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MyFitnessPal Community

harassment in the workplace? please help?

BeautyFromPain

Hi there,

A certain manager I work with is just a downright *kitten*.

He makes all the girls feel very uncomfortable whilst at work.
Eg today he was saying that i didn't have a boyfriend because of my looks and saying that i obviously was a bad kisser and f***er! how the hell would he know? Other than the fact that is degrading that is complete and utter inappropriate conversation for the workplace. He says this sort of stuff to all the different girls there and he tried to fire one girl because he touched her *kitten* by "accident" and she was upset and talking to her friend about it. He also always talks about his $ex life whilst in work when all the girls are around.

He is just a manager now, but becoming a store manager soon, idk what to do because he said he would fire me if I went to higher management, and I really need the money.

What would you do?

Replies

BeautyFromPain

set your phone on video and record his nasty *kitten*. than take that to corp! THEY have to do something at that point. if they do not than you send it to a local TV station and tell them what is going on

Make sure you know what the laws are. In some places it is illegal to record someone without their knowledge and consent.

But it is equally illegal to sexually harass someone.

I know that it is illegal, but I also know they have about 5 or 6 cameras recording throughout the store at all times. You cannot hear anything but we could probably look and see him sexually harassing them, whether it be him talking to them or touching them.

callsitlikeiseeit

go to HR. try to gt the other girls to go with you.

all of you need to document EVERYTHING (time, date, what was said) id even record it.... you couldnt use it in a court of law most likely, but you CAN take it to HR

(i used to work in HR!!! they WILL (if its a decent company) do something. and if not - take it to the attorney generals office)

leilaphoenix

Bring it up with senior management. If no action is taken within 1 month I'd get a new job. Might sound like running away but do you really want to work for a company that doesn't take this kind of thing seriously?

Fit4Evolution

its sexual harrassment, go to HR and if they dont have an HR person then say you rwill speak to your lawyer.. I bet he zips his trap shut after that

mjterp

It has already been said, but I'll reinforce it...
Document
REPORT TO HR
There are laws against his behavior...you don't deserve to be treated this way and neither does anyone else
There are laws against punishment for reporting (Whistle blower)
ALL of this should be posted somewhere in your work place with information on where to go to report it.

Encourage the others that complain to do the same! Corporate needs to know before he gets into the store manager role!

sel254

Have you got a recorder on your phone? That's one way of getting proper proof.

But if he does it to everyone, surely his superiors should believe a group of people over his say so?

He's only threatening to fire you to scare you out of reporting him!

LifeChangingExp

Document document and document everything!!!

This, and you need a witness too it. Time, place, emails etc, keep it all, then go to HR. Shocking way for a manager to behave. What age is IT, 15?

^this and set that mofo up!

Di3012

Guys like this are bullies in their own way and rely on people NOT to report them or to fight back. So as others are saying, document everything, get it on audio or video if possible. Also, maybe get together with your co-workers and come up with a unified way to deal with him. For example, if he says something crude or rude, you need to say, I don't like what you just said to me and I want you to stop. It's unacceptable behavior. Or, if he touches you, yell, "STOP, don't touch me! Keep your hands to yourself! That's wrong!"

He relies on silence to continue to do what he's doing. I would still report him, but I would also make it clear his behavior is WRONG. If no one says anything, he's going to say "Oh, everyone knew I was just joking."

Easier said than done, I know. I once had a Chief Financial Officer of a billion dollar company, ask if I would sit on his lap. About 4 or 5 other people were in the room. I said, you have a lot of nerve right down the hall from so and so's office (head of HR). He replied, "Oh, she can sit on my lap, too. "

I did nothing and still regret it. I should have gone immediately down the hall to report it, and then gotten a lawyer.

I have told him multiple times to either stop or I am going to report it to the owners, he has now hidden the managers number book so I cannot find the owners number. Will send a letter to HO (head office) most definitely. Thankyou everyone.

:noway: He has hidden the owner's number???

Report him for that too.

MysticMaiden22

document everything and report it to higher management. you cannot be simply fired for a complaint like this and there are laws that will protect you.

Alysgrma

Been there done that!
1.First off you have to have witnesses in telling him to stop you don't like it, if you dont tell him to stop he can say you liked hearing about it, even though it is still illegal to talk about things like that while at work.
2. document everything he does and say and having other witnesses around when he does it would be best
3. if he doesnt stop go to HR with all the evidence, you have to have proof, date, time and who was around and what was said
4 If he doesnt stop or fires you...he can fire you for other reasons but we know what the real reason is...contact a lawyer

Hope all goes well for you

Adsnwfld

Right on the money, make sure you have witnesses to telling him you feel uncomfortable. While there are laws against harassment some cultures are hard to change and it could get uncomfortable for you. hang in there and do what is right. Documentation is the key, it may take a little bit but he will stop or not work near you.

Good Luck

chocciechip

Send him an email stating very clearly every piece of harassment he has directed towards you and/ or your colleagues. Without getting emotional in ANY WAY. You must stick to the facts alone and say how it is inappropriate and if he does not stop this behaviour you will take it further.

That way you have written proof that you have warned him about his behaviour towards you so that if nothing changes or he says anything to you, tries to fire you/ discipline you if he's scared then you have proof that he's doing it because of your letter.

Stay strong you are in the right and what he is doing is ILLEGAL and discriminatory and he shouldn't get away with it.

maybe with a warning he'll stop and if not then you take it to HR. I don't know about the suing part but taking action against him for his behaviour is fair game.

good luck xx

BeautyFromPain

see problem is that i work in a place with only him and 1 other person inbetween the hours of 8-11.30. the other guy takes his break at 10.30 and he usually waits until he has gone on his break to say/do this crap...

But, he has done this stuff to the night crew when there has been more than 1 person on, so this still counts right?
And other people have overheard it but he tries to keep it secretive.

jean1058

What would you do?

I would invest in a "spy cam" that could record video and audio, and I would set him up. I would simply turn on the recording device and listen.

Then I would report him to his boss, Human Resources and the local news channel. A bit of publicity would force your employer to do something immediately.

But then, I'm kind of a "B".

TylerJ76

see problem is that i work in a place with only him and 1 other person inbetween the hours of 8-11.30. the other guy takes his break at 10.30 and he usually waits until he has gone on his break to say/do this crap...

But, he has done this stuff to the night crew when there has been more than 1 person on, so this still counts right?
And other people have overheard it but he tries to keep it secretive.

Of course it counts.
He is sexually harassing you!

I wouldn't waste another minute, and report him now.

zsaoosh

Record his *kitten*...take that up and if that doesnt work you have evidence to sue their *kitten*!

musicgirl99

As another poster said, document everything. I would go to higher management and ask them to respect your confidentiality. They can address the issue with him without telling him it was you who complained. What he is doing is illegal not to mention immoral. Good luck and hope all goes well for you.

kapeluza

Guys like this are bullies in their own way and rely on people NOT to report them or to fight back. So as others are saying, document everything, get it on audio or video if possible. Also, maybe get together with your co-workers and come up with a unified way to deal with him. For example, if he says something crude or rude, you need to say, I don't like what you just said to me and I want you to stop. It's unacceptable behavior. Or, if he touches you, yell, "STOP, don't touch me! Keep your hands to yourself! That's wrong!"

He relies on silence to continue to do what he's doing. I would still report him, but I would also make it clear his behavior is WRONG. If no one says anything, he's going to say "Oh, everyone knew I was just joking."

Easier said than done, I know. I once had a Chief Financial Officer of a billion dollar company, ask if I would sit on his lap. About 4 or 5 other people were in the room. I said, you have a lot of nerve right down the hall from so and so's office (head of HR). He replied, "Oh, she can sit on my lap, too. "

I did nothing and still regret it. I should have gone immediately down the hall to report it, and then gotten a lawyer.

I have told him multiple times to either stop or I am going to report it to the owners, he has now hidden the managers number book so I cannot find the owners number. Will send a letter to HO (head office) most definitely. Thankyou everyone.

Document.

Keep conversation logs which record time, date, location and all the details of the harassment!!

Dethea

Definitely document everything. This is sexual harassment, and he can (and should) be fired for this.

kapeluza

see problem is that i work in a place with only him and 1 other person inbetween the hours of 8-11.30. the other guy takes his break at 10.30 and he usually waits until he has gone on his break to say/do this crap...

But, he has done this stuff to the night crew when there has been more than 1 person on, so this still counts right?
And other people have overheard it but he tries to keep it secretive.

Then you need to contact the owner, immediately. Like right now. STOP wasting time and report.

TeresaWash

I would think if you went to upper management (which you should) he'd be fired.
If you get fired over this.... you won't have to work, hire an attorney and sue! You'd definately win.
Document EVERYTHING.

What a slimeball!

b1fowler

Try to get him on camera, almost everyone has a camera on there phone now a days. Record him when he is harassing one of the other employees or just try to hit record in your pocket when he is talking with you. Even if you don't get a video you at least have a voice recording. Then report him. No good company is going to fire you over him if you have proof to show what he is doing.

M77308

Tell him to go to hell... talk to higher management... and if things won't change walk out the door and find something else. No one deserves that kind of treatment.

krawl78

set your phone on video and record his nasty *kitten*. than take that to corp! THEY have to do something at that point. if they do not than you send it to a local TV station and tell them what is going on

I agree with this one. Try to get it recorded some way. Also, band together with the other women at work who are being harassed and ALL of you approach someone above that child.

numee2012

OMG sounds like someone who needs to be taught a lesson i would be tempted to buy a recording device and try and get him recorded saying stuff and then you have evidence. Is there someone higher up you can go to once you have some evidence?

icandoit203

Document document and document everything!!!

Report him and go to hr you are there 8 hrs a day you should not have to deal with that.

lauralizzy829

Document document and document everything!!!

^^^This. I've been in a similar situation where my manager was actually harassing (not sexually) and yelling at our mentally retarded clients and showing favoritism to certain clients and their families. I brought it up to HR and was told since I didn't have dates of incidents or documented them it was the same as me gossiping to her (our HR person is a c*nt, but that's besides the point). So I started a notebook of incidents. After 2 months, I filled said notebook. Threw it on the desk of head of HR, said "That enough documentation?" and went home. Came back and my fellow co-worker was moving his stuff into our former supervisor's office bc they fired his @ss.

DOCUMENT DOCUMENT DOCUMENT. Don't talk about it with other co-workers. Just with the powers that be.

kitkatkmt

Document document and document everything!!!

This!!! Document, document, document - and if you can get it on audio, do it! Then bring it to human resources - this is NOT OKAY!!!

AlsDonkBoxSquat

Document document and document everything!!!

I have an app for my phone with a recorder. I would record everything and take it to managment. No one needs a job bad enough to be talked to like that, there are other jobs that pay the same. Don't go to upper management alone, have your co-workers document their experiences as well.

wickedcricket

what!?? I'd press charges, that's what. I think I'd get a restraining order too- have him removed from my vicinity. Or maybe I'd kick his *kitten* and let HIM get a restraining order ... depends on my mood