Double standard (not sure what to title this)

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Charmed285
Charmed285 Posts: 189 Member
in Chit-Chat
I have been wondering this for the longest time and when I ask both genders for an answer, no one has been able to give me an answer, so I'll ask here. why is it when guys have more than one girl, he's cool and a "player", however, when a girl does the same she's something else; the girls get the names and bad reputation but guys get away with it. And sometimes, she doesn't have to be with the guys; just friends, but she still get labeled.

I never had a bf or friends at that, so I haven't been put in this position, but this still bugs me, as well as other things, but I'll stick with just postng this.
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Replies

  • catshark209
    catshark209 Posts: 1,133 Member
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    I dunno, and it's effing annoying. Though guys that go from woman to woman aren't exactly well liked either. But yeah women get the worst of it.
    God forbid one has friends of the opposite sex too.
  • littlepinkhearts
    littlepinkhearts Posts: 1,055 Member
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    Manwhore...manslut....i dunno, but i don't think they ever "got away" with it other then amongst themselves. I don't see anything flattering about them. Why? you wanna be ladywhore and not get called one. Be like them and just ignore the name-calling and get down to some dirty business and have FUN. :drinker:
  • Ariberri9
    Ariberri9 Posts: 206 Member
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    It's because of centuries-old societal constructs given to us by imaginary circumstance.

    When it comes to the "men vs. women" debacle concerning sexuality and expression thereof, society has been influenced by multiple sources. The first one that comes to my mind is religion. Through religion, we are taught that purity is equal to women who are modest, have no partners (or one partner for life), and suppress all sexual urges. Within religion, there are certain instances where the man is not held under these strict "moral rules". In some instances, the man is deemed "more masculine" if he can successfully gain more women and have more sexual experience than most men.

    There are multiple other sources for this line of thinking, but they need to stop. Sex and sexual expression are normal and should be acceptable for both men and women. Yes, one should make wise choices regarding sexual conduct; but one should not be limited by the outrageous, sexist societal constructs present today.

    And consider another thing: "sl*t-shaming" is more prominent in women and in men. These words -- gender-specific terms used to describe women that are deemed "too sexually free" -- seemed to be based around women. Even if you refer to an "overly-sexual" man, you refer to him as a "man-wh0re", which seems to be a male-adapted version of the original root word "wh0re", which is a gender-specific term aimed solely at women.

    Look at things extremely deeply, and realize how sexist the sexual world truly is. Granted, it's tough for both men AND women -- men face unique obstacles in the sexual world that we could never, EVER understand as women. But we women tend to face things embedded within society more often than men. From this point of view, it sees that we DO have it worse off. Then again, I have not lived my life as a male.
  • Charmed285
    Charmed285 Posts: 189 Member
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    No and I don't want anyone like that and nobody should do it, but it still bugs me. it bothers me that people do, and it also bothers me that it's a double standared.
  • HellsKells
    HellsKells Posts: 671 Member
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    Because life isn't fair.
  • shaynak112
    shaynak112 Posts: 751 Member
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    I still don't understand where this is coming from.
    I've seen both girls and guys looked upon poorly because they were sleeping with more than one person.
    And I've seen both genders get away with it.

    Maybe where you are from, is very old fashioned?
  • Charmed285
    Charmed285 Posts: 189 Member
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    Manwhore...manslut....i dunno, but i don't think they ever "got away" with it other then amongst themselves. I don't see anything flattering about them. Why? you wanna be ladywhore and not get called one. Be like them and just ignore the name-calling and get down to some dirty business and have FUN.

    No and I don't want anyone like that and nobody should do it, but it still bugs me. it bothers me that people do, and it also bothers me that it's a double standared.

    not sure how to quote to reply so I copied and pasted.
  • nas24
    nas24 Posts: 880 Member
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    Who cares? Honestly? If you want to get with an dude, and it makes you happy, do it! As long as your not turning up on Maury, testing 5 different dudes to see who your baby daddy is, then its not anybody's business but yours. Just wrap it up :wink:
  • HellsKells
    HellsKells Posts: 671 Member
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    I don't know where daytime TV would be without the awesome "Not the Daddy" dances.

    /random thought.
  • MooMooooo
    MooMooooo Posts: 306 Member
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    Which has more value?

