Am I Crazy for Crying Myself to Sleep Over This?
elle18287
Posts: 267 Member
So, while I have been dealing with some stress and anxiety lately, I don't know if I am actually over reacting to this.... My husband says I am being crazy, which of course, makes it way worse 
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A little back ground. I have been dieting with mfp since March 2011. I lost a significant amount of weight in the first 6 months... about 45 lb. I mostly maintained, up and down a little since November 2011, but still have about 50 pounds I would like to lose. The last two months, I have worked out hard and mostly kept my food at a decent level. I was feeling good, fitting in smaller clothes and happy with my weight loss. I was noticing I was becoming very tones. For this first time in my life my friends were telling me I looked small and that I wasn't "fat" anymore.
So last night I see that a friend has tagged a picture of me from her wedding, from the beginning of May, on Facebook. I looked horrific. I actually think I looked like I had gained more weight than ever before. My husband said it was just an awful picture of me and didn't represent how I really looked at all, but I honestly couldn't stop crying. I had finally stopped hiding from cameras and all of a sudden I felt like all of my hard work was for nothing.
Right before I went to the wedding another friend told me, who hadn't seen me in a while, that I looked like I lost another 10 pounds and I looked great. Well not in this picture!
My face was scrunched up. I had a double chin. I was holding a wine glass and my arm fat was spilling out from my dress. It was horrible and honestly, it was rude of her to put it on Facebook.... she wasn't even in it. Everyone knows I have worked incredibly hard to lose the healthy way. I would never put an picture like that of a friend up!
I feel like I look disgusting and ugly. I am really having a breakdown about this. May it is ridiculous, but I am!
I have been working so hard and just don't want to think of myself as the fat girl anymore. I went from a size 18-22ish to a size 14ish pants. I occasionally even fit into a 10 top or dress.
How do I keep looking forward and stop feeling so depressed about this one picture? I know I am judging myself harshly, but it is very discouraging and depressing.
.A little back ground. I have been dieting with mfp since March 2011. I lost a significant amount of weight in the first 6 months... about 45 lb. I mostly maintained, up and down a little since November 2011, but still have about 50 pounds I would like to lose. The last two months, I have worked out hard and mostly kept my food at a decent level. I was feeling good, fitting in smaller clothes and happy with my weight loss. I was noticing I was becoming very tones. For this first time in my life my friends were telling me I looked small and that I wasn't "fat" anymore.
So last night I see that a friend has tagged a picture of me from her wedding, from the beginning of May, on Facebook. I looked horrific. I actually think I looked like I had gained more weight than ever before. My husband said it was just an awful picture of me and didn't represent how I really looked at all, but I honestly couldn't stop crying. I had finally stopped hiding from cameras and all of a sudden I felt like all of my hard work was for nothing.
Right before I went to the wedding another friend told me, who hadn't seen me in a while, that I looked like I lost another 10 pounds and I looked great. Well not in this picture!
My face was scrunched up. I had a double chin. I was holding a wine glass and my arm fat was spilling out from my dress. It was horrible and honestly, it was rude of her to put it on Facebook.... she wasn't even in it. Everyone knows I have worked incredibly hard to lose the healthy way. I would never put an picture like that of a friend up!
I feel like I look disgusting and ugly. I am really having a breakdown about this. May it is ridiculous, but I am!
I have been working so hard and just don't want to think of myself as the fat girl anymore. I went from a size 18-22ish to a size 14ish pants. I occasionally even fit into a 10 top or dress.
How do I keep looking forward and stop feeling so depressed about this one picture? I know I am judging myself harshly, but it is very discouraging and depressing.
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Replies
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Oh, try not to fret. Take the tag off it and ask your friend to take it down. The thing about photos is that we always think we look much worse on photos than our friends think we do. So other people will look at that photo and see how far you've come, not that it's a bad photo. Your friend probably thinks it's an ok photo of you. My husband's favourite current photo of me is one where I think I look like a sea slug; he thinks I look great. I *know* he's misguided...0
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Thank you.... that is incredibly encouraging.... I am posting on mfp because I feel that my support system, my husband, isn't being very supportive about my feelings. I am not feeling sorry for myself, I am devastated that after a year of hard work I am scared to have my picture taken again. I am still here. Still logging. Still working my *kitten* off. Why do you even take the time to post on the forums if you are going to use it to be a complete *kitten*, Dave?0
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Some people are just rude like that, I know someone that goes out of her way to take the absolute worst picture she can of someone to put up on FB. Don't let it get you down, you've obviously come a long way and it's not an accurate photo, just like there can be great angles to make things look good in photography, there really are also bad angles that do just the opposite. Even with the inaccuracy, just use it as a reminder to JUST KEEP GOING! Good luck! 0
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You're not crazy! I have never been photogenic and have always cringed at almost every picture of me. You should call up your friend and ask her to take it down, I assume you've already untagged yourself.
