How do I get over the embarrassment of being at the gym?

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24

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  • thrld
    thrld Posts: 610 Member
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    I'm very awkward and such and I'm really uncomfortable going to the gym when there are a lot of people there. Because I feel as though I'm doing something wrong or they're judging me because I don't exactly know what I'm doing and my size... How do I overcome this fear so I can get a good workout in? Also I'm a little intimidated by all of the other girls (it's a women's gym) who are so fit and sure of themselves, again how do I overcome this? Also there is this really cute trainer there and he's intimidating as well and I'm afraid to look foolish in front of him, how do you just get over these petty fears so I can become healthier? It's pathetic, I realize…

    Question: Have you noticed anyone at the gym who seemed awkward while working out? No. Because you are concerned with your own work out. That's how it is for 99.99% of the people at the gym. They don't see you, they have no opinion of your performance. You need to move past your self-consciousness, there is not one person at the gym who has an opinion of you, and the only opinion that would matter is yours. A trainer is a fine idea to get you familiar, get you a routine and keep you from feeling isolated.

    And take a look at some of the success pix posted on MFP. If you ran into these people in a gym, would you feel intimidated? Well, they've ALL been where you are at today, and they all understand how difficult it can be (and they all look like they know what they are doing). You have no way of knowing that those ladies at your gym haven't been in your shoes, and maybe they all are secretly thinking "you can do it" because they too have made that journey.
  • divinebird
    divinebird Posts: 81 Member
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    I second the suggestion of putting on your headphones and just do your thing. Zone out of the rest of the room because a) they don't matter and b) as someone else said, they're all focusing on THEIR bodies.

    Also, if you have a friend, go with them! It's best if the friend is of a similar weight/goal to you so you don't feel inferior (not that you should, but you know what I mean). I work out with Tilinka (also here on MFP) and we motivate each other. I know I wouldn't get half as much done if I didn't have her there!
  • starracer23
    starracer23 Posts: 1,011 Member
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    Get over it! :)
    Everyone has to start somewhere...
    Strike up a convo with a "fit girl" - ask for some tips/advice.
    Or just pretend that you are alone and get 'er done.
    You are there to get fit/healthy....who cares about everyone else :D
  • wantstolooseweight
    wantstolooseweight Posts: 166 Member
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    Personally if you dont feel comfortable there I'm going to tell you to go round your local area, check out all the gyms and find the one that feels the most friendly.... I go to a proper old fashioned spit and sawdust gym simply for that reason... the guys and girls who workout are friendly and the staff are lovely, they will chat ask you your goals give tips and advice. Its a strongman gym... looking at it I would have never thought it was for short fat girls like me but honestly everyone there is there to get fit/loose weight and everyone there started somewhere and they all remember that fact.

    Good luck :-)
  • Angie_1MR
    Angie_1MR Posts: 247
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    If you are totally unfamiliar with the equipment, you need to hire a trainer. Often a lot of gyms will give you a free training session if you are a new member.
  • DMarieLVT
    DMarieLVT Posts: 71 Member
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    Just keep your head high and know that you are doing this for YOURSELF -- no one else. It will take a time or two to get comfortable, but after a while you will get such a rush from a good workout, that it won't even matter anymore ;) Good luck!
  • ARDuBaie
    ARDuBaie Posts: 379 Member
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    Just realize that when all those other people started at the gym, they all didn't look as good as they look now. And you will soon be 'one of them'.
  • Deltafliers
    Deltafliers Posts: 201 Member
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    Let's see, I get that same way, and it doesn't help me that I utilize military gyms, so now not only do I feel out of shape and awkward, I also feel like I have a bunch of soldiers jusging me. Granted, I doubt this is true, especially since by going to a gym I am showing I care enough to mak a difference. I don't have the money for a personal trainer, and there are some machines I still can't bring myself to use (like the treadmill).

    This is what I have learned works for me: try to go to the gym during slow hours if possible. And the headphones are important too; crank up the volume so you can't hear much else!!! Also, go to the front of the room (weights might be different). When you go to the front, others may be able to watch you, but with the volume cranked on your music there is this wonderful thing called out of mind out of sight. When you using the cardio machines, I also set them to weight loss when they have pre-determined functions. This allows me to work hard enough where I need to focus on finishing, but since they usually involve intervals, I get a break, and look like I can handle myself also.

    ps: if the weight room is busy when I go, I still can't bing myself to use it when crowded, and I usually find a cardio machine to use instead. Also, my gym offers certain exercice classes for free, and they tend to be small so I am thinking of taking some of the weight geared classes like trx or gravity.
  • charanne52
    charanne52 Posts: 88 Member
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    I tend to feel a bit self-conscious as well when I'm in a new situation (like the gym would be for me). Why don't you take a friend along with you for the first few times until you get acclimatized? Or else, sign up for exercise classes at your local community centre where you might feel more comfortable. Regardless, only a real jerk would criticize you for trying to improve your body image - it is far more likely that the "confident" people there would applaud your efforts.
  • spartangirl79
    spartangirl79 Posts: 277 Member
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    Just remember that gyms are beautiful havens of self-centeredness. No one's looking at you. They're looking at themselves. You just put on the headphones and do your thing.

