When others cook for you.

cheeksv
cheeksv Posts: 521 Member
I eat with family and friends at their homes and when they cook they always brag how healthy the food is that they made so I could eat it. It never fails, and I mean NEVER fails that they have made in reality an unhealthy meal that they think is great.

Veggies drenched in half a stick of butter ( literally half a stick), Breads with heavy creamy , meaty dips, Pastas, sugar coated fruits and processed boxed sides and the meat is usually fatty cuts or drenched in some sort of salty or sweet sauce. Now, as a guest I never complain, just take smaller portions. It does make me chuckle a bit though and has made me wonder if anyone else goes through this? What is the most unhealthy thing you ate that someone claimed to be great for you? Have you actually told them it was unhealthy?
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Replies

  • tehpounce
    tehpounce Posts: 64
    Thankfully my dad eats super healthy so when I eat over at his place, I don't have to worry about dying. But my mom? All processed goo because that's all my step-siblings and my step dad eats. If it's just her and I? Super healthy but otherwise no. Friends I don't have many of so I don't have to worry about that.
  • moybunny
    moybunny Posts: 1
    It's difficult i tend to avoid eating at family gatherings or head for the salad bowl (provided it isnt drenched in dressing). Dieting can make life difficult but the end result is worth it.
  • bevtrayer
    bevtrayer Posts: 37
    My husband loves to cook but I think he tries his best to sabotage my eating plans. He doesn't like chicken so when he cooks it is usually hamburger or pork chops.. I am so tired of hamburger... Most of the time i will usually try to eat vegetables, The other day I came home and he was making a chocolate cake..... If I don't watch him he will put butter and cheese in everything. ( not reduced fat either). Do you think I'm being paranoid?
  • HideNGeek
    HideNGeek Posts: 136 Member
    I'm generally quite upfront about what I like and what I don't, without being rude.
    My mum knows I prefer my vegetables al dente so she takes mine out before she carries on cooking those for her and dad, which is when any additional stuff would be added in.
  • Martucha123
    Martucha123 Posts: 1,089 Member
    me
    my mother in law thinks she cooks healthy

    but here are some examples of her healthy dishes:
    apetizers: raddish sliced served with oil, potato served with allioli (heavy mayo made with garlic)
    deep fried chicken, sausage links fried, salad with ton of oil in it (in spain they put oil in absolutely every salad, becaus oil is healthy :)) paella with ton of oil again
    strawberries with cream and sugar

    now I wouldn't mind to eat it, just smaller portions but I actually hate it!
    I love fruits and veggies and don't like them to be covered in anything, a bit of salt for veggies and absolutely nothing for fruits is perfect for me
    also not a big fan of meat dripping in fat... I hate the texture

    don't get me wrong I love chips and burgers, but the fat in them is hidden, not all over the meat and dripping
  • carysj
    carysj Posts: 22
    The amount of oil my parents use to cook is a bugbear of mine. I've mentioned the amount of calories per spoon and usually get the reply 'But its olive oil, its healthy oil'. I don't push the issue though, when I visit them I fit in with their meal plans and wouldn't want them to go out of their way for me, I just make up for it at the gym next time.
  • my family knows of my calorie counting so if im visiting my parents for the week she will inform me of how many are in the dish im eating as for my in-laws i dont really eat round their place as we dont see them very often but they too are aware of my lifestyle choice and are very supportive
  • cheeksv
    cheeksv Posts: 521 Member
    My husband loves to cook but I think he tries his best to sabotage my eating plans. He doesn't like chicken so when he cooks it is usually hamburger or pork chops.. I am so tired of hamburger... Most of the time i will usually try to eat vegetables, The other day I came home and he was making a chocolate cake..... If I don't watch him he will put butter and cheese in everything. ( not reduced fat either). Do you think I'm being paranoid?

