How do you feel about this article?

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Replies

  • jmilian825
    jmilian825 Posts: 193 Member
    wow...... um just wow.....:noway:....
  • MNA76
    MNA76 Posts: 1,541
    I would think that it shows that you are a determined, goal-oriented, hardworking, committed individual, because you were able to change the fact that you were obese and became a fit, healthy individual. Just my opinion.
  • LindaCWy
    LindaCWy Posts: 463 Member
    I read an article the other day, and am surprised I haven't seen anything on the boards here about it. To summarize the article, it stated that they did a study that showed a woman who was once obese and is now thin is considered less attractive than a woman who has always been thin. That the stigma of obesity still exists even if you are no longer obese.

    Has anyone else dealt with that issue? I have. Prior to meeting my husband, I noticed almost instant changes in guys I would date when they learned I used to be obese. They would start watching me eat, when they never had before. We would stop having dessert when we went out. And the relationships all fizzled within weeks of my previous weight struggle being revealed- when no other problem existed prior to it. My husband's family even told him not to marry me because I used to be fat, and that I would probably get fat again, and have fat children. At least they didn't try to hide it I guess- but my MIL has often said she would rather die early of cancer from smoking cigarettes and be thin, than live longer and be fat from quitting. She said this with a tracheotomy in her throat from the throat cancer she now has. She still smokes with the trach.

    Anyhow, if you haven't read it, the article link is below:

    http://www.theatlantic.com/health/archive/2012/05/study-were-biased-against-obese-people-even-if-they-get-thin/257898/

    What the H3ll is wrong with your in laws? First of all IF you have been fat before, the likely-hood of going back to that lifestyle is slim (pun intended), simply cause you've been there, done that and will not go back. The possibility of someone being super skinny then gaining weight as they age is a common possibility.
  • msmindylee
    msmindylee Posts: 61
    When I met my husband, he was heavy, and he lost 65 lbs while we were dating. About a year after we got married, we were visiting his family back east and one of them remarked on what a "big guy" he was. Except he wasn't any more (not particularly tall, either).

    But this particular family member (a nephew) couldn't even see him differently. I thought THAT was kinda sad.
  • Chipmaniac
    Chipmaniac Posts: 642 Member
    We're told on this board many times how something like 80% of those that lose weight will regain the weight and maybe more. So, knowing this, why wouldn't someone be concerned that someone maybe got thin in order to find a mate and then will let themselves go once they are in a relationship?

    This happened to me. Twice in the last ten years I've lost weight to get down to a healthy weight (50+ pounds), found a girlfriend and then put the weight back on. I felt like I had done a bait and switch. It really wasn't fair to them. People may not like it, but it makes some sense to suspect future behavior will match past behavior. Most of the time, you'll be right.
  • StarkLark
    StarkLark Posts: 476 Member
    Another devil's advocate angle... if you were romantically involved with a person and found out they spent 20+ years of their life morbidly obese (even though they were now thinner and healthier) would you possibly wonder:

    "Does this person have a shortened life span?"

    "If we were to marry will this person die early and leave me alone without a partner?"

    Now I don't know stats or medical figures on formerly obese people and life spans, but both of those seem like reasonable questions that might occur to someone, and I can see how they might negatively affect a person's "attractiveness".

    I know, it's cold and analytical - but it's not unreasonable to consider.
  • Skeena4
    Skeena4 Posts: 209 Member

    ...my MIL has often said she would rather die early of cancer from smoking cigarettes and be thin, than live longer and be fat from quitting. She said this with a tracheotomy in her throat from the throat cancer she now has. She still smokes with the trach.

    I hope your MIL has lots of life insurance to leave you a big FAT inheritance. ;)

    ^^^^ this!!! Hahaha - that's awesome!
  • Jupitermermaid
    Jupitermermaid Posts: 270 Member
    Last year I started dating a guy after loosing 49 pounds. When we would run into people I know they would tell me how wonderful I looked. He said that he couldn't imagine me ever being "fat." Wellllllll.........we went on a couple of back-to-back vacations, and I gained 7 pounds. He asked me if I was going to lose it, and I told him yes. Apparantly, I didn't lose it fast enough, because he stopped calling me and didn't return the couple of calls I made to him. Since then, I've lost 20 more pounds and wear a size 4-6 (I was a 10 when we were going out).

    I ran into him three months ago and he asked me what "finally" motivated me to lose the weight. I responded that I was a much happier person than I was last year so didn't feel the need to compensate with food. It went over his head, and now he's been bugging me to go back out with him. Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm..................not a chance, baby......not a chance!!!
  • Shock_Wave
    Shock_Wave Posts: 1,573 Member
    I hope your MIL has lots of life insurance to leave you a big FAT inheritance. ;)

    ^^^^ this!!! Hahaha - that's awesome!
    Really????? Thats still her husbands mother...
    :frown:.............................................................. :frown:
    fail-thumbs-down.american-apparel-unisex-fitted-tee.white.w760h760.jpg
  • Shock_Wave
    Shock_Wave Posts: 1,573 Member
    ..del
  • Shock_Wave
    Shock_Wave Posts: 1,573 Member
    ........del
  • Laces_0ut
    Laces_0ut Posts: 3,750 Member
    what are the stats on people gaining the weight back? they have to be pretty high. i think that is why they are cautious/look at it differently.

    if dating someone who is fit is important they'd rather date someone who has always been fit and has a much lower chance of getting fat is probably the reason.
  • taunto
    taunto Posts: 6,420 Member
    I would much rather have a fat to thin partner with confidence in her own skin than an always been skinny girl who have no self-esteem.

