i'm depressed :( :'( n don't know what to do..

I will say this...it doesn't matter how much you weigh to love yourself. Clearly you love yourself enough to give MFP a try and reach out for suggestions and advice - give yourself a lot of credit for that! :flowerforyou:

The suggestions and advice you've gotten here already are a fantastic place to start! Truly, truly, it's about taking things one day at a time. Have some confidence that you CAN do this, and you'll have more gentle and beautiful thoughts about yourself. That's what attracts people to you, not your size.

I've been "skinny" and "one of those girls" and I've been heavy throughout my life too (a life long battle, really) and trust me, your body size doesn't = being happy. "Those girls" can feel just as crummy on the inside no matter how "awesome" the outward appearance.

Yes, seek counseling if you're depressed/purging. That's not reasonable, healthy or sustainable. Making choices each day that fuel your body & spirit ARE sustainable. Take it hour by hour if you must, and be kind to yourself along the way! Nobody expects you to be perfect, this is a learning journey that will last a lifetime. Just do the best you can each day, and remember that your best each day will fluctuate. If you "do it right" 80% of the time, you have PLENTY of room to throw in some splurges along the way, too!

Best of luck to you!!

Honey, most of have felt the desperation you're now feeling. Take baby steps. Start logging your food and start moving. Before I started about 6 weeks ago I could only think of the 50 pounds I needed to lose. It seemed overwhelming at the time. Hearing other people's stories on MFP gave me strength to know I could do it - little by little. I post my weight loss ticker because it gives me encouragement and in a weird way accountability - although I think I didn't post it until I lost 2 or 3 pounds.

Please don't eat & purge. You can damage your heart that way.

have faith in the mfp program. give it time. be proud of yourself for taking the steps to become healthier. don't expect results over night, this is about changing your lifestyle to becoming a healthier you. it is hard at first, but it gets easier as you adjust. find a way to contain your anxieties- go for a long walk, talk a hot bath, relax. and if you cannot then look for help from a counsellor. you can do this. deep breaths.

THIS^^

The program WILL work! It does take time and discipline. I thought I ate good but when I started to track my foods I realized what I was eating and started making better choices. I thought I was fit and strong, but when I tracked real exercise as opposed to what I just did at work (restaurant server) and started a workout program, I realized I wasn't what I thought I was.

Changes are the hardest things to make---and while you want to make changes to your body, you need to FIRST change how you THINK! If you are THINKING you are fat and ugly, then you will BELIEVE it. If you THINK "I can't do this" then you won't be able to do it. Start by changing your thinking process: There is a thin person in me screaming to get out and I'm going to let her! I can do this, even though at times it will be hard and I may have set backs. ONE set back or bad day does NOT mean you are a failure.

Please feel free to add me if you'd like a little support, or just someone to talk with. I can't promise to fix anything, but I can promise to listen and share what has worked for me and my own struggles. That is what MFP is all about! Hang in there! YOU CAN DO THIS!!!!:flowerforyou: :flowerforyou: :flowerforyou:

There is a lot of pressure from society about our image.please take steps in the process of loosing weight.behind our image the most important is who we are in the inside, don't let the weight makes you sad.Is it with p thatatience and encouragement from each other that we will make it.please be happy.oEne step at a time.