Question for everyone who just settles.

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  • CharisSunny
    CharisSunny Posts: 276 Member
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    So before I let my lesser self call the OP an *kitten* and blow up I'm gonna just say this:

    Live and let live.
    It is nobodys place to deem someone as "settling" or "mediocre."
    We came here with a goal whether we know it or not but we all damn sure will know it in the mirror, on blood test results or a number on the tag of some no stretch jeans. Ye? So buzz off and be happy. :flowerforyou:

    My $0.02. :drinker:
  • MalissaDC
    MalissaDC Posts: 123
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    I think it's an excellent point to mull over in one's own mind. I can't say who is settling though when I look around at friends or others because I really don't know if they are settling.

    I wonder if some people appear to be settling because they've already accomplished so much. For myself, my life is completely changed now. I still have a fair amount of weight to lose and I am working on it, but I'm also at a point where I have my life back. I am able to do things I couldn't do before so maybe some people had a goal of just getting where they could participate in their life again. For them, being a higher weight than someone else finds acceptable, may be what their goal was so they aren't settling ;).
  • mfpcopine
    mfpcopine Posts: 3,093 Member
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    So before I let my lesser self call the OP an *kitten* and blow up I'm gonna just say this:

    Live and let live.
    It is nobodys place to deem someone as "settling" or "mediocre."
    We came here with a goal whether we know it or not but we all damn sure will know it in the mirror, on blood test results or a number on the tag of some no stretch jeans. Ye? So buzz off and be happy. :flowerforyou:

    My $0.02. :drinker:

    The purpose of discussion groups is to find out what other people think. There was nothing inherently offensive in what the OP asked. Of course you have to decide what's right for you, but it's naive to act as though there are no standards, no criteria for judgment, whether or not we like them. Now if we think they're systematically unfair, then we can fight to change them.

    Personally, I have problems of my own, and I'm around many examples of people who aren't doing anything despite an obvious need. They're nowhere even near "settling," they haven't started. As long as it doesn't affect me.
  • CharisSunny
    CharisSunny Posts: 276 Member
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    So before I let my lesser self call the OP an *kitten* and blow up I'm gonna just say this:

    Live and let live.
    It is nobodys place to deem someone as "settling" or "mediocre."
    We came here with a goal whether we know it or not but we all damn sure will know it in the mirror, on blood test results or a number on the tag of some no stretch jeans. Ye? So buzz off and be happy. :flowerforyou:

    My $0.02. :drinker:

    The purpose of discussion groups is to find out what other people think. There was nothing inherently offensive in what the OP asked. Of course you have to decide what's right for you, but it's naive to act as though there are no standards, no criteria for judgment, whether or not we like them. Now if we think they're systematically unfair, then we can fight to change them.

    Its a matter of perception, and I'm here to take what I can and give what I can in a common-minded community, not engage in e-battles or reforms.

    Again live and let live.
  • victoria4321
    victoria4321 Posts: 1,719 Member
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    So before I let my lesser self call the OP an *kitten* and blow up I'm gonna just say this:

    Live and let live.
    It is nobodys place to deem someone as "settling" or "mediocre."
    We came here with a goal whether we know it or not but we all damn sure will know it in the mirror, on blood test results or a number on the tag of some no stretch jeans. Ye? So buzz off and be happy. :flowerforyou:

    My $0.02. :drinker:

    Clearly you're not too happy with you own goals to get this defensive. Maybe re-evaluate your life and find out why you're so content with being average or sub-par :flowerforyou:


    Like I said originally, I don't know anyones definition of settling. It's defined in their own mind. I'm curious as to why people don't push to make themselves better for themselves, not for anyone else. If you know in your heart you can be better then why not try and see where it takes you.
  • DavPul
    DavPul Posts: 61,406 Member
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    Because not trying and not caring is easier? Plus how do we decide what constitutes "settling" for someone else?
  • Darkskinned88
    Darkskinned88 Posts: 1,177 Member
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    I've been thinking about this alot lately. At 300 i thought if i got just to 220 i'd be fine but now as i'm nearly halfway home i think i can do better. I think when i get to my goal i might pat myself on the back and set a new goal
  • CharisSunny
    CharisSunny Posts: 276 Member
    Options
    So before I let my lesser self call the OP an *kitten* and blow up I'm gonna just say this:

    Live and let live.
    It is nobodys place to deem someone as "settling" or "mediocre."
    We came here with a goal whether we know it or not but we all damn sure will know it in the mirror, on blood test results or a number on the tag of some no stretch jeans. Ye? So buzz off and be happy. :flowerforyou:

    My $0.02. :drinker:

    Clearly you're not too happy with you own goals to get this defensive. Maybe re-evaluate your life and find out why you're so content with being average or sub-par :flowerforyou:


    Like I said originally, I don't know anyones definition of settling. It's defined in their own mind. I'm curious as to why people don't push to make themselves better for themselves, not for anyone else. If you know in your heart you can be better then why not try and see where it takes you.

