Non supportive friends

Dealing with food pushers is something we have to learn when we adopt this lifestyle...We all deal with it differently..I lost 15% of my BW years ago and many "friends" tried to sabotage my program..STICK with your guns...you may find that being firm and laying it on the line about your determination will win the day in the long run..Nobody offers me a dessert at their home any more..I spoiled too many by taking one bite and leaving the rest on the plate...

Stay strong..

I've become great at saying no.

I think in an odd way they think they are saying the right things to you by providing you some excuses. Are these bigger friends? I hate to ask that, but they are probably comfortable with the relationship you've had with them in the past and if you start to buckle down and get serious about eating healthy and being healthy and leave them in the dust you make them uncomfortable about themselves... that's on them, not you.
I try to not make a big deal out of it, but stick to my guns knowing what I want for me. I plan ahead or politely make alternate arrangements. Like I go somewhere and they say they have ordered pizzas to watch the game I'll say I'm not in the mood for pizza and order something healthy from someplace else or quick run out to grab a healthy option for me and try not to say any more about it. Not emphasize that I can't eat that or I'm trying to cut back on pizza/fatty food... then they feel like you are judging their choice as bad or unhealthy (which it is), but to maintain the friendship and stop the comments I downplay as much as possible and just do my own thing.
As sad as it may be, some people may not be so happy when you start to lose weight, they may tell you they are, but you're success emphasizes their insecurities/laziness/unhealthy habits or whatever other struggles they have going on within themselves. If they are real friends they will be genuine and stay your friends.

Honestly, I don't tell people I'm losing weight. If people offer my things, I just say, no thanks and I'm good.

I've become great at saying no.

I honestly agree, I really need to start today saying no.

BUMP

Read this...

http://www.myfitnesspal.com/blog/Just_Dot?month=201111

We eat out almost everyday, on the way to the restuarant I pull up mfp on my iphone and look at that restuarant to see what they
have that I can eat. Or if we decide where we are going before we leave home I just look it up before we leave. If all else fails you
can always order salad with no cheese and no crouton and light dressing on the side and either a small steak or grilled chicken breast. That way you are eating out with them and still staying legal. I go to chinese all the time, I love crab angles I order these off the appitizer and can eat the whole serving, you will be surprised how few calories they have. I always leave the most calories for
the evening that way I can enjoy dinner with my family without any hassle. Good luck with the sabatoges and stay strong. We have
an old saying in the South. Don't let the turkeys bring you down. Best of luck with your journey

First I gave birth to 6 kids and you can see what I look like in my avatar

Second, stick up for yourself. Remember you are the one changing, they are not.They do not understand and they don't have to.

No one can sabotage you, but you.
If you really want it bad enough, the only support you need is your own desire to change.
While it's definitely a harder road to travel solo, I'm proof it can be done.
When you're truly ready to commit, the lack of support will be a welcome challenge, not an obstacle. :flowerforyou:

We're ALL soaking in diet culture, even those of us who aren't dieting or trying to lose weight. Everything in the media says we're supposed to feel guilt if we indulge, and your friends are probably reacting to that guilt. I would say that their efforts to get you to eat unhealthy things aren't about trying to hurt you or sabotage your efforts, but they're a form of self-defense. They want to eat something and not feel guilty about it, which is understandable, and having somebody in front of them saying essentially "oh no that's so unhealthy I can't even eat a little of it!" is probably making them feel guilty for wanting it themselves.

If this is the case, I'd say the best way to deal with it is to avoid the situation as much as possible. Don't mention the healthiness of whatever it is or say you can't eat it, but go with other tactics as much as possible. Suggest other options without bringing up the relative healthiness of the food, like "omg I've been craving (insert restaurant with healthy options here) for days, can we do that?" Just say "no thanks, I'm good" without further explanation if you don't want to eat something. Or simply hang out with them in more non-food-related ways.

It's not like your friends are being deliberately mean (and if they are, why are they your friends??) so a little care on your part may go a long way in preserving the friendships. Keep in mind that this is a new thing for you, so they are maybe a little unsure about the changes in your behavior and attitude and how that will translate into your relationship with them. Some people DO start eating healthy and losing weight and then start subtly criticizing or judging the people around them for not doing the same, and that's probably what they're afraid of. After you go for a while and they realize that though you may be losing weight, you're still not judging them and their choices, the problem likely will go away.

My husband is addicted to my utmost favorite candy reeses peanut butter cups and they are everywhere haunting me..... My oldest daughter who is in college and lives at home survives on junk food alone (one of these days I am gonna weigh less than her and she might see the light), On a daily basis she brings home a different fast food, or pizza or stromboli mind you she eats the same thing as her boyfriend who has excellent metabolism and stands 6 foot 5 where as she stands a little under 5 foot and it shows. mind you I have instilled excellent self confidence in her so she doesn't see that... My will power is on constant high alert..... Sometimes i just have to leave and go sit on my porch with a book or go visit a neighbor as my will power is waning.....

You're going to have to be your own motivation. You either want to or you don't. Your friends are big and content to be where they are for right now. I'm not saying to stop asking them or encouraging them to get healthier but you didn't start down this road until you chose to. They aren't going to do it until they choose to. Sit down and think of reasons to counteract their arguments. You have 4 kids, I have five. My excuse to work out and eat right is so that I can keep up with them and be a positive influence in their eating habits. Right now, I lift because it's a huge stress relief. There is no reason to let them hold you back. When you let them know that you are a priority in your life they'll get used to it even if they don't whole heartedly support you. There is someone in my life right now that gets their digs in when they can because the weight hasn't just melted off and all that walking and lifting I'm doing is a waste of time. They don't see the changes I see and that's ok. With the exception of some encouragement from my husband, the people on my friends list are my support system and my inspiration. It's kind of sad that I can't get the same support "in real life" that I get from "strangers" on the internet but I took what I could get and I wouldn't change it for the world. The best advice I can give you is "do it anyway". "They" will get on board with you or they won't but you'll be better off either way.