i'm depressed :( :'( n don't know what to do..

I know how you feel. I have over 100 pounds to lose and have always been heavy. I always tell myself next year im gonna be skinny and give up after a week of dieting because its no fun.. This time i am here and that is the first thing i needed was support so if you want to add me feel free. There are lots of people on here that have same situation as we do and are doing awesome. Remember you can do it!!!

Hey 60_to_lose,

I know what it's like to have a negative self image - I'm the same way. You shouldn't hate yourself because of your weight. You've come here, to this website/app to find support and to help yourself and that is a great first step. Be careful with those insane diets where you eat very little! I tried that once and it nearly made me sick and I wanted to pass out. Start making healthier choices with your food, watch how much you eat (don't eat until you're full!), and start exercising (at least a few days a week). My goal is to work out at least three days a week for at least 30-45 minutes per session while not gorging myself with food until I can't move. It's hard to get started and being desperate for results, but if you start now, you'll be thanking yourself over the coming months that you took the time to do this for yourself.

Don't give up!

-- Allison

Dear 60 to lose,

First of all you are NOT worthless. It is an awful feeling when you feel that way. I think it would be a good idea for you to speak with a counselor or therapist. Especially if you're keeping up a happy front to your parents. You need support from someone and sometimes it is easier to have it be a professional who is outside your real life and you know won't judge you. The throwing up especially worries me to hear about - and it's not helping you lose weight. Sometimes it can be a vicious cycle - we eat because we feel bad, and then feel worse because of being fat, and on and on. You need support to break the cycle. Also working out really can help with your mood, the endorphins are good for you. Don't put pressure on yourself to work out super hard, just do something active that's fun for you - try something new like a pilates or zumba video, go for walks in pleasant settings like a park - anything is a start and better than nothing.

It is great you reached out on here. please reach out offline too and get some support in person, from close friends, a therapist, someone! You are not alone.

Forget the water fast or any other weight loss fad - they don't work and will make you feel even worse about yourself!

First thing you need to do is stop being so hard on yourself! Second thing is set yourself small goals like walking for 30 minutes three time a week or some other form of physical activity that you will be able to keep up, you will be amazed at how much better you will feel about yourself when you get moving and meet goals that you have set for yourself! Baby steps and then you can start to progress!

I would recommend reading Secrets of a Former Fat Girl it will have lots of helpful tips to get you on track to where you want to be.

Good luck with your journey and remember to be nice to yourself!

Hello
I think everyone at some point in their life feels that way. You have come to MFP for a reason and if you stick to it, through the good and the bad, you will lose that 60 lbs before you know it.
When I joined MFP in April 2011 I was 245 lbs!! I hated the way I looked, the way I felt, and was always trying to hide myelf. Time is going to go on anyways so I decided to use my time wisely. I am now 162 lbs and for the most part I can wear what i want, I know people wish they looked like me, and my SELF CONFIDENCE is thru the roof. I am so confident, I am so happy, I am so proud of where I came from.

Has it been easy? no, have I gained weight? yes, but I keep on trucking and everything adds up.
Just use your time wisely this time next year you will be VERY glad you did. You can do it.

ETA - I decided this time I was going to make this a lifestyle change, not just follow a diet. So I eat carbs, I have cake, I go out for dinner, but I do it in moderation. If I want this to stick for LIFE it has to be realistic.

First off, dont purge anymore. If you feel thats the only way, try therapy....

You are young and the younger you are, the better your chances of losing that weight. You want to avoid being MY age with diabetes and trying to lose 50 or 60 pounds. However, you have to resign yourself to the fact that its still going to take time. As much as you want to go to bed and wake up 50 pounds lighter, it aint gonna happen. But you CAN do it.....any one can. It doesnt cost anything...thats a plus! All it takes is a determination and desire to be the person you want to be. Some days you dont want to go to work...or school. But you go anyway because you have to. Its a part of your life. So is this. Make it a part of your life and you will lose that weight....I guarantee.

I know how you feel. I'm 19 and I've got a ways to go too.

It's hard seeing those girls, how happy they must be, and then looking at yourself, miserable and 60 lbs above where you want to be. It rough for me too. It's tempting to stop eating or to make yourself sick when you see yourself as second best. But neither of those are safe and if you hurt yourself that way, you'll feel horrible afterwards whether you lose weight or not.

I'm glad that other people's comments are helping. If you ever feel the urge to do anything dangerous, message me.

As for suggestions, I really really like dancing so exercising with music is a must for me. Recently, I've started running while a watch television too. An hour passes by quickly that way.

And then, I haven't done it yet, but apparently if you do 40 jumping jacks, 30 crunches, 20 squats, and 10 pushups, that's 100 calories.

P.S. You should use tumblr. The weightloss/fitspo community on tumblr is really supportive too.

