Question for the men in relationships
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Guys like what they cannot have.
In our DNA we really werent meant to be with 1 person our whole lives.
I blame the church!
Anywho....
Most guys even if they say they dont watch it....lies!
=D
I don't agree with this, I blame the liberal media and porn, for making men believe they weren't meant to have just one partner........ :devil: opinions are easy to throw around on the internet, where is the proof :ohwell:
^^Thank you! You took the words right out of my mouth. BTW, to the previous poster, just because you don't have the self control to be with one person and refrain from looking at porn, and, therefore, can't conceive or understand how anyone else could, that doesn't make EVERY person who says they're not doing it a liar.0 -
LOL - i often pick out the Porn (cause he normally gets horrible crap - i mean just really pathetic excuses for Porn), but I've never considered it "cheating". Plus, I like hentai and he just doesn't see the fun in "cartoons" - lol. Also, we've found some interesting new..... methods to try out on some videos ;}
If somebody has an issue w/ their other watching, I would think they have an insecurity issue or are hiding something.0 -
Ok soup and pizza aside (very clever) why would a man need porn if he is satisfied with his woman?
Because, aside from the couple's unit sexuality, each member of the unit still has their own individual sexuality. It's healthy to keep developing that, because it makes for a healthier, more confident individual. The only time you have a problem is when one partner or the other would rather watch porn most of the time than be with their partner.
(I still watch porn/read erotic fiction, and so does my boyfriend. And yet, we have a fantastic sex life. Are they connected?
) 0 -
This all cracks me up...I'm almost 50yrs old and have NEVER seen porn!!! I know my bf watches it though...does it bothe me?? Yes, but he does it when I'm at work, so I never know. If he cheating??? In my personal opinion YES!! But that's just my opinion!!!0
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I don't think it's that simple. And doesn't this mean he's going to start thinking about those fake women when he IS with me???I'm not a guy of course, but does he do this on his own? If so, why not watch porn WITH him?
We dont live together
THIS IS THE ANSWER TO THE QUESTION.... MYSTERY SOLVED.
As I'm sure you've noticed, the answers to your question are going to run the gamut. I think the more important point might be that you seem to have some difficulty with your boyfriend watching porn. So... have you talked to HIM about it?0 -
Men need a fantasy sometimes and if your making it "wrong" for him to like, chances are it makes it hotter for him. I would be worried if he wasnt watching porn and taking care of it hisself when I'm not available.0
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Yeah I agree and by that definition all women cheat too. But I feel like I need to point out that studies have shown this to be false (that men are more visual than women eta: see below). I think most guys would be really surprised to find out how women really are (not that much different).It depends on the frequency and context. Guys are going to take care of their own business once in awhile. Being visual creatures, seeing images and video helps the process along. That raises an interesting question. Is thinking about someone beside your partner while self-pleasuring cheating? If not, then how can looking at images and video rather than just relying on mental imagery be worse? If so, then almost all guys are cheating.
OP, if it is a problem for you then it is a problem. Don't let other relationships define yours. There are all kinds of people in the world and relationships are not a one size fits all scenario. Not all men care about porn and strippers I tend to hang out with men like this (perhaps they are the minority but they do exist and yes they are straight). I think it is really offensive to men to suggest they can't help themselves ---as if they are some kind of beast. My DH doesn't watch porn or go to strip clubs (never has), I'm sure when he's *ahem* "maintaining" he fantasizes. I'm not overly concerned with it because he's a decent human being and an amazing partner. Even if he wanted to watch porn here and there I wouldn't care because he's good to me and he is responsible in all the other parts of his life. The only time I'd have a problem is (and this goes for anything not just porn) if he was neglecting other things so he could watch it (that is more about priorities than porn)
ETA:
By Cory Silverberg - Monday June 19, 2006
...a recent study published in the journal Brain Research is offering the first preliminary but important evidence to dispel the age old myth that visual imagery is more important to men than it is to women. And it's worth considering without hyperbole.
The study, carried out by researchers at Washington University School of Medicine in St. Louis measured brainwave activity of 264 women as they viewed a series of 55 color slides that contained various scenes from water skiers to snarling dogs to partially-clad couples in sensual poses. The researchers were interested in the speed, strength, and location of brainwave activity of the subjects as they viewed erotic versus non-erotic images.
