Dear high school gym teacher...

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2

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  • Triquetra
    Triquetra Posts: 270 Member
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    Dear Verbally Abusive Estranged Mother.....

    I am NOT what you thought I would be...fat, dirty, rotten mother, uneducated, worthless, on welfare, etc.

    I am PROUD to say I have two wonderful children, a nice house, it's clean, I bathe regularly and I have lost a lot of weight (still going too).

    Too bad you were such a rotten mom that you will never meet my two wonderful children, see my nice clean house, or see what I look like now!

    Signed: No Longer Your Daughter
  • digitalbill
    digitalbill Posts: 1,410 Member
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    Dear Ex Wife.
    Yes, I know that, as an Army PFC, I was not making too much money. Although you did not work at all while you were with me.
    I know that I was not always there for you. Sorry about that, I was too busy getting shot at in other countries to worry about getting your new Camaro detailed.
    Yes, the guys you slept with while I was away were in good shape.
    The old saying is true. Looks DO fade.
    Never in my LIFE did I ever think that you would outweigh me but, honey, here we are.
    And it is not like I am a small guy either.

    Awesome- had several Army buddies that had wives like that! Great that you turned the tables and are in a better place. Airborne!!
    This actually deserves a follow up.
    ...
    After you decided to leave me while I was deployed, I will admit that coming home to that empty apartment on a cold day in Germany did seem like the end of the world however, I was very fortunate to have some caring friends.
    Not long after you left, I was promoted so my paycheck went up quite a bit.
    Also, my new alone time allowed me to start working out so, I went from 170 LBS to a rock solid 220.
    It is too bad you didn't get to enjoy my new 24 year old hard body but, have no fear, the local Fräuleins noticed and appreciated me.
    My second promotion (Now a SGT) actually got me to the point that I could afford a brand new car but, I played it smart and invested it in property instead. How is that single bedroom apartment treating you? Are you still, at 42 years old, working at a fast food joint?
    By the way, I was thrilled when our son turned 21 years old and FINALLY decided enough was enough and came to Florida to hang out with me for a few weeks. I am not sure what you poisoned him with but, he seemed to be honestly shocked when I did not turn out to be a scum bag. I am thrilled to announce that he will be moving to Florida soon and away from you.
    Hugs and kisses babe.
  • LauraMacNCheese
    LauraMacNCheese Posts: 7,198 Member
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    Dear ex-boyfriend who called me unattractive & a fat f**k: may the fleas of 1,000 camels infest your crotch & may your arms be too short to scratch.
  • angieleighbyrd
    angieleighbyrd Posts: 989 Member
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    Dear 65 pound overweight grandpa who only does fad diets and then gains ALL and some more of the weight back. I'm sorry I just couldn't read all the books you gave me, or all the magazine articles that told me to eat nothing but grapefruit. I'm sorry that you thought that was the only way I would ever be healthy. I'm sorry your prepackaged frozen meals weren't good enough for me.

    Would you like my advice now or do you still feel like diets are the only way?
  • Bigpelly8
    Bigpelly8 Posts: 504 Member
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    I'd like to give a giant FU to my father. Couldn't be around for me, but you think I'm gonna let you be a grand father to my kid. My Stepfather has done more for me than you could ever dream of. Sorry, but he gets the Grandpa title, and you get *kitten*.

    You taught me the greatest lesson of all...How not to be a father! Thanks for the advice D bag, now get bent, and don't even look at my kid!!
  • SexyCook
    SexyCook Posts: 2,253 Member
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    Dear Mid-Section,

    Please just go and don't visit me ever again.....I really want to be with the twins....V-cut and definition.....NO need to respond...BYE!!!
  • Jacwhite22
    Jacwhite22 Posts: 7,012 Member
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    Dear stepsister,

    We arent related It's ok! Who's the chubby one now?
    lol
  • EEpling89
    EEpling89 Posts: 152
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    My high school show choir instructor told me I could "stand to lose a few". I saw her out in public the other day and she tried to talk but I just walked away without a word. She had "gained a few".
  • lbigham1
    lbigham1 Posts: 132
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    Dear guys who used to tease me:

    Yes, I accept your apology and the free drink that came with it.
    No, you can't have my number.

    Love This!
  • allisonmrn
    allisonmrn Posts: 721 Member
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    Dear pr!ck from high school who used to call me "fat", "cow", or "blubber butt" every morning when I walked past you, even though I weighed only 10 pound more than I do right now: I'm glad you broke your nose on the bottom of the pool during diving practice my senior year.

