lack of support issues

I've noticed a lot of people try to rely on others going with them when they start a new (generally short-lived) lifestyle change. If you have someone who will, and is enthusiastic about it, then great. If not, don't try to force people to come with you. We live in a society where _EVERYONE_ talks about losing weight and getting in shape, and ALMOST no one actually ever does. I guarantee that if you go and kick some *kitten* and start getting in shape, the people in your life who want to do the same will notice, become interested, and want to participate.

You can't expect to get other people interested in something when YOU have trouble doing it without support. When you become an enthusiast, and start enjoying what you are doing, everyone will want to be a part of it. That's just the way life works.

I tried to make my husband workout. I bought him a 2 year gym membership. I pestered. I nagged. I made snide remarks about him dying early and being a bad influence on our child and wait what, none of that worked. That's right. It didn't work no matter what I did or said and it made me feel bad on top of it and constantly brought to mind that he wasn't very supportive of me.

So I decided that I wasn't going to talk to him about health unless he brought it up. This was about 2 years ago when I lost 69 lbs after having our daughter.

I went to the gym. I worked out on my Wii and with workout videos. I looked for people at the gym that were at the same level or slightly better than me. People who went to the same classes as me week after week and I started talking to them. Then, I friended them on facebook. We helped each other. I used my mommy playgroup for support and anyone who mentioned getting on a diet or workout plan automatically got my attention and support at work.

I still have about 24 lbs to go and I did have a setback last year where I went up about 10 lbs but I'm back on track and it was the support groups that I built that reined me in when I started to slip back into old habits. I have been back at it for 40 days and about 10 days ago my husband joined MFP. He doesn't log regularly and isn't near as into exercise as me but he cut out soda and he is thinking of ways to exercise more and all without me nagging him.

So hang on to hope for him but also build your own base.

Support can be really tough. It's so much harder to keep going if you dont have someone pushing you all the time. If you are interested, I have a ladies only support group on FB. The group is private so only we can see what is posted and it's just a group of ladies being supportive and asking/answering questions. Send me a message if you're interested. We are always looking for new people

I hear you with the lack of spouse support. My husband does not want to put any effort exercise or eating right towards getting healthy. It is extremely hard not to have his support. He does encourage me with words but it is so much easier with someone there by your side who cares about their health as well. So I have to find the mind set that I need to just do this for me and not dwell on what he is doing. I continue to cook healthy meals so at least while he is here he is eating healthy. It is hard I know.

So I was going to the gym almost daily, stopped for a bit now being that it's summer and I want to do more outside. My spouse is just not willing to do anything with me, I find myself doing things alone constantly, also because my friends have much different work schedules than I. So what to do? How do I get him interested, he needs to get healthy as well and just doesn't seem to want to.

as the saying goes you can lead a horse to water but you can't make him drink. If your hubby is not ready, he is not ready. Go out and get yourself healthy, pretty soon I would think he would want to join in the fun and look healthy while doing it.

Personally I need someone with me to keep me motivated and not "cheat" away from the exercise etc. I'm lucky enough that my husband wants to change his lifestyle too and is eating healthily and exercising with me.

When I lived with my parents they would not help at all buying all sorts of crappy foods etc and didn't lose a thing just gained! Def need someone on the same page to get a better lifestyle with.

I think it would be great to have someone supportive.

When I lost weight before (after my pregnancy) my partner was slightly supportive and did comment upon the improvement.

This time however, he is being no support at all. I exercise alone and have altered my diet for myself. I swim daily and have found it helpful seeing the same faces every morning. He insists on eating whatever he wants and buys high fat items, biscuits, cakes etc.

It would be a lot easier if we were in it together!

my husband supports me, but he won't go work out either! He does have a job where he is on his feet & he burns way too many calories, so I understand why he won't join me.

My partner is the same, he kinda supports me but he has a very hands on job and doesn't want to waste £17.99 a month on a gym membership he doesn't need just to support me!
He does take me to the gym which helps as I can't drive but I find myself having to work out at home more and more as his support goes out the window. So I feel your pain with lack of support
He also doesn't like my healthy food and loves eating pizza, take away curry and fish and chips all the time
It's mean!!

I understand your desire for support. I too would love it if my fiance would join me. However, he has a very physical job and then does side jobs after work that are also very physical. So, he has zero interest in doing anything remotely like exercise when he has time off.

On top of that he is a serious coke addict. I've attempted to get him to drink more water with no progress. However the other day he had a horrible mid-back ache. It happened again a few days later and glory be, he wondered if it was because of the *kitten* load of soda he has been drinking recently. I was able to control my eye-roll and said that maybe he wanted to drink a bit more water and see if that helped. So far, so good...

Luckily, two of my sisters introduced me to MFP and we are working together to eat better and move more. It's not a buddy to go to the gym with but it is someone to keep me accountable and that is what I need most! We have a family history of obesity and I don't want to end up that way.

Perhaps if you set a good example he will see your progress and be inspired to make changes. In the mean time, you have friends and support here! :bigsmile:

I completed one round of P90X lean and a round of insanity by myself before my wife began to show interest in becoming more fit. Please note; that even though my wife would eat icecream, eat cookies and milk wile Tony Horton and ShaunT were beating me into the ground, she would ALWAYs let me know that she was proud of me and that she though that I was looking really good. Just a few months ago she introduced me to MFP. She seemed to really want to "go for it", so I signed up with her. She has done incredible! We both have stayed on a healthier eating plan, and have been walking no less than 2 miles every day. This is the exciting part. As of Monday, June 18 2012, Toghether we started a round of P90X classic!! and she is doing great! It's only been 2 days, but she has the drive and the determination.. On top of that she will always have me to support her. I tell her during the breakes in the videos that she is doing great and that I am proud of her. She has to modify a lot of the exercises just so she can "do soemthing" to stay active during the videos. but thats the key; just keep moving. My wife still smokes, but I am hoping that to will pass as time goes on. Please be patient with your partner, when he/she is ready they will join you. If not, then there are always others out there that would appreciate your words of incouragement and would love to recieve the same from you.