Online dating NO Thanks but what are options today

Options
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Replies

  • pa_jorg
    pa_jorg Posts: 4,404 Member
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    The best approach would be to meet people doing your everyday activities, but that seems difficult these days. I would suggest that you keep your eyes open in other online (non-dating sites) venues like MFP or Meetup.com perhaps? Find people to become friends with and go from there...

    Also, the pay sites like Match and Eharmony are no better than the free sites and you are just out $.
  • spitfire1962
    spitfire1962 Posts: 347 Member
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    I'm met some nice men on POF. I work so many hours that I like to come home and rest when I get off shift. I also don't do the bar scene. You just have to build up your confidence. You said that you would wait to go to Zumba until you get to your goal weight. Guess what, women don't care if a man is packing a little weight around the waist. Just believe in yourself and what you have to offer. You will come across very well and women will be attracted to you. The only thing stopping you is you. Now get out there and start smiling and you will see the changes that will start to happen in your life.
  • khskr1
    khskr1 Posts: 392
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    Depends how much time you have to devote to going to other places/activities to meet people. I was working full time and finishing grad school a few years back so time was limited. I met my husband on match. 7 years later here we are. :) BUT...I did go on a lot of first dates and met a lot of cool people. Some of my favorite bands are due to one date wonders. You just have to approach it from a 'I want to meet people' perspective.

    Other than that, look online for classes/events/activies to attend. Good luck!
  • cuddyfanone
    cuddyfanone Posts: 4
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    Hi. Here's what I did and I think it might help you, too. I suggest, as someone who has been where you are, that you forget that stigma about "the bar scene". I understand that that conjures up in one's mind a pickup potential, somewhere that people go to "get some action". It doesn't have to be like that. I am not into that kind of thing, believe me. But if you choose the more upscale places to go, with the intention in mind of having a beer or a glass of wine and just hanging out there with some buddies to watch the game, have a drink, share some laughs and just have some fun and dance a little bit, you are attractive to the ladies, you are attracted TO some ladies hopefully, and to bottom line it, you've had some fun with your friends and will have felt at the very least, a little bit social. Don't go there hoping to meet someone (well, maybe a little bit) but just go have fun. I've done that and loved it because the music is generally awesome in some of these places and I am told a lot that I'm attractive in part because I'm "so much fun". My friends who go to meet someone and are so obvious about it look ridiculous. Just relax, cut a rug and have a beer.

    As for the online dating, run away from that as fast and as far as you can. I have also done that and it's a potential horror show. I wish you happiness.
  • AshlyRamos
    AshlyRamos Posts: 76 Member
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    If I were YOU I would go to a zumba class. That is, from what I can tell, where all the ladies go lately lol

    ah zumba...i guess that would be a shot once i reach my goal weight i might have the confidence to do just that

    Why wait until you get to goal weight???? If you go to the Zumba class you will be meeting women whose values for fitness will match yours. You can build relationships starting as friends and supporting each other to get to your goals. Frankly, for me, I can't think of who I would have as a better partner than that!

    This is a great suggestion! You don't have to be on the search for a partner, start looking for friends first.
  • Topsking2010
    Topsking2010 Posts: 2,245 Member
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    I'm sorry but you need to man up and go after what you want in life!! If you are looking to date, learn to approach women in a respectful manner by just saying hello. There are tons of single women available but I am old school and believe the man should make the first move.

    Us guys spend so much time focusing on getting women in the bedroom instead of treating her like a real person.

    Top
  • relly1008
    relly1008 Posts: 175 Member
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    I met my hubby on match.com, 3 years together!!!
  • cuddyfanone
    cuddyfanone Posts: 4
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    Just gotta know...what's MFP?
  • AlabasterJar68
    AlabasterJar68 Posts: 121
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    I met my husband in a christian chat room. I wasn't looking to meet anyone after going through a divorce, but just to chat with other people. After a year, we met in person and grew very close. We had a long distance relationship for almost 3 years until he asked me to marry him. 10 years later we are still together. Whenever anyone asks how did the two of us meet, I start to laugh because online would have been the last place I would have ever imagined. I wish you well. :happy:
  • KLK1986
    KLK1986 Posts: 89
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    Can you try eharmony when they have their 'free communication weekend' promo that they do every few months?

