Compliments and (Double) Standards
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My husband thinks Angelina Jolie is hot, he also thinks Queen Latifa is hot. He thought I was sexy at my highest and he thinks Im sexy now. I do know he prefers me a bit lighter than my heaviest, but he would never want me to be thin. I however, want to be healthy, so whatever weight that brings me down to, he will have to manage :smooched:0
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very true my friend, you make a valid point!!0
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I agree with whoever said that if all they want is the physical that's all they would get. And I'm married so they wouldn't even get that, mwhah.0
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i can see both sides of this.
on the one hand: all you see at FIRST is the outside. so getting hit on is only going to happen when someone hits the right buttons for your "type" whatever that may be.
OTOH: if i KNOW someone, if they've been in my life while i'm heavy and know the me behind the weight, and they suddenly think i'm worth persuing ONLY when i've lost weight... that's not someone i want to be with.
so for initial reactory attraction, absolutely. but for the long-term, in this forever deal, no.
^^^^^this0 -
Rather than Rant on what you believe NOW, in the present, and think you will know how you will act in the future, take your perceptions and realizations to what they really are. ALWAYS CHANGING.
What you find attractive now is not the same as it was 10 years ago. There are too many impacts on how you perceive people that range from the emotional to logical, impacted by self experiences, social input, and the media.
Get past what other people think and improve upon your own beliefs and realize what your true perceptions are. It matters not what others think. It matters not what the media tells you.
All that does matter is what YOU believe, NOW. And know, it will change before you know it.0 -
Lady Homebrewer - 3yrs
MFP Smarty-pants and sometimes food logger
Also, boobs.
I love everything about this sig.0 -
That's like they are having their cake and eating it too. They wont hook up with you because you are overweight, so you lose weight, and they get to bang you, and then never have to worry about you being overweight, and unattractive to them ever again. You really got them!
Because I know that hooking up with me, treat though it may be, is not the best thing I have to offer a woman. That's only icing on the cake that is me. If a woman were to think she got the best part of me because we shared one night together she really would have no clue as to what she was missing out on.
It's called confidence people! Believing in yourself and that you're worth something, no matter what weight you're at. And confidence will get a girl every single time.0 -
I'm willing to argue the "con" side of this one, for funsies.
There is more to me than my weight. My physical appearance is one small aspect of who I am. If that is all you see when you look at me I have no interest in you.
So if someone's main concern with dating me was the way I looked, I'm not really interested. I have much more to offer than looks.
And this is how a guy who spent most of his life overweight never had a problem meeting women.
^This and thank you to the guy who wrote it. My partner should think I'm beautiful at my heaviest and thinnest. I know that I will be attracted to them either way. Since I am hard enough on myself, I sure as hell am not going to be with someone who is going to think less of me or be unattracted to me if I put on a few pounds.0 -
*raises hand* yes guilty...0
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"Treat though it may be". That's awesome.Because I know that hooking up with me, treat though it may be0 -
"Treat though it may be". That's awesome.Because I know that hooking up with me, treat though it may be
Said totally tongue in cheek, I hope everyone got that. Remember confidence! Not arrogance.0 -
I'm willing to argue the "con" side of this one, for funsies.
There is more to me than my weight. My physical appearance is one small aspect of who I am. If that is all you see when you look at me I have no interest in you.
So if someone's main concern with dating me was the way I looked, I'm not really interested. I have much more to offer than looks.
And this is how a guy who spent most of his life overweight never had a problem meeting women.
Right, but people are attracted to what they see, initially. So if they see something they're not attracted to, they'll keep on walking. As opposed to now, they'd look and stop and talk - if you're what they're attracted to.
YOU may be attracted to what you see initially. I don't think it's fair to say that about all people. I have been attracted to people after a period of time and getting to know them, though at first appearance I was not. Sometimes we see people differently after discoving who they are inside.
Very well said...I was not attracted to my husband at first, but his personality made me grow to love him and find him attractive. And it's not like he's ugly...plenty of other women have told me they find huim attractive, too. He just didn't fit my "type".0 -
I got that! You=confidence. OP=arrogance. You, my friend, are hotter to me! :flowerforyou:Said totally tongue in cheek, I hope everyone got that. Remember confidence! Not arrogance.0 -
I agree. It is good to have standards.0
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sounds like common sense to me
Which is why it's so strange to people. Common sense is lacking.0 -
It's not just the body that changes as people lose weight.
