Nobody noticed ...

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13

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  • LindaCWy
    LindaCWy Posts: 463 Member
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    So today was a special day at my old High-school (I graduated last year) so I set up a meeting there with some old friends and some teachers. I thought someone, at least my friends would notice that I lost weight. I mean I haven't seen any of them or the teachers since last year. I was 275 lbs then !!! Now I'm just under 220 lbs :cry: and not even a: "You changed." :cry:

    Trust me, it's better this way
  • kayemme
    kayemme Posts: 1,782 Member
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    maybe they didn't notice because you are beautiful at any size and possibly they didn't think of you as a "fat girl" in the first place.
  • mcpherson4
    mcpherson4 Posts: 287 Member
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    just think of your 5yr reunion......wow them then. nobody can take away your success

    I love this!! I am so proud of you! Don't you dare back down. You have come way too far to stop now. Hugs, sweetie.
  • WaterBunnie
    WaterBunnie Posts: 1,370 Member
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    Perhaps they've just always seen beyond your weight to the you inside :-)
  • obxwoman
    obxwoman Posts: 4 Member
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    Congrats on your progress . . . all that really matters is that you notice the difference, in how you look and feel! All of a sudden one day someone you haven't seen for a while will not even recognize you - true story! Keep up with the great work, you're obviously committed to being healthier and more fit!
  • kayemme
    kayemme Posts: 1,782 Member
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    Maybe they were worried you'd be offended if they mentioned it? I don't know, that's too bad, though. Most people would be like, "Wow! You look great!" Especially if they were old friends. Congrats on the loss! Keep it up!

    I teach English to immigrants, and one thing I always teach them is that when you see someone after a long time you always tell them "you look great!" even if it's not necessarily true (unless they look terrible, in which we give some other kind of compliment). When we focus on the positive, it benefits everybody!
  • Helenatrandom
    Helenatrandom Posts: 1,166 Member
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    Perhaps they said "You're looking good..." but you don't remember because you were hoping for something less generic. I usually say "You look GREAT!" My husband's closest friend lost a lot of weight when he was ill with cancer. It was a sore point for him. I usually say "You look GREAT!" instead of "You lost weight" unless I KNOW they are trying to lose weight.

    Don't worry, they noticed. They probably just were afraid it wouldn't come out right somehow.
  • acstansell
    acstansell Posts: 567 Member
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    Did you notice? If so, that's all that matters. The compliments are great, and they can boost motivation but the greatest compliment you can get paid is the smile you see in the mirror at seeing your own reflection and the pride you feel when the scale moves or you drop a size.

    People are reluctant to ask people about weight loss or weight gain. It's a social taboo.
  • sthrnchick
    sthrnchick Posts: 771
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    While having someone notice makes me smile...I really honestly dont care if people do...I have not come close to the awesome job that you have already done....and yet...I am BEYOND proud of all the hard work and planned eating that I have done...I dont need others to comment, because i just know...and I hope you know too!! Great job!
  • Shajadea
    Shajadea Posts: 57 Member
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    Oh Honey! I know the feeling. Several years ago I lost 30 pounds down from 300. It was the first time I ever tried to loose weight. We lived in Japan then too, a different base from where we live now but we had just moved there. I saw an acquaintance I had met when we first arrived and I thought for sure when she saw me she would say I looked different. I asked her if she noticed anything. She listed off several possibilities but none of them were my weight loss. I wanted to cry! When I told her she said I didn't look different to her. I learned I had to do it for me. Not to get compliments because it was obvious that wasn't going to happen. Eventually I did get compliments but it took a long time.
    Keep at it! Your efforts will pay off.
  • denise032
    denise032 Posts: 108 Member
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    Don't harp on what others say/think of you (or what they fail to say in this case). The only thing that matters is what you think and how you feel about yourself. A 55lbs weight loss is awesome and you should be proud of that. Keep up the great work! :)
  • hemlock2010
    hemlock2010 Posts: 422 Member
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    I've lost 55 pounds and people FINALLY started noticing at 53 pounds. But what really made them pay attention was that I got my hair cut so that it showed off my thinner face, and I got new clothes. The very next day all my colleagues suddenly noticed that I'd lost weight. At our size, I guess a mere 50 pounds is not as dramatic a difference as it would be on someone smaller. And I won't lie--I don't see all that much of a difference when I look in the mirror, so I'm not sure why I was expecting my coworkers to be able to see what I couldn't.