    A key that can open a lot of locks?

    or

    A lock that can be opened by a lot of keys?
  • Jessaustx
    Jessaustx Posts: 130
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    Who cares? Honestly? If you want to get with an dude, and it makes you happy, do it! As long as your not turning up on Maury, testing 5 different dudes to see who your baby daddy is, then its not anybody's business but yours. Just wrap it up :wink:

    wise words. wise words.
  • Altarian
    Altarian Posts: 230 Member
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    it's always annoyed me the social double standards when it comes to this. As far as i can tell it's only really exist's in a Patriarchy, which is a vast majority of the world now. And it's especially bad in Puritan Patriarchy countries like here in the US. I personally say if you want to be with someone do it and forget what society say's is right. Government and Religion should have no say in your happiness.
  • victoria4321
    victoria4321 Posts: 1,719 Member
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    Because girls get pregnant and guys don't. Not knowing who the father is usually isnt a good idea. Guys always want to sleep with girls to so we have more to pick from which makes it too easy to be cool.
  • debussyschild
    debussyschild Posts: 804 Member
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    Back in single days, I had my fun... But I always limited my endeavors to people that none of my friends/colleagues knew. While I honestly don't care what guys think about girls who like to hook up, I cared very much about what other students I was studying with might think, me trying to be a teacher and all. For me, keeping my sexual exploits between just me, the guy, and a few of my best girlfriends was necessary for my professional image. Not to mention, I'm sure all the students in my small class weren't getting any and might become jealous... :devil: It's effing stupid that women have to "keep it classy" while men get to flaunt their sexual exploits, but in all honesty, that is the beauty of being a woman. Get in, get off, go home, and make sure no one's the wiser. It's called being a lady in the street, but a freak in the sheets, and keeping it that way has always been goal. :bigsmile:
  • debussyschild
    debussyschild Posts: 804 Member
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    I still don't understand where this is coming from.
    I've seen both girls and guys looked upon poorly because they were sleeping with more than one person.
    And I've seen both genders get away with it.

    Maybe where you are from, is very old fashioned?

    If the OP comes from some old fashioned place, then you might as well call most public universities prude as well. Especially in the younger crowd (college aged), sex is for sport among guys and they love to ridicule girls for beating them at their own game. What a crock!
  • AuddAlise
    AuddAlise Posts: 723 Member
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    I've never really cared. When I met my husband I had a few friends with benefits. I was sexually satisfied and couldn't have cared less what anyone thought.
    I guess what I am trying to say is WHO CARES what anyone else thinks? Do what makes you happy.
  • EDesq
    EDesq Posts: 1,527 Member
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    Come On! Don't you know why...it's as old as time. When men started making the "Rules"! HIS-STORY!
    A woman WAS expected to be a "Virgin" when she married, this is supposed to mean she is chase, honest...blah, blah, blah! A man WAS expected to have "worldly" experience, including sex with women...(Frankly, I never "got it" because WHO was he sexin to get this worldly experience.

    When men had ALL the "Power" they made the rules, and that was one of the rules...Mainly to guarantee Paternity, and also so a woman would NOT know how INCOMPETENT a LOT of men are in bed.

    A LOT of stuff in social and cultural structures are made to ensure Patriarchy. Some Good BUT MOST BAD! If you don't like that rule, then say the hell with it and have as many men as you can handle SAFELY! UHHH cause men can DO a LOT of damage when they think they "have" a woman and she is cheating.
  • littlepinkhearts
    littlepinkhearts Posts: 1,055 Member
    Options
    No and I don't want anyone like that and nobody should do it, but it still bugs me. it bothers me that people do, and it also bothers me that it's a double standared.

    karma....is all i can say...what goes around comes around and always will
  • jgunn81
    jgunn81 Posts: 243 Member
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    Which has more value?

    A key that can open a lot of locks?

    or

    A lock that can be opened by a lot of keys?

    Haha, I've heard this quote before, effin hilarious...

    But really, the "classical double standard" does not hold true anyomre...it's been proven
  • lolarit
    lolarit Posts: 76 Member
    Options
    It's because of centuries-old societal constructs given to us by imaginary circumstance.

    When it comes to the "men vs. women" debacle concerning sexuality and expression thereof, society has been influenced by multiple sources. The first one that comes to my mind is religion. Through religion, we are taught that purity is equal to women who are modest, have no partners (or one partner for life), and suppress all sexual urges. Within religion, there are certain instances where the man is not held under these strict "moral rules". In some instances, the man is deemed "more masculine" if he can successfully gain more women and have more sexual experience than most men.

    There are multiple other sources for this line of thinking, but they need to stop. Sex and sexual expression are normal and should be acceptable for both men and women. Yes, one should make wise choices regarding sexual conduct; but one should not be limited by the outrageous, sexist societal constructs present today.

    And consider another thing: "sl*t-shaming" is more prominent in women and in men. These words -- gender-specific terms used to describe women that are deemed "too sexually free" -- seemed to be based around women. Even if you refer to an "overly-sexual" man, you refer to him as a "man-wh0re", which seems to be a male-adapted version of the original root word "wh0re", which is a gender-specific term aimed solely at women.

    Look at things extremely deeply, and realize how sexist the sexual world truly is. Granted, it's tough for both men AND women -- men face unique obstacles in the sexual world that we could never, EVER understand as women. But we women tend to face things embedded within society more often than men. From this point of view, it sees that we DO have it worse off. Then again, I have not lived my life as a male.

    You hit the nail on the head. Boils down to social constructionism, how and why these ideas of 'truth' fester in our societies - in my opinion. Unfortunately the double standard still exists...

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