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Stop trying... you have so much going on in your life with your child(ren) and stress etc. Worrying about calories burned and calories eaten are important but if you focus to much on them you will start stressing with out even realizing.
I have been at this for 2 years and to be quite honest, I didn't loose a single pound until I just stopped thinking to much about it. I still watch what I eat, I still weigh and measure everything but if I don't work out one day its no big deal, if I don't burn as many calories in a work out w/e its no big deal... and guess what started happening? I started losing weight, and am still losing.0 -
Stop trying... you have so much going on in your life with your child(ren) and stress etc. Worrying about calories burned and calories eaten are important but if you focus to much on them you will start stressing with out even realizing.
I have been at this for 2 years and to be quite honest, I didn't loose a single pound until I just stopped thinking to much about it. I still watch what I eat, I still weigh and measure everything but if I don't work out one day its no big deal, if I don't burn as many calories in a work out w/e its no big deal... and guess what started happening? I started losing weight, and am still losing.
Congrats on your weight loss.
Thank you for your input.
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GI stands for Glycemic Index...you can look it up on Google and learn tons about it
I have a daughter with Aspbergers ( a form of Autism) and a bunch of other disorders. Since the age of 3, she hasn't needed more than 3 hours of sleep, and by age 5, it was killing us. We felt lousy and were impatient/angry and unproductive. I know many, many people don't agree with medications, but we decided to put her on Trazodone for sleeping. It was literally our best move ever. She takes it at 8 pm and gets up around 6 am. She sleeps SOLIDLY thru the night now..and we are no longer so sleep deprived we are walking zombies.
It's a choice you have to make, many don't agree with it. For our family, it was a lifesaver
I wish you the very best of luck!!0 -
Just curious--sounds like you've tried everything except what your doctor and JC recommended. Why so resistant to their advice/assessment?
Not that I'm resistant, it just is not an option, I have severely handicapped child and one of the situations that occurs with his medical conditions is an inability to sleep so he will go 50+ hours or so without sleep - and as he is self harming, I have no choice other than to stay up with him.... and that happens a few times a month.
My only "choice" would be to institutionalize him, and I do not consider that a choice at all...
Okay, I can't believe I'm even starting this reply, but here goes.
I recently put my father (severe Alzheimer's) into a memory care facility. It was the hardest decision I ever made and I agonized over it for YEARS. Finally I really "heard" the adage that it's always harder for the care-giver than the cared-for to accept that "institutionalized" care can actually be better for the PATIENT, never mind how it affects the the care-giver. Placing my dad in a facility was, flat out, the best decision I have ever made. He is happy, loved and beautifully well cared for. And I get to sleep at night.
I am NOT saying that your son is anything like my father. I'm not saying that an institution is the best place for your boy. But I am saying that you owe to yourself AND TO YOUR SON to carefully consider whether an unhappy, unhealthy, stressed, sleep-deprived mother is the best care-giver for him.
Of course I'm sure you're mostly NOT that way, but still. It's worth looking at and thinking about. Just because you love him more than anyone else ever could, doesn't mean that others couldn't care for him equally well, while allowing you to care for yourself and be all the more "there" for him when it really matters.
Again, I am surprised at myself for posting this. Please accept it with the love it was sent with, and toss it away if it is inappropriate to your situation. I wish you all the best and applaud the incredibly brave choices you've made for your precious son.
Wow! This hit my heart. Brave, brave answer this! And especially heartfelt the last bit.0 -
GI stands for Glycemic Index...you can look it up on Google and learn tons about it
I have a daughter with Aspbergers ( a form of Autism) and a bunch of other disorders. Since the age of 3, she hasn't needed more than 3 hours of sleep, and by age 5, it was killing us. We felt lousy and were impatient/angry and unproductive. I know many, many people don't agree with medications, but we decided to put her on Trazodone for sleeping. It was literally our best move ever. She takes it at 8 pm and gets up around 6 am. She sleeps SOLIDLY thru the night now..and we are no longer so sleep deprived we are walking zombies.
It's a choice you have to make, many don't agree with it. For our family, it was a lifesaver
I wish you the very best of luck!!
Thank you for your reply
I appreciate the answer of what GI is - I did not want to play the google guessing game for definitions
Everybody needs to do what is right for their own family - I'm so glad you found some relief.
At this point the doctors would not recommend a sleep aid for my son as he is on enough daily medication already and because with his particular conditions they do not think it would be effective.
Thank you again for your response, and I'm so glad you were able to find something to help out you and yours 0 -
It sounds like you have more on your plate than most people can imagine. You're doing a great job, mama. You truly are.
