Is it wrong that I have noticed more female attention ?

super_monty
super_monty Posts: 419 Member
in Motivation and Support
I am married and very loyal. Since the weight loss I have noticed more female attention and I like it is it wrong to use it as motivation.
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Replies

  • steamlita
    steamlita Posts: 39 Member
    It's interesting that you're more motivated... how does your wife feel about your body's changes? Is she giving you more attention too?
  • onikonor
    onikonor Posts: 473 Member
    You can like it and feel flattered just don't get carried away ....lol
  • victoria4321
    victoria4321 Posts: 1,719 Member
    It's fine just don't take the bait if they hit on you. Also a simple thank you, but I'm married works well.

    You could even playfully flirt back as long as its clear its more joking. Like my dad could say stuff to women who hit on him like "thank you...35 years ago I'd make you my wife!" then everyone gets a laugh lol. I don't see anything wrong with stuff like that.

    He's also said another one like "Thank you, but my wife said I'm not allowed to have another girlfriend" LOL
  • goblynn
    goblynn Posts: 148 Member
    Its natural to feel excite that someone might be giving you attention just don't lose sight of what is important to you. I would take their attention as a complement to your success, smile at them and then go hug your wife for supporting you through this adventure.
  • fraser112
    fraser112 Posts: 405
    Yes this is a big problem

    Go back to feeling terrible about yourself before its to late
  • super_monty
    super_monty Posts: 419 Member
    The lads will just give back hand comments(especially friends), girls seem to be more genuine.

    I wouldn't get carried away, I have never cheated on any g/f and never intend to, I love her to bits been with her for a long time.

    But I was also very shy when younger and lacked confidence so the girls would normally make a b-line for my friends so I find it quite interesting. One told me I had nice legs that has never happened before!!!!!!

    My wife doesn't really comment, or has given me any other 'attention', once I think she said something.
  • myofibril
    myofibril Posts: 4,500 Member
    is it wrong to use it as motivation.

    no
  • victoria4321
    victoria4321 Posts: 1,719 Member
    My wife doesn't really comment, or has given me any other 'attention', once I think she said something.
    This might be a problem, if anything.
  • BeeElMarvin
    BeeElMarvin Posts: 2,086 Member
    It is wrong. Really wrong. You must be disgusted by yourself for the remainder of your days! Kidding. No, nothing wrong with it, enjoy it - use it - don't act on it. Simple, right?
  • myfitnessnmhoy
    myfitnessnmhoy Posts: 2,105 Member
    I am married and very loyal. Since the weight loss I have noticed more female attention and I like it is it wrong to use it as motivation.

    As long as the first (married and very loyal) remains true, the second is irrelevant. Obviously, you shouldn't do anything that upsets your wife, but it's OK to enjoy the attention.
  • Wonderob
    Wonderob Posts: 1,372 Member
    Previously being attractive to women was a big motivation to get down the gym and lay off the cream cakes

    Nowdays as a very happily married man I find my motivation is to be healthy, live longer, and be fit enough to enjoy life with my wife. Of course I also want to look good for her too.

    That said, I would like to think that women would think I look good, however when I'm getting changed before football I'd like to think that guys would think I looked pretty good too. It doesn't mean that I want women to find me sexually attractive just as I certainly don't want the guys to find me sexually attractive

    I guess what I'm saying is that we all like to be admired by others, doesn't mean that we want to run off with them
  • super_monty
    super_monty Posts: 419 Member
    I have never felt this good or as fit and it's improving, hopefully she may notice me more if when she sees I am getting attention from elsewhere.

    Damn right I will use it as motivation.

    Comical but one girl asked what I used for such good skin I said 'always a sharp razor!!!!!!!!!'
  • victoria4321
    victoria4321 Posts: 1,719 Member
    I have never felt this good or as fit and it's improving, hopefully she may notice me more if when she sees I am getting attention from elsewhere.

    Damn right I will use it as motivation.

    Comical but one girl asked what I used for such good skin I said 'always a sharp razor!!!!!!!!!'

    You should tell her that you like compliments. Maybe she's thinking it and not sharing it with you. It's probably stepping into a bit of of a danger zone to be hoping that she'll see you getting more attention and possibly get jealous.
  • super_monty
    super_monty Posts: 419 Member
    I hope she does get a bit jelous!
  • victoria4321
    victoria4321 Posts: 1,719 Member
    I hope she does get a bit jelous!

