How to deal with the diet-saboteur friend

I really like what Ruthie has to say

Think of it like a bad boyfriend. If he were saying things to that hurt you -- would you put up with it?
or tell him "buh bye"??

I know its hard when you have a relationship with someone (like this situation), but people
rarely say what we "expect" them to or what we would like them to. I'm the type of person when
someone continually beats me up and makes me feel badly -- I will get my point across to them
in a joking manner. I knew someone who would like to put down anyone trying to eat healthier
.... naturally thin person and just was so perfect (in her mind), except when she opened her mouth
people hated her. I remember someone telling her, I'd rather be overweight than you any day !!
(still makes me chuckle picturing the look on her face ~ )

That old saying -- IF you don't have anything nice to say, then don't say anything at all

I'm sorry you're dealing with something so hurtful. I have an opinion that I think may help you.

Here's what you need to do.

First, throw a party at your place. Invite a bunch of friends over including your problem friend. I'm going to call her Sue from here on out since I don't know her real name.

Get a bottle of Vodka and replace the Vodka with water. Throughout the night, tell Sue how happy you are that she finally, through her prodding and badgering, convinced you to re-start your drinking habit. Tell her that you gained back 18lbs and you have trouble controlling your bladder but it's fine because you found these adult diapers on sale so it's really a non-issue. (You may want to have a box of adult diapers handy just as a convincer).

After having 6 or 7 large glasses of "Vodka", invite Sue downstairs so you can show her the updates you did to the basement. (Oh I forgot to mention, make sure you clean the cat litter right before the party starts, and replace the litter box with grape-nuts cereal and about 6 tootsie rolls).

As you go downstairs,lead Sue over to the litter box and in mid-conversation, grab a handful of cat litter (remember it's grape nuts and tootsie rolls) and just start eating that *kitten*. Eat handfuls at a time like you're starving and you've never seen such delicious food in your life. Start crying and chew with your mouth open.

Then get down on 1 knee and propose to Sue, with chocolate stains around your mouth and cat litter (remember it's just grape nuts!) stuck to your chin.

Let me know if Sue stops bothering you.




(Or you could just have a chat with her too, instead of the above, your call).

Seriously, good luck though -- you deserve to be treated with respect. She needs to know that.

ahhhhh the old tootsie roll in the grapenuts trick..

why didn't I think of that !!! DOH

Maybe she just misses the laughs you had whilst out drinking? Doesn't mean she's an alcoholic. You've changed your lifestyle and she's finding it hard to accept. I don't know if it's purposeful sabotage....you know her best, so it's upto you to decide what to do about it.

I have to admit I would find it very odd if a friend gave up drinking to aid weight loss....whilst still eating junk food.

Just a different view point.

By the way, what is a tootsie roll? I don't think they have them in the UK.

A Tootsie Roll is a candy that looks a bit like poo:
http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/a/a7/Tootsie_roll_small.jpg

I'm sorry you're dealing with something so hurtful. I have an opinion that I think may help you.

Here's what you need to do.

First, throw a party at your place. Invite a bunch of friends over including your problem friend. I'm going to call her Sue from here on out since I don't know her real name.

Get a bottle of Vodka and replace the Vodka with water. Throughout the night, tell Sue how happy you are that she finally, through her prodding and badgering, convinced you to re-start your drinking habit. Tell her that you gained back 18lbs and you have trouble controlling your bladder but it's fine because you found these adult diapers on sale so it's really a non-issue. (You may want to have a box of adult diapers handy just as a convincer).

After having 6 or 7 large glasses of "Vodka", invite Sue downstairs so you can show her the updates you did to the basement. (Oh I forgot to mention, make sure you clean the cat litter right before the party starts, and replace the litter box with grape-nuts cereal and about 6 tootsie rolls).

As you go downstairs,lead Sue over to the litter box and in mid-conversation, grab a handful of cat litter (remember it's grape nuts and tootsie rolls) and just start eating that *kitten*. Eat handfuls at a time like you're starving and you've never seen such delicious food in your life. Start crying and chew with your mouth open.

Then get down on 1 knee and propose to Sue, with chocolate stains around your mouth and cat litter (remember it's just grape nuts!) stuck to your chin.

Let me know if Sue stops bothering you.




(Or you could just have a chat with her too, instead of the above, your call).

Seriously, good luck though -- you deserve to be treated with respect. She needs to know that.

OMG!! that is too funny. I could just imagine the persons face. This could be a fun prank to pull on someone just because!

I haven't had time to read through all the replies, but I'd like to direct you to a tumblr blog, muffintop-less.tumblr by Savannah Rose Neveux.

Not only does she have amazing fat loss/muscle building tips, awesome recipes, motivational pictures and "picture-quotes" (memes, whatever you wanna call them), and other information, she did what you are doing. She has given up alcohol for good since it's so bad for one's metabolism, but that doesn't mean you have to. Her about me states:

During my high school years, I was a straight edge kid. I never drank or got into any serious trouble. I had a pretty healthy view of myself and was actively involved in sports and productive things. Once college hit however, I went a little wild. An unfortunate side effect of too much partying, junk food and an overall unhealthy lifestyle, I became extremely insecure about my body and myself as a person.

I woke up one morning with an incredibly bad hangover. My skin was tingling from dehydration, my head throbbed, the light from my window seared my eyes and the rolls of my beer gut squished together. I realized then and there that I couldn’t continue living my life this way. I immediately got up, threw all the junk food and alcohol away, joined a local gym and started doing research on bodybuilding, nutrition, supplementation and everything to do with fitness.

I stopped complaining about the things I didn’t like and started taking ACTION to fix them.


And then she has this section where she has been asked:
“I have a couple of questions for you: Your friends were into the whole ‘drinking’ and ‘partying’ thing. Did you end up losing those friends? And if not, did you and your friends find other beneficial things to do besides drinking & partying? I have friends who are still into that phase, but I’ve totally outgrown it and now I just want to have a healthy lifestyle but I’m afraid they won’t understand.”

And her response:
Unfortunately, I did end up losing “friends” when I stopped drinking. Fortunately… it was just the people who weren’t REAL friends. REAL friends support you when you decide to do something healthy and good for you.. REAL friends will be there for you when you decide to chase your dreams. It’s the ones that try to drag you back to your old, unhealthy habits, or keep you in a place where THEY are comfortable that you should kick to the curb.
For your REAL friends that stick around… just explain to them why you want to get healthy and why it is important to you. You don’t have to shut them out of your life to get healthy! Just come up with new ways to hang out that doesn’t require getting trashed.
There are plenty of fun things you can do that don’t involve drinking! You just have to get creative! Go out to coffee, go to the beach, have a picnic at the park, have a girls night with movies, do arts and crafts, get manicures and pedicures together, go on a shopping trip, find cool things or clothes at thrift stores, bake healthy protein bars, play tennis, put together a little football or soccer team and go scrimmage at the park, have a photoshoot… These are just a few options I came up with on the spot. There are SO MANY things you can do that don’t involve drinking.. I’m sure you can come up with even better ones than these!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I understand you are the Godmother of this friend's child, but try maybe try out her suggestions and maybe even reach out to her. There is a section on her blog where you can do that. Since she's gone through it and achieved amazing results I think she would have some good overall advice Hope this helps!

This is her

bump for later