Where do you draw the line with flirting?
Replies
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Why do people make these threads?
Then you have all these people chiming in go...Dump him...
He doesn't get a chance to speak or say what is the truth or lie in the OP's Statements....
*sigh*0 -
Run, run fast and dump his *kitten*.
You're not being stupid or paranoid; he's being rude, inconsiderate, and doesn't deserve you or ANYBODY!0 -
Why do people make these threads?
Then you have all these people chiming in go...Dump him...
He doesn't get a chance to speak or say what is the truth or lie in the OP's Statements....
*sigh*
If she's telling the truth, the folks are right. And if it were to turn out instead that she's just pyscho-jealous, then the folks are doing *him* a favor without knowing it. Win/win eh?
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a little harmless flirting can be fun, makes you smile. but there is such a thing as crossing a line.
That being said you need to speak to him. Maybe he simply isn't ready to make the commitment your looking for which is okay he's allowed to not be ready. Doesn't necessarily make him a douche. People grow and mature at different rates. Maybe he's not at your level.
Either way speak to HIM...ultimately it will be up to the two of you to find a happy medium in which you can live with if not.. There are other fish in the sea.0 -
it hurts to know that he's that selfish that he doesn't CARE if he hurts my feelings to begin with.
I don't know if I'm over reacting or if it's okay or not that he's acting this way towards other girls, particularly when he's hardly ever affectionate to me because he's 'been hurt before'. So HONESTLY MFP peeps, am I overreacting and being a paranoid, jealous, crazy girl - or should I be hurt? How would you handle this?
I promise I won't get upset if you call me crazy, we're girls - we're supposed to be, right? Lol!
1. He doesn't care.
+
2. He uses the oh put up with me please because I've been hurt before line.
=
3. He's emotionally abusive to you.
Leave, girlfriend, leave via running and don't look back and you'll thank yourself later.
Best wishes to you.0 -
Why do people make these threads?
Then you have all these people chiming in go...Dump him...
He doesn't get a chance to speak or say what is the truth or lie in the OP's Statements....
*sigh*
If she's telling the truth, the folks are right. And if it were to turn out instead that she's just pyscho-jealous, then the folks are doing *him* a favor without knowing it. Win/win eh?
lol this is true! Win-win either way. But I mean that's the thing, maybe in someone else's context a bit of harmless flirting IS fine - that's why I want advice!0 -
Why do people make these threads?
Then you have all these people chiming in go...Dump him...
He doesn't get a chance to speak or say what is the truth or lie in the OP's Statements....
*sigh*
If she's telling the truth, the folks are right. And if it were to turn out instead that she's just pyscho-jealous, then the folks are doing *him* a favor without knowing it. Win/win eh?
Smart Man. (See if he's single, honey
) 0 -
Run0
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Ditch him. Soooo not worth it0
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That is unacceptable; please get out of the relationship. It made you uncomfortable (and for good reason!) and he didn't even care. I know since this is your first relationship maybe you think this kind of thing is normal, but you deserve so much better. Trust me on this one. My first relationship the guy treated me basically the same way, was always comparing me to his ex girlfriends, etc. and made me feel like crap half the time. But he was a great bf the other half of the time and I convinced myself that was just life and I should stay with him. After a year he broke up with me. I started dating other people and realized how terrible he was for me all along. Get out now!0
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"A Boy makes his girl jealous of other women, a MAN makes other women jealous of his Girl!"
Sounds like you need to ditch the boy and find a man!
^^ THIS ^^0 -
Why do people make these threads?
Then you have all these people chiming in go...Dump him...
He doesn't get a chance to speak or say what is the truth or lie in the OP's Statements....
*sigh*
If she's telling the truth, the folks are right. And if it were to turn out instead that she's just pyscho-jealous, then the folks are doing *him* a favor without knowing it. Win/win eh?
lol this is true! Win-win either way. But I mean that's the thing, maybe in someone else's context a bit of harmless flirting IS fine - that's why I want advice!
