How do I get over the embarrassment of being at the gym?

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  • sarahrbraun
    sarahrbraun Posts: 2,261 Member
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    I'm very awkward and such and I'm really uncomfortable going to the gym when there are a lot of people there. Because I feel as though I'm doing something wrong or they're judging me because I don't exactly know what I'm doing and my size... How do I overcome this fear so I can get a good workout in? Also I'm a little intimidated by all of the other girls (it's a women's gym) who are so fit and sure of themselves, again how do I overcome this? Also there is this really cute trainer there and he's intimidating as well and I'm afraid to look foolish in front of him, how do you just get over these petty fears so I can become healthier? It's pathetic, I realize…

    I was 228 pounds of blubber when I started at the Y, and there is a cute trainer there too--he's there M-F! I just went in and did my thing, and after about 6 weeks, he started smiling at me and saying Hi when I came in. We have had several conversations the last month or so about stupid random stuff :D
  • Hotanuri
    Hotanuri Posts: 53
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    I get self conscious too. So I just think/pretend that all the fit girls at the gym once used to be me, so that helps motivate me to do the workout, even if it's awkward.
    And shame on anyone who tries to judge, because you are showing the world that you are not giving up, you are working to improve your health. You're at the start of your journey, where as they're just further along.
  • thescrumisfun
    thescrumisfun Posts: 355
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    Just go at it, girl! Like an above poster mentioned, no one is looking at you - they're too busy focused on their own workout. And if someone is judging you, let them. You're there to improve yourself and that is all that matters. If you feel like you're really doing something wrong, don't be afraid to politely approach a member and ask for help. You may even make a new friend or work-out buddy by doing so! Also, remember this: just because someone looks sure of themselves doesn't exactly mean that they are. Go do you :).
  • BeanQueen3000
    BeanQueen3000 Posts: 161
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    Just remember that gyms are beautiful havens of self-centeredness. No one's looking at you. They're looking at themselves. You just put on the headphones and do your thing.

    This, for sure. If they do manage to notice you past the haze of their own workout, they're more likely to be thinking "i remember being there-- good for her for starting" than judging you. I'll also second the suggestions of joining a YMCA rather than that kind of club, and taking advantage of time with personal trainers to acquaint you with the machines and give you a solid idea of what a good workout looks like. They're there to work for you and be helpful, and people with enough personal fitness to be trainers seem to enjoy a good challenge.

    I've been a sedentary night shift loner for a long time, but i have to say; getting comfortable in my gym has been the best decision i've made in a long time. The Y is my happy place, now.

    go WERK.
  • TXGirl821
    TXGirl821 Posts: 115
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    I AM the fat girl at the gym. I wandered in there on June 4th at 370 pounds. But you know what? People are going to look at you whether you're sweating on the elliptical or standing in line at McDonalds. I figured I might as well go to the gym and maybe give someone a little inspiration. But I DO agree with getting a trainer. It's seriously the best investment I've made in my health in a long time. It helps that my trainer was 300+ at one point too! But I lucked out and ended up at a gym where even though most who go there are mostly fit, they're all pretty supportive. My favorite part of going to the gym is getting a hug or my hand held by this guy old enough to be my grandpa and having him tell me that I'm beautiful. :)

    Ultimately, as has been said here, most people are really only concentrating on themselves at the gym. And if someone IS looking at you, it's probably just to tell themselves "If she can do it, I CAN TOO."
  • havingitall
    havingitall Posts: 3,728 Member
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    I was 340 lbs when I first walked into a gym. Nobody questioned my right to be there. I go to a gym to work out. I don't go to people watch. I don't go to be a social butterfly. As a matter of fact I hate when people want to to talk to me at the gym because they are interferring with my work out. I have my ipod in and I ignore the world. It's only if somebody is being obnoxious or hogging a piece of equipment that I notice them.

    I recommend a trainer for a session or two so you can understand how to use the equipment safely. Or, if a trainer is out of your budget. Go and do something you are comfortable with like the treadmill or exercise bike and watch what others are doing ( just don't stare) That gives you an idea of how the equipment works.

    The awkwardness is just a state of mind.
  • TucksterC
    TucksterC Posts: 7
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    Do you have a workout buddy or a trainer? Working out with a partner can help you focus and take your mind off others. In my experience, gyms have their own little social structure. Once the 'regulars' see you there for a while you will become assimilated to the group and they will start saying hello and being more friendly. After a while you will probably even have some gym buddies. Regardless, stick to your fitness goals and move forward. One day you will be the fit chick at the gym and I bet you will friendly to the newbie.
  • pupcamper
    pupcamper Posts: 415 Member
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    I'm very awkward and such and I'm really uncomfortable going to the gym when there are a lot of people there. Because I feel as though I'm doing something wrong or they're judging me because I don't exactly know what I'm doing and my size... How do I overcome this fear so I can get a good workout in?

    Go to the gym - the more you go and get a good workout in the less you will feel that way!

    [/quote]
    Also I'm a little intimidated by all of the other girls (it's a women's gym) who are so fit and sure of themselves, again how do I overcome this?
    [/quote]

    Go to the gym - the more you get a good workout in the quicker you will become fit and sure of yourself!

    [/quote]
    Also there is this really cute trainer there and he's intimidating as well and I'm afraid to look foolish in front of him, how do you just get over these petty fears so I can become healthier? It's pathetic, I realize…
    [/quote]

    Go to the gym and get him to become your trainer - use it to your advantage if he is that cute you will work even harder to impress him! I doubt he will see you as a failure just a challenge - what trainer isn't going to get a kick out of being a part of your transformation!

    You are overthinking what other people are thinking because you are assuming they feel the same way about you as you do! You need to change the way you feel about you not the way other people may or may not think about you! You shouldn't assume that the other people are happy with themselves, everybody has something they don't like!

    Grit your teeth and start your journey! Good luck! :drinker:
  • BrianSharpe
    BrianSharpe Posts: 9,248 Member
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    If the gym doesn't offer any kind of free orientation consider a few sessions with a trainer. He or she can help you learn the ropes with the equipment and also help design a program to help you achieve your fitness goals.

    I can relate to being self-conscious but you need to decide what's more important to you, improving your health or worrying about that complete strangers may or may not think. It's a bit of a blow to the ego but the reality is no one even notices you unless you're one of the types that goes out of your way to be the centre of attention. (I tried to be seen/noticed while I'm running and still have oblivious motorists practically run me over as runners have just become part of the urban landscape)
  • Chantal34
    Chantal34 Posts: 128
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    Maybe consider changing gyms. I go to the YMCA and it's very diverse - people of all shapes and sizes and fitness levels and no one seems to judge anyone else. Sure there's the swaggery Jersey Shore idiots in the free weight room but I also once saw a 90 year old guy going round the circuit track with a walker and people were applauding him. The Y is more like an 'everybody' gym, whereas those women only places (is it Curves you go to?) always seem a bit elitist to me. In the Y I always just feel like everyone is getting on with thier own thing and either oblivious to me or sometimes even encouraging.

    Planet Fitness is another one to consider, they're very bare bones and affordable, which means they draw a lot of regular joes trying to lose weight rather than fitness fanatics.
  • bethfartman
    bethfartman Posts: 363 Member
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    One of the most beneficial things I ever realized is that nobody really cares about you, they're all just worried about themselves. Sure, every once in a while there might be some jerk sitting there judging everyone that walks by, but do you really care what that *kitten* thinks of you anyway?
  • hiker282
    hiker282 Posts: 983 Member
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    Realize that everybody is so paranoid that everybody else is watching them that they're not watching you.....
  • lil_pulp
    lil_pulp Posts: 701 Member
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    When I was heavier, going to the gym was so intimidating. (It still is, actually, even though I'm pretty much a normal weight and am familiar with most of the people who work out at the same time as I do.) Hiring a trainer is great advice, but if you can't (or just won't right now), you can also just take it very slow. Choose a familiar machine (exercise bike or treadmill, probably) and decide ahead of time how long you want to stay on--some amount of time that doesn't feel like THAT long to you, as you can always do more than you set out to do, but it sucks to do less.

    Of course that doesn't address the issue of the other people at all... I don't have much advice on that, except now that I've been going to my (small, women-only) gym for years, I've learned that the super-fit women all have their own issues and are actually pretty friendly if I dare to make eye contact or talk to them. That helps me feel slightly more comfortable around them. (But I still sometimes avoid a machine or part of the gym if certain people are there, even though I know they're probably nice and totally not judging me for my big saggy butt.....I'm working on this!)
  • Shamrock_me
    Shamrock_me Posts: 161
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    THIS phrase in my head Totally helped me get through my GYM terror of people looking at me...

    "Everyone here is here for the same reason I am - to be stronger/healthier so get over it!!"

    Still took a while. I don't like it when I think people are looking at me for almost any reason. Now if I'm GOOFING off for attention that's different.

    And if that didn't help you.. which sometimes it doesn't help me (especially when someone is on a machine behind me I fight the fear to bolt because that dude is front row & center to the arena of my butt) I just turn up the music & drown my own brain.
  • bejuled74
    bejuled74 Posts: 191 Member
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    I totally understand how you feel. I've been 19, overweight, in a gym...joined the womens gym so I wouldn't look like an idiot in front of the men. It is a very intimidating experience, and often people will just stop going to the gym because of this. If it is at all possible for you to get a trainer...that would be the absolute best thing you could do. If you have a friend to bring to the gym with you, a lot of times you can get a cheaper rate on a trainer if they are doing 2 people at a time. But, if you're like me, none of my friends were ever on the same page as me when I wanted to go to the gym so that didn't help me.

