why are some people so negative about...
AgapeLove7
Posts: 29 Member
why do people tell you this when you've lost weight???>........... "YOU ARE TOO SKINNY NOW. YOU NEED TO EAT MORE. YOU ARE LOOKING PALE. STOP STARVING YOURSELF"........... I didn't realize how much mental work went into losing weight. It not only affects you.. but everyone around you........ and their true colors start showing. I am not going to listen to them anymore.
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Replies
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yeah i hate this. i recently made a comment over the phone to a friend who lives in another state that i was cold and closing the window. her immediate reaction was "that's because you're losing too much weight" :noway:
i was like no it;s because it's cold here. my building's heat is also on.
i know my friend is a good person but honestly i wouldnt be surprised if she werent just a wee bit resentful of my loss because even though she and i decided to lose weight together at the end of last year, i'm the only one who stuck with it.0 -
I feel like this stems from the media too. One day a celebrity is getting fat and then a few weeks later they are too skinny. It should really be about being healthy. UGH!0
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I think people are also naive about what healthy looks like. From the too skinny models to what is considered "normal" now days... I didn't realize healthy was really so small.0
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It seems to be an epidemic ... I think there are numerous reasons.
But I really think it is just ignorance on their part. "We" have strayed so far from what a healthy lifestyle is that it seems harmful.0 -
Because so many people are far too fat, the idea of what "normal" is has become hopelessly distorted.why do people tell you this when you've lost weight???>........... "YOU ARE TOO SKINNY NOW. YOU NEED TO EAT MORE. YOU ARE LOOKING PALE. STOP STARVING YOURSELF"...........
EDITED TO ADD: I deal with it by saying to myself "not only are you fatter than me, but you're also less well informed, hopefully one day both those things will change and I'll help you if you genuinely want to change, but meanwhile I can't help feeling a slight sense of superiority"
Hey, I didn't ever pretend to be nice!!! :bigsmile:0 -
Everyone has an opinion and they all feel like they need to express it! There is no "mind your own business" any more - everyone thinks everything is their business. In some ways this can be helpful and others not so much.0
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It's just a comment on change. I don't think it's anything very serious. Some people aren't good at giving compliments and most of the time that's what they're trying to do.
When I told close friends how much weight I wanted to lose they were shocked and worried it was too much. Once I explained my goal was at the top of my healthy weight range they understood better. Either they're being nice or don't really understand weight loss. Either way, they mean well.0 -
I spent my whole life listening to that. It's never okay to point out when someone is fat, but it seems to be socially acceptable to badger the skinny person. I eat A LOT and most people say that I must be starving myself. You will either get the people that tell you how great you look or ones that will tell you the complete opposite. Just do you. You'll never make everyone happy.0
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I think sometimes acquaintances/friends feel threatened by change.0
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Those comments are so annoying and just flat out rude! I've always been skinny and feel like I'm constantly getting negative comments like that or assuming I’m skinny because I don’t eat. Funny tho just went to the Dr. and nothing was said about my weight except its good.0
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Can be a number of reasons. I think the two most common are jealousy, and people being afraid of change. People are generally very resistant to change! And if they are insecure in themselves and see you getting healthier, they're going to try to take it away from you. I just learned to take what they say as compliments, I'm kind of sick like that hahaha0
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Everyone has an opinion and they all feel like they need to express it! There is no "mind your own business" any more - everyone thinks everything is their business. In some ways this can be helpful and others not so much.
I couldnt agree more with this statement tbh0 -
why do people tell you this when you've lost weight???>........... "YOU ARE TOO SKINNY NOW. YOU NEED TO EAT MORE. YOU ARE LOOKING PALE. STOP STARVING YOURSELF"........... I didn't realize how much mental work went into losing weight. It not only affects you.. but everyone around you........ and their true colors start showing. I am not going to listen to them anymore.
Easy....They're jealous that they can't lose weight themselves!!! Misery LOVES company!!! What I do??? I'd rub it in their face....smile and prance around with that hot body of yours!!! Screw everyone else....tell them to go kiss your *kitten* lol.0 -
Yes, you´re right. I use to be very skinny but unhealthy, now i´m bigger but healthy. I actually prefare that, in spite of it all. Though I have to say, that when I was skinny, I heard way more comments about my weight then I do now. It was always "eat more", " you´re to skinny", "you can take it" and so on and on.0
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I don't speak to my mother but my brother showed her a picture of my before and afters and she is convinced that I am starving myself and my husband is forcing me to do it.
True colors in deed. Some people just do not want to see you succeed.
Stay focused on your goal. That's all you can do. :drinker:0 -
Yes, this happened to me the first time I lost a crapload of weight (and I'm just going to prepare myself for it happening again when I get to my goal weight this time)...I came home from college for a wedding and before I knew it, rumors were going around that I was anorexic AND that I had slept with a drunk guy that I gave a ride home from said wedding (because I didn't want him to freaking kill people if he drove in the state he was in). When people have known you for a long time as the fat girl, they get uncomfortable with the notion that you can change so then they try to bring you down the other way. People suck; don't listen to them!0
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i get rather fed up with some people saying "you're losing too much weight too fast".. i lost 21lbs in 5 weeks, and as far as i am concerned, i look better for it, i feel better for it... someone who trains told me before i started "listen to your body" and i do! i work out almost everyday for between 2.5 and 5 hours, and i enjoy it. and i like the results, i dont care what anyone else says, if i felt ill or thought i looked awful (and i know what awful looks like) i would reduce the amount i do. been out for a meal on friday and tonight, and eaten what i wanted cos i know when i get back to gym tomorrow i will burn those cals off, it might take a couple of days more to get rid of the excess cals, but i will.. so pfft to anyone who dont like it lol0
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What I find rude are the people who ask me how much weight I've lost. When did manners go out the window? There are some things polite adult people don't ask one another - how much they weigh, how old they are, how much money they make being among those things. If people choose to share that information with each other, that is different, but a person shouldn't just blatantly ask out of the sake of curiosity. I've gotten where when someone asks me how much I weigh now or how much weight I've lost that I ask them how much they weigh. If they can be nosy, so can I. It is amazing the looks on their faces. Apparently a bunch of people thought the world was all about how much I weigh and they got a big surprise when I pointed out that it really is all about how much they weigh.0
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idk people suck.
op, you are beautiful!
that is all.0 -
Jealously and being uneducated! are the reasons they say those things. I had a family member say that to me and I said who is losing weight me or you? they said you are. that's right. who is not losing weight. they said me. I said until you are losing weight and practicing what you preach don't be talking to me:)0
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Well this depends. Sometimes they have really good intentions. I was too skinny once and people who loved me told me, of course I couldn't see it and thought they were being snarky. In retrospect I see it more clearly. Now I know what is healthy for me and if people comment while I'm healthy then I'll let it roll off me because I know I'm at a healthy weight. But if someone loves you it is worth considering what they are saying. To stave off any fears just tell them thanks for their concerns but your doctor says you are in a healthy range for your height.0
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It really sucks! Its rude and dissrespectful. These people have no idea how hard we work. They probably dont know what else to say so they judge instead of applaud and it probably because they themselves do not like seeing others succeed so they just want to say negative remarks. I get told all the time that I need to eat more and stop losing weight. #1 I eat more than I did when I weighed my heaviest and #2 I am aiming to be healthy and happy so if that means losing this weight then that is what I am determined to do! Dont let it get to you honey! You are better and chose health! Keep at it.0
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It seems to be an epidemic ... I think there are numerous reasons.
But I really think it is just ignorance on their part. "We" have strayed so far from what a healthy lifestyle is that it seems harmful.
^^^^^^^^TOTALLY AGREE ^^^^^^0 -
I hate people who hate things.
:laugh: :laugh:0 -
i choose to take these comments as left handed compliments and smile and shrug. I mean, we know its good, they do too... no matter how awkwardly it comes out. (shame and jealousy do nasty things to people's ability to communicate well)0
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Obesity is increasingly more prevalent in today's society, therefore people's perceptions of what a healthy body looks like are increasingly warped. Also, it's way easier to dismiss someone as 'too thin' than to accept that you yourself might be unhealthy.0
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I'm in the same boat here too! I just recently decided to stop loosing because everyone started saying the same things. I'm starting to try and tone up more, but the eating more and maintaining is hard. Mentally I mean. To switch off from the wanting to loose weight and eating healthy etc. I'm trying to eat more but my healthy eating habits make it hard to go over 1700 cals a day, and that is the whole point of changing life style while you loose weight. People around me just say well just eat more, force yourself, eat this and they point to something really unheatlhy. I don't think anyone around me understand, and it's hard, because sometimes it feels like I'm full and everyone wants me to eat more, or they see me make a healthy choice of a salad or something and they think i'm starving or am not full and tell me to eat some more. Sometimes I feel really sad. Yesterday someone told me that they hate when girls talk bad about their bodies when I told him I was chubby 6 months ago. He got really mad, and when I told him, I didn't feel comfortable being how I was before he became defensive and didn't let me explain. when people do that to me It makes me sad. I'm healthy and the don't like it.0
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It really depends on the person. Some do it because of jealousy, some do it because of genuine worry. I think sometimes ignorance plays a part because they don't know what a healthy body is supposed to look like. I'm at 160 at 5'2 (still no where near thin)and people tell me I need to stop "dieting. Some very rudely and others with concern. When I say my goal weight is 115 to 120, they think of the number as low. They know nothing about what you're going through, what you do.
I remember reading a poll/study about people underestimating whether they were obese or overweight so ignorance is a big big part.
Either way, just tell them you know where you need to be and are doing healthy. If niceness doesn't work, then be stern with them.0 -
They're also comparing "new you" to "old you" in their mind - especially if they've only ever known "old you". When you are successful in losing weight, folks have a hard time reconciling their image of you ("old you") with the slimmer, healthier version.
I lost 40 pounds a few years ago, and my boss, who always meant well, called me "Skinny" as a nickname. I was nowhere near "skinny" as I was still 30 pounds heavier than my goal weight, but I was a HELL of a lot skinnier than I was when I started losing weight.0 -
Because sometimes it's actually true. I've seen a lot of people burn off the fat AND muscle by going into starvation mode. It makes me worry about their health when they turn into skeletor.
As long as you aren't starving yourself and you aren't under weight, ignore the comments.0
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