How old were you when you had kids?

matchbox_girl
matchbox_girl Posts: 535 Member
in Chit-Chat
So this is probably personal but I'm curious as to if I'm the only one who is holding out! I'm twenty one. My boyfriend (future husband) is 22. My mom was 20 when she had me. She's an amazing mother. All of my friends are pregnant and/or having kids. Literally, everyone. I feel like I should NOT have a kid at 21! I feel like I am still a kid...but then there are those moments when my maternal clock starts ticking and I really want a baby.....(that only happens when I'm drunk....haha.)

Seriously, ladies, how old were you when you had a kid, and was it worth it? If you could go back and wait would you? Or if you could go back and do it earlier would you? I have a job that I really love and it's my main focus.....I just feel like I'm kind of old fashioned and want to wait until we own a home, have a nicer car, make good money, settled down somewhere permanent, gone on vacations and partied without a kid....I feel like we just haven't lived enough yet, and having a kid would throw it all away....am I wrong??

(I know it's a matter of personal preference in the long run but I'm just curious :)
«134567…16

Replies

  • weighlossforbaby
    weighlossforbaby Posts: 847 Member
    I will be 30 in January and I want to be a mom by then...hopefully!!!! My mom had 3 kids by the age of 22 (I am a twin).
  • Melanie_RS
    Melanie_RS Posts: 417 Member
    WAIT AS LONG AS POSSIBLE!!! or have none at all! either is perfectly acceptable!

    I had my daughter when I was 19 - it was traumatic! LOL I never did it again! Now I'm 37 and I'd have made such a better parent being older!

    enjoy being young and child-free. seriously, you are making a very responsible, smart, mature decision!

    just my .02!
  • rungirl1973
    rungirl1973 Posts: 2,559 Member
    I had my daughter when I was 19, my son when I was 20.

    I would recommend waiting, enjoy your youth while you're young.
  • aki7chien
    aki7chien Posts: 85 Member
    I had my daughter when I was 19, my son when I was 20.

    I would recommend waiting, enjoy your youth while you're young.

    Agree! Had my only at 19. She's amazing, but it was hard.
  • lauristewart
    lauristewart Posts: 379 Member
    36 when I had my son and 38 when I had my daughter!! So glad I waited....I had a lot of fun before hand!! LOL!!
  • beccaboo0713
    beccaboo0713 Posts: 74
    I was 23 when we started trying. I have pcos so it took a while. I was 25 when my first was born and 27 when my second came along. My husband and I had been married for 6 years before the birth of our son. I am really glad that we waited that long. Even a couple more years wouldn't have hurt.

    I say wait if you are not ready. There is no rush.

    Kids are hard. They can be hard on a marriage at first because learning to become a parent coupled with sleep depravation can take its toll. And they can be expensive.

    Worth every second though!

    But like I said before, no harm on waiting. Your friends lives don't have to dictate your life. :)
  • Kathy53925
    Kathy53925 Posts: 241 Member
    I had my daughter when I was 19, my son when I was 20.

    I would recommend waiting, enjoy your youth while you're young.

    Agree! Had my only at 19. She's amazing, but it was hard.

    Agree as well! mine were at 19-21 and 24. I love my kids dearly, but mothering at that age was really hard. I think late 20's or early 30's is awesome.
  • Sasssy69
    Sasssy69 Posts: 547 Member
    I had my first daughter when I was 30 and my second when I was 32. I'm now 39, and I am so very glad I waited until I was in my 30s. I have so much more patience, I have my career, and I feel more confident about my decisions. It is funny though; one of my former students and I have kids the same age, in the same class. :-)

    I would wait if I were you. No rush. Believe me.
  • GoldenGirl1979
    GoldenGirl1979 Posts: 716 Member
    i was 26... i think that was a good age... not too young, not too old... if i had to do it over again, i wouldn't change a thing!
  • Happy_Healthy_Babe
    Happy_Healthy_Babe Posts: 20
    I personally believe you need to explore the world and yourself before having children. I'm 23 and my boyfriend is 19, we both want 2 children but have agreed not to untill we have a house and and a decent amount in savings, something we are both working hard to achieve. . Ideally I'd like to be pregant by 28-29 and give birth when I'm 30.
  • Werglum
    Werglum Posts: 378 Member
    I had my first at 30 and my second at 32 - I wanted to start earlier (maybe 26 or so) but my husband wasn't keen at all!! I want one more and feel like I'm pushed for time.
  • kmoore02
    kmoore02 Posts: 167 Member
    I was 26 with my first daughter and 32 with my second!
  • weecdngeer
    weecdngeer Posts: 8
    I was 31 when I had my first and 35 with my second. The timing was really good; we had a chance to get our careers going, buy a house and have some fun and travel out of our system as a couple. We were about the middle of our pack of friends to have kids... there were a couple friends who had oopsies in their early twenties, but none of our friends/classmates chose to have kids before about 25 or 27.
  • timanda2
    timanda2 Posts: 149
    first child at 24, second at 27, and my third at 31
  • Gr8ChangesAhead
    Gr8ChangesAhead Posts: 836 Member
    Had my son at 17, 1st daughter at 21, 2nd daughter at 25, lost twins at 29, 3rd daughter at 33. I was young so yes I would wait if I had to go back and do it all over. Apparently I am fertile every 4 years.. Now I will wait for Grandchildren, someday. But I did go to college with having kids and raising 2 of my cousins so it all works out in the end......
  • marekdds
    marekdds Posts: 2,233 Member
    WAIT, WAIT, WAIT! I was 26, 30, 32. and 36. I was not sure I was ready even then, but I was certainly more mature and more financially sound. Children are expensive! Good luck to you and do what is best for you. BTW, the pic is first grandchild, I'm 60 now.
  • nroisland
    nroisland Posts: 254 Member
    I was 30 when I had my daughter and 31 when I had my son. Everyone is different, but for me I wish I would of had them a little earlier say 27.
    But for sure I am glad I had them after I was done with my early 20's, I am much more patient now and my husband has the career that can support us so I can stay home with them. I am 32 now and love having 2 little kids to run after.
  • themommie
    themommie Posts: 5,033 Member
    I was 21 and I wouldnt change it I think I was ready to be a mom, but everyone is different. If you feel you aren't ready wait, you are still young and have plenty of time to have kids.
  • giggles7706
    giggles7706 Posts: 1,491 Member
    I had my first son at 18 years old and my second when I was 22.

