My beau is worried I'm gonna forget him due to working out

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Replies

  • larsmac83
    larsmac83 Posts: 24
    My fiance is the same. When I first started losing weight, and actually LOST WEIGHT...that's when he realized that I was serious. He got really insecure and thought that once I "got skinny" I would no longer find him attractive and that someone more attractive than him would 'steal' me away. We had to have a REAL talk about our relationship, because I didn't want him to feel that way, AND I didn't want to be held back because of his fears. He actually likes working out with me, though, so we're lucky. But find other things for you two to do, and make sure to dedicate some serious time to him so he sees that you're not JUST about working out. It'll work out. And if it doesn't, that just means that there's someone in store for you that will get you as you are and love you no matter what! You keep going! No one has the right to take something like this away from you!
  • larsmac83
    larsmac83 Posts: 24
    hmmm kinda sounds like my husband sometimes... he has gotten better tho. Its insecurity really,One day after he so lovingly suggested " Hey lets go out to burgerking!" I in frustration asked.. " why are you sabatoging me???!!" and that is when he told me he is worried that once I dump all the weight there will be nothing holding me back, even him. I swore to him he is my highschool sweetie, my love and I am in love with HIM. then his rebuttle, " thats what you say now... "
    SO I just came to this conclusion I am no longer going to allow him to control me, I am going to keep focused, get this weight off, do what it takes and love him through the process. Its hard when your both heavy and one starts changing and the other feels left behind. I have tried over and over to get him to come to the gym and to no avail... I keep offering today and will always, but never nag him. I do things constantly to show him love and try not to talk about the fitness/eating all the time in front of him but act normal as possible.

    hang in there dont give up!!!

    /\/\/\/\/\ This. My fiance is supremely insecure with his weight, and now that I've started to change things, it makes him feel inadequate somehow. He feels like I'll leave him behind and find newer, shinier things. Tell your man to just have a little faith in you. You're not going anywhere, you're just making sure that you're living the life YOU want to live!
  • kassiebby1124
    kassiebby1124 Posts: 927 Member
    Goodness, so many replies. Thank you all so much. I also think it's from his insecurities. My boy is obese and he knows it. Honestly, he loathes his appearance, but does nothing to change it, despite he wants to and I offer. We talked about this today. He is worried that when I drop all the weight, I'm gonna find him unattractive and move "onto the next one." I don't want him to feel like that )': He's supportive and loving and I just want him happy.
  • vade43113
    vade43113 Posts: 836 Member
    Ask, do you want me to be sad, just so you can be happy?

    I'll call him on that....

    If he truly cared, then he would find ways to spend more time with you.

    He doesn't hate all kinds of exercise... it is that he has no driving force. You can be that driving force. I don't care what anyone says, If you want something, you will find a way to get to it.

    My prayers go with you, and him...
  • heatherdawn007
    heatherdawn007 Posts: 15
    My husband is the same way! He goes to work at 5:30 every morning and doesn't get off until 4pm. When he gets off, he also has a small lawn company and mows yards 1-2 afternoons a week. When you add in other random evening activities, almost every night is full. I work full time also, from 8-5, and then go to the gym from there. My mom is a dietician and I grew up exercising and eating healthier, so it's very important to me. However, I guilt myself if I miss 1 or 2 days at the gym, and I had gotten to where I was obsessing about spending more time there, sacrificing the time that we spent together to fit it in. He is very active as well and used to run at least 4 days a week (9-13 mile runs!) before his job required so much - now he would rather pull teeth than set foot in a gym. I don't want to push, but I'm definitely happy to encourage him in a healthier direction, because bad habits do catch up!

    A couple of ways that I have found to encourage him to have healthy habits is by packing his lunch and making sure it is nutritious - this keeps him from running by McDonalds or Chick Fil A in a bind. If I cook dinner, it's also going to be healthy, and I only make enough for us to eat healthy portions. We also made a pact that we almost only order water when we go out. And for Christmas, we bought ourselves bikes and we'll go ride at the beach for our date night sometimes, as one night a week is always set aside for us. He knows it is important to me and that I feel better if I go, but he helps me keep things in balance. It has to be important, but I don't want it to choke out the people that make life worth being fit for!

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