Life/Work/Kids/DH V exercise

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  • ladylemoncurd
    ladylemoncurd Posts: 72
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    He's not babysitting some kids you know - they're his too! I know all about the guilt though and next time he chucks it back in your face I'd tell him to jog on. Seriously. All that passive aggressive nonsense has no place in a healthy marriage but I do understand how you forget who you are when you have kids. Confidence goes along with your figure sometimes. It's important though that you are healthy and the more you do it, the more used to it he will get and the more able you will be to ignore any silly comments from him.

    Its your time, to be you. Don't let anyone spoil that.
  • chowells78
    chowells78 Posts: 17
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    How old are the children? would you be able to get them into exercise too? things you can do as a family like walking, hiking, swimming, tennis etc.
  • Cleo200
    Cleo200 Posts: 62 Member
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    Hey,

    I'm in the same boat as you except my OH thinks I do "nothing" all day (We have a 14 year old, 3 year Old and 16 month old)

    I only go to the gym where he is left with the kids (they are already settled and in bed by 7) one eve a week, the other 2 days I tend to leave the kids in the gym creche for an hour, or take the buggy with the youngest for a 8-10k walk during his nap time,and he still complains!

    I think men quite simply are much less complex than us females, give them an extra bit of attention and love and they wont feel that youre abandoning them for your "obsession" with the gym. (well its supposedly an "obsession" for me anyway!)

    Ive sent you a friend request, mainly as I see you're a fellow Paddy but also because we both have busy family lives and likely have the same daily stresses and we can hopefully offer each other support on our journey to health!!

    Take care

    Cliodhna :)
  • Teresava77
    Teresava77 Posts: 43 Member
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    Hi,

    I'm a single mum of 4 and have also been through the blackmail from my ex over babysitting when we were together. If you can involve him and the kids a bit more you might have a bit more wriggle room to not need to go out on the nights when it's hard to leave them. I'm not saying don't go out - far from it! It's good for you to have time alone, it makes you calmer and happier which is good for him and your children. Don't forget he benefits from you looking good and being healthy too. A few ideas that work for me:

    Cycle as a family, not sure how old your kids are - if they are little get bike seats. Make it a day out with a picnic on a sunday. Quality family time and you get your exercise.

    Hire a badminton or tennis court as a family. Even my 4 yr old loves this and has done for a couple of years. Spend some time teaching the kids and then sit them on the edge with a drink or snack and play with your partner or go with a friend and their kids. My leisure centre does cheap courts for families one night a week and during school hols.which is fab.

    Swimming. Go as a family and play together but give each other an agreed amount of time (depending on age and stamina of kids) to go and do lengths. you both get the same treatment and its family fun kids of all ages love.

    Dance with the kids at home all the time, fab workout and happy kids.

    Roller or ice skate with the kids. Most ice rinks have skates and push alongs for kids from about 2.

    Long walks in the countryside.

    Find a big indoor play centre and get in there with the kids.

    SEX!!!!!

    Errr - trampoline if you have the space? Now thats a big workout opportunity.

    Hope that gives you a couple of starting ideas - adapt them to suit your life and interests. If your partner isn't interested team up with another mum.

    Teresa
  • Teresava77
    Teresava77 Posts: 43 Member
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    Oh one more thought - do you get a lunch break you could use?
  • NoAdditives
    NoAdditives Posts: 4,251 Member
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    An hour and a half of exercising is probably too much. You don't need to spend that much time at the gym. It's likely that you're over-training.
  • fitpilatesqueen
    fitpilatesqueen Posts: 337
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    As I said above, I exercise mostly in the gym. My running is put on hold for a little while as I'm having glute muscle issues so I mostly go to the gym to do low impact cardio and my weights. Spin class also on a wednesday.

    Our 2 kids can wake at 6am and I feel gulty then leaving my DH to look after them at the weekend morning also. See.....more guilt??!!!!!!:laugh:
    Sorry to hear what you are going through.
    What about getting a babysitter and you and your husband go to the gym together? That way you would do something together it could strangthen your relationship....just an idea.
    Good luck, I hope you two can work things through.
  • 77tes
    77tes Posts: 8,024 Member
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    It doesn't sound like you are making excuses. You are ticking off the reasons why a suggestion won't work. I certainly didn't figure it out. I did ZERO exercise when my kids were little and still felt torn in a zillion directions. My daughter does a little running at home. She doesn't have a treadmill or anything; she just puts on her sneakers and jogs in front of a favorite DVD for 20 min, and she lives in a small apartment. Good luck figuring it out! Good for you for making this a priority!
  • wedjul05
    wedjul05 Posts: 472
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    How old are the children? would you be able to get them into exercise too? things you can do as a family like walking, hiking, swimming, tennis etc.

    The kids are 2+half and 3+half. We most certainly could get them more involved in sports, there is heaps more to do in our current neighbourhood than our old one. Another good reason why we had to move.
  • wedjul05
    wedjul05 Posts: 472
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    Oh one more thought - do you get a lunch break you could use?

    No, 30mins is it. Shame as I know alot of people workout during their lunch.
  • wedjul05
    wedjul05 Posts: 472
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    What about getting a babysitter and you and your husband go to the gym together? That way you would do something together it could strangthen your relationship....just an idea.

    My parents have started to take both kids on a sunday morning and give them lunch. So we have from say 9.30am-12/1pm to ourselves. We are going to start going to the gym together.
  • wedjul05
    wedjul05 Posts: 472
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    Thanks a million for the replies. It makes me feel better knowing that other people feel the same and know how torn we might feel trying to fit it all in.

    I'm sure myself and my DH will work things out over time.
  • carrieo888
    carrieo888 Posts: 233 Member
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    I know you like going to the gym, but a home gym doesn't need to take up any more space than a dresser drawer. I have resistence bands, a medicine ball, a couple of small dumbbells and a yoga mat. I also have various sized fit balls (so a little more room needed for those, or you let the air out, store them and inflate them when needed). I can do yoga exercises, modified Pilates exercises, all kinds of strength training with just those few pieces, without having to leave my house. If you have friends/neighbors with kids, maybe you can help each other take turns watching the kids. Then you and hubby can take a nice long walk together.

    For every problem, there is a solution. Don't waste energy on feeling guilty, don't place blame, just find the solution. Ask your DH to be part of finding the solution so he has buy-in.

    Good luck!

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