Compliments

Here's the thing, I'm seeing a lot of it lately, those of us who are quite literally working our *kitten* off can't take compliments. I include myself in this. And ppl as a species (with a few notable exceptions) cannot verbalize what we mean very well.

I know that we spend so long not happy w/ how we look, that we build up a thick skin to every comment or look that we just THINK is judgemental. we're so busy judging ourselves for so long, that we simply ASSUME that everyone else is too. we spend so long there that when we come out of it, I think we're still stuck in the "what's THAT supposed to mean??" anger.

how do we move through this? how do we get to a place of accepting compliments and words of encouragement from strangers? I think that's a HUGE part of this. that's the mental half of it. the physical is hard work. but so is the mental.

so here's what i've tried to do - and maybe it won't work for you, but it works for me - I ask myself how I would take the comment if it was said by my mom. or my best friend. whoever it is in your life who tells you the ABSOLUTE truth even when it sucks. put those words in their mouth in your head and hear it again.

I think that ppl as a whole are happy to see someone succeed... well, most ppl. some ppl just suck. but for the MOST part, ppl are trying to be encouraging. even when the words they choose are... not the best.

try to hear the intent. try to hear the positive. b/c that's the place we're all heading, right?

Every once in a while, I dabble in a little vanity, playing silly games and such on here about who's hot or fit or has a cute face, etc. Sometimes I'll put up a provocative-ish picture. Unfailingly, those are the days some woman jumps up in here and damns us all for making fat people feel bad about themselves when we are supposed to be lifting them up.

So I get a compliment.
I feel kinda good.
I play a bit.
I get yelled at.
I end up apologising for not thinking badly of myself for those five minutes.
Since not everyone feels good about themselves yet... how dare i?

More than anything I wish this would just stop. It's beyond belief to me that a fitness website, which is so great at encouragement and support, could be so awful to people who have actually succeeded. The next jealous, small, petty person I see trying to tear someone down for accomplishing their goals is going to catch hell from me. I'm sick of it.

I do agree but it just occured to me that if someone is proud of me for losing weight , were they ashamed when I was heavier?

if you're proud of Michael Phelps for winning a gold - were you ashamed when he walked up to the pool?

I agree but it's hard to accept compliments when you have been so hard on yourself for so long & may not yet be where you want to get to. It is something we need to learn how to do while also learning what not to stick in our mouths......