Did I read it right that you've been trying to lose weight for a few years without any success? If that's the case, even though your yearly physical & general bloodwork says everything is ok, I'd press my doctor to dig a bit deeper. It doesn't seem possible to me that you can be at a caloric deficit (extreme or modest) for that long, stress and lack of sleep aside, and not see any results without there being some other as-of-yet undiscovered factor.
That said, if there truly is nothing out of the ordinary... I'd try to just let it go. You're highly stressed and chronically under rested. I'd focus on eating nourishing, whole foods at a small deficit (maybe a 1/2 pound a week?), supplement whatever you might not be getting with a good multi-vitamin and some fish oil or whatever you might benefit from, and do 3 days/week of enjoyable cardio + 3 days/week heavy strength training with a full rest day (maybe your respite day would be a good choice?). You're not terribly overweight (199 at almost 5'10" is what, 25ish pounds to lose?) so I'd try to shift focus from "getting smaller" to just getting as healthy as possible in the nutrition and fitness areas. The weight really doesn't matter compared to a healthy mom and cared-for children.
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The first thing is to cut down or out your sugar intake and preservatives. I get very little sleep for the most part myself, however I'm down 128 lbs in the last year and a half. It is possible but I've been on 1200 calories. 45 grams of carbs per each meal and eat every 4 hours (never longer between meals). Get the most rest you can but even without that if you can cut out or limit sugars, gluten and as many preservatives as possible then hopefully it will work for you too (even with 37 hour days) Basically take a diabetic diet and go all natural with it. Good luck.0
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It sounds like you have more on your plate than most people can imagine. You're doing a great job, mama. You truly are.
Did I read it right that you've been trying to lose weight for a few years without any success? If that's the case, even though your yearly physical & general bloodwork says everything is ok, I'd press my doctor to dig a bit deeper. It doesn't seem possible to me that you can be at a caloric deficit (extreme or modest) for that long, stress and lack of sleep aside, and not see any results without there being some other as-of-yet undiscovered factor.
That said, if there truly is nothing out of the ordinary... I'd try to just let it go. You're highly stressed and chronically under rested. I'd focus on eating nourishing, whole foods at a small deficit (maybe a 1/2 pound a week?), supplement whatever you might not be getting with a good multi-vitamin and some fish oil or whatever you might benefit from, and do 3 days/week of enjoyable cardio + 3 days/week heavy strength training with a full rest day (maybe your respite day would be a good choice?). You're not terribly overweight (199 at almost 5'10" is what, 25ish pounds to lose?) so I'd try to shift focus from "getting smaller" to just getting as healthy as possible in the nutrition and fitness areas. The weight really doesn't matter compared to a healthy mom and cared-for children.
Thank you so much for responding and your kind words.
Yeah I've been trying different methods for 5 or 6 years.
I've tried changing calories and different workout days - everything from 3 days a week to 144 times a week.
I've seen a few specialist and they all say the same thing about it being caused by lack of consistent sleep (or just sleep at all lol) and my high stress levels.
Internally I'm fit as fit can be - or so I'm told.
Thank you for the ideas and I'll talk to my physician again when I see her next.
My family is and has been my first priority and god willing it will always continue to be.
Thank you againThe first thing is to cut down or out your sugar intake and preservatives. I get very little sleep for the most part myself, however I'm down 128 lbs in the last year and a half. It is possible but I've been on 1200 calories. 45 grams of carbs per each meal and eat every 4 hours (never longer between meals). Get the most rest you can but even without that if you can cut out or limit sugars, gluten and as many preservatives as possible then hopefully it will work for you too (even with 37 hour days) Basically take a diabetic diet and go all natural with it. Good luck.
Congratulations on the weight loss - that is fantastic.
Sorry for the lack of sleep, I know how difficult that can be.
I will look into the ideas that you have mentioned - I've not tried a diabetic style diet because I've not wanted to give up fruit. the closest I got to that was the Jenny Craig where you are very limited on your fruit (like 4 whole strawberries for an entire day lol)
Thank you for taking the time to reply0 -
Bump...0
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Thank you for the bumpBump...
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I agree with the posters who are saying that you’re doing a fantastic job and kudos to you for everything you’re doing, both for your son and also for your daughter. I’m glad you’re taking time to workout for yourself and that you’re trying to eat right and just care for yourself physically…you ARE important! I also want to second the posters who encourage you to just do those things because you enjoy the workouts and KNOW that working out and eating right are good for you and they make you feel better. Try not to second guess yourself; you’re doing a GREAT job! Your weight loss, and other physical changes (or lack thereof) shouldn’t be a concern at this time in your life (I know, easier said than done). I wouldn't say that if you had given up and you were eating anything you want without working out. Knowing that you're doing the best that you can, I truly believe that those things will come in time and probably when you least expect it! God has a plan for you and you’ll find in hindsight that it was the perfect plan after all!0
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I completely understand.!!!!!! Lots of post asking why you don't reduce stress and get sleep....but as a sahm of 2 special needs children I know that is not always possible. I have to go on 3 hrs sleep for weeks to keep my sons safe and healthy.My dr. is always telling me I need to destress. How I ask ...he never has any answers. lol good luck0
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I agree with the posters who are saying that you’re doing a fantastic job and kudos to you for everything you’re doing, both for your son and also for your daughter. I’m glad you’re taking time to workout for yourself and that you’re trying to eat right and just care for yourself physically…you ARE important! I also want to second the posters who encourage you to just do those things because you enjoy the workouts and KNOW that working out and eating right are good for you and they make you feel better. Try not to second guess yourself; you’re doing a GREAT job! Your weight loss, and other physical changes (or lack thereof) shouldn’t be a concern at this time in your life (I know, easier said than done). I wouldn't say that if you had given up and you were eating anything you want without working out. Knowing that you're doing the best that you can, I truly believe that those things will come in time and probably when you least expect it! God has a plan for you and you’ll find in hindsight that it was the perfect plan after all!
Thank you for that - I'm sure your view is totally unbiased :P but no matter what you are always an encouragement, an inspiration, a best friend and someone I adore - love youI completely understand.!!!!!! Lots of post asking why you don't reduce stress and get sleep....but as a sahm of 2 special needs children I know that is not always possible. I have to go on 3 hrs sleep for weeks to keep my sons safe and healthy.My dr. is always telling me I need to destress. How I ask ...he never has any answers. lol good luck
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Yeah I never get answers on how to do that either lol
The lack of sleep is the hardest to me too.
Wishing you the best of luck as well!!!!!
and sending you a message :P0 -
Not sure if anyone else has suggested some of the reading available on this board regarding weight loss and eating your exercise calories. Check out the posts listed here: http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/23912-links-in-mfp-you-want-to-read-again-and-again and also here: http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/10665-newbies-please-read-me-2nd-edition
Hope this might be of some help to you.0 -
As a Mom of special needs kids I know that "reducing stress" just isn't going to happen.
I started yoga 4 months ago and while it has great physical advantages I feel that I just can't get through my week without the meditation portion of it. Maybe instead of working out your body you relaz your mind during that time. Learn meditation techniques and even if it is for 10 minutes it just might help. I know it won't hurt!
Hugs to you.0 -
Thank you so muchNot sure if anyone else has suggested some of the reading available on this board regarding weight loss and eating your exercise calories. Check out the posts listed here: http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/23912-links-in-mfp-you-want-to-read-again-and-again and also here: http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/10665-newbies-please-read-me-2nd-edition
Hope this might be of some help to you.
I have previously read those and they are very informative.As a Mom of special needs kids I know that "reducing stress" just isn't going to happen.
I started yoga 4 months ago and while it has great physical advantages I feel that I just can't get through my week without the meditation portion of it. Maybe instead of working out your body you relaz your mind during that time. Learn meditation techniques and even if it is for 10 minutes it just might help. I know it won't hurt!
Hugs to you.
Thank you for responding.
Yeah managing stress is a possibility , reducing it... not so much :P
I regularly practice yoga and agree that the meditation is a great help.
Thank you ((hugs)) and best of luck to you on your weight loss journey 0 -
Thank you for the mfpmails that I'm getting - I appreciate you all responding 0
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You said you exercise up to 2 hours/day, seven days a week. Unless this is something very beneficial to your mental health, I'd cut that back. You should have a rest day and with all your stress maybe limit workouts to one hour, six days a week. Unless you find it therapeutic.
Also, how confident are you with that 1500/day estimate? Is that based on long term, careful logging? Or eyeballing a few days here and there? Studies find people underestimate their daily intake by at least 30% most often. And they overestimate their activity by about the same amount, which makes it worse.0 -
You said you exercise up to 2 hours/day, seven days a week. Unless this is something very beneficial to your mental health, I'd cut that back. You should have a rest day and with all your stress maybe limit workouts to one hour, six days a week. Unless you find it therapeutic.
