Am I being too controlling?
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AliciaBeth78
Posts: 437 Member
Please tell me if this is controlling or if I just seriously am over-reacting????
Today I met a friend of mine at the gym before we were going to go our separate ways and shower and meet back for lunch! I took a spin class while he walked on the treadmill.
Here was the convo after spin and when I walked up to him on the treadmill....
Friend: How was spin?
Me: Awesome, but I have about 30 more minutes of cardio to do for the week
F: I have about 12 so that will give me time to sit in the sauna and relax for a bit before we go to lunch.
M: Sounds good. I'm going to go out in the main cardio area because these small treadmills scare me. Wanna join me?
F: I have 12 minutes left
M: Ok.... I was just asking (this was said with a smile by the way!)
F: I was under the impression that we didn't control each others work outs.
M: I was actually just being polite, but that was really rude
That was when I walked off. During one of my "hey I can breathe for 30 second" intervals. I sent him a text saying "Dude seriously, I'm sorry I ASKED if you wanted to switch up where you were working out. I didn't realize ASKING a question was being controlling! I thought I was just being polite by not walking off in the middle of the gym!"
Needless to say, I haven't gotten any response.
Do you guys think that I was being controlling and should apologize or that he is just being really whiny and I just need to move on from this friendship????
Today I met a friend of mine at the gym before we were going to go our separate ways and shower and meet back for lunch! I took a spin class while he walked on the treadmill.
Here was the convo after spin and when I walked up to him on the treadmill....
Friend: How was spin?
Me: Awesome, but I have about 30 more minutes of cardio to do for the week
F: I have about 12 so that will give me time to sit in the sauna and relax for a bit before we go to lunch.
M: Sounds good. I'm going to go out in the main cardio area because these small treadmills scare me. Wanna join me?
F: I have 12 minutes left
M: Ok.... I was just asking (this was said with a smile by the way!)
F: I was under the impression that we didn't control each others work outs.
M: I was actually just being polite, but that was really rude
That was when I walked off. During one of my "hey I can breathe for 30 second" intervals. I sent him a text saying "Dude seriously, I'm sorry I ASKED if you wanted to switch up where you were working out. I didn't realize ASKING a question was being controlling! I thought I was just being polite by not walking off in the middle of the gym!"
Needless to say, I haven't gotten any response.
Do you guys think that I was being controlling and should apologize or that he is just being really whiny and I just need to move on from this friendship????
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Replies
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I think you guys are both being ridiculous. That was a silly thing for either of you to get upset about. Both of you need to grow up, apologize and get on with your friendship.0
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I thought we were fine.... I sent him another text and asked "What time are we meeting for lunch?" Obviously not, he deleted me from MFP, FB, and I haven't tried even calling yet0
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I think you guys are both being ridiculous. That was a silly thing for either of you to get upset about. Both of you need to grow up, apologize and get on with your friendship.
QFT0 -
I thought we were fine.... I sent him another text and asked "What time are we meeting for lunch?" Obviously not, he deleted me from MFP, FB, and I haven't tried even calling yet
Suppose that answers your question then. lol Maybe your friend has some maturing to do.0 -
Good point! Still wonder if I should apologize though....0
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You already did, right? Whether or not your friend ACCEPTS your apology is entirely up to him. If he doesn't accept it or even acknowledges it, then he just gonna have to miss out on your friendship.
Of course, not everybody can understand that approach. I only have one friend in my life that I know I can trust, that I KNOW is there for me... the rest, no matter how long I've known them (most I've known 10+ years), can be dropped without being missed by me. So if somebody decides to act stupid like that around me and decides to erase me from their lives, that's their choice and who am I to persuade them otherwise? If my friendship means *kitten* to them, then they just don't deserve to have me in their lives.
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I wouldn't.0
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You know what... you are completely right! F**K HIM! He doesn't deserve to be my friend and I do deserve to have people in my life that are actually worth a *kitten*!
Truthfully, even my boyfriend thinks he's beng a whiny b*tch and trust me, he TOTALLY tries to stay out of the gay boyfriend relationship haha
Thank you 0 -
You already did, right? Whether or not your friend ACCEPTS your apology is entirely up to him. If he doesn't accept it or even acknowledges it, then he just gonna have to miss out on your friendship.
Of course, not everybody can understand that approach. I only have one friend in my life that I know I can trust, that I KNOW is there for me... the rest, no matter how long I've known them (most I've known 10+ years), can be dropped without being missed by me. So if somebody decides to act stupid like that around me and decides to erase me from their lives, that's their choice and who am I to persuade them otherwise? If my friendship means *kitten* to them, then they just don't deserve to have me in their lives.
This0 -
You have nothing to apologize for in my opinion. Do not chase some one down to apologize, make amends within yourself and go on about your business. If he deleted you from MFP, FB and won't return texts...do not call! It makes youlook desperate for friends, which I am sure you are not.
Move on, it seems as though he has already unfortunately.0 -
I thought we were fine.... I sent him another text and asked "What time are we meeting for lunch?" Obviously not, he deleted me from MFP, FB, and I haven't tried even calling yet
thats the most ridiculous thing ive ever heard. how old is he ! i think he needs a time out.0 -
I thought we were fine.... I sent him another text and asked "What time are we meeting for lunch?" Obviously not, he deleted me from MFP, FB, and I haven't tried even calling yet
thats the most ridiculous thing ive ever heard. how old is he ! i think he needs a time out.
definately needs the naughty step... don 't call him he's probably changed his number0 -
I thought we were fine.... I sent him another text and asked "What time are we meeting for lunch?" Obviously not, he deleted me from MFP, FB, and I haven't tried even calling yet
thats the most ridiculous thing ive ever heard. how old is he ! i think he needs a time out.
LOL he's 390 -
Seems to me from your post, that you have apologized. Maybe your friend was going through an adrenaline rush or something, who knows. LOL I know I attend to come off as controlling and whenever I do my family sets me straight. No big deal, I am sure once he is left to himself, he can then gather his thoughts and the whole thing might be forgotten. If not, then you must move on. 0
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Sounds pretty silly. Also sounds like there is more to the story than we know about. Possibly on his end. Let it go.0
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I thought we were fine.... I sent him another text and asked "What time are we meeting for lunch?" Obviously not, he deleted me from MFP, FB, and I haven't tried even calling yet
Wow, over reaction much?! If you want to then text and apologise, like one line not a whole essay, and leave it at that, sounds like he has major issues to go crazy about one little thing!0 -
I thought we were fine.... I sent him another text and asked "What time are we meeting for lunch?" Obviously not, he deleted me from MFP, FB, and I haven't tried even calling yet
thats the most ridiculous thing ive ever heard. how old is he ! i think he needs a time out.
LOL he's 39
ROFL, this was a fun read. wow, to take offense to someone asking if they wanted to move treadmills is a bit silly.
when I'm on a treadmill and my wife asks if I want to run next to her I usually flip her off and then move next to her anyways. but we are a little inappropriate at the gym cussing each other out all in good fun. we spend most of our workouts together laughing0 -
^^This. He has completely overreacted. Unless this kind of thing happens all the time and this was the straw that broke the camels back kind of thing.0
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Do you guys think that I was being controlling and should apologize or that he is just being really whiny and I just need to move on from this friendship????
Sounds like he took his marbles and his ball from the playground and went home. If you did sound "controlling", I think your text explained (I dont think you were, FWIW).0 -
I don't think you are too controlling; I think you are too analytical. Quit thinking so much.0
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