    haha no, I am not sure he is sabotaging but he is not tip toeing around making what he likes. My fiance doesn't cook, but what I do is keep pre cooked shredded chicken in the fridge for when he wants red meat. That way I get my protein and he gets his.
  • Slimmasaurus
    Slimmasaurus Posts: 141 Member
    When I'm not at university I'm at home, including from June - September every summer.
    My Mum does all the cooking and won't let anyone else do it, or grocery shop... the result is a tonne of food that she tells me is healthy, but really isn't...
    Veggies and boiled potatoes covered in butter (in the pan, so I don't have a choice!)
    Whole, homogenized milk (the cream pools at the top of the carton)
    Cake with fruit in - this is funny. She bakes cakes with wholemeal flour and orange, including thick buttercream icing. She insists this is healthy!
    Quiche - apparently all the eggs in this make it healthy... I think she forgets about the cheese and cream that she puts in it.
    Vegetable soups that would be healthy but she puts cream in them...
    Every meal has an element of cheese in it.

    The list goes on.
    There's not much that I can do about it, I'm still trying to find a way to try and avoid these foods but they make up EVERY MEAL. :( I've already put on weight since coming home 3 weeks ago...
  • dxwatson2
    dxwatson2 Posts: 69 Member
    My husband loves to cook but I think he tries his best to sabotage my eating plans. He doesn't like chicken so when he cooks it is usually hamburger or pork chops.. I am so tired of hamburger... Most of the time i will usually try to eat vegetables, The other day I came home and he was making a chocolate cake..... If I don't watch him he will put butter and cheese in everything. ( not reduced fat either). Do you think I'm being paranoid?

    I've had similar experiences with my husband. One way that we've found around this is that he loves to grill, so it's quite easy for him to throw down a burger or steak or porkchop for himself and next to it grill a piece of chicken for me. Sometimes he thinks he's being a great guy by picking up something decadent that he knows I like; for him, food is the way you make people feel better. Sometimes I have to tell him "I can't eat that" even though I know he's gone out of his way to get something as a "sweet surprise."
  • tabulator32
    tabulator32 Posts: 701 Member
    What I choose to ingest into my body always takes priority over trying to spare someone's feelings over a group meal gathering.

    Everyone with which I may share a meal knows my goals and intentions and doesn't mind that I am doing what I want to control what I eat. If they can't understand it and protest, what kind of family or friend are they?

    My brother is one of those people, always wanting you to "try the experience." Try one, just try it, try it with a piece of this! You'll love it! It won't kill you. Its just one piece! You'll want more! C'mon! Just try a piece! (Shut up, already.)

    As such, I don't visit my brother very much. LOL

    My wife will also eat things I won't. Cake, brownies, etc. I just tell them, how could you possibly be offended by me not taking a piece of sugary dessert? I don't "hate" your cake. I just love being healthy. :smile:
  • bevtrayer
    bevtrayer Posts: 37
    I know that feeling! I end up buying groceries that I can eat and ones that he likes too. (It doesn't help matters any that he needs to be eating healthy himself) If I cook something that is healthy he won't eat it or turns up his nose at it.
  • bevtrayer
    bevtrayer Posts: 37
    What I choose to ingest into my body always takes priority over trying to spare someone's feelings over a group meal gathering.

    Everyone with which I may share a meal knows my goals and intentions and doesn't mind that I am doing what I want to control what I eat. If they can't understand it and protest, what kind of family or friend are they?

    My brother is one of those people, always wanting you to "try the experience." Try one, just try it, try it with a piece of this! You'll love it! It won't kill you. Its just one piece! You'll want more! C'mon! Just try a piece! (Shut up, already.)

