I need a hug and some advice

Big Hug...
You....deserve...better...move on, treat yourself as you would your best friend. You owe it to yourself..

Ok its this that irritates me. I see you and others have said this. First of all you dont know either of them so you cant judge. This is the generic lazy that implies he is a jerk. Have more respect, this guy is her best friend and she loves him. There are always two sides of the story. You dont know the whole story. Just saying this. Women dont always deserve better just because they are a woman. Woman deserve good things because of how they treat others, whats in their heart, and are smart enough to stay away from bad boys.

Sorry about that. Its obvious that you both have done and said things to make this a very complicated situation. It seems you care about him and he means the world to you but this is the thing. People who care about each other cant have sex without feelings getting involved over time. What you need to do is have a heart to mind conversation with yourself and with him. No one on here is going to be able to have the answer for you because we dont know the whole true story. Im sure there are many variables to why you both have been on and off again and only you two know the answers. Talk to him, if you cant then you wont get anywhere.

Stop touching his willie for now. if all you want is friendship and you decide you want more or just focus on friendship then you are going to have to talk to him. You have to. His willie will want to say hi but dont you touch him. Talk and talk and get it out in the open. The whole saftey net thing is a logical way of thinking if two people are just having sex with no commitment so I do see why he would say that but in your case it could be that you both were/are scared to move on or maybe there is a reason why you both stayed around.

People need to learn that being best friends is awesome and needed for a great relationship. Thats whats wrong with today, people dont even like the person they are dating and are not friends. You both are already best friends, now you just need to it down and not be scared and talk about how you both feel. You wont be able to predict the future and never will have a contract but if you two decide that you both owe it to each other and try to date then go with the flow, no pressure, no talking about the future, just enjoy each other and let it build.

He has feelings for you two, if he didnt then he wouldnt have been in your life for so long. DOnt listen to many other women by making you think he is bad or not good enough for you, their answer is to always move on and then they wonder why marriage ends in divorce. Its normal for people to be confused or not know what they want, it doesnt make them a bad person. Sometimes the best answer is not to move on. You have a deep friendship and a desire, thats more than most marriages these days. Dont give up, just talk to him and leave his willie alone until you both have truely talked about things. You seem like an amazing person who is nice. I wish you luck and hope that you get all your answers.

Im sorry for your situation. It sucks. People saying i told you so and judging should have more respect. You are already hurt and dont need disrespect. There is nothing wrong with wanting to be with someone you care about and its human to be physical with them also. They need to stop, they are not perfect. Actually there are many on here that def shouldnt be giving advice.

Maybe he just doesnt want to hurt you or is confused. You just need to talk to him. Just because someone says something doesnt mean its what they truely wants. I have experience this kinda before. I tried to set someone free once because I was confused and didnt want to hold them back. I felt like I wasnt going to make them happy. We talked about it and reliezed that there was too much there to let go. Maybe its the love will set you free thing or maybe its just there isnt anything there but either way you both owe it to each other to talk and in my opinion unlike others here, I think you both should go for it.

If you love him, I dont believe in giving up on love and fight for what I want. I dont believe in giving up on someone who is your best friend that is more just to start over dating new people who want to play games. Hang in there and keep your head up. Hope only works with action so go get him.

I would have rather you seen his eyes and honeslty, you both have alot to talk about and owe it too each other. You two have spent too much time together just to end it with a text. If that is his answer then you need to respect that I guess and distance himself from him. Im not saying move on to play with other willies like other women but I think you should take time for you and just be free and focus on you and enjoy it. If he starts texting I miss you and I wanna see you which prolly will happen will make things hard for you so you two need to set boundaries and rules and repsect them and that def should be one of them. There is nothing wrong with saying those things but too many people say it when they are lonely.

Sounds like a Joan Jett situation "Hate Myself for Loving You"....

Runs to iTunes to download this immediately :drinker:

:flowerforyou:

It is okay to cry your eyes out. At some point it is better for you to let go if this relationship is truly not going anywhere. For women sleeping with men there is a huge risk to take because we are programmed through our chemical responses to fall in love with someone we are sleeping with on a consistent basis (this is a general statement cheaters and whatnot aside). My advice for any woman who is single is to read a book called "have the relationship you want." It was a great book and taught me about myself and how to be confident and self assured.

1. I closed the door on my previous relationship that was not going anywhere and actually kept me in chains for 3 years even though I couldn't see it at the time.
2. I BALLED my eyes out and okay I prayed to God to help me through it.
3. I read the book.
4. I was feeling angry and just needed to let loose for a night. I went to Karaoke with my stepsister and Voila, the met the man of my dreams.

I know it sounds stupid that I attribute finding my guy because of the book, but I realized all the mistakes I was making and the bad vibes I was sending out and that stuff. And I found this book because it was advertised on facebook (haha!). It was an e-book and you can go to the website they have and just get the free newsletter if you would like. Rori Raye - havetherelationshipyouwant.

Everything will be okay. Big HUGS!

Just a little more advice, if you read my other post, the reason why I was in chains for 3 years is because I held onto someone as friends without the intimacy. They were my own chains. I believe in you. I believe you can let this person go completely. The band-aide effect ~ rip it off completely, it might hurt less than going piece by piece.

I believe in you. Hugs.