You should get dressed up the clothes that make you feel most confident and have your hubby take some good pics of you! You can update your facebook photo and I think it would help for you see yourself in a better light.0 -
Use it as motivation to drop the rest of your weight. You can do it!
You're not crazy for being upset over this but why dwell on it? It's just one bad photo. You can always ask your friend to take it own.0 -
You say you feel better and fit in smaller clothes... so the efforts are paying off. Don't let 1 bad picture bring you down.0
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Bohemian, thank you. Hearing that helps me rationalize a little. I untagged it immediately! Hah. And when my husband thinksit is a bad photo... it must be awful, because he always thinks I look better than I do, hah. Thanks again.0
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First off. Go save that picture to your hard drive.
Ask your friend to remove that picture, because its not flattering.
Stop dieting, its a life change.
Fake some confidence till you get some. Own that b***
Ok, got that picture. when your ready look at it, then take a new one of yourself or something.
Still no confidence? inflate that ego even more, you lost 45 pounds, you rock! RAWWR!0 -
Take a new pic of yourself and lay the new pic next to the wedding pic. Then, take a pic of yourself before you started your journe and place that one next to your other two pics. You'll see how far you've really come. Try not to be so hard on yourself.0
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Thanks all. It is helpful to hear that others hate pictures of themselves. Life has been stressful lately, and this was an awful time to see this photo! I wonder how many calories crying for an hour burns, hah. I will just use it as motivation to get so in shape I will look good from any angle/lighting, hah. 0
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Keep in mind that we always see ourselves more critically than anyone else. I run into the same issue, however, i have actually decreed on FB that there are no pix of me until I lose more weight. I hate my pic. that being said, I have lost over 70 pounds and people think I am looking better than I have in a long time. i am not saying that to pat myself on my own back, but look at it from your friends perspective. They think you have done fantastic. This pic, though you hate it, may represent to them the journey you have been on. I would dare you, as much as you hate that pic, to look at it critically with a pic from Feb 2011 side by side. Notice the differences...See it from your friends side.
Also, ask them to remove it if it makes you uncomofrtable, I have done this, but do not let it impact your own journey - you have come too dang far, and are doing fantastic.0 -
I am sorry that this happened to you! However when life gives you lemons......make lemonade! Use this as a motivation to KEEP WORING TOWARD your goal! You admitted you are not where you want to be, so let it go and head on to your new goal! :flowerforyou: you can do it, maybe this was your supercharge or kick in the pants. Some days i need one of those and the mirror gives it to me!0
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Listen to what all your friends and your husband are telling you and not one picture. Anyone can take a bad picture sometimes. Keep up the good work ....and yeah, take off the Facebook tag. All my friends know better than to post a picture of me without my approval!0
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Billsica.... haha. Thank you. Exactly the advice I needed. Fake it until you make it has always been my rule.... MFP is my place where I can act like a 13 year old girl and cry after I eat a brownie, hah.0
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We are our worse enemies...0
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Just the other day a friend was tagged in a photo. It wasn't flattering. She looked so different in the photo, NOT AT ALL the way she really looks. I was struck by this and we talked about it, because it was so surprisingly not what you really see. She wasn't thrilled any more than you are(!) and is asking the poster to remove it. Please try not to let that get in your head and mess with your progress...maintain your control over the things you can, like working out and making those good-for-you choices. That's where you want to be. And remove the tag! :-D0
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We are our worse enemies... it is hard going from a larger weight and then seeing picture after and even before. It isn't tough You are being too hard on yourself but, it comes with the package of being bigger and getting smaller. People can get this image of how they used to look and still see themselves that way, even see things that aren't there to others. People who love and care about you will see the possitive almost always, even when you don't see it. We focus on the negative for SO LONG that it is such a psychological upheval to change the point of view and let our minds except it. When our bodies grow and change so does our mind and thought process. Changing our bodies takes change in our mind as well. I battle with a condition call BDD body dismorphic disorder and I AM NOT SAYING THAT YOU HAVE THIS AT ALL! I am just relating I have lost over 100 pounds and still to this day and with some help I am just starting to except the possives that I have achived and not to focus on the negatives. It will take some time and there will be set backs but with good support system, healthy surrounding and habits and some good old self esteem you will be ok. You might have over reacted but, hell, you are allowed to lol. Maybe for only an extended period of time though... then it is time to look at the positives, even if you don't like to
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Some people put up unflattering photos of others to make themselves look better. She should have known better. Your weight loss is awesome so don't get upset over one photo. It is amazing the horrible picture that a camera can capture in a millisecond....even of skinny super models. That's why they take 3000 pics only to use one for a magazine!!!
