Online dating?

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  • ashlinmarie
    ashlinmarie Posts: 1,263 Member
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    My fiancé and I met on plenty of fish. There's a lot of idiots on there though and I'd almost given up hope of finding anyone...in fact I'd almost given up hope of finding anyone that could actually spell and was usually greeted to a barrage of messages saying "u lk hwt wna meet" and other such nonesense. I actually resorted to implementing a character limit on messages to me. That is, a minimum requirement. Still, they resorted to just adding a million !'s, but it eventually paid off and we're getting married in September.

    I actually put in my profile that if you used improper grammar or text talk or had severe spelling issues, I wouldn't respond. It certainly helped weed out a lot of the crazies and sex crazed I think. I was open that I wanted to just date and wasn't looking for a relationship so I was dating one guy and about 3 weeks in we got in an argument because I wouldn't call him my boyfriend. He was a lot of fun up until that point though. That's when I started just looking for friends and ended up meeting my best friend and my hubby!
  • Gestahl
    Gestahl Posts: 110 Member
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    I met my wife online... over LiveJournal, on a friend's blog. You can definitely find a good relationship online, but I firmly believe that you're just as likely to find a good relationship when you're not specifically looking for one. Whether online or in "real life," just being active and actively open to people should give you the best chances.
  • librarygoddess2
    librarygoddess2 Posts: 145 Member
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    I met my husband on plentyoffish.com.

    Okay, I have to be blunt, you meet a lot of crazies, but if you are specific about what you want and really get to know the person before agreeing to meet them, it can work wonders. Also, this goes without saying, but I'd go on at least 3 dates before being alone with them. Meet at a crowded restaurant or whatever and don't let yourself get into a situation where you rely on them for a ride home or whatever. I never had bad experiences with that, but just standard stuffs that you'd think is common sense but not everyone knows.

    But yes, again, met my husband....and to think of it, my best guy friend both on plentyoffish.com . Also met a few other really nice guys that it just didn't click with. I only messaged one jerk off but never ever EVER would have agreed to meet him. I'd definitely recommend trying it!

    I too met my partner of 5 years on Plenty of Fish. I had to throw quite a few back in the pond but as was said above, if you know what you want and stick with it. Make sure it's clear on your profile, you can find some really nice people on there. I know people have had luck with eHarmony but I've never used it myself. There is something to be said about people being serious enough to pay, however there are also crazies on there I'm sure.

    As far as online dating goes it's actually becoming the new norm. I know a LOT of people who have met their spouses online. Go for it. Have some fun, don't expect to meet the man of your dreams after the first few days and go in with your eyes wide open. Good luck!
  • librarygoddess2
    librarygoddess2 Posts: 145 Member
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    My fiancé and I met on plenty of fish. There's a lot of idiots on there though and I'd almost given up hope of finding anyone...in fact I'd almost given up hope of finding anyone that could actually spell and was usually greeted to a barrage of messages saying "u lk hwt wna meet" and other such nonesense. I actually resorted to implementing a character limit on messages to me. That is, a minimum requirement. Still, they resorted to just adding a million !'s, but it eventually paid off and we're getting married in September.

    I actually put in my profile that if you used improper grammar or text talk or had severe spelling issues, I wouldn't respond. It certainly helped weed out a lot of the crazies and sex crazed I think. I was open that I wanted to just date and wasn't looking for a relationship so I was dating one guy and about 3 weeks in we got in an argument because I wouldn't call him my boyfriend. He was a lot of fun up until that point though. That's when I started just looking for friends and ended up meeting my best friend and my hubby!

    HAHAHAH! Or the infamous message that just say's "Hi" what does that tell me???? I mean come on, put some effort into it. That being said, men have a lot harder time because they have to put out 4 times as many messages before they get a message back.

    I also wouldn't keep taking to someone if they clearly had not read my profile. If they were serious about wanting to find someone to date they wouldn't just randomly message me because they saw my picture and decided I might message back. Not that there isn't room for learning but at least look at my profile and see if we have anything in common. Then your message can be "Hi, I see you like video games too! What do you play?" The only answer to Hi.. is Hi...

    Alright.. stepping off my soapbox. :-P
  • skschuler
    skschuler Posts: 181 Member
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    I've just joined match.com, haven't met anyone in person yet. I'm encouraged by all the people on here who have met a partner. I will also always be cautious but I can't imagine there being more weirdo's than I meet at the bars. Good luck!
  • beachlover718
    beachlover718 Posts: 82
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    thanks for this post! I too am considering going back to online dating in the very near future. I did it briefly about a year and a half ago (one date!) and really liked it, it was just very time consuming (kind of like the MFP message boards lol). My date was very nice, we met in a public place, I told my family and friends where I would be and that if they didnt hear from me in 2 hrs to come looking lol. It just happened that I also started talking to an old friend from college and we started dating so I dropped the online for a while. College friend and I didnt work out, broke up a few months ago and I think I'm ready to jump back in (it's SO scary to put myself back out there!) I appreciate everyone's advice and I like the idea of joining a social club so I will also check out meetup, thanks for that suggestion! :smile:
  • Notorious_T
    Notorious_T Posts: 384
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    thanks for the input and advice everyone!! <3<3<3
  • Lorah39
    Lorah39 Posts: 6
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    I must be doing soething wrong cuz all i get on plenty of fish and okcupid is guys that want sex.
  • DS67ATX
    DS67ATX Posts: 289
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    I met someone on MFP and things are going pretty good so far.Its nice to meet someone you have so much connection with.
  • mcotie
    mcotie Posts: 33 Member
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    I do try, but it is really hard. So many people just want sex.


