Would you tell?

Stay out of it!

Bump to read this later.... lost a friend due to similar situation

I am conflicted about this...it's a horrible situation to be in all around.

As someone who was cheated on, I wish that the people in my circle at the time would have told me as soon as they knew something. It would have saved me a lot of heartache and embarassment. In this case, his whole family knew, and knew for a LONG time - his sister finally said something to me. I was devastated that everyone BUT me knew...so not only did I feel betrayed by him, but by everyone else that knew and I trusted. It sucked, and it took a long time to get my balance back. Who does that???

As far as what I would do - it totally depends on the situation. One of my best girlfriends cheated on her husband. I did NOT agree with what she was doing, and let her know. However, I also knew what was going on in her marriage. Her husband had not been intimate with her since the birth of their son, via c-section. It was three years, and he wouldn't touch her because he was disgusted by her scar. He also ignored her when he was home. She was lost. Lonely. Depressed. And she fell for the first guy that started showing her affection. I love this woman - she is a sister of my heart - so I knew what she was going through...my advice to her was to leave the marriage. You can still be supportive and disagree with someone without being judgemental. And now I am still being a friend to her as she is realizing that life with the dude she cheated with is not the bed of roses that she thought it was going to be. It's a horrible situation all around.

Personally, I would want to know. As far as me telling, I would discuss the situation with the cheater before I talk to the person they are cheating on. With my friend above, I understood what was going on with her life, but I didn't condone the behavior. If things are so bad that you feel like you need to cheat, then at least tell the person you are with that you are miserable and get out. I hate divorce and what it does to families, but in some cases, it needs to happen.