Lots of people start out insecure, shy, not wanting to call attention to themselves. As they lose weight, they gain confidence, look people in the eye, even maybe say hi first. They dress to flatter their bodies instead of just hiding under whatever they can get into. They accept a compliment instead of deflect and dismiss it with self deprecating humor.
Maybe these people with standards simply didn't notice them much, or didn't get much of a chance to get to know them before.0 -
...... Thankfully I have a man who loves me at my highest, my now, and will love me at my fittest :smooched:
^^^ This. When I finally get there.0 -
"Treat though it may be". That's awesome.Because I know that hooking up with me, treat though it may be
Said totally tongue in cheek, I hope everyone got that. Remember confidence! Not arrogance.
Can I please shake your hand? Seriously, so few men understand the difference between the two! :flowerforyou:0 -
I'm willing to argue the "con" side of this one, for funsies.
There is more to me than my weight. My physical appearance is one small aspect of who I am. If that is all you see when you look at me I have no interest in you.
So if someone's main concern with dating me was the way I looked, I'm not really interested. I have much more to offer than looks.
And this is how a guy who spent most of his life overweight never had a problem meeting women.
Right, but people are attracted to what they see, initially. So if they see something they're not attracted to, they'll keep on walking. As opposed to now, they'd look and stop and talk - if you're what they're attracted to.
YOU may be attracted to what you see initially. I don't think it's fair to say that about all people. I have been attracted to people after a period of time and getting to know them, though at first appearance I was not. Sometimes we see people differently after discoving who they are inside.
Very well said...I was not attracted to my husband at first, but his personality made me grow to love him and find him attractive. And it's not like he's ugly...plenty of other women have told me they find huim attractive, too. He just didn't fit my "type".
Me too! sort of ::laughs:: I was very attracted to my husband when i first met him but he was not my "type" so I never figured it would last longer than a weekend ... 15 years later we are still together and happy. The funny thing is both of us gained and lost weight (at different times and for different reasons) during the marriage so thank god we were attracted to each other during all stages of our fitness - even if maybe we both would prefer fit to fat in general. Luckily our love is based in a lot more than looks or we'd be in trouble.0 -
That's like they are having their cake and eating it too. They wont hook up with you because you are overweight, so you lose weight, and they get to bang you, and then never have to worry about you being overweight, and unattractive to them ever again. You really got them!
Because I know that hooking up with me, treat though it may be, is not the best thing I have to offer a woman. That's only icing on the cake that is me. If a woman were to think she got the best part of me because we shared one night together she really would have no clue as to what she was missing out on.
It's called confidence people! Believing in yourself and that you're worth something, no matter what weight you're at. And confidence will get a girl every single time.
WTG Brett ^^ throw some logic in the mix.......
For my opinion it would be simple. You eat with your eyes first, don't you?
If it looks nasty you don't put it in your mouth!0 -
People get more/less attractive to me over the course of interaction. I can't really trust my initial estimation of an individual's attractiveness knowing this about myself. Therefore, I don't decide if I'm attracted until I have more information than just physical.
I thought my (now) husband was nice-looking when I met him, and his body fat was in the single digits. However, he didn't even get my real name until we'd talked for over an hour.
Not everyone working toward a fitness goal is necessarily doing it to make themselves more attractive to the world.0 -
That's like they are having their cake and eating it too. They wont hook up with you because you are overweight, so you lose weight, and they get to bang you, and then never have to worry about you being overweight, and unattractive to them ever again. You really got them!
Because I know that hooking up with me, treat though it may be, is not the best thing I have to offer a woman. That's only icing on the cake that is me. If a woman were to think she got the best part of me because we shared one night together she really would have no clue as to what she was missing out on.
It's called confidence people! Believing in yourself and that you're worth something, no matter what weight you're at. And confidence will get a girl every single time.
WTG Brett ^^ throw some logic in the mix.......
For my opinion it would be simple. You eat with your eyes first, don't you?
If it looks nasty you don't put it in your mouth!
Explain kimchee.0 -
That's like they are having their cake and eating it too. They wont hook up with you because you are overweight, so you lose weight, and they get to bang you, and then never have to worry about you being overweight, and unattractive to them ever again. You really got them!