    Aoikirin, I so do agree with you there... That is all people are looking for... No one really want to take the time to get to know someone for who they really are...

    But if you would like to chat a little feel free to add me..
  • jesscod
    jesscod Posts: 98
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    What everyone else said...it can be hit or miss. I met a lot of people I had stuff in common with but no chemistry ultimately. The one guy I did end up in a long term relationship with I had chatted with for e very long time before we even met. We ended up moving in together and needless to say, he had some issues in the end. Just gotta make sure you are being honest and don't expect anything less than honesty from the other person - just like real life actually, but there are more opportunities for conversations without physical contact, which is IMHO better because people who hang out in real life can be mislead by their hormones...
  • natvanessa
    natvanessa Posts: 230 Member
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    I just have to chime in and disagree with those that say you will meet a lot of "crazies". That's not true! Online dating is super common now and people online are the same people you see out and about every day!

    Yes, meet in public at first but it's a little exaggerated that the guys you might meet are crazy.
    I've met at least 50 guys from online dating and only 1 or 2 were crazy lol. Overall it's fun and a great way to meet people!!

    Good luck :-)
  • auticus
    auticus Posts: 1,051 Member
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    Dating sites are ****. That's just my own thought and opinion. Good luck.
  • Dethea
    Dethea Posts: 247 Member
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    Online dating is not good. Takes a lot of time.
  • missattitude57
    missattitude57 Posts: 77
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    I met my honey on plentyoffish and it's been six wonderful years now, plus a ring, a house and a baby. He's my perfect match. But I met a lot of weirdos before I met him. I was actually logging on to delete my profile after a particularly horrific encounter when I saw his cute dimples smiling at me from the screen. I am SO GLAD I gave it one last shot!

    However, I agree with ashlinmarie 100% about the rules of engagement. I always met my "dates" during the day, in public. They did not know my phone number and they did not pick me or drive me home. No alcohol was involved ... EVER. And I always told a friend where I was going and when I would be back. Just in case. Because you never know.

    OMG -- This is the same thing as me -- I was about to delete my account, and had just been on there deleting messages, but for some reason I gave him a chance!!!

    This happened to me too! I found out after we got together that my now husband and I were both ready to give up but gave each other a chance as a 'one last shot' kind of thing. We've been together for almost 3.5 years and married for 7 months!! Plentyoffish is the way to go :) good luck!!
  • brainbird2
    brainbird2 Posts: 9
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    Match.com Good Luck and be safe, theres plenty of genuine people on these sites but lots of nutjobs too!!
  • mandalu292
    mandalu292 Posts: 68 Member
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    I tried online dating about 5-6 years ago... it's a great way to meet people, plus you can be pretty honest about what you're looking for rather than having to wait the appropriate number of dates to have those conversations.

    I'll be honest, I met a few losers... but it was all worth it when I met my husband online! Funny thing was he emailed me on a personals site that I wasn't paying for so I could read his messages but not respond. Luckily he randomly found that we had a mutual friend on facebook after seeing the same picture of me as the personals page. He contacted me on there and the rest is history. Dated a couple months, engaged and married within that first year. When you know you know! Just celebrated 4 years of marriage and I could not be happier!
  • Notorious_T
    Notorious_T Posts: 384
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    I really appreciate all the comments and love, thanks all!!!
  • htmlgirl
    htmlgirl Posts: 314 Member
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    I met my husband on hotornot. We talked on the phone for hours before we met in person. We dated for a month, then I broke it off because we lived too far away and neither one of us had cars. I just couldn't deal with long distance at the time. About a year and a half later when I was done with school, I sent him an email asking if there was any chance we could try to get back together. He said yes and as soon as he came back from his deployment, I went to visit him at the post and we started dating again. We were together a year before we got married and now we are going on 3 years married.

    Online dating was good for me because I'm not very good with social situations, so it helped me get to know someone online before we met in person. It's worth giving it a shot if you want. Just practice some basic safety when you do.
  • Sabine_Stroehm
    Sabine_Stroehm Posts: 19,263 Member
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    I've known friends who've met the love of their life on dating sites. Friends who've met friends. And friends who've had bad experiences.

    Sounds just like "real life", doesn't it?

    The way I see it: in the "olden days" people met through family, or were otherwise set up. Now it's just high tech.

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