Am I being too controlling?

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Replies

  • Pebble321
    Pebble321 Posts: 6,423 Member
    Edited...
  • KimInsanityP
    KimInsanityP Posts: 97
    If he deleted you, let him go!!!! he's obviously got some issues that have nothing to do with you. I mean who gets mad at that!
  • UsedToBeHusky
    UsedToBeHusky Posts: 15,228 Member
    Wow, thank you guys! In reading all of your responses (some funny and some kinda rude but eye-opening), I just decided a few things...

    #1. F**K HIM! He's not worth my time to ***** about!
    #2. I think I was more upset at losing my motivating workout partner than losing a so-called friend. Some of you are right, I am lonely (or needy with him). My real friends (who still try and I love them for it!) are not into wanting to workout at all! They are all still going out drinking every weekend and when they ask me to go with them and I only do occassionally.... it doesn't make for a very active social life and hasn't for some time. So here I meet this guy at the gym. We become workout partners and subsequently good friends (or so I thought!). In retrospect, he was a rude and whiny gay man. You know, the kind that you just want to slap upside the head because he's madly obsessing (stalker style) over a straight man! Yup, by the way, that is how this all started.... I was the one who told him that his man crush was straight, had a girlfriend, and just all around not a "good" person. So yes, he was looking for an excuse because I didn't kiss his *kitten* when he was expecting me to be happy that he was "in love!"

    PS - I just want to add for some of you that if you know someone is seriously putting in MINIMUM effort walking 3mph at a 0% incline and you walk up to them - that's not even close to interupting their workout because that person isn't "working out." Thats coming to find them when you are finished like you said you would do? Just my opinion :)

    You need to try to be a self-motivator. I know it can be hard, but your health shouldn't be dependent upon socializing. If you find a new workout partner, then great, but I would suggest working out independently from them for a little while. As for your gay friend, treat him like you would a boyfriend. Ignore him for a couple of weeks. He will come around and it will be like nothing ever happened.
  • JadeRabbit08
    JadeRabbit08 Posts: 551 Member
    Wow, thank you guys! In reading all of your responses (some funny and some kinda rude but eye-opening), I just decided a few things...

    #1. F**K HIM! He's not worth my time to ***** about!
    #2. I think I was more upset at losing my motivating workout partner than losing a so-called friend. Some of you are right, I am lonely (or needy with him). My real friends (who still try and I love them for it!) are not into wanting to workout at all! They are all still going out drinking every weekend and when they ask me to go with them and I only do occassionally.... it doesn't make for a very active social life and hasn't for some time. So here I meet this guy at the gym. We become workout partners and subsequently good friends (or so I thought!). In retrospect, he was a rude and whiny gay man. You know, the kind that you just want to slap upside the head because he's madly obsessing (stalker style) over a straight man! Yup, by the way, that is how this all started.... I was the one who told him that his man crush was straight, had a girlfriend, and just all around not a "good" person. So yes, he was looking for an excuse because I didn't kiss his *kitten* when he was expecting me to be happy that he was "in love!"

    PS - I just want to add for some of you that if you know someone is seriously putting in MINIMUM effort walking 3mph at a 0% incline and you walk up to them - that's not even close to interupting their workout because that person isn't "working out." Thats coming to find them when you are finished like you said you would do? Just my opinion :)

    Wow ..save me from "friends"like you. Any other dirt you want to offload about him? Maybe mention his totally irrelevent sexuality in degoratory terms again?
    The trick when hurt is to process it offline so you dont make a permenant record of comments that you will regret later once you have cooled down.
  • TourThePast
    TourThePast Posts: 1,753 Member
    Thats coming to find them when you are finished like you said you would do?
    Which is a LONG way from "Coming to find him, as he asked me to find him the second that I finished my own workout"

    Whether he was running flat out or walking at 3mph is none of your business, he was in the middle of his workout. Perhaps he was trying to use the time to think things through until you barged in on him, or perhaps he was just enjoying a bit of time to himself.

    To be perfectly frank, I think that your posting personal details about the private life of someone who you've said is a member of this site is not only against the site rules, but it's appalling behaviour, and you should be feeling ashamed of yourself.
  • Kap10
    Kap10 Posts: 229 Member
    Its difficult not being there, MAYBE having worked out your tone came across badly or he misinterpreted your suggestion as an order. However, even though you did not feel you had done anything wrong (and I am not saying you had) you did the big thing and explained and apologised and intended to continue with lunch. He however has come across to us all as a total twatt.

    Please do not apologise to him again as it undermines you and makes you look desperate for him which I am sure you are not.

    Ps I asume you were not doing the face in your profile picture to him.. that could have been it ;-).
    PPs The Ps is a joke
  • MaryB2
    MaryB2 Posts: 331 Member
    WOW!! I can't believe you are on here calling him names and saying crappy things about him. You say he's on MFP so you know he'll read this. That seems really passive aggressive. If anyone needs to run from this friendship it's him!!

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