    It's so great that you took the initiative to join the gym and you are going...that is a big step. Stick with it...do some research online about gym equipment. There are lots of utube videos for proper use of equipment and exercises to do...also bodybuilding.com has lots of good information that should be helpful to you...and mytrainerbob.com.

    And like the others said...the people at the gym really aren't looking at you. Nobody really goes to the gym with lots of extra time so they tend to stay pretty focused on themselves and do what they need to and get out. I know when I'm there I'm so focused on what im doing that I hardly even notice the time much less other people.

    Keep at it, and try to talk to the people that work there...they are there for you and will be more than willing to help you with anything you need.

    Good Luck!!! You can add me if you want. :smile:
  • janet0513
    janet0513 Posts: 564 Member
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    Just do it! The more you go, the more confident you will become. If you don't know how to do something, then ask. Hire a trainer to help you get a routine. You are not going to look foolish in front of that trainer, they have seen it all. That is like saying your teacher thinks you look foolish on the first day of class because you can't pass the final exam. They are there to help you reach your goals. You are a beginner and you will get there. All those girls had to start somewhere too. Use them for motivation! No one cares what you look like or what you are doing. There are even some nice people who will help you along the way. You deserve to be there like anyone else! When I started, I liked to go on some non peak hours. With less people there and equipment free, I felt more willing to explore and try new things. I can't change how you feel, but I can tell you that it will get better with time. Don't let those feelings become your excuse. Good luck.
  • Xniecex
    Xniecex Posts: 39 Member
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    Get over it! :)
    Everyone has to start somewhere...
    Strike up a convo with a "fit girl" - ask for some tips/advice.
    Or just pretend that you are alone and get 'er done.
    You are there to get fit/healthy....who cares about everyone else :D

    YES!!! You have to start somewhere. Join a class? When i first started cycle, i wanted to die!!! But the instructors were so supportive when i thought i could go anymore. And you build a relationship with classmates and they cheer you on!! Everyone is there for some reason... loose weight or to get healthier overall.
  • Needtolose3
    Needtolose3 Posts: 21 Member
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    I'm very awkward and such and I'm really uncomfortable going to the gym when there are a lot of people there. Because I feel as though I'm doing something wrong or they're judging me because I don't exactly know what I'm doing and my size... How do I overcome this fear so I can get a good workout in? Also I'm a little intimidated by all of the other girls (it's a women's gym) who are so fit and sure of themselves, again how do I overcome this? Also there is this really cute trainer there and he's intimidating as well and I'm afraid to look foolish in front of him, how do you just get over these petty fears so I can become healthier? It's pathetic, I realize…


    I use to be the same, would love to go to the gym, but wasnt confident enough thought ppl were thinking what is she doing . Lol
    Now ive stop caring what ppl think, everyone is new to the gym at some point in their life. Download some tunes onto ur iPod o phone put ur head phones in and jus work out.

    Don't feel intimated at all, I've stopped caring what I look like when I'm on the treadmill and I feel like I have two left feet I'm there to work out nothing else.
  • rachelmorgan77
    rachelmorgan77 Posts: 131 Member
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    I get it...I definitely felt this way. Here's a couple things you can try....
    * When I first started, I used any machine in the back row. That way I felt like I wasn't being watched. Luckily, there's bikes, AMT, and a wave machine back there!
    * When you joined, they should have given you an orientation on the machines. If not, ask for one. This will help build your confidence. Intimidated by too many machines? Have them just show you one or two, then you know you can walk in and use those machines, no matter what. If the staff isn't helpful - I would leave and find another gym. You need support on this journey.
    * Bring a workout buddy. If you have someone to commiserate with, you'll be less slef concious.
    * Try a group exercise class. Really...this is a great way to learn how to use some of those free weights and do moves in a group. Pilates teaches you the correct form for sit ups and planks, some of the others incorporate free weights or med. balls. You can always stand in the back and watch everyone else. I remember my first class I went to - pilates or yoga. They turned down the lights and I joked that if I fell asleep, just wake me up when class is over. You may also meet some great work out buddies in these classes and forge new friendships. Take advantage if your gym has a class or a special event where you can try lots of different things - everyone else will be trying new things too!
    * Most of all, remember that you are there for YOU. Getting up and going to the gym is the biggest step of all. Now that you're there, you might as well work as hard as you can. And believe me, if you do that, then the only thing people are going to notice is how hard you work and how dedicated you are.
  • Weighinginwithmy02
    Weighinginwithmy02 Posts: 369 Member
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    my mantra when I first joined was "this isn't about THEM, it's about ME" and I focused on that. What they say or think or do... you can't control that... you can only control what you are doing and what you are doing is something beautiful and healthy for your body and your life. You deserve that, don't you? I think so.

    Everybody is going to the gym for similar reasons... overall health... not to worry about what others are doing. I mean, you joined for your health, right? Not to have an inside look at others working out, so no reason to think that's why everybody else joined either.

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