wouldn't hang around to see when or how long it takes one of these girls to "take the bait". Then of course you will be on the sideline looking like a fool and that's no place you want to be. Trust me. I know this from experience from my first relationship. It sucks, but you can do so much better and deserve so.
  • CaseRat
    CaseRat Posts: 377 Member
    So I'm not just being crazy, paranoid?

    I thought that maybe he was just ignorant and doesn't realize that it's the wrong thing to do & doesn't mean to hurt me on purpose..

    Nope, you're being sane and normal. He's being a tosser.
  • ClaSSiE86
    ClaSSiE86 Posts: 72 Member
    If I were you I'd LOSE HIM!

    I just ended an almost 5 year relationship because I couldn't handle all my exes flirting with other women. It may not be physical cheating but its emotional cheating and it can be just as hurtful. Good luck to you
  • CinderHella
    CinderHella Posts: 3
    Exactly. Staying with him is only wasting precious time.
  • DarwinChick95
    DarwinChick95 Posts: 144 Member
    "A Boy makes his girl jealous of other women, a MAN makes other women jealous of his Girl!" :wink:

    Sounds like you need to ditch the boy and find a man!

    Love it, its so cute haha
  • driaxx
    driaxx Posts: 314 Member
    I've been married longer than you are old...but I am still alive! My rule of flirting online or offline is that I won't do anything I wouldn't feel comfortable telling my wife, or letting her read online herself. We know each others email passwords, and have nothing to hide.

    You are young. Find someone that is crazy about you and doesn't even think about flirting with someone else. I did. Been happy ever since.

    You give me hope that exists for me! Because I figure that's how relationships are supposed to be!

    See that's the thing, he let's me read it like he doesn't care and doesn't think that it's wrong! Is he that bloody stupid?! Lol!
  • GumballMachine
    GumballMachine Posts: 24
    The fact that he outright told you that this other chick is "more adorable than you" is a huge red flag, but then add that with the consistent everyday flirting and I'd say it's time to let this guy go before you're in too deep.
  • christine24t
    christine24t Posts: 6,063 Member
    I wouldn't stay with someone that was openly flirting with others. I think you deserve better. :smile:

    Yeah, this. You told him it hurt you yet he still does it.
  • driaxx
    driaxx Posts: 314 Member
    Dump him, but first start telling him how big other guys penis's are; say "even bigger than yours!"
    See how he likes it!!!

    Hahah! I love it!!!
  • SuperSneaky
    SuperSneaky Posts: 43
    My rule of thumb for "cheating" has really been anything I wouldn't want to do right in front of my spouse, including seemingly harmless flirting e-mails.

    This guy takes the douchenozzle cake. He does it right in front of you!
  • TriciaMcLink
    TriciaMcLink Posts: 13 Member
    You deserve to be with someone who thinks you are beautiful even when you in sweatpants, no makeup, and just rolled out of bed. Show him the door.
  • gpstrucker
    gpstrucker Posts: 930 Member
    He doesn't care. He's an immature boy. He's a jerk. Respect yourself enough to dump the guy, you (and every other woman) deserves better. He has a lot of growing up to do yet.
  • driaxx
    driaxx Posts: 314 Member
    "A Boy makes his girl jealous of other women, a MAN makes other women jealous of his Girl!" :wink:

    Sounds like you need to ditch the boy and find a man!

    Love it, its so cute haha

    I agree!

    You guys are the greatest, you remind me that its possible for a guy to have a heart!
  • billsica
    billsica Posts: 4,741 Member
    Guy sounds legit to me.


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  • Manrahan
    Manrahan Posts: 40
    You get to live an MFP dream right now, and drop more than a hundred pounds overnight. Don't put up with a-holes, ladies.
  • sarasmile144
    sarasmile144 Posts: 108 Member
    I agree with every one else.. SERIOUSLY He's a Douche Bag.. You don't ever let a man (or rather, boy) treat you like that, sweetie..
  • amanda6393
    amanda6393 Posts: 176 Member
    Dump him, but first start telling him how big other guys penis's are; say "even bigger than yours!"
    See how he likes it!!!

    ^^^ This :)
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