    As such, I don't visit my brother very much. LOL

    My wife will also eat things I won't. Cake, brownies, etc. I just tell them, how could you possibly be offended by me not taking a piece of sugary dessert? I don't "hate" your cake. I just love being healthy. :smile:
  • bevtrayer
    bevtrayer Posts: 37
    where is the LIKE button?
  • jess393
    jess393 Posts: 220 Member
    My best friend is an AMAZING cook, but not a healthy one :/ When I know I'm going over there for dinner I bring the sides- salads, healthier deserts, etc. But the worst thing she could ever say: Well, they're veggies. That's healthy! hahahaaa. Tons of butter and oil on everything is NOT healthy!
  • schpanks
    schpanks Posts: 468 Member
    My wife is fabulous about asking me, "What do you want and how do you want me to make it?" Measures and everything. :smile: Where we differ is her, "Can we go for Mexican tonight?" Overall she's very understanding. If I'm going ANYWHERE, I take something. Usually, I'm terrible with temptation and end up eating 3 gooey butter cookies, anyway, but at least I made the attempt to bring a vegetable tray and frozen fruit cups. I'm a vegetarian, so people are used to me bringing food just in case nothing is vegetarian friendly.
  • asongforholly
    asongforholly Posts: 29 Member
    My husband used to be like this. Ordering pizzas and chowing down on fried foods. Bringing home a MASSIVE bag of M&M's from Costco or cookies.

    Now that he's supporting me and also eating healthy it's really helped.

    My In-laws are very supportive too. Since we switched to ground turkey meat (for everything) we can't eat ground chuck. It makes us sick. So if she makes hamburgers or something when we go over they always have Turkey burgers for us. If it's a cake and ice cream thing she'll have skinny cow in the freezer for me. It's really let us/me enjoy eating over there. (We go weekly)
  • chocciechip
    chocciechip Posts: 207 Member
    haha my dad is the same but as he's scottish (and was a chef) it's all 'oh this is really healthy - it's only flavoured with a little port/brandy, a small bit of butter...

    there's also always A LOT of food. Fortunately (depending how you look at it) I'm wheat intolerant (and recently discovered lactose intolerant) so it means that people often have to cook slightly differently for me and leave out a lot of the butter and cream and flours and I can say no to cake without offending people!!
  • PercivalHackworth
    PercivalHackworth Posts: 1,437 Member
    When someone cooks for me, I don't give a damn about calories, it's something I find very mean.
    Also we are so nazi about food that when it is possible to loose the grip, I do it.

    Though I'd love to have someone to cook for me, and making me hit my macros. I'd marry her the very same day :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:
  • tigersword
    tigersword Posts: 8,059 Member
    I just want to say this.

    Healthy does not mean low calorie. Low calorie does not mean healthy.

    The vast majority of "unhealthy" examples given in this thread are actually very healthy foods, they just happen to be high calorie healthy foods.

    Butter = healthy
    Cheese = healthy
    Milk = healthy
    Olive oil = healthy

    Dairy contains stearic acid, which is a very heart healthy saturated fat, same as the lauric acid in coconut oil.

    Just because something is high calorie, doesn't mean it's unhealthy.
  • ElizabethRoad
    ElizabethRoad Posts: 5,138 Member
    where is the LIKE button?
    On facebook.
  • Swissmiss
    Swissmiss Posts: 8,754 Member
    So many people really do not know what healthy meals are like. For example....I stopped at a restaurant and asked if they had any healthy items on the menu. Waitress says yes, that they have fish. Deep fried fish !!!:laugh:
  • TheRoadDog
    TheRoadDog Posts: 11,788 Member
    I do 99% of the cooking in my home. If someone goes to the trouble of cooking for me, I thank them and deal with any caloric issues during the rest of the week.

    Can't think of quicker way to put the brakes on someone doing something for you than to criticize them for it.
  • Swissmiss
    Swissmiss Posts: 8,754 Member
    I just want to say this.

    Healthy does not mean low calorie. Low calorie does not mean healthy.

    The vast majority of "unhealthy" examples given in this thread are actually very healthy foods, they just happen to be high calorie healthy foods.

    Butter = healthy
    Cheese = healthy
    Milk = healthy
    Olive oil = healthy



    Dairy contains stearic acid, which is a very heart healthy saturated fat, same as the lauric acid in coconut oil.