Also, how confident are you with that 1500/day estimate? Is that based on long term, careful logging? Or eyeballing a few days here and there? Studies find people underestimate their daily intake by at least 30% most often. And they overestimate their activity by about the same amount, which makes it worse.
Hello
My most standard workout is three days of weight lifting (Chalean extreme) 40min
One day of core training 60min, two days of aerobic walking 70 min and one day of pilates or yoga 90min which is not physically stressful and more like a day of rest to me.
I was doing 5/6 days of working out but I found myself more stressed and really sore after my rest day....
Yes I carefully track my calories, I measure and such and as I for the most part do all my own cooking I know what is going in my food - there are some things I do not track - like garlic powder or mustard but that's about it.
I do have days where I know I over eat or make unwise choices for food - but I figure as this is a lifestyle I would rather have them.
Only big dietary change that happens for me is I tend to go a month or two without any soda and then will drink (too many :P ) for anywhere from a weekend to a week, um and about a month ago I decided to try and cut most dairy out of my diet and see if that helps...
Thank you so much for responding 0 -
Well, it sounds like you're doing everything right. Is your scale right? Are you sleep-eating? Do you count the sodas and the days when you eat 'unwise'? I think some people don't log a binge here and there, as if it doesn't count.0
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Well, it sounds like you're doing everything right. Is your scale right? Are you sleep-eating? Do you count the sodas and the days when you eat 'unwise'? I think some people don't log a binge here and there, as if it doesn't count.
Yeah as I've checked myself on my parents scale - and also when I've gone to the doctor.
Sleep eating? I've never heard of that before, I'm going to assume it is like sleep walking
No I do not do that - either I do not sleep or when I finally crash, I'm out cold :P
I count my binges - embarrassing as they are - you'll find them in my food diary.
Thank you again for responding0 -
I just want to wish the OP good luck...you are one wonderful mama! 0
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I just want to wish the OP good luck...you are one wonderful mama!
Thank you so much!!!!! 0 -
bumpity bump0
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I would have to agree with the others...it is most likely sleep deprivation. i know when I don't sleep enough, it kills my loss. However, have you considered getting your thyroid checked out? Having a thyroid that is out of whack can cause the inability to lose weight.
I am a Special Education teacher and used to do respite care for a young lady who is severely autistic. Is it possible to get your respite hours spread out to more than one day a week so you have a little break each day... and take a nap?
I also give my son Melatonin to sleep...to help him stay asleep. It works wonders.
Ultimately, when I am struggling with something, I pray about it and give it to God:) I will pray that you find a solution to your problem. Don't worry about the things you cannot change.0 -
I would have to agree with the others...it is most likely sleep deprivation. i know when I don't sleep enough, it kills my loss. However, have you considered getting your thyroid checked out? Having a thyroid that is out of whack can cause the inability to lose weight.
I am a Special Education teacher and used to do respite care for a young lady who is severely autistic. Is it possible to get your respite hours spread out to more than one day a week so you have a little break each day... and take a nap?
I also give my son Melatonin to sleep...to help him stay asleep. It works wonders.
Ultimately, when I am struggling with something, I pray about it and give it to God:) I will pray that you find a solution to your problem. Don't worry about the things you cannot change.
Thank you so much for responding.
I have gotten my thyroid checked and they say my levels are great.
I get 30 hours a month so that is basically 7 hours a week - I found having two 3 1/2 hour days just did not give me time to do anything and it had to be split that way due to min hours worked rules - when I had 60 before all the cuts I was able to do two a week and that was great but that was a few years ago
Yeah I'm probably going to try and increase the melatonin dose...
Thank you so much - I'm not one to turn down prayers
Thank you again 0 -
As a Mom of special needs kids I know that "reducing stress" just isn't going to happen.
I started yoga 4 months ago and while it has great physical advantages I feel that I just can't get through my week without the meditation portion of it. Maybe instead of working out your body you relaz your mind during that time. Learn meditation techniques and even if it is for 10 minutes it just might help. I know it won't hurt!
Hugs to you.
Ditto on the benefits of yoga and how old is your daughter?0 -
Ditto on the benefits of yoga and how old is your daughter?
Thank you for posting
My son is 8 and my daughter is 7
And yes yoga is very helpful 0 -
b.u.m.p.0
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I have not read all the replies here so if someone has already said what I am about to say I apologize.
I have taken a look at your diary. The past week looks like you have eaten a lot of processed foods. Although you are coming in under your goal calories the calories you are consuming are not the best.
Try dropping the items that are produced in a manufacturing plant and eating more plant based items. More natural foods. If somethings has ingredients in it that you can not pronounce don't eat it.
Just my suggestion0
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