You have made a "positive" step forward by coming out and addressing the issue....and at 20, that is totally admirable. Trust and believe in yourself, and what this support group at MFP can do for you. Coming to the realization that you are not alone in this endeavor is a huge step forward....and as you read the success stories of the many that have chosen to use the MFP accountability program, BELIEVE THAT YOU TOO, CAN ACHIEVE!!!
I am in the over 60 gang....and this has been a boon to me to become involved with this group. Do as the others have suggested in their posts....plug in and find some accountability Team Members at MFP to help you when you get discourage....and you will succeed. You can "friend" me is you want.....we are all in this together. Cheers and Smiles!!!

hv 60 pounds to lose and i'm just 20!!!
i wanna be one of those girls, you know the girls whom we look at and say "oh! i wish i looked like her.", "i wish i could be that thin.", "i wish i could wear what she is wearing." :frown:
i just wanna wake up and wear anything without trying to think twice or hide under my clothes.. i dunno.. i just feel sick.. i don't want to but i throw up often after meals, i don't wanna say that i'm bulimic.. i just FAT.. I AM FAT AND I HATE MYSELF FOR THAT. but i don't wanna be fat anymore. i just don't know what to do. i've started working out, but i'm just not motivated enough. i don't wanna become stick thin, i just wnt to be thin and feel good about myself. :frown:
all this negativity and 'FATNESS' is affecting my social life too and even my studies are suffering. i'm not able to think anything beyond hatred for myself and my body, i cannot study, i don't feel like going out in public, i don't feel like talking to anybody.. i feel worthless. i'm tired of keeping a happy front for my parents.
at the moment i just feel like going on a water fast for the next six days.. maybe that will do some good to my body and will kickstart things.. :frown:

First of all, yes. I have been there. I lost 50 lbs using MFP. Took me two years. The first thirty came off pretty quick though- in about five months. All of what you said, wanting to hide your body, hating on yourself, etc. Been there. Done that. Sometimes I still do that....

Here's my advice: The #1 thing you have to do is stop being so depressed. You can't get **** done for yourself that is good if you are hating on yourself. Don't focus right now on how you look, or how you think other people see your body. Focus on what makes you happy. I guarantee there are things that would make you happy that are healthy. For me, it was surfing. Always wanted to learn, decided I didn't care that I was fat and signed up for lessons. Before I knew it, I was going surfing every weekend. I was happy. I was fat and people were checking me out in my bikini on the beach (it's amazing how much people are attracted to a "**** off I don't care what you think" attitude of confidence).

I also recommend trying running. It's not fun to do, but 20 minutes 3x's a week can work wonders on depression. And you will learn to look forward to what is known as "runner's high."

You said you don't feel motivated to exercise- that's from your depression.
Then you say you want to do a water fast- that is self-hating punishment. And it won't WORK. Starvation DOES NOT WORK...at least not long term.

Follow the guidelines on MFP. Do this for YOU. Not for boys or for your parents or for anyone else. You *will* get there if you stay dedicated. That's all you have to do. MFP will set you up with how many cals you should eat, you can work out and eat more cals, you can lose weight doing that. When you get closer to goal, it gets trickier, but by the time you get there, you will have enough friends on MFP to help you figure that out (or at least try to! I want to lose another 10 lbs and get my BF% to 17 and it's like rocket science! But I have no complaints that my bf% went from over 30 to 20 just following the guidelines here!)

My tip is to eat small meals throughout the day (every 3 hrs or so), never eat a huge meal and try to avoid resturants and fast food as often as possiable. i used to throw up after i ate sometimes also ( AND IM NOT BULIMIC EITHER) it was just that i couldnt control my self and ate so much that i felt sick and had to yuk... anyway.. dont get discurged if one day you mess up start again the next.. follow the MFP guide for calories IT WORKS!!! and if you follow it you dont even have to exercise much (even though u shoud... lol, i dont) stay positive and remember your, your worst enemy, learn to love yourself no matter what!!!

sounds like you a therapist to work on your mind first, then work on dieting and exercising.

if you don't fix your self esteem, you could weight 100 pounds and still not think you're thin enough.

crap. i missed the whole bulemic thing.

ED's are an entirely different story. If you have an ED you probably don't have to lose 60 lbs and you need therapy more than you need a diet.

Still, only log food you actually keep down. And don't you dare eat less than 1200 cals a day. I lost 50 lbs eating at least 1200 cals a day, and eating my exercise cals on top of that. The closer you get to goal, the MORE you have to eat (sounds crazy, I know).

ps. I have had an ED and I'm telling you that eating right is better than puking/starving. My BF% is lower and I am hella stronger and I look WAY better than I did when I was anorexic. Food is good for you....if you make good food choices. And the occassional slobber fest of chocolate and carbs and sweets and pizza is actually a normal part of the "journey"....I've had a LOT of pizza and baked goods on my path to lose all this weight. I just balanced it out with a lot of salads and regular exercise.

My advice would be this, take a look at the tickers under many of the people who posted here. We ALL have to start somewhere. You have 60 to lose I started with 160to lose!. Heaviest I have ever been in my life. In teens and early 20s i suffered from eating disorders also. Now I am obese... yup I said it out loud. I truly believe it is all part of the same eating disorder spectrum. You are 20 and you are lucky to have found MFP because in 20 years you could have been me! Do it the right way dear and you will succeed, and every lb you take off, remember you are on a journey that will set you up for life, if you take it off too quickly chances are you will put it right back on again. You CAN do this!