Would you tell?
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If a friend was the cheater, I wouldn't tell their partner; if their partner was cheating and I knew, I would tell the friend. But it all depends on how close I am to them.
It all comes down to: I would want to know if my spouse was cheating on me. I would be pissed if one of my family members/close friends knew he was and never told me and I found out they knew.0 -
I understand what you are saying... she knows I do not like it or agree with it and that I feel she is making a huge mistake. Mostly we do not talk about it because she knows how I feel. I would not end my relationship with her because of something that doesn't involve me though.
What if it was the other way around and you knew her husband was cheating on her? Since she is your BF, would you say something then?0 -
Considering I caught my boyfriend in bed with his ex-girlfriend almost two months ago, I am a little sensitive to this subject. My heart was (and still is) totally broken! I wish someone would have told me so I could have avoided the heart break of finding the two of them naked in bed...Just saying!0
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Do nothing, nothing, nothing!!!! Cannot express this enough!
Must totally disagree with this. In my first marriage (long, long ago, in a galaxy far, far away) I had a cheater husband. The first person to finally tell me told me, but also said I couldn't mention it to him! Ha! I cannot tell you how humiliated I was that his entire company knew he was a big-time cheater, but I had no details. (Of course, I was getting the clues....)
I am still thankful someone finally told me and I could make the right decisions.
Question for you: are you still friends with the person who outed him?0 -
If there was absolutely no doubt about the cheating, I would talk to the cheater, tell him/her that I knew and ask them to tell their spouse. Or I would. Yes, it might start a war, but the unpleasant feeling of knowing and not saying would, for me, be even worse. And it would always stand between me and them both.0
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I was going with a guy for a year and a half, some people knew but it was on the down low as we worked together. He started seeing someone else behind my back and before I knew it people were referring to 'his girlfriend'. I got replaced and was somehow made out to be the 'side-chick'. I was absolutely devastated but made the effort to tell the girl what a ****ebag he was.
She's still with him now, and has since cheated on him. Tried to do her a favour but she chose to ignore it, she's welcome to him!!0 -
I've been on both sides of the fence. Both are damaging. So just ask if it's worth the scars.
Even if they ended up hating me, it's worth it to try and prevent them from getting sick. Only a worthless and disgusting person would ever risk infecting the person they were supposed to love with curable or incurable diseases. Nobody deserves to get a lifelong condition when it maybe could have been prevented if they'd been told sooner. There are only two situations where I wouldn't say anything at all and one of them involves prlonged terminal illness.0 -
I understand what you are saying... she knows I do not like it or agree with it and that I feel she is making a huge mistake. Mostly we do not talk about it because she knows how I feel. I would not end my relationship with her because of something that doesn't involve me though.
What if it was the other way around and you knew her husband was cheating on her? Since she is your BF, would you say something then?
No, but I would confront him and tell him the same things I tell her. As I said before... best not to get involved directly.0 -
I cut off all ties with my childhood best friend because she was cheating on her BF (who was my cousin) with some guy in the neighborhood. I couldn't tell him, though he found out on his own and broke up with her, but I did tell her that we couldn't be friends anymore. Unacceptable behavior.0
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tell0
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I wouldn't do anything, unless I knew the intimate details of the relationship (ie if I knew for certain that they didn't have an open relationship/marriage - swingers, etc). Since I don't really have those kind of discussions with my friends, chances are I would remain silent. If the person who was cheated on (if that is what the case ends up being) asked me why I didn't tell -- I would explain my reasoning. If they wanted to view that as a betrayal on my part - I probably wouldn't want to be friends with that person anyway.
If I did KNOW somebody was being done wrong I would tell - but in a round about way. Like mentioning that I saw the cheating spouse somewhere I knew they weren't supposed to be or say something about seeing the cheating spouse out with somebody and asking who it was (playing dumb, basically).0 -
Snitches get ditches.
True Dat!!!0 -
It depends on where my loyalties lay to be frank. If the cheater is my friend, I'll keep his/her confidence. If the one being cheated on is my friend, I would tell them. I don't have many good friends, but the ones I do I stick with, whether or not I agree with every choice they make in their life.0
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My best friend is cheating on her husband and I don't condone it at all. I tell her if she is not happy with him that she should just leave him. I like her husband, he is a nice man but doesn't treat her they way she needs to be treated. I feel kind of guilty because he is my friend also but I keep her secret because I know she needs someone to talk to. I hope she stops what she is doing. I won't tell him, it would be like betraying her even though she is betraying him....very difficult situation.0
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I have a friend who cheats on his wife - but is always careful, so STDs aren't a concern.
You can get some diseases just from kissing (depending on factors like bleeding gums, when infection period is and if symptoms have not yet shown) , and I doubt that he's careful enough to use multiple condoms and barrier methods when doing other activities just in case one fails.0 -
My best friend is cheating on her husband and I don't condone it at all. I tell her if she is not happy with him that she should just leave him. I like her husband, he is a nice man but doesn't treat her they way she needs to be treated. I feel kind of guilty because he is my friend also but I keep her secret because I know she needs someone to talk to. I hope she stops what she is doing. I won't tell him, it would be like betraying her even though she is betraying him....very difficult situation.
I agree completely!0 -
Keep your mouth shut. If the one being cheated on is your friend they arent gonna want to hear it from you and they will be mad at you and it will damage your relationship. If the one being cheated on isnt your primary friend in the relationship why do you care. Its a no win situation0
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When my friend was out of town I saw a girl come out of her apartment. I walked into to find her hubby naked and said just wanted you to know I saw that. He called her to confess before I had to say anything. Worked it self out.
But no I would not have told her.0 -
I have a friend who cheats on his wife - but is always careful, so STDs aren't a concern.
You can get some diseases just from kissing (depending on factors like bleeding gums, when infection period is and if symptoms have not yet shown) , and I doubt that he's careful enough to use multiple condoms and barrier methods when doing other activities just in case one fails.
Using multiple condoms can increase the odds of getting an STD. The rubbing of the two (or more) latex surfaces can cause small tears that are large enough to allow the transmission of various STDS.
The more you know.0 -
I have a friend who cheats on his wife - but is always careful, so STDs aren't a concern.
You can get some diseases just from kissing (depending on factors like bleeding gums, when infection period is and if symptoms have not yet shown) , and I doubt that he's careful enough to use multiple condoms and barrier methods when doing other activities just in case one fails.
Using multiple condoms can increase the odds of getting an STD. The rubbing of the two (or more) latex surfaces can cause small tears that are large enough to allow the transmission of various STDS.
The more you know.
No, I mean as in changing them whenever doing something else.0 -
If it was one of my real close friends, which I only have like 5 real close ones then yes
If its an acquaintance....hell naw because then you get stuck in the baby mama drama0 -
i would definitely tell.
and i would tell all their friends and family.
shame them into the ground.
=]0 -
I would tell. If my friend was being cheated on, I would definitely let her know. If she turns on me for it, then I would know we didn't have the kind of friendship I thought we had. Personally, I would not remain friends with someone who was cheating on their SO. It speaks to a certain lack in moral fiber with which I prefer not to associate. Don't get me wrong, I'm not some sort of prude, but if this person is willing to be so disrespectful and underhanded towards their SO, what are they doing behind your back?0
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No, no , no, no, no, I would not tell.
I did once, my sil was cheating on my brother. Who would have thought they both turned against me, saying I'd made it up to split them up. WTF.
Keep out of peoples lives, they won't appreciate it.0 -
If it was a close/best friend who was being cheated on, then I would tell them. If you're that close with someone, I would hope that the friendship would be strong enough to survive. I think it partly also depends what you say/how you say it and what evidence you have.. there's a difference between having a suspicion (ex. seeing a friend's SO once or twice with someone you don't know around town) and knowing for sure (ex. seeing the two of them making out together etc). If you only have a suspicion, depending on the friend/circumstance it might seem like you're trying to meddle in the relationship.
If my friend was the one cheating on someone, I probably wouldn't tell the other person (assuming that person is not a close friend of mine), I might not agree with it, but when it comes down to it - it's not my choice or my life, I probably don't know the whole situation and it's not my place to judge their actions.0 -
So on a side note to the whole "side chick" topic. If you knew a couple and you knew one of them was cheating (had been for a significant amount of time, one night fling, whichever).
Would you tell the other person in the committed relationship?
Would you talk to the one cheating to try to get them to stop?
Or would you do nothing?
Mind your business and sit your telling a@@ down0 -
depends of my realtionship with the couple. if I was better friends with the Cheater, I would call them out, ask WTF, and wait for the lame excuses. If I was better friends with the Cheated, I rat the cheater out.
but I agree that letting someone know this can slam back on you big time. A friend was all gaga over a guy who was in "law enforcement" but it was all hush-hush. He kept having to travel to a city across the state to work with a well-know anti-gang unit. When I informed her that the gang unit had been shut down 3 years earlier for corruption and was not in operation anymore, she freaked out.
She asked me to do a bunch of research on the subject so she could confront him. I was opposed to the idea because I knew it would end badly, but dug up the dirt on him none the less. She confronts him and it turns out *gasp* that it was all a cover story, because he was doing deep cover for the DEA and my research could get him killed and a 5 year operation was blown.
In the end, it turned out he was over $100 K in debt to Vegas casinos and worked for a company that did security work for large department stores. She still feels like I ruined her relationship.
On the positive side learned a valuable lesson if I ever become a playa: when confronted with a lie, come back with a even bigger lie. :laugh: :laugh:0 -
If I was being cheated on by my husband, I would want someone to tell me. I need time to put dead fish under the seats of his car, and change the locks. If my friend was cheating, I would say something to them that I know, I would hope they would do the right thing and fess up and work the situation out. If not....I might tell the cheated partner. And if I lose the friend, so be it. That's not the type of friends I want.0
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Depends. If it was a family member being cheated on, I'd be up in the grill of the person cheating. If it was a family member doing the cheating, I'd be up in their grill.
If it was a friend, I'd let it go. To me there's a difference with family and friends when it comes to relationships.
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Been in fitness for 28+ years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition0 -
Depends. If it was a family member being cheated on, I'd be up in the grill of the person cheating. If it was a family member doing the cheating, I'd be up in their grill.
If it was a friend, I'd let it go. To me there's a difference with family and friends when it comes to relationships.
I agree with this.0
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