IF you tell him it bothers you and he ignores it then you def need to step away from the relationship to evaluate yourself and him.
But if is ignoring your thoughts and feelings and not trying to reassure you and care for your emotions then why waste your time trying to figure out if you want to put up with him?
HE's obviously not caring about you at all, making it a very unbalanced relationship.
Not to be a totally horrid and heartless person but I love the comment where someone said to tell him that other dude's penis' are better than his. Try that and maybe it will open his eyes to YOUR feelings. And if not then go find one better than his.0 -
umm why are you with him?? sounds like a douche bag!
This is what my friend told me when in a kind of similar situation last month.0 -
I would break up with that guy in a heartbeat. He sounds like an absolutely terrible person to have as a significant other, you should tell him to his face that you, and every other girl, deserves so much better than anything he has to offer.0
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"A Boy makes his girl jealous of other women, a MAN makes other women jealous of his Girl!"
Sounds like you need to ditch the boy and find a man!0 -
Agreed!0
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What he's doing is NOT fine.. Its downright disgusting. Its not harmless flirting. He compared her to you. He obviously aint in it for the long run..Why do people make these threads?
Then you have all these people chiming in go...Dump him...
He doesn't get a chance to speak or say what is the truth or lie in the OP's Statements....
*sigh*
If she's telling the truth, the folks are right. And if it were to turn out instead that she's just pyscho-jealous, then the folks are doing *him* a favor without knowing it. Win/win eh?
lol this is true! Win-win either way. But I mean that's the thing, maybe in someone else's context a bit of harmless flirting IS fine - that's why I want advice!0 -
I never understand why women say to men who treat them with disrespect "Just end things with me if you don't want to be with me"
END THINGS WITH HIM! He sounds like an A*shat.0 -
So I'm not just being crazy, paranoid?
I thought that maybe he was just ignorant and doesn't realize that it's the wrong thing to do & doesn't mean to hurt me on purpose..
He's mean and he DOES mean to hurt you. Don't cut him the slack. He has treated you like crap and lost the privilege of your company. period0 -
Most the time I think people overreact when it comes to their significant others talking to someone else, but in your case it sounds justifiable that you're bothered by the situation. If I read correctly from what you wrote he even tells you that "she's more adorable than you". That just seems blatantly disrespectful.0
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Everyone gave you great advice there and I know you've been with him for a long time.
But if he has no respect for you, then he's not worth it...
you don't need a guy like that.
A guy that is with someone, it's 100% not a half and half, Unless you're in an open relationship.
And if he is doing that openly I'd definitely discuss it with him, and tell him how much it's hurting you, and your relationship. but if he doesn't care then you really don't need a guy like that with no respect for you or your feelings.
def can do better.
good luck!0 -
Yes! Dump him..... You are worth so much more and you deserve someone who will care enough to not do that to you even after you spoke with him about it. 5 months isn't a very long time, so my advice would be to cut HIS losses.0
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I read this and thought to myself instantly, coming from a man I'll tell you this, I've been in a couple long term relationships, the girl i'm with now is almost 4 years and I've known her for almost 20 years. Flirting is not only not bad but its helpful, but flirting ends at verbal compliments in a face to face environment when not alone with the person you complimenting with. As in,.i'm hanging with a group of friends and a hottie is there. I'll mention she looks good, and maybe even make an off hand sexual joke (nothing directly saying we should ****). But that's it, doing it on Facebook or when alone with the person, much worst everyday is much more than flirting. I flirt (compliment what my eyes like) my girl flirts (complimenting who she thinks is hot, once in front of me but she didn't notice lol) but that's where it stops, otherwise its the smallest level if cheating but still cheating.0
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I guess this is basically an advice thread.