    I'm happy with my gaols because I've set them for myself and can adjust them as such.
    And you don't know enough of anyone to play life coach, or at least nothing of me lol
    Why so determined to e-influence?

    Anyhoo, good luck!
  • EmmaM2211
    EmmaM2211 Posts: 536 Member
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    I agree with a lot of these, getting fit and losing weight takes time and effort. For me I decided Uni then finding a job were more important. I decided at uni I would do exactly what I wanted and not worry because it's only 3 years and most people only do it once. It was more about the experience than getting into shape. Then I got a job and moved 200miles from home where I didnt know anyone, was stressful and learning the ropes at my new job were more important to me.

    Now I'm settled where I live and with my job I can give 100% of my time into losing weight, I always knew I would do it it was just a matter of when the time was right.

    I think you need to get to the point of being obsessed about it to actually make a difference which I'm happy to say I'm totally obsessed now! I couldnt and wouldnt have wanted to get to this point of obsession whilst at Uni then regret it in later life.

    xx
  • HMVOL7409
    HMVOL7409 Posts: 1,588 Member
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    I will never settle for anything in life. I don't want to look back and wonder what if and I know that my body and mind are capable of so much. To be fair; I came from biological parents who settled with everything in life then turned around and regretted it and abandoned it. I refuse to be any part of what they were or how they felt. I have set many goals this year and every time I reach them I set new ones bc I'm more motivated. My marriage, my life doesn't suffer at all bc of it. It actually has enriched it. I am 32 and back in school finishing a degree I set out for 14 years ago. And not sure I'll stop there. If people are happy and content with where they are in life great! Nothing wrong with that bc in their eyes maybe they aren't settling. For myself I'm always going to wonder what can I do next.
  • victoria4321
    victoria4321 Posts: 1,719 Member
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    So before I let my lesser self call the OP an *kitten* and blow up I'm gonna just say this:

    Live and let live.
    It is nobodys place to deem someone as "settling" or "mediocre."
    We came here with a goal whether we know it or not but we all damn sure will know it in the mirror, on blood test results or a number on the tag of some no stretch jeans. Ye? So buzz off and be happy. :flowerforyou:

    My $0.02. :drinker:

    Clearly you're not too happy with you own goals to get this defensive. Maybe re-evaluate your life and find out why you're so content with being average or sub-par :flowerforyou:


    Like I said originally, I don't know anyones definition of settling. It's defined in their own mind. I'm curious as to why people don't push to make themselves better for themselves, not for anyone else. If you know in your heart you can be better then why not try and see where it takes you.

    I'm happy with my gaols because I've set them for myself and can adjust them as such.
    And you don't know enough of anyone to play life coach, or at least nothing of me lol
    Why so determined to e-influence?

    Anyhoo, good luck!

    I asked a question because I like to understand other people. I didn't tell you what to do nor do I care to influence strangers on the internet. I'm too self centered to try and influence a bunch of randoms of course.

    If your so happy then why is this even an issue? Just skip along on your happy merry way. If you have nothing useful to contribute aside from your self defense to an invisible e-attack then keep it moving.
  • lyttlewon
    lyttlewon Posts: 1,118 Member
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    I have been overweight now for years. It is no longer shocking to me, it just is what I am. I don't hate myself for being overweight, I am pretty aware that it doesn't change my likability to other people in any way. My husband loves me, my kids love me, I love me.

    I will have a burst of time where I will work on my body and then it will slip by me again. I lost a ton of weight after my daughter was born and then it came back when I had my son etc etc.

    In some ways the gratification of the way I was living was worth the weight. I wasn't "settling", I was consciously deciding I would rather be fat than change my lifestyle. Truth is, being fat is easier. I would rather eat a burger and sit on my butt watching TV than work out. I was perfectly happy doing that every day.

    I am 33 now and starting to see where it is impacting my health, being overweight, so it is obvious to me that I need to do something about it. I need to remind myself EVERY DAY in 10 years when my body is well into falling apart because of how I have been contentedly abusing it I will regret not doing something about it now. Both my parents have high cholesterol and high blood pressure because they didn't take care of it when they could. I need to not allow myself to be that person.
  • jillian769
    jillian769 Posts: 247 Member
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    Personally for me, my goals keep changing. First I wanted to just be under 200 (I was over 250) Then when I got into the 190's I didn't like that and same with the 80's, 70's, and now 60's...LOL. I have decided I want to look as good and fit as I possibly can. I take zumba, strength class, turbo kick, lift at the gym, treadmill, stair climber, you name it. My next goal is to be in the low 150's, I think at least right now that I will be happy with that. I also want to have a balance. I feel like for the last 15 months I pretty much have lived and died by my diet and exercising and I would like to incorporate some more cheat days, and possibly an exercise rest day every few weeks. I exercise every. single. day. My end goal is to be healthy, look fit, and be able to live a little by eating some bad foods occasionally and having a few drinks, which I could really use right now because my life is very stressful these days.:tongue:
  • jdenson69
    jdenson69 Posts: 10
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    Lol..you was honest
  • crzyone
    crzyone Posts: 872 Member
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    I like food and eating with friends and family without having to eat something "different." I want to lose some weight, but I don't want to be size three.......just not my goal.