    What he said. :)
  • secretlobster
    secretlobster Posts: 3,566 Member
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    I was the fat girl at the gym too. It's a sucky feeling, but if it is so intimidating that it keeps you at home, you either need to figure out how to work through it, or get your exercise somewhere else.

    Many, if not most, of us at the gym have been overweight ourselves. Judging you is the furthest thing from our minds. I barely notice other people at all.
  • rsboyd
    rsboyd Posts: 12
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    Just tell yourself that everybody there had to get started near or at the same place you are. Very few walk into the gym in top shape.
  • myfitnessnmhoy
    myfitnessnmhoy Posts: 2,105 Member
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    Also there is this really cute trainer there and he's intimidating as well and I'm afraid to look foolish in front of him, how do you just get over these petty fears so I can become healthier? It's pathetic, I realize…

    First, it's not petty. It's the way you feel, and that's never petty. "Petty" would be to avoid the gym over it.

    Second, there are two kinds of people who go to the gym (some people are a little of both kinds). There are people who go to show themselves off and judge others, and there are people who go to use the equipment they are paying for in order to improve their fitness.

    The only advice I can give is to be one of the latter and ignore those of the former.

    And as to your trainer, your trainer is (hopefully) a professional who is trying to teach you things. Ask questions that reveal ignorance, because the alternative is remaining ignorant. Make the most of your time with them, and if something is unclear call them out on it and ask for it to be made clear. The last thing you want to do is hide ignorance and not learn proper technique for some exercise because you're afraid of looking foolish.

    But mostly, a lot of people in the gym see someone just starting out, working up a sweat, putting it out there and making themselves better, and we think "you go, {guy|girl}!" Most of us have been there, many of us for FAR too long, and we've learned to recognize, appreciate, and admire the effort it takes to overcome gym-fear. Most of us will also remain silent because we understand that, had anyone said anything to us when we first started out, we'd probably think it was sarcasm and scurry from the gym in mortal fear, never to return.

    You've got more silent cheerleaders out there than you think.
  • slepygrl
    slepygrl Posts: 249 Member
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    It doesn't matter who you are or where you work out people will judge you. My favorite saying is Feel the fear and do it anyway.
    Try to open and friendly. You're not at the gym for other people. This is ALL ABOUT YOU!!! Do your work then go home. And if people are rude, tell them to kiss your ample *kitten*! :-)
  • bizgirl26
    bizgirl26 Posts: 1,808 Member
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    Spend the money and/or time to hire someone and get familiar. I am thinking it's the combination of not feeling like you know the equipment 100%. Believe me it will help with your confidence.
  • vvanm
    vvanm Posts: 157
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    Life is about learning and until you know what you are doing you will feel a bit awkward. Everyone does! They were all where you are right now, beginning new healthful habits. In a few months you will blend in and when you see the next young woman looking a bit out of place, give her a smile and some helpful hints.
  • Martin1946
    Martin1946 Posts: 22
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    I do the YMCA/YWCA also and find there is no pressure to look the skinniest or bulkiest

    My original trainer motivated me by saying that most people working out are into themselves and don't even notice other people. That helped me at the beggining.

    Now that I am at a good weight if I should see overweight people I applaud them because you have to start somewhere and a lot of us were at that point in the begining.

    Just keep to your goal and don't worry about what others may think, even if they are aware of you
  • michelec64
    michelec64 Posts: 120 Member
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    You paid good money for your membership so you have just as much right to be there as anyone else. Do your workout and don't give anyone else a second thought. With the exception of a few busybodies with nothing better to do, everyone is so focused on their workout that they're not really paying attention to you anyway. So put on those headphones and work up a sweat. And even though the previous posters have said it, it bears repeating: just by being at the gym you're way ahead of those who won't get off the couch.
  • Blagace
    Blagace Posts: 1
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    I think it's awesome your taking action of your life!! Just remember you’re at the gym for yourself. If you’re not sure you’re doing something correctly ask questions. If I’m not sure I’m doing something correctly I will ask a trainer or someone that looks like they know what they’re doing. I haven't met a person in the gym that was rude to me when I asked for advice or help. Also you can go to www.bodyduilding.com and they have video tutors on how to do an exercise properly. Don't be intimidated about the name. It's not all about body building..:happy: I hope this helps you good luck with your journey.
  • isis2triple0
    isis2triple0 Posts: 106 Member
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    First off this is not pathetic!! Second Congrats on wanting to be a fitter healthier you!! Put your music on and pay no attention to them believe me I know it's hard!! But, this is about you and your life, visualization is a powerful tool imagine or create the health version of you (how you want to look with out all the fat) while in the gym imagine you already look like this even when you look in the mirror SEE HER!! Not sure about the equipment can't afford the trainer? No problem go on YouTube look up people like Cliftafit, or your favorite top fitness model you can find tons and I do mean tons of training videos for all types of gym equipment and body parts one of my favorites Flavia Delmonte has a dvd pack you can even order for great gym routines and diet! You can do this your already on your way just keep going!!

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