I've been with my boyfriend for 5 months and it's my first relationship. At the beginning, he would always flirt with this girl from work on Facebook, speaking to her every night before bed, telling her how cute, adorable and even attractive she was. He'd even tell me how adorable she was, 'more adorable than you' etc.
I obviously told him it hurt my feelings, but if he really liked this girl to just end things with me because it wasn't fair but he swore he didn't have feelings for her and promised to stop speaking to her & doesn't even talk about her (particularly because he thinks I don't like her - which isn't true, I don't know her!)
Anyway last night I saw him facebooking her again. I don't even know what was said but it hurts to know that he's that selfish that he doesn't CARE if he hurts my feelings to begin with.
On top of that, there's another girl who he tells me used to be interested in him that he always messages to come out on the weekend. I caught him telling this girls friend that he 'likes' her and when his friend told him to shut up because he was taken he said 'oh uh not in that way!' to cover himself up.
I don't know if I'm over reacting or if it's okay or not that he's acting this way towards other girls, particularly when he's hardly ever affectionate to me because he's 'been hurt before'. So HONESTLY MFP peeps, am I overreacting and being a paranoid, jealous, crazy girl - or should I be hurt? How would you handle this?
I promise I won't get upset if you call me crazy, we're girls - we're supposed to be, right? Lol!
Not to be an *kitten* but are you serious? this can't be real. Soooo him telling you another girl is more adorable than you, asking another woman out on the weekends, talking to another girl before bed every night instead of you and when you guys are hanging out he's on facebook with her! oh yeah let's not forget he's taken but not in that way. Come onnnnnn did you really need advice on this? You got some major disrespect going on over there0 -
"A Boy makes his girl jealous of other women, a MAN makes other women jealous of his Girl!"
Sounds like you need to ditch the boy and find a man!
THIS!!!!0 -
That's not flirting, that's cheating. And you probably already know that since you're asking the question. It's your relationship so if that works for you and what you think you deserve, random advice isn't really going to help. :ohwell:
But to answer the unasked question, yes it's weird that you're accepting that type of behavior and basically waiting around while he's searching for something different.0 -
Why do people make these threads?
Then you have all these people chiming in go...Dump him...
He doesn't get a chance to speak or say what is the truth or lie in the OP's Statements....
*sigh*
Actually, on this note I feel I should mention that I'm in the wrong for checking his fb chat to begin with. I feel bad knowing he deserves his own privacy! But after I read it the first time, it became easier and easier because I felt more justified to do so. (felt being the key word)0 -
Uhh yeah, he's not affectionate to u because he's giving his affection to other woman! Dump his *kitten*, he's obviously unfaithful to u. Imagine what he's like when ur not around, and he's with the girl alone.... ummmm yeah, That's sad ur so blinded, like they say, Love is blind. U gotta look at it for what it really is. I wouldn't ever put up with that, whatsoever! My hubby doesn't even check out other women, let alone talk to them! I feel so sorry for u ): Ditch him, I doubt he'll change. He's got himself in a pretty deep hole, even if he wants to get out, he will probably struggle the rest of his life with lust, and bad!
Like someone said earlier.... Idk how u didn't dump him right on the spot when he's telling u what he thinks about other woman! He's not even telling u everything, for him to even saying what he is saying.. he's got issues, I woulda smashed his head right in Lol! Not Kidding, what a Douche0 -
You know what happened when some chick through his work hit on my husband via email?
He came home screaming "WHAT DO I DO? WHAT DO I DO?!!!!!"
And the only time he tells me some girl is "so adorable" is when he's talking about our neice.
Find someone who is honest and wants to be with YOU0 -
Your husband is adorable!! He sounds so innocent. People like the OP's boyfriend give the good guys a bad name!You know what happened when some chick through his work hit on my husband via email?
He came home screaming "WHAT DO I DO? WHAT DO I DO?!!!!!"
And the only time he tells me some girl is "so adorable" is when he's talking about our neice.
Find someone who is honest and wants to be with YOU0
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