    Please, you can find different opinions about everybody on google if you just look. I'm sure you can find articles over how hot pedophilia is or other disgusting things. My point is that these articles are trying to cash in on peoples insecurities and you're playing right into it.

    Donot worry about what others think. If a person is looking at you funny, ask him point blank what he's looking at. Don't play a puppet in medias hands please
  • Camilletherealdeal
    Camilletherealdeal Posts: 26 Member
    I read that article as well, and at first rather surprised by it, but in retrospect it makes sense.
    There is a general stigma against obese people -- logically -- obesity is gross.That's why we are all part of MFP isn't it? We were sick of being gross!
    So because of that, it is understandable that a man would see a woman who has previously been obese less attractive...due to the fact that there was probably a psychological reason why she was obese in the first place, so there truly may be a potential for her to get fat again. Plus, there will always be some lingering evidence of once being fat....namely, stretch marks (I HATE those!) and long-term health issues.
    The same goes for the opposite sex too. The article didn't mention it but I would guess womens' opinions are the same.
    Fact is, obesity is mostly caused by poor eating habits and lack of exercise - just to an extreme - and even if slight, there's always a chance a person could revert to those bad habits.
    I know it sounds harsh, but I'm just being honest from my own experience with my weight fluctuating for years. Most of us have lost weight and put it back on again. It is really really hard to permanently change lifelong habits.

    P.S. to you MIL, Smoking is grosser than being fat any day. Fat people have reasons for being addicted to food, smokers are just idiots.
  • almostatgoalweight
    almostatgoalweight Posts: 234 Member
    I haven't read the article (yet) but I can understand the issues involved. If someone had just reached their goal weight after losing a lot of weight I would assume based on simple probabilities that they were probably going to regain most or all of it within say 5 years. However, if they've been at their goal weight for say 5 years, I'd assume that it would never happen.
  • AntWrig
    AntWrig Posts: 2,273 Member
    I read that article as well, and at first rather surprised by it, but in retrospect it makes sense.
    There is a general stigma against obese people -- logically -- obesity is gross.That's why we are all part of MFP isn't it? We were sick of being gross!
    So because of that, it is understandable that a man would see a woman who has previously been obese less attractive...due to the fact that there was probably a psychological reason why she was obese in the first place, so there truly may be a potential for her to get fat again. Plus, there will always be some lingering evidence of once being fat....namely, stretch marks (I HATE those!) and long-term health issues.
    The same goes for the opposite sex too. The article didn't mention it but I would guess womens' opinions are the same.
    Fact is, obesity is mostly caused by poor eating habits and lack of exercise - just to an extreme - and even if slight, there's always a chance a person could revert to those bad habits.
    I know it sounds harsh, but I'm just being honest from my own experience with my weight fluctuating for years. Most of us have lost weight and put it back on again. It is really really hard to permanently change lifelong habits.

    P.S. to you MIL, Smoking is grosser than being fat any day. Fat people have reasons for being addicted to food, smokers are just idiots.
    Being fat is being "gross"? That's a new one to me.
  • AntWrig
    AntWrig Posts: 2,273 Member
    WTH! I haven't read the article but people's attitudes about obese people make me sick. So you were big so what? Does being big make someone a bad person? I don't think so. Can I slap your mother-in-law for you?
    Devil's advocate time!

    No it doesn't make them a bad person, but it DOES put them in a category of people who most likely have poor impulse control and or possible addiction issues. Those are serious things to consider when choosing a life partner.
    I don't even know where to begin. I will just start with LOL!
  • chocl8girl
    chocl8girl Posts: 1,968 Member
    I read that article as well, and at first rather surprised by it, but in retrospect it makes sense.
    There is a general stigma against obese people -- logically -- obesity is gross.That's why we are all part of MFP isn't it? We were sick of being gross!
    So because of that, it is understandable that a man would see a woman who has previously been obese less attractive...due to the fact that there was probably a psychological reason why she was obese in the first place, so there truly may be a potential for her to get fat again. Plus, there will always be some lingering evidence of once being fat....namely, stretch marks (I HATE those!) and long-term health issues.
    The same goes for the opposite sex too. The article didn't mention it but I would guess womens' opinions are the same.
    Fact is, obesity is mostly caused by poor eating habits and lack of exercise - just to an extreme - and even if slight, there's always a chance a person could revert to those bad habits.
    I know it sounds harsh, but I'm just being honest from my own experience with my weight fluctuating for years. Most of us have lost weight and put it back on again. It is really really hard to permanently change lifelong habits.

    P.S. to you MIL, Smoking is grosser than being fat any day. Fat people have reasons for being addicted to food, smokers are just idiots.

    Umm. Wow. It's probably because of thoughts such as these that this stigma goes on and on and on. NO ONE'S body is "gross." NO ONE'S.
  • StarkLark
    StarkLark Posts: 476 Member
    WTH! I haven't read the article but people's attitudes about obese people make me sick. So you were big so what? Does being big make someone a bad person? I don't think so. Can I slap your mother-in-law for you?
    Devil's advocate time!

    No it doesn't make them a bad person, but it DOES put them in a category of people who most likely have poor impulse control and or possible addiction issues. Those are serious things to consider when choosing a life partner.
    I don't even know where to begin. I will just start with LOL!
    Well give it a try for the sake of discussion :smile:

    I'd be really interested in what you have to say about my comment (beyond the lol :wink: ).

    I was trying to see it from the other side and I definitely think the things I wrote are reasonable concerns about someone who was or has been obese. Of course someone who has kept the weight off for years might be an exception to those concerns.

    Sure, you could add to the list of reasons why an otherwise normal person becomes obese (laziness, truly not caring, etc), but barring medical issues (which I didn't exclude the first time around), what makes the original concerns I brought up so off base?

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