Need Dating Advice

Wellllll. First off, don't eliminate guys that are 11 years older or 11 years younger. Look for someone who is kind and has a job, and doesn't live with his mom, and has a car, and.......oh, wait. That's my list.

It's not easy. You'll find someone - or maybe you won't, but just keep yourself busy doing things you love, and at least you'll be enjoying your life.

I'm going to be 34 in a month - and i have yet to date anyone for longer than 4 months. Granted i used to be super shy - an didn't start dating until i was 23. I end up attracting the wrong guys - really old guys 45+ or really young guys (18-23). My personal trainer made a move on me (after he was my trainer)..which was surprising - since he really takes care of his body...and I try to but wine + potato chips are my downfall (and i still have a ways to go to get to where i want to be). I'm getting frustrated. I'm social - always planning events/parties. I play on sports teams at leat 3 x a week. I'm not sure what I can /should change. Any advice would be appreciated.

Thanks

The fact that you were surprised your trainer hit on you tells me you lack self confidence so maybe work on that?

... the wrong guys - really old guys 45+ or really young guys (18-23)...

Seriously, don't discount old/young guys. Sure, there are stereotypes that go along with May/December romances but they can be very good relationships. They're not always the "wrong" guy simply because they're older or younger. My DH is 20 years older than I. I can't even begin to describe what an amazing relationship/marriage we have. I have never dated someone that much older than me before and I certainly didn't mean for it to happen either - I didn't go looking for older guys. We met one day and things just kind of took their own course and here we are. I've taken a lot of gruff from people over the years and listened to way more rude remarks than I can count (the most common one, "so did you marry him for his money or does he have a huge ____?" Yeah, real original) but, I just ignore them because my family loves him, my in-laws love me, and I get to sit back and laugh when those same people with their stereotyping get to sit around and complain about how their husband doesn't do this or that or they're going through a divorce or they see my husband opening car doors, pulling out chairs, etc for me and then they're like OMG, you have the best husband ever - he treats you like a queen. Yep, he sure does! And that's one reason I married him. The fact that we have so much in common and immediately became good friends in addition to dating is another bonus.

My sister is at the opposite end of the spectrum; her DH is 10 years younger than she. She went through a bad time with boyfriends, abusive relationships, etc. When he came along, she was thinking he's too young but, like me and my DH, they had a lot in common and quickly became friends and things just rolled from there.

So, don't put labels on things or think you have to have a guy a certain age, a certain height, a certain body type, hair color or whatever (my cousin actually has height/weight/hair/eye/income requirements for a BF and she wonders why she's nearly 30 and not married, lol). Just open yourself up and you'll probably find that the least likely person you'd ever think about dating will end up being the one that sticks.