    Well, then you're a jerk. Maybe she won't get jealous, maybe she'll just find another guy that girls aren't all over lol!
  • samra2012
    samra2012 Posts: 715
    Yes this is a big problem

    Go back to feeling terrible about yourself before its to late
    "These" Im going back to be like I was just to make my husband happy.... right! :noway: :noway: :noway:
    shes jelous!
  • takingnameskickingbutt
    takingnameskickingbutt Posts: 231 Member
    As my mother says, "It doesn't matter where you get your appetite, just as long as you come home for dinner".
  • suavequeen
    suavequeen Posts: 273 Member
    I don't think its bad to use it as motivation... keep it decent and fun and you will be ok.. Try struting your stuff like a peacock for your wife and see if thats gets her attention! :laugh:
  • umachanxo
    umachanxo Posts: 926 Member
    I'm also noticing this. I'm happily married and have noticed that I get more attention from men. Though, my co worker says that's just because I'm a newly wed haha.

    But, as long as you're not crossing any lines or boundaries, I don't see a problem in letting it boost your self esteem.

    My husband also pays more attention since my weight loss. He would never admit it, but I definitely notice a difference.
  • TammyC
    TammyC Posts: 2
    My husband and I both have lost a lot of weight. He has become a jerk - hitting on every woman he sees. Our marriage of 31 years is almost ruined. So be careful.
  • chrisb75
    chrisb75 Posts: 395 Member
    I hope she does get a bit jelous!

    Sounds like there might be more issues here than just enjoying the female attention. I was in your shoes, sounds like you need to re-evaluate your marriage. Talk to her first. Tell her how you feel and see how that makes you feel. You might be surprised what you say and how it makes you feel. Welcome to shoot me a message and I can go into more details.
  • weighlossforbaby
    weighlossforbaby Posts: 847 Member
    You probably like the attention of females cause your wife doesn't give you compliments but maybe she doesn't know what to say. Do you compliment her? It goes both ways.
  • carrieliz81
    carrieliz81 Posts: 489 Member
    As my mother says, "It doesn't matter where you get your appetite, just as long as you come home for dinner".

    LOVE THIS!!
  • xMonroeMisfit
    xMonroeMisfit Posts: 411 Member
    The lads will just give back hand comments(especially friends), girls seem to be more genuine.

    I wouldn't get carried away, I have never cheated on any g/f and never intend to, I love her to bits been with her for a long time.

    But I was also very shy when younger and lacked confidence so the girls would normally make a b-line for my friends so I find it quite interesting. One told me I had nice legs that has never happened before!!!!!!

    My wife doesn't really comment, or has given me any other 'attention', once I think she said something.

    sounds like wifey might be envious of your progress.
  • NU2U
    NU2U Posts: 659 Member
    I hope she does get a bit jelous!

    Why would you hope that she gets jealous? You're an asshat!!

    You just said you love her to bits......but now you're saying you want her to get jealous!?:noway:

    I was about to say..before reading this comment..

    Attention from the opposite sex is fine..and flattering..just don't let it go to your head...

    Too late..you already have.
  • myfitnessnmhoy
    myfitnessnmhoy Posts: 2,105 Member
    I hope she does get a bit jelous!

    Well, then you're a jerk. Maybe she won't get jealous, maybe she'll just find another guy that girls aren't all over lol!

    There are a lot of us happily married folks who had high hopes of their partners expressing more interest in them, only to have the weight loss go all but unnoticed. Maybe having a few other women noticing him will get his wife to give him a fresh look and realize that he's a hottie now.

    There's a HUGE chasm between "a little bit jealous" (as in, paying more attention) and "jealous".
  • MermaidFaith
    MermaidFaith Posts: 495 Member
    I hope she does get a bit jelous!

    Well, then you're a jerk. Maybe she won't get jealous, maybe she'll just find another guy that girls aren't all over lol!

    i thought this was a valid question at first but then you start saying stuff like maybe she will notice you if other women are hitting on you, you hope she is jealous. I agree that you are a jerk and maybe thats why your wife doesn't give a crap what you look like

    of course it feels good to have people being more aware of you.
  • MouseFood
    MouseFood Posts: 169 Member
    No, I think it's normal, and healthy ... ANd I think girls notice more because girls are usually more conscious about their own weight, so they notice when anyone is losing weight, male or female. Some of it may be flirting, and some of it may just be genuine "good job" compliments. :)

    I would talk to your wife about your whole journey, tho, and let her know how important it is for you to have her support. She may not be aware of how powerful little comments can be.
  • MermaidFaith
    MermaidFaith Posts: 495 Member
    I hope she does get a bit jelous!

    Why would you hope that she gets jealous? You're an asshat!!

    You just said you love her to bits......but now you're saying you want her to get jealous!?:noway:

    I was about to say..before reading this comment..

    Attention from the opposite sex is fine..and flattering..just don't let it go to your head...

    Too late..you already have.
    iagree nu2u
  • MouseFood
    MouseFood Posts: 169 Member
    Actually I understand what he means. If your spouse gets jealous it means they are laying claim to you ... You belong them, and it's a reminder that although it's ok for people to notice, it's not okay for them to grab. :) It can be a reminder to both people that you belong together and you're happy about that.

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