    What may be "settling" for one person may not be "settling" for another person. It may be our choice of what is important in life. We are all different.....

    But, I understand the question. I ask myself the same kind of thing in other areas of life.Why do people settled for living together, or having babies without being married, or living on welfare, or getting drunk and not remembering what they did the night before, or dropping out of school/college, or driving fast and getting tickets, or....or...or...or...or..or......

    Again, it's a case of different people with different priorities.
  • TavistockToad
    TavistockToad Posts: 35,719 Member
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    It's so much easier to settle... Whether you're talking about your weight, or job or relationship, whatever, it's just so much easier!

    For the record i am not one to settle, but I an see why people do.
  • BlowYourMind
    BlowYourMind Posts: 162
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    That thought is good when you are losing weight, but it could be a potential problem for those who have EDs.
  • noirnatural
    noirnatural Posts: 310 Member
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    I agree with the others - priorities.

    A lot of people ask me why I don't try and lose more weight. I am at the high end of for ideal weight for my height. My answer? I'm happy here. I wanted to get that weight off to insure that I didn't follow on the same health path as my family members. After losing the weight, I've had medical tests done and they've determined that I am in excellent health. That my heart (a big issue in my family) is in excellent condition and does not show any of the early warning signs for the diseases and ailments that plague my family.

    Now, I want to live life. I don't want to spend all my time at the gym. I do not want to agonize over every bite I put in my mouth. I do not want to have to evaluate every single calorie that I may consume.

    Perhaps to some people it may appear that I am lazy or settling, but I do not feel that way. I am happy and content where I am and whether or not it pleases someone else is irrelevant to me. Could I be thinner? Sure. Could I be stronger? Of course. Could I be this or that? Probably, but those things aren't important or a priority to me.

    We all have our own goals, wishes and desires.. If you achieve yours or are happy with yourself, is it really settling simply because someone else thinks you should be thinner, stronger, etc?

    I don't think so.

    You just said yourself that you think you could be all those things so its not settling because of what someone else thinks, you're settling to yourself because you're just content at that point. Nothing wrong with it either I think if it just not important to you. My question isn't about fitting into other peoples ideals. It's pushing yourself towards your own goals, ideals, maximum achievements really.

    Some people know they can do better but they just don't feel like it. This can apply to anything really, not just health related issues.

    But, if I am happy and content here -- how am I settling? That's my question. If you are happy with yourself, content with who you are and where you are... you aren't settling.

    Settling is saying to yourself "I wish I weighed 130lbs, but I don't" and then not doing anything about it. Settling is accepting less than YOU want yourself to be.

    I don't want to be anything else. So, I'm not settling in MY mind. I may be "settling" in someone else's mind, but not in my own.

    If I'm happy with me and my life, there's no settling involved here.

    I have to agree, if you are happy with you , then there is no settling involved.
    I think the biggest thing is reaching your own goals
  • cocolo89
    cocolo89 Posts: 1,171 Member
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    I know what you mean. My original goal was just to get back to prebaby weight cause I thought that would make me happy, once I got there I knew I could do more. Than I set a goal to get to 140, reached that goal and wanted more. Ofcourse I set my 130-135 and said that would be my perfect weight. Well guess what, I was still not happy. Hit my UG of 125, I actually went down to 122. Now I am just trying to stay close to 125ish and see how things go. :))
  • cocolo89
    cocolo89 Posts: 1,171 Member
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    I like food and eating with friends and family without having to eat something "different." I want to lose some weight, but I don't want to be size three.......just not my goal.

    What may be "settling" for one person may not be "settling" for another person. It may be our choice of what is important in life. We are all different.....

    But, I understand the question. I ask myself the same kind of thing in other areas of life.Why do people settled for living together, or having babies without being married, or living on welfare, or getting drunk and not remembering what they did the night before, or dropping out of school/college, or driving fast and getting tickets, or....or...or...or...or..or......

    Again, it's a case of different people with different priorities.

    just a question, whats wrong with being a size 3? I am a size 3 and I am the happiest person ever. I wasn't happy as a 14, I looked like crap and extremely unhealthy. I LOVE food, but I also want to live longer and see my kids grow.

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