Did dating standards go up when you lose weight?

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  • secretlobster
    secretlobster Posts: 3,566 Member
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    From being 18 years old and skinny (low confidence), 20 years old and 50 pounds over weight (no confidence at all) , and now 22 years (a little confidence starting to show) and almost at a healthy weight, my standards did change in the sense where as I am getting older and my confidence is increasing so I am making better (mature) choices in terms of dating standards

    THIS... Your standards should increase as you mature!! :)
  • bellavita0125
    bellavita0125 Posts: 116 Member
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    I'll let you know when I get there. oh wait, i'm married. shucks!
  • BigDaddyBRC
    BigDaddyBRC Posts: 2,395 Member
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    If they change, you're head was only in the right place half the time
  • bellavita0125
    bellavita0125 Posts: 116 Member
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    Nope. My wife still won't let me date.

    ^^^^LOL
  • kiminikimkim
    kiminikimkim Posts: 746 Member
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    It depends on the standards.

    As my confidence grew I chose not to be with "Bad boys". My Bad Boy standards were:
    1) Employed, made more than I did
    2) Owned a car
    3) Nice wardrobe
    4) Outgoing, flirty

    My new standards are:
    1) Gentleman
    2) Employed or self-employed but can make less than I do
    3) Sweet, romantic
    4) Pro-environment
    5) Eats healthily
  • lorihalsted
    lorihalsted Posts: 326 Member
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    For me, losing weight has been a process of self-discovery and realization. I've made many steps to improve myself along with my health including going back to school and addressing my inner demons. I would say that I have raised my dating standards not necessarily because I have lost weight, but because I believe in myself now so will not settle on someone who is not as self-aware and stable as I am. I used to go for the controlling and abusive types because I didn't think I was good enough for something better. I now know that I am deserving of someone who will give as much into the relationship as I do.
    \

    Very well stated. I stayed with a man way too long (10 years) just because I didn't think I deserved better. I dumped him with no intention of ever dating again and met my husband 2 months later who is the best man in the whole wide world (for me!).

    My standards didn't change per say I just realized I didn't have to hang on to the worthless piece of trash I had. I started thinking on a a different level. I can't really explain it.
  • ScottyNoHotty
    ScottyNoHotty Posts: 1,957 Member
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    Nope...I still go after the lonely, drunk girl sitting at the bar at closing time....
  • coachblt
    coachblt Posts: 1,090
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    My standards? What standards? If I get a feeling that she's into me, I'll ask her out. Unfortunately, I haven't gotten that feeling in 7 years...:laugh: :noway:
  • directorj
    directorj Posts: 537 Member
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    It depends on the standards.

    As my confidence grew I chose not to be with "Bad boys". My Bad Boy standards were:
    1) Employed, made more than I did
    2) Owned a car
    3) Nice wardrobe
    4) Outgoing, flirty

    My new standards are:
    1) Gentleman
    2) Employed or self-employed but can make less than I do
    3) Sweet, romantic
    4) Pro-environment
    5) Eats healthily

    Wow well said
  • ashlinmarie
    ashlinmarie Posts: 1,263 Member
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    Physically, my husband is not my type at all. He kind of tricked me into dating him, but after two months I got to know him and knew I'd be with him for the rest of my life. I was 145 when we met and I was just as attracted to him at 195 and I have no doubt it will remain the same when I'm back at 145!

    His intelligence and personality is just so much higher than the other guys I dated, even though he is only the second most attractive guy I've been with. (The most attractive was the most emotionally immature...19 and had never held a girls hand or anything...we had a good run, but looking back we never could have lasted).
  • Justacoffeenut
    Justacoffeenut Posts: 3,808 Member
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    I heard once that you date and marry on your confidence level. I married my husband when I was extremely over weight. At the time, I was 30 years old and didn't feel like any other opportunity would happen. There are more days than not that I wish I would have waited. He doesn't like my weight loss because I'm more confident and want to dress in more stylish clothing. Sadly, I can honestly say that if I hadn't been so over weight when I got married, I never would have married him.

    I have to say this broke my heart reading it :brokenheart:
  • _the_feniks_
    _the_feniks_ Posts: 3,443 Member
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    No. In fact, evidently, they went down as one of my friends here informed me I would have to pay for sex now. :sad:
  • Natx83
    Natx83 Posts: 1,308 Member
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    You know the reacher and the settler...

    I've just changed which one I am..

    Just playing haha
  • Darkskinned88
    Darkskinned88 Posts: 1,177 Member
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    no i always go for who im attracted to...whether im fat black and ugly as ever or slightly smaller
  • tom1834
    tom1834 Posts: 34
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    my standard haven't really changed but more weight I lose the more I feel like I go from "not a chance in hell" to "what are you doing Friday night?" In someones mind.
  • Cambrendle
    Cambrendle Posts: 104 Member
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    I would say that I have raised my dating standards not necessarily because I have lost weight, but because I believe in myself now so will not settle on someone who is not as self-aware and stable as I am. I used to go for the controlling and abusive types because I didn't think I was good enough for something better. I now know that I am deserving of someone who will give as much into the relationship as I do.
    \

    ^^ This, it doesn't have anything to do with losing weight. As I got older and dated a more variety of men, I found what I like and don't like personality wise - it doesn't always come in the package of rock hard abs - or the really nice guy that would do anything for you. It's a matter of can we have fun together, can I depend on you when I absolutely need something done or something goes wrong, are you able to make your own decisions or are you a follower, can you pay your own bills, can you be faithful, and most importantly, how you display your anger. the lean and muscled body is definitely the stuff of dreams - but not always the best reality... in my experience...
  • Sasssy69
    Sasssy69 Posts: 547 Member
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    The pool of available partners goes up considerably the more fat a person loses.
    That's reality.

    Yep. This. I noticed after I dropped 20 pounds I was suddenly getting hit on constantly. I gained it back, barely got a glance. Back down 12 pounds, and I'm starting to turn heads again. I've noticed this the past month especially at the gym. It's as if I suddenly became visible. And I don't mind.

    As far as my taste in men? Nope. I don't need him to be super hot. But he must be smart. Hot helps. Good thing I married my husband. He's both.

    Having said that, I've gotten in really good shape over the past 4 months -I'm talking cardio and endurance. I'm still too big for my own personal taste. My husband has gotten really out of shape. When we do things together physically, I'm always leading the way. I don't like that.
  • capnwo85
    capnwo85 Posts: 1,103 Member
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    I seem to get no love regardless of what shape I'm in. :ohwell:
  • rm830
    rm830 Posts: 531 Member
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    No, it didn't change anything. I think I got more attention from guys when I was heavier, ironically.

    Same here....I don't get it...
  • Friday74
    Friday74 Posts: 36 Member
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    Nope, standards didn't change. Unfortunately, neither did the very limited local population here :grumble: Ah, well, crazy cat lady is probably in my skill set :laugh:

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