    Wait. Seriously. It's hard to take care of a child when you are a kid yourself. I know. Enjoy your youth and freedom while you have it.
  • dayone987
    dayone987 Posts: 645 Member
    I had my kids in my thirties. In some ways it was better because my career was settled. But for most women it's harder to get pregnant as you get into the thirties. And then if there are fertility problems usually it doesn't get sorted out for a couple of years, ("trying" for a year, appointments, diagnosis, treatment etc).
    More energy when you're younger, maybe less patience/maturity. The best time is when you're ready, but most likely you'll never feel like you have quite enough money. In general I'd say late twenties or earlier thirties (but I know everyone has their own journey)
  • OccupyFitness
    OccupyFitness Posts: 145 Member
    I met my husband when I was 19, got married at 23 and had my first baby at 26. It was the perfect timing for me.
  • shirayne
    shirayne Posts: 263 Member
    I got pregnant with my first at 27 but miscarried. I had my son at 30 and let me tell you that after 3 days in the hospital (c-section) when they told me (excitedly I might add) that I could finally go home... I refused. :) I was terrified and couldn't believe they were going to let me bring that little person home! I can't imagine how I'd have felt had I been younger! But that's just me and my son is everything to me. He's my life and I can't imagine him not being a part of it.
  • _HeyMommy_
    _HeyMommy_ Posts: 323 Member
    I was 34 when I had my son, and 36 when my daughter was born. Alot of our friends have kids that are graduating or are grandparents already. I personally am glad we waited.. (well waited until we were 28 to start trying, the rest was
    waiting for it to happen and a few miscarriages) because we just didnt have the patience needed when we were younger. We are much calmer
    now then we were when we got married at 21. With that being said, everyone is different. My best friend had kids real
    young, and has been a great mom. Good luck with whatever you choose!
  • beckylawrence70
    beckylawrence70 Posts: 752 Member
    17 when I had my son, just turned 20 eleven days before my daughter born, became a grandma at 39......
  • blueeylb
    blueeylb Posts: 297 Member
    i had my daughter at 30 and my son at 32. i really dont think i would change anything i enjoyed sleeping in and doing what ever i wanted when ever i wanted without having to juggle around babysitting and the other "fun" things that our little bundle of joy's come with. if i would of gone back and changed things i would not have been blessed with my husband and children... your still young dont give in to the peer pressure wait till you and your man are truely ready you'll be be happier when it's really your choice.
  • camsamdad
    camsamdad Posts: 53 Member
    I was 33 when we had my son and 39 for my daughter we are planning one more. I wish I would have had them when I was in my mid 20s. I enjoy my kids and whould do anything in the world for them but I wish I was a little bit younger.
  • lmelangley
    lmelangley Posts: 1,039 Member
    I had my kids at 32 and 35. Absolutely NO regrets for waiting! I know there are many good mothers who are young, but I think the life experiences I had from waiting made me a much better mother than I would have been at 20.
  • Elizabeth_C34
    Elizabeth_C34 Posts: 6,376 Member
    I'm 28 and pregnant with my first. I'm glad I waited. I enjoyed my 20's being in college, and I also enjoyed being married for a couple years without children. Take your time, and wait until you're financially and emotionally ready for it. Don't let anyone else push you do it too early. Children are an enormous commitment, and it's best to wait until you are stable, and you and your partner are ready for it.
  • debobrien1
    debobrien1 Posts: 95
    First at 30 and last at 35... So glad I waited!! Even now when most of the women my age have their last one leaving the house, I still have a 10 year old! It keeps me feeling young! :)
  • MinMin97
    MinMin97 Posts: 2,674 Member
    I was 29 when my first was born. This is my opinion: What age to have children is not so much the issue, IMO, as the issue of being established. By that I mean, it is a whole different life to have children, so prepare yourself..do you have a good place to live that is a healthy place to be? Are you settled in your marriage? Are you ready to focus on being a wife and mommy? Do you have an income that allows you to provide needs and some wants (like a periodic vacation as a family, some creature comforts, some self-development, and development for your family members--like music, art or other pursuits). I don't mean a lavish lifestyle, just not stuck in a rut and vulnerable, struggling. Children slow you way down, and quite frankly, you have no idea what it is like until you have them...until you have your very own.
    I have 5 children and LOVE being a wife and mommy:heart:

Categories