Because I know that hooking up with me, treat though it may be, is not the best thing I have to offer a woman. That's only icing on the cake that is me. If a woman were to think she got the best part of me because we shared one night together she really would have no clue as to what she was missing out on.
It's called confidence people! Believing in yourself and that you're worth something, no matter what weight you're at. And confidence will get a girl every single time.
WTG Brett ^^ throw some logic in the mix.......
For my opinion it would be simple. You eat with your eyes first, don't you?
If it looks nasty you don't put it in your mouth!
Explain kimchee.
I like kimchee.
As for the statement it relates to people only approaching what visually appeals to them.0 -
I eat foods that "look nasty" all the time. Interesting that you compared "nasty looking food" to overweight people, though.For my opinion it would be simple. You eat with your eyes first, don't you?
If it looks nasty you don't put it in your mouth!0 -
That's like they are having their cake and eating it too. They wont hook up with you because you are overweight, so you lose weight, and they get to bang you, and then never have to worry about you being overweight, and unattractive to them ever again. You really got them!
Because I know that hooking up with me, treat though it may be, is not the best thing I have to offer a woman. That's only icing on the cake that is me. If a woman were to think she got the best part of me because we shared one night together she really would have no clue as to what she was missing out on.
It's called confidence people! Believing in yourself and that you're worth something, no matter what weight you're at. And confidence will get a girl every single time.
You realize that doesn't make one bit of difference if they don't really care about you, don't you? You aren't hurting them because they are getting away with what they believe is the best of you. If they don't care to stuck around to find out the rest then they don't get hurt. Also if they knew you before, and they slept with you and then took off then they didn't like you anyway, and still won.0 -
I totally get the accept me and my fat cause I am who I am and right now I'm obese.
But also I don't like obese guys... I suppose it seems like a double standard but my size has something totally different to do with than just eating--I have several complications to my metabolic system
But if you have two people, one healthy and one not I'm going to choose the healthy person because they're most likely going to be alive longer, be able to teach me a thing or two and will make me want to do the best for my body.
If I'm with Mr. Fast Food who takes me out to eat french fries and big macs all day then that's not good for me.
IDK I'm single and I wouldn't date a fatty.
And being a chick--I can get away with bein fat in the sex department... but a fat dude has way more hinderances in the bedroom... I'm just sayin cause I've been with a very overweight dude when I Was skinny and I'm not gonna say it wasn't good but I know it could have been better.
IF I totally fell in love with a fatty, I'd def have to implement some health codes.
Hate me but that's how I am. And its a survival mode thing--survival of the fittest. Sorry.
********Same thing goes with a skinny dude, though, too--I don't want his hips breaking mine!!!!!!0 -
I eat foods that "look nasty" all the time. Interesting that you compared "nasty looking food" to overweight people, though.For my opinion it would be simple. You eat with your eyes first, don't you?
If it looks nasty you don't put it in your mouth!
Wow!!! that was not where I was going with it.
I have been judged on my weight, my tattoos. Just the way I look period!!
That is how people are.....visual WRONG as it may be!!!!!0 -
I was at my heavist when my bf and I started dating which I haven't gotten close to since. That being said he deserves me at my fittest.0
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i can see both sides of this.
on the one hand: all you see at FIRST is the outside. so getting hit on is only going to happen when someone hits the right buttons for your "type" whatever that may be.
OTOH: if i KNOW someone, if they've been in my life while i'm heavy and know the me behind the weight, and they suddenly think i'm worth persuing ONLY when i've lost weight... that's not someone i want to be with.
so for initial reactory attraction, absolutely. but for the long-term, in this forever deal, no.
^^^ this x10000. If it's a random stranger, I wouldn't care. Initially, we all decide whether we are attracted to someone based on their looks. It's normal, and it's human.
However, if it was a long time friend expressing interest, or someone that knew me well...then no. They know who I am as a person enough and if they are only attracted to me when I am thin, then NO that is not a compliment for me. I have been attracted to overweight men before because I loved their personalities, so it is more than possible to be attracted to someone despite any extra weight they have. Oddly enough I've never experienced this on my end, I've lost 45 lbs and I get the same amount of attention as ever.
Whatever, I am more than my looks.0 -
can we not call people "fatty" and etc please? Thanks.0
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