    Just because something is high calorie, doesn't mean it's unhealthy.


    This is true. But what the OP described is NOT healthy.
  • jeffpettis
    jeffpettis Posts: 865 Member
    I 99% the cooking in my home. If someone goes to the trouble of cooking for me, I thank them and deal with any caloric issues during the rest of the week.

    Can't think of quicker way to put the brakes on someone doing something for you than to criticize them for it.

    I agree with this ^^^^^^^^^
  • Amo_Angelus
    Amo_Angelus Posts: 604 Member
    I don't generally have this problem. I have severe food phobias and have done since childhood so even people who have known me my entire life always ask me before they start cooking. I feel really bad about it sometimes, I went to my best friends house, well her mums as she's currently between houses and her blessed mother was cooking...She had to make one regular family meal, 1 vegetarian option, 1 Food Phobia option and 1 severe allergies option! You know, if I didn't have the phobia and someone cooked me the unhealthy option...I'd be happy. I'd be happy that I'm not putting them out, that I can eat that stuff, as well as the healthy stuff. As it is, I usually make hasty exits around meal times, at college I was always vanishing around dinner time to go home just so I didn't have to put them in that situation. Would I tell them? No force on this planet could possess me to at the meal table, and away from the table...only if it came up in passing.
  • Thesoundofwolf
    Thesoundofwolf Posts: 378 Member
    Depends who it is, really.

    Like close family members, IE: my brother, mom or dad. I -will- correct them. Half because I like being able to show off my knowledge and knock my (mother*) off their high horse about food health and fitness, and half because ignorance is a sickness, it's only cure is knowledge, patience and understanding.

    Extended family, friends that I don't hang out with much, I'll just smile nod, and eat less- claiming 'I'm not that hungry'. Depending on how foot in mouth I am, I may subtly give hints about better food choices (IE: changing out food types for healthier alternatives, the same taste with half the bad!).

    Social grace is something society should appreciate once again. A meal being shared with another human is the most primal expression with a person that is non sexual. To sit down and take apart in food, share, and exchange culture, experience, and a laugh. The gesture alone is a gift. And time spent with the other person, the fact they even attempted to make 'healthy food for me', is a flattering gesture, and should feel good for one's ego in the best of ways.

    It meant they tried to take time outside of themselves to think about you, in a health sense, to make food for you.
  • This is when being celiac comes to an advantage. I can say, no I can't have that cake, it's not gluten free and no one gets offended :-)
  • myfoodlogs
    myfoodlogs Posts: 3 Member
    Portion control is key.

    Over the years I've found that while it is important to speak up if you would like something done differently, there are certain situations where that is simply not possible. Things that come to mind: first date, dinner with your boss, a new friend who has you over for dinner for the first time. In those situations it could be rude to do anything more than eating your food and saying thank you.

    So I stick with good old portion control when I don't know the caloric content of foods. We are so focused on calorie counting today that we forget the simplest way of staying healthy: just don't eat all of it. Calorie counting is possible in North America where the information is readily available, but most foods do not have that kind of information in other places around the world. And people are certainly capable of staying healthy outside of North America.

    And of course, being vegan helps eliminate a lot of sources of calories. Although, you'd be surprised at how many ingredients can go in some vegan dishes these days!
  • icemaiden17_uk
    icemaiden17_uk Posts: 463 Member
    I don't generally eat at other peoples houses, however I am going to stay at my Dads house in a few weeks and we were chatting about what I can and can't eat! They talked about a fish pie and were going on about how great it was when I said "That sounds nice but very calorific!" They both just told me to forget the diet for a week and not worry about it!! Well thanks for the support guys!! Really!!

    If I give up on my diet for a week I would only be hurting myself and proving that I don't really mean the changes I am trying to make for my family! Besides I really don't want to put weight on while I am there because it has been hard enough getting to this stage in the first place!! I am hoping that while I am there it will be better!!