As they hypothesized, the brainwave activity of participants was markedly different when viewing erotic images versus non-erotic images. But a finding they didn’t expect was that female participant’s response was similar to men. In a prepared statement, lead author Andrey P. Anokhin explained:
"Usually men subjectively rate erotic material much higher than women," he says. "So based on those data we would expect lower responses in women, but that was not the case. Women have responses as strong as those seen in men."
The authors propose that previous findings from other studies which found men to have a stronger response to erotic images than women may have as much to do with research methods, as an actual response by men or women.0 -
After 25 years of marriage, I can tell you in my experience that having exciting rambunctious sex gets harder and harder to generate, because you HAVE to work at it. Porn is the lazy way out, and it can be dangerous to some couples for a variety of reasons, but is also benign for other couples. Is porn cheating? If the one partner thinks it is, and the other doesn't then you have something serious to talk about - probably with a therapist.
Porn has nothing to offer that is better than an enthusiastic skin-to-skin romp in the sheets with your sweetie. Nothing.
Bravo. Well said. I used to justify pornography but for me it's really not an acceptable thing anymore. I'm not saying that I'll never again see another naked woman on the Internet but I don't go looking for it and when I run into it (How easy is that) I don't hang out and keep flipping through image after image. I used to justify viewing it with my wife because it would get her motor running quite easily but as you noted I've come to realize that it's just a lazy way of getting your spouse in the mood. I wouldn't say that he was tired of you or found you unattractive. I never thought my wife was unattractive. She's beautiful but the male mind is so visually driven that it's an easy thing for men to do. I don't want to shame anyone that does use porn. I personally just look at it as a lack of self discipline more than anything however it can mask other issues and create or make problems worse. I don't think that porn ever actually helped anyone's marriage.
To the guys that use porn, especially the younger guys, you might want to read this and take note. Excessive use of pornography can cause impotence. The trend seems to be more noticeable for younger men.
http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/cupids-poisoned-arrow/201003/porn-goes-performance-goes-down
In short, guys stop using porn as a lazy alternative to your relationship. Spend the energy investing in your lady. Don't settle for lazy results but get out there and see if you can figure out exactly what to do to get her motor running. Gals don't freak if your man likes naked women. Just make sure he knows that you can be that woman he likes to look at and (**censored**) and don't get hung up if you have some extra weight. Trust me. It doesn't matter that much if you have the right attitude. I think 75% of what men get out of porn is the image of a woman who is as interested in sex as he is.0 -
I think 75% of what men get out of porn is the image of a woman who is as interested in sex as he is.
Agree 100%0 -
Men are pigs :laugh: The following always makes me laugh. Diary of a viagra housewife. Moral of the story...be careful what you wish for
Day 1:
Just celebrated our 25th wedding anniversary with not much to celebrate. When it came time to re-enact our wedding night, he locked himself in the bathroom and cried.
Day 2:
Today, he says he has a big secret to tell me. He's impotent, he says, and he wants me to be the first to know. Why doesn't he tell me something I don't know! I mean, he actually thinks I haven't noticed.
Day 3:
This marriage is in trouble. A woman has needs. Yesterday, I saw a picture of Nelson's Column and burst into tears.
Day 4:
A miracle has happened! There's a new drug on the market that will fix his 'problem'. It's called Viagra. I told him that if he takes Viagra, things will be just like they were on our wedding night. I think this will work. I replaced his Prozac with the Viagra, hoping to lift something other than his mood.
Day 5:
What absolute bliss!!
Day 6 :
Isn't life wonderful but it's difficult to write while he's doing that.
Day 7:
This Viagra thing has gone to his head. No pun intended! Yesterday, at Burger King, the manager asked me if I'd like a Whopper. He thought they were talking about him. But, have to admit it's very nice - I don't think
I've ever been so happy.
Day 8:
I think he took too many over the weekend. Yesterday, instead of mowing the lawn, he was using his new friend as a weed wacker. I'm also getting a bit sore down there.
Day 9:
No time to write. He might catch me.
Day 10:
Okay, I admit it. I'm hiding. I mean, a girl can only take so much.
And to make matters worse, he's washing the Viagra down with neat whisky!
What am I going to do? I feel tacky all over....
Day 11:
I'm basically being screwed to death. It's like living with a Black and Decker drill. I woke up this morning hot-glued to the bed. Even my armpits hurt. He's a complete pig.
Day 12:
I wish he was gay. I've stopped wearing make-up, cleaning my teeth or even washing but he still keeps coming after me! Even yawning has become dangerous...