    But the moment you get new clothes, I bet a whole bunch of people will notice. :-)
  • musiclover69
    musiclover69 Posts: 3 Member
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    Congratulations on your weight loss success!! All your hard efforts are paying off. I'm sorry that no one noticed at your meeting, or I should say they didn't verbalize it. My guess is that some people did notice but weren't sure what to say. Conversations about weight loss are sometimes difficult to maneuver especially if people don't know how to tactfully give a compliment. Try to not let that detract you from your amazing accomplishment and all the good feelings that come with better health! Stay positive! :happy:
  • leeleeloulou
    leeleeloulou Posts: 31
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    there's plenty of feasible reasons they might not have mentioned it. from being afraid of offending you to, as you say, not noticing.

    personally, i think it's a mix between the "not wanting to offend you" and perhaps in their eyes you were perfect anyway?

    i'd put my money on them not wanting to offend you but a year is a long time and i can forget someone's features after a week.

    you've done fabulously so far and you can keep it up.

    remember, their silence is good... it must mean they don't know what to say :bigsmile: :bigsmile: :bigsmile:

    xxxx
  • Barbara98
    Barbara98 Posts: 60 Member
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    When i started losing weight i was 162 and i've almost lost 20lbs. I have some people who say i look great and don't lose any more and i have some people who say nothing when they see me. And females are the worse instead of supporting you they distance themselves from you. Ofcourse i have at least 10 more pounds i want to lose since i'm only 5ft and for my BMI i should actually be below that. I'm 46 and i'll be comfortable at 130. YOU keep up the fantastic work and don't let anyone get you down. Look at yourself in the mirrow and be proud of yourself. Losing weight is probably one of the hardest things i've had to do cause its something we concentrate on everyday. Keep up the Fantastic WORK and be PROUD. You've worked hard and were all proud of you at MFP!!
  • chrishgt4
    chrishgt4 Posts: 1,222 Member
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    I think people just don't tend to notice things a lot. People pay a lot less attention to us than we think.

    I wouldn't be disheartened by it. Just keep going. When you're at your goal weight they'll definitely notice.
  • RobynDCrossman
    RobynDCrossman Posts: 252
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    People are afraid you will contrue that to mean that you were too heavy before.
  • xxReach4TheStars2012xx
    xxReach4TheStars2012xx Posts: 6
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    No worries, from personal experience, I know that sometimes people don't mention someone elses' weight loss because
    a. They might feel that to be a touchy subject for the person and
    b. They feel the weight loss might have been a result of something negative (i.e. sickness, depression etc.)

    When it comes down to it, it's you that should be impressed with you. :0)

    Get excited!! "Yeahhhh!!! I drop that weight!"
  • mfpcopine
    mfpcopine Posts: 3,093 Member
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    Maybe... but I couldn't wait to tell them about MFP, and help some of my friends get on the good track...but it never came up :cry: since I didn't look any different to them

    Maybe they didn't want to open the door to weight loss advice (which they might have seen as a lecture). It might have spoiled the mood.

    The reason some people are happy to leave h.s. is because they feel that they are locked into an image. Maybe that happened with you, or maybe, as others have suggested, some people did notice but didn't want to say anything out of tact.

    At any rate, you're not giving up, are you?
  • dhencel
    dhencel Posts: 244 Member
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    Congratulations for the loss......I had that happen to me just last week.. I had lost 17 pounds and no one said a thing about it.... They are all people who need to lose weight themselves, so maybe they just didn't want to say anything because they haven't lost weight but anyway.......Keep in mind that YOU are the only one who it is important to....A healthier you!!!!!!!


    Oh, and i didn't mention that they were eating all kinds of FRIED foods= chicken wings, cheese fries smothered with cheese and bacon......I kept thinking " do you know how many calories are in those?" I didn't eat there because all they have is fried foods. I ate a good healthy dinner before I got there!!!!!

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