    I paid for Match.com and I feel it was well worth it - but then again, I met my fiance on there!
  • cuddyfanone
    cuddyfanone Posts: 4
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    Yes, go to the damn Zumba class, whatever that is. Just go and have some fun, the rest will fall into place! :blushing:
  • bigdal77
    bigdal77 Posts: 69
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    i'm in the same boat as well i have no ideal how to meet new people it's been for ever since i meet someone new.
    i always let my weight stop me but now iv'e started to turn my life around i would like to meet someone :blushing:
  • Elizabeth_C34
    Elizabeth_C34 Posts: 6,376 Member
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    Just gotta know...what's MFP?

    MyFitnessPal
  • focus4fitness
    focus4fitness Posts: 551 Member
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    If I were YOU I would go to a zumba class. That is, from what I can tell, where all the ladies go lately lol

    ah zumba...i guess that would be a shot once i reach my goal weight i might have the confidence to do just that

    Why wait until you get to goal weight???? If you go to the Zumba class you will be meeting women whose values for fitness will match yours. You can build relationships starting as friends and supporting each other to get to your goals. Frankly, for me, I can't think of who I would have as a better partner than that!

    This is a great suggestion! You don't have to be on the search for a partner, start looking for friends first.



    ITA

    And waiting for a "goal weight" is a terrible thing to do to yourself. You need to be just simply open to the idea of finding someone, if you completely lock it down and reject the idea of meeting someone because of a number on a scale you're not doing yourself any favors. Your worth as a person is not in a number.
  • EmilyTwist1
    EmilyTwist1 Posts: 206 Member
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    Join some organizations. Clubs, religious communities, neighborhood watch, etc. Do things that interest you with other people and get involved with your community. You may not get a girlfriend right away, but you'll definitely develop a social network (not the facebook kind), and that's a good thing.

    You might also want to try joining online communities related to your interests.
  • aprilgrl27
    aprilgrl27 Posts: 176 Member
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    I'm sorry but you need to man up and go after what you want in life!! If you are looking to date, learn to approach women in a respectful manner by just saying hello. There are tons of single women available but I am old school and believe the man should make the first move.

    Us guys spend so much time focusing on getting women in the bedroom instead of treating her like a real person.

    Top

    Yes! Guys never just say hello anymore. Women aren't going to think you are a creep if you just say hello. Or really anything that doesn't have to do with her breasts in the first moment you meet her! I wish guys were more ....dare I say it....aggressive and manly these days!
  • Debbe2
    Debbe2 Posts: 2,071 Member
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    I've been married a long time and not experienced at meeting up for many years now. However I can share that we have many, many happily married friends who met on dating sites. I've learned that it is an acceptable intro for a relationship but in the end it's about rapport, friendship and attraction. Good luck to you in finding companionship :smile:
  • futbolkt21
    futbolkt21 Posts: 57
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    Check out meetup.com . It's not a dating website at all. Find meet ups in your area that interest you--it's a GREAT way to meet people that you have something in common with. I have been a member of a hiking meet up group for about 2 years now. I have made some wonderful friends through this...meet up saved my social life haha! Anyway, no guarantee that you'll meet someone to date, but you never know! It's been known to happen :-) At the very least you'll end up making some great new friends.
  • SMJ1987
    SMJ1987 Posts: 368
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    If I were YOU I would go to a zumba class. That is, from what I can tell, where all the ladies go lately lol

    ah zumba...i guess that would be a shot once i reach my goal weight i might have the confidence to do just that

    guy here. I go 3x a week. 6'3 300+ lbs. been going for over a year now. sure there's probably people pointing at laughing at me but I can't hear them over the sound of how awesome I am. the ratio is nice too. 20-30 girls in the class for 1 guy usually. just like MFP.......well MFP is more like 1000:1 >.>

    Cute. That's a great attitude...we would totally bust a move if you came to my Zumba class!
  • kmh0617
    kmh0617 Posts: 51 Member
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    I know you said you're not interesed in sites like Match.com or eHarmony.com. BUT, I met my husband on Match. We were dating seriously within a month (I paid for ONE MONTH of Match.com), engaged in 2 months. Next weekend we will celebrate our 6 year wedding anniversary!

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