Day 13:
Every time I shut my eyes, there's a sneak attack! It's like going to bed with a scud missile. I can hardly walk and if he tries that "Oops, sorry" thing again I'll kill the *kitten*
Day 14:
I've done everything to turn him off. Nothing is working. I even started dressing like a nun but this just seems to make him hornier.
Help me!
Day 15:
I think I'll have to kill him. I'm starting to stick to everything I sit on. The cat and dog won't go near him and our friends don't come over any more. Last night I told him to go and **** himself and he did.
Day 16:
The *kitten* has started to complain about headaches. I hope the bloody thing explodes. I did suggest he might try stopping the Viagra and going back on Prozac.
Day 17:
Switched the pills but it doesn't seem to have made any difference...Christ! Here he comes again!
Day 18:
He's back on Prozac. The lazy sod just sits there in front of the TV all day with that remote control in his hand and expects me to do everything for him. What absolute bliss!
Freaking Hilarious!0 -
This is a pretty easy answer.
IF it makes the SO uncomfortable, then it's cheating.
Simple as that.
If watching two (or three, or four) strangers humping on a screen is causing problems in the relationship, then the answer SHOULD be pretty simple.
If the answer is NOT that simple, then it is called "addiction" and someone should seek help.0 -
This is a pretty easy answer.
IF it makes the SO uncomfortable, then it's cheating.
Simple as that.
If watching two (or three, or four) strangers humping on a screen is causing problems in the relationship, then the answer SHOULD be pretty simple.
If the answer is NOT that simple, then it is called "addiction" and someone should seek help.
Hello! Your testicles called they would like to be let out of your wife's purse.
Cheating is vaginal penetration or oral copulation. Look it up its in the dictionary!0 -
It's all dependent on your relationship. What boundaries have you set?0
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Well, I would quote the Bible on what cheating is but, I doubt it would matter much to you.This is a pretty easy answer.
IF it makes the SO uncomfortable, then it's cheating.
Simple as that.
If watching two (or three, or four) strangers humping on a screen is causing problems in the relationship, then the answer SHOULD be pretty simple.
If the answer is NOT that simple, then it is called "addiction" and someone should seek help.
Hello! Your testicles called they would like to be let out of your wife's purse.
Cheating is vaginal penetration or oral copulation. Look it up its in the dictionary!0 -
Having soup is not an indication that I am no longer fond of pizza.
Well said! I personally don't understand why so many women are intimidated or threatened by their SO watching porn. *shrug*
I totally agree with this. When he decides to get naked so long as it's with me, I don't really care. Go to a strip club, watch porn, watch two people get it on. Don't care, so long as his body parts aren't touching some other girl's body parts.
To be honest, I'd be more worried if the guy thought porn was "naughty" and off limits. It's all about fantasy. So long as that's where it stays, don't really care.0 -
if i may. yes it depends on the boundaries, but some watch it for entertainment, some watch it to try new tricks. some watch it because maybe in the past they used to get alot of sex and then for some reason it stopped so now its not as much. so they watch it so they can *kitten*( if i can say that) and feel complete satisfaction. Not that they have to watch in order for them to go cheat, i never knew what Porn was until my wife showed it to me, and no i dont watch all the time, infact not so much.
But i know everyone says men are dogs, and yes we are but not to an extent to cheat because your spouse doesnt want it.
Sometimes sex is not everything , so yes back to the question, what boundaries have you set for yourself?
Good one EM CARROLL.
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This is a pretty easy answer.
IF it makes the SO uncomfortable, then it's cheating.
Simple as that.
If watching two (or three, or four) strangers humping on a screen is causing problems in the relationship, then the answer SHOULD be pretty simple.
If the answer is NOT that simple, then it is called "addiction" and someone should seek help.
Actually, I agree with this. In a committed relationship, each party compromises on things. Is giving up porn that difficult a compromise? I would not think so, not for a grown man. It's about respect. And when a man or a woman respect their SO enough to make that kind of compromise, I think it makes them MORE, not less. It's not about not having balls. It's about having the balls to BE a man and make a choice for something more significant than momentary gratification.
A dictionary cannot define a relationship. The definition in Webster's may describe the physical act, but cheating isn't really about sex. There are emotional and psychological aspects all rolled into it.
If a couple agree it is no big deal, then great. But if one or the other has a serious issue with it then I think that their wishes should be respected. Both parties should give one another that consideration and respect. Its about commitment.0 -
Yes , that makes sense too. true true indeed.0
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