    I didn't even have to wait for that karma.....

    That is awesome!!!!! :-)
  • Tiranna
    Tiranna Posts: 4
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    Dear ex-boyfriend who called me unattractive & a fat f**k: may the fleas of 1,000 camels infest your crotch & may your arms be too short to scratch.

    bahahahahahahaha!!! YES.
  • EEpling89
    EEpling89 Posts: 152
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    Dear Ex Wife.
    Yes, I know that, as an Army PFC, I was not making too much money. Although you did not work at all while you were with me.
    I know that I was not always there for you. Sorry about that, I was too busy getting shot at in other countries to worry about getting your new Camaro detailed.
    Yes, the guys you slept with while I was away were in good shape.
    The old saying is true. Looks DO fade.
    Never in my LIFE did I ever think that you would outweigh me but, honey, here we are.
    And it is not like I am a small guy either.

    HA! Sounds like she got what she had coming! :)
  • EEpling89
    EEpling89 Posts: 152
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    Oh, and I have another one! To the kid who called me "oversize load" in school...I always have (and still do) think of how you hurt me EVERY TIME I see an oversize load truck coming down the road. However, now I think of how I make your monthly salary in a day and how your baby mama isn't so hot now. Karma comes back around.
  • jennifer52484
    jennifer52484 Posts: 888 Member
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    Dear Everyone who didn't think I could ever be in a fitness bodybuilding competition.

    Guess what...
    <<<< Go ahead, what else do you think I CAN'T do...
  • angieleighbyrd
    angieleighbyrd Posts: 989 Member
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    Dear Dr. Oz.....

    where do I begin?


    Quack
  • lilRicki
    lilRicki Posts: 4,555 Member
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    Dear Dr. Oz.....

    where do I begin?


    Quack

    yep, and Dr. Phil...they're ruining society
  • dsjohndrow
    dsjohndrow Posts: 1,820 Member
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    I got here without using heroin or coke. Am I cool yet?

    Brilliant!
  • BeingAwesome247
    BeingAwesome247 Posts: 1,171 Member
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    Love These!

    Dear Obese Family Members,

    NO you haven't seen me in a while
    NO you won't be seeing me until the next major holiday
    NO I won't be FAT AGAIN
    YES I am moving 50miles away

    Thanks for not supporting my life style changes that included quitting smoking.
    Thanks for making remarks that I'll be fat like you someday too
    Thanks for saying that if I can't handle quitting smoking w/o side effects, maybe I shouldn't quit
    Thanks for telling me I'll gain all my weight back

    FYI: I did gain 10lbs when I quit smoking. Why? I snacked too much. I've now lost 8 of those 10lbs so how do ya like that?!
    I'm back on track and feeling better than ever. I made it through the withdrawals and going on 4mos smoke free. I work out daily and YES it is an effing priority. Working out does not hinder my ability to be a good mother, it makes it easier for me to be a good mother. I'm setting a good example for my daughter and any frustrations I might have can get released in a positive manner. I refuse to become an obese, chain smoker like some of you complaining about your MULTIPLE health issues.
    I still love you all, but I don't like you all that well and am happier with limited contact.
  • TubbsMcGee
    TubbsMcGee Posts: 1,058 Member
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    Love These!

    Dear Obese Family Members,

    NO you haven't seen me in a while
    NO you won't be seeing me until the next major holiday
    NO I won't be FAT AGAIN
    YES I am moving 50miles away

    Thanks for not supporting my life style changes that included quitting smoking.
    Thanks for making remarks that I'll be fat like you someday too
    Thanks for saying that if I can't handle quitting smoking w/o side effects, maybe I shouldn't quit
    Thanks for telling me I'll gain all my weight back

    FYI: I did gain 10lbs when I quit smoking. Why? I snacked too much. I've now lost 8 of those 10lbs so how do ya like that?!
    I'm back on track and feeling better than ever. I made it through the withdrawals and going on 4mos smoke free. I work out daily and YES it is an effing priority. Working out does not hinder my ability to be a good mother, it makes it easier for me to be a good mother. I'm setting a good example for my daughter and any frustrations I might have can get released in a positive manner. I refuse to become an obese, chain smoker like some of you complaining about your MULTIPLE health issues.
    I still love you all, but I don't like you all that well and am happier with limited contact.

    LOVE!!!!!!!!!!

    Stick it to them!
  • beebee0925
    beebee0925 Posts: 472 Member
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    Bump!!!

    I'm sure I got teased too but they obviously weren't worth me spending my energy and my precious brain cells thinking about them. Loving this topic.

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