Depressed :-(

Tiffany, welcome to MFP, and hopefully you will find some supportive people on here.

Congratulations on your wedding, and your husband-to-be sounds lovely.

Realistically, you're not going to see dramtaic changes in 12 weeks, but if you're perpared to put in teh work for the long haul, then you WILL see results.

Why have you found it difficult to stick to diets?

You can eat at a calorie deficit without giving up pizza and soul food and sweets! You just have to eat less of it. You can do this. Don't try to make it a total all-or-nothing overhaul of your eating habits. Keep eating the foods you like but eat less of them and try to eat out less often. Try having a healthy breakfast like oatmeal or eggs and a healthy light lunch, and then having a half portion of soul food or whatever for dinner. If you don't like chicken, salad and fish, don't eat them. It's not as hard as you're making it!

I think it's difficult for me because I get tired of eating "diet" food .....chicken, salad, fish. I crave meals like rice and gravy, shrimp creole, jambalaya and good soul food (I live in Louisiana and love to cook). I think 2 weeks is the longest I can go without having something sweet or going out to eat or ordering Papa John's pizza. I know this isn't a good thing, but if I'm being honest, that's it.

You don't have to cut these things out, you need to learn how to work them into your daily calorie limits, or allow yourself a meal a week where you enjoy without guilt. Also, since you love to cook, find ways to make the foods you love a little healthier. You need to make this a lifestyle change to continue and sustain your weightloss goals. Good luck, you can do it! You may not be at your goal weight by your wedding date, but you will be able to see and feel a difference by starting today!

I hope my story can help you with your journey here on MFP.

I also struggled with "diets" all my life because I just couldn't give up certain foods (soda, pizza, Olive Garden).

When I joined MFP, I weighed 265 lbs and wore a size 22 in pants and 3X in tops.

I treat my calories like my bank account. I try to stay in the green as much as possible, but I do not deny myself any foods. If I have the calories available for a coke, I drink a coke. The difference is, now that I can see just how much a coke effects my calorie limit, I stick to just one coke instead of 5 cokes.

There are going to be up days and there will be down days, but with consistency and patience, you WILL see results. I just passed my 110th day of logging in here and this is where I am now:

I weigh 242 and I can wear a size 16 in pants. My tops are now only 1X and I can buy an XL in a regular store.

I previously could only run for about 3-5 minutes at a time and then needed to walk. I can now run over 30 minutes straight without having to take a walking break.

My family has noticed a change in my attitude with food. Being more aware of what I'm putting in my body helps me to make better choices. I don't look at this as a "diet" but more of an eye opener.

Lastly, you will find some AMAZING support on here from the users and their stories. Look at the Success Stories for before/after pictures. It will truly leave you inspired and wanting to go out and start sweating!

Good luck and please, feel free to contact me if you want some motivation/support on here. :flowerforyou:

Tiffany,

If you want some healthy meal ideas, check out my wifes blog. She has quite a few recipes there that are delicious and filling.

http://allpatchedupquilts.blogspot.com/


Jared

Congratulations on your upcoming wedding. Your fiance sounds like a great person! I also get depressed a lot about my weight but in the short time I have been on MFP (15 days) I log on every day whether I have been good or bad just to get that little bit more inspiration and determination.

Good luck with everything and have an AMAZING wedding. Feel free to add me as a friend if you would like to.

From this point forward. There are NO MORE DIETS! This is a life style make over! You're doing this for you and you are WORTH IT! Every small change adds up to great big ones.

@Tiffany0925

First off, congrats on your up coming wedding. Your groom sounds like a wonderful man. I know you don't want to burden him with your problems; however don't keep from knowing. Encourage open communication about everything. You will find you will learn a lot more about each other and your intimacy (non sexual) will increase exponentially. A good movie you two can watch together is, Not Easily Broken. I think you and him will like it a lot.

As far as depression ..... I have suffered with clinical depression most of my life. I noticed, just like you, it was worse when my body fat levels increased. I do understand the lack of motivation, extremely low self esteem, lethargic and so forth. At one point a few years ago I was suicidal. While I will continue to struggle with depression for the rest of my life, I know the benefits to healthy living and being physically fit. I also know if I don't find a way to fight my depression it can be detrimental to my health.

I have used a combination of therapy, anti depressants, proper eating habits, and exercise to combat the depression. If you are unable to afford the costs of therapy and medicine I do understand. Most therapist will encourage exercise and proper diet as part of the recovery process. Exercise will stimulate the release of endorphines which will elevate mood. Over time, self confidence comes back, etc and depression can be better controlled.

You can safely loose 18-24 lbs in 12 weeks based on healthy weight loss recommendations. Some individuals loos more. Some less. As a former personal trainer of 17 years, I tended to tell individuals NOT to look at the scales too much. Your body mass is simply your body mass. BMI calculations are, while helpful in some cases, should only be used as a "general" reference and not a tell all. BMI is based on height, weight, and age charts.

A case in point: a buddy of mine while in the Navy was being processed to a medical discharge based on being to heavy and having a high BMI. While his superiors wrote letters in dispute of this, the Navy Department still sent someone from New Orleans to our ship in the Indian Ocean to "have a look" at my friend. To his surprise, he noticed my friend was in perfect health, as well as, being a body builder.

I would advise to have your body fat measured at your local fitness center. If you are not a member somewhere, you can probably have it done at your doctors office or your next OB visit. If that isn't possible, the best possible way for you to gauge your progress is how do your clothes fit on you. If they are getting looser, then you are making progress.

I can offer you some assistance on your exercise program; however I am NOT a dietary expert. I tend to take the approach of making minor adjustments to the foods you eat and eat in moderation with 5-6 smaller meals throughout the day. The body is better able to break down several smaller meals more efficiently. That way you are not storing a lot of excess energy in body fat.

Just think of food as fuel for your car. In theory, the higher octane gas is better for engine efficiency, horse power, internal cleansing of moving parts, etc. The same applies to the foods we eat. The better the fuel, the better we function metabolically.

By increasing your physical activity, or altering what you are currently doing and including strength training exercises, will cause an increase in metabolism which will lead to an increase in energy production through fat burning. Not only that, as you gain strength, your muscles will tone and start to look better then "Whoopie!!!!!" you have your bikini body back.

I have also read some great comments regarding goal setting. Remember, you can only read a book on sentence at a time, not the whole book at one time. If one focuses on the entire project it can seem daunting. Keeping realistic daily or weekly goals will ensure you are successful.

Feel free to send me a message if you are needing assistance. My credentials are on my profile. I will need a lot more information to help you.

Anyone else reading this ..... fell free to contact me if you need help, too.

Again, congrats on your up coming wedding.