Don't worry.....an alternate strategy is to use the photo for your profile pic and make a complete joke out of it. Start a contest among your friends and dare them to post the absolute worst pic they can find of themselves and use it for their profile for a week. If they do it, donate 5 bucks in their name to your favorite charity.0 -
Keep in mind that we always see ourselves more critically than anyone else. I run into the same issue, however, i have actually decreed on FB that there are no pix of me until I lose more weight. I hate my pic. that being said, I have lost over 70 pounds and people think I am looking better than I have in a long time. i am not saying that to pat myself on my own back, but look at it from your friends perspective. They think you have done fantastic. This pic, though you hate it, may represent to them the journey you have been on. I would dare you, as much as you hate that pic, to look at it critically with a pic from Feb 2011 side by side. Notice the differences...See it from your friends side.
Also, ask them to remove it if it makes you uncomofrtable, I have done this, but do not let it impact your own journey - you have come too dang far, and are doing fantastic.
70 lb is absolutely amazing and you should pat yourself on the back! I suppose I reacted to harshly to this photo was because I felt like I looked in it like I looked at the beginning of my weight loss. I am going to take everyone advice and turn this around into motivation!0 -
If you are happy with your progression and you are grounding in your beliefs about what you are doing for yourself is the best thing for you...don't fret over one picture. My mom didn't take many pictures, she said she captured the moments in her heart and could recall snapshots of her life that had meaning. Photos only sparked these memories--and that's what they should be, sparks.
I understand that one picture is worth a thousand words, however, it's not what you see in a picture. You are wishing it was a video, or maybe a picture of just before the picture was taken or just after the picture was taken. Sometime a picture does not represent us in the best light, in the best likeness of who we are or who we've become.
Let your friend have the snapshot, and you concentrate on your journey. You will look to that picture in a couple of months and smile about the wonderful time you had with friends. Trust that and continue on! You will be amazed at the accomplishment you will "see".
Have a great weekend!! 0 -
Some people put up unflattering photos of others to make themselves look better. She should have known better. Your weight loss is awesome so don't get upset over one photo. It is amazing the horrible picture that a camera can capture in a millisecond....even of skinny super models. That's why they take 3000 pics only to use one for a magazine!!!
Don't worry.....an alternate strategy is to use the photo for your profile pic and make a complete joke out of it. Start a contest among your friends and dare them to post the absolute worst pic they can find of themselves and use it for their profile for a week. If they do it, donate 5 bucks in their name to your favorite charity.
LOL. You are hysterical and I love it! Made me feel so much better! Goodness, I love MFP.0 -
Just remind yourself of how far you've come, and what you've achieved. You're noticing the difference in yourself, and people around you are ntoicing. Honestly, anyone can have a bad picture taken, even celebrities who are slim and are considered beautiful by millions of people still have awful pictures taken of them. There are good and bad angles for photos and in the blink of an eye you can have a double chin (even if you don't normally) or you might be pulling a funny face for a second, and the camera catches that. Don't forget also that we are usually our own worst critic. Your husband probably doesn't think it's a big deal because he sees you everyday and can see what you really look like.
Chances are your friend didn't stop to think you'd be upset by it. I've taken bad pictures of other people and just laughed and forgotten about them, not because I don't care about the person, but it's a funny picture and not really representative of how they look. Of course, bad pictures of me tend to stick in my head a little longer! I reently went to an event where I thought I was looking ok, felt much better about myself since losing weight. Some photos were taken by a press photographer. For the first time in ages I felt ok about it and didn't hide. Well - I saw the photo in the paper, and though I looked awful! Felt bad about it, but then relised the other people didn't look too good either. