what to do... hubby only eats crap!

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Hii there. Ok so my hubby says he supports me on my weight loss journey, but doesn't want to have him suffer, he unlike me has a very high metabolism and can eat whatever he wants and as much as he wants. But he likes to eat out all the time, and really crappy food. Like to him dinner is a whole bag of cheeses! That's over 1500 calories!! And I'm trying to be healthier because I want this soo bad for myself, and I'm trying to tell him I'm not making him suffer. He can still have his junk food and crap he eats. I have fairly strong willpower. I just wish he would be more willing to spend our money on healthier food than crap.. thanks for the vent!
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Replies

  • Marll
    Marll Posts: 904 Member
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    I suppose it really depends on the definition of crap, but seems to me that as long as he's supportive and not actively sabotaging your efforts you can just let it go. Introduce healthier fare to him over time and you may see a change in attitude if the food that you are introducing is more full of flavor than what he's currently eating.

    As far as his idea of a bag of cheeses being a healthy meal....I'm not sure what the problem is there. I'd be more concerned if he just ate french fries, breaded fried food and boxed meals like mac and cheese all the time.
  • cmeade20
    cmeade20 Posts: 1,238 Member
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    Buy what you want at the store. Cook your own dinner, Tell hubby he's welcome to what you made but if he wants something else he's on his own.
  • Kiswinning
    Kiswinning Posts: 35 Member
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    I have sort of the same problem, only my husband can't afford to eat crap. He doesn't consciously try to sabotage me but since I travel so much on my job he does the shopping. My fridge is packed. How can I get him to eat better with me??
  • IrishChik
    IrishChik Posts: 464 Member
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    My hubby was the same until he had some blood work done and found how his blood pressure is through the roof and his triglycerides are 3 times that of a normal person, we are talking in the 1000s. Basically he is on meds now, but if he doesn't take them at this point he could have a heart attack any day. All because he ate nothing but crap his whole life. Never bothered with nutrition. If it tasted good, he ate it. No matter how good it tastes, he still salts it. Didn't matter. Now we are working with a dietician to teach him proper nutrition so he can control his diet and get off the meds. He has also trained in jujitsu for the last 20 years and mma style for the last 10. So he is pretty active. You can still be fit and be unhealthy.
  • mamaomefo
    mamaomefo Posts: 418 Member
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    Buy what you want at the store. Cook your own dinner, Tell hubby he's welcome to what you made but if he wants something else he's on his own.


    I love this! He'll come around, hopefully because he cares about your health, and if not, he can fix his own. He's an adult.
  • Saiklor
    Saiklor Posts: 183
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    The money thing can be tricky, when I lived with my boyfriend it irked me that he wanted meatloaf and frozen brussel sprouts every single day for lunch (it was healthy options so I REALLY didn't want to rock the boat!) but the cost of all that ground meat and single-serving packaged frozen veggies was astronomical which meant we couldn't afford things *I* wanted.

    Eventually we had a sit-down talk about how much it all cost, it was akward but we broke it down, meal for meal, and discovered we were spending more than 50% of the budget on food ONLY HE ate, and the other 50% on things we both ate (dinner and staples) and things only I ate (the diet coke, the lean cuisines, etc). So then we adjusted, he had meatloaf a couple of times a week and we got cheaper side dishes and sometimes he had canned tuna instead of meatloaf.

    Anyway, I recommend sitting down and discussing the budget if the monetary side of things are out of whack. I'm not saying it has to be completely split 50/50, but a good discussion about where the money is going can be eye-opening!
  • magerum
    magerum Posts: 12,589 Member
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    I made it a point to make sure my life style change wasn't a burden on anyone else. When I was eating sugar free jello and my spouse was eating Oreo's I just sucked it up. It's my burden not theirs. That's the approach I took. Eventually you'll see they'll make changes on their own.
  • Welsh_Rarebit
    Welsh_Rarebit Posts: 14 Member
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    Buy what you want at the store. Cook your own dinner, Tell hubby he's welcome to what you made but if he wants something else he's on his own.

    This gets my vote too! You could offer to add a few extras more to his taste, but the main meal should be the same healthy stuff you are eating!
  • Healthymom207
    Healthymom207 Posts: 67 Member
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    Buy what you want at the store. Cook your own dinner, Tell hubby he's welcome to what you made but if he wants something else he's on his own.


    That's what I did, he can eat crap if he wants, but I don't have too. So sometimes he makes his own dinner, so I don't have to cook 3 seperate dinner (one for him, one for my picky toddler, and one for me). This past week though he has ate what I have made and said it wasn't that bad. There are some resaurants that have a healthy menu section (chili's is one), your hubby can pig out on ribs and you can eat a more healthier grilled chicken.
  • Dorkaleena
    Dorkaleena Posts: 59
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    My husband loves crap food. Filler food. Spaghetti, anything with LOTS of rice, one dish meals and casseroles. Chips... and OMG THE ICE CREAM.

    I love all that stuff too so we had a LONG talk after I first started trying to get healthier. I told him I won't force my way of eating on him, but I'd REALLY appreciate it if he kept most of his "Crap eating" out of the house. He agreed and things are MUCH easier. He still keeps ice cream in the freezer, and yes, I serve it for him because that's what I DO, but I can handle it. I eat some watermelon or cantaloupe to cure the sweet craving that it usually brings on and he has his ice cream. :) Not having to deal with all the OTHER junk in the house makes the ice cream thing easier to deal with. Maybe you guys could come to some sort of similar agreement.
  • IronSmasher
    IronSmasher Posts: 3,908 Member
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    Just be awesome and happy, eventually he'll want to be too.
  • jessicae1aine
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    Try meal planning - keep some of his "crap" for side dishes for him, and make yourself a healthy alternative, but share the main course (also healthy, of course).
  • DeterminedAshley
    DeterminedAshley Posts: 297 Member
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    Buy some frozen yogurt and skinny cow ice cream...he will fall in love and not even realize it is better for him!
    There are many options like that..hope that helped :)
  • Crochetluvr
    Crochetluvr Posts: 3,143 Member
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    I made it a point to make sure my life style change wasn't a burden on anyone else. When I was eating sugar free jello and my spouse was eating Oreo's I just sucked it up. It's my burden not theirs.

    ^^^This. I eat the sugar free Jell-O and the b/f will have a bowl of grapes.....then a bunch of peanuts.....then some BBQ chips.....then some ice cream. I deal because he has no weight problem and never will.
  • ChassityGetsFit
    ChassityGetsFit Posts: 173 Member
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    My husband is the same way! He's in the army and since he goes to the gym everyday and works on his feet then can pretty much eat whatever he wants and it doesn't matter. I've tried losing weight around him and I just can't! My willpower right now isn't that strong though and so I have a hard time resisting pizza when he wants to order it, it's his fave. He recently went overseas and before he left he wanted as much "good food" as he could get his hands on. To him that so called good food was McDonald's, Pizza, and anything else that was super fattening and not healthy at all! It wasn't until he left that I managed to lose that I've lost so far. He says he's supportive and all that but still brings the food in the house when I've asked him not to. I told him he can eat all the candy and stuff he buys as long as he eats it before he gets home and not bring it to the house, but he seemed to do it anyway! But, now that he's been overseas he sees how good I'm doing and knows that I can't do it if he's going to be eating junk! I made it clear to him that I need him to work with me on the food issues and we'll have to compromise on how we are going to do this! If he wants to go out to eat then it can only happen once a week or so. Try working compromises like that out with your husband, maybe! See if he will lay off of the eating out and maybe only do it once or even twice a week if you guys like that. Other than that, I know sometimes I will make dinner and make things that my husband and kids like but that I won't eat and I'll either just not put that one thing on my plate or eat something else if I have to! I'm realizing that it's ok to eat different things, that we don't all have to have the same dinner, as long as we are getting what we need! If you are doing good resisting those unhealthy things he's eating then let him eat it and you eat what you want. If it's a matter of money (you mentioned you wanted to spend more on healthy stuff), maybe budget a certain amount of money to his likes and a certain amount to what you want. I'm realizing you can't force anyone to eat the way you would like them to. Just like the saying, you can lead a horse to water but you can't make him drink! When he's ready, maybe he'll join you! :)
  • munkysmama
    munkysmama Posts: 7 Member
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    My husband is the same way. In the beginning, I refused to make separate meals, so he would eat whatever I prepared, and usually follow it up with a "treat." He didn't complain, but he later told me that he was pretty unhappy with what I was feeding him.

    A friend introduced me to the site skinnytaste.com, and that has made life so much simpler. There are tons of delicious recipes, but they are prepared in a healthier manner. My husband couldn't believe it when I told him the baked potato soup was actually mostly cauliflower! I still make all of the dishes he loves, but without all of the fat and sodium.

    His vice is sweets, and mine is salty snacks. I still buy his cookies and ice cream, (which don't tempt me) and avoid buying the things that are hard for me to say no to.
  • Pedal_Pusher
    Pedal_Pusher Posts: 1,166 Member
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    You eat what you want. He eats what he wants. Problem solved.
  • mandiibayybee
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    Thanks for all the great advice! I don't want him to stop eating what he wants and if he chooses to eat healthier too bonus! It's his body. But if the food he buys and orders is only crap then I have no food. And I don't want to starve myself so he can eat a lot of food, that's not so healthy food at that. But I tried talking to him about this yesterday. And he got upset saying its not his fault he can enjoy what he wants and I have to watch what I eat. And that's not even what I'm trying to ask of him. I'm just asking for healthier food being bought .. so I can eat too.
  • ChantalGG
    ChantalGG Posts: 2,404 Member
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    I do the groceries, and cook so he eats what i feed him. Anything else that he eats that is his thing. You are going to be fit and feeling great and he may want to catch up to you eventually.
  • betteringmyselfeachday
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    Well he might not be gaining weight with his unhealthy habits, but who knwos what his cholesterol and stuff is at!

    Eating healthy is beneficial to everyone, not those who are overweight! I have the same problem with my BF who wants to eat sodas, drink beer, a bunch of dinner rolls, etc.

    I have slowly started making him more and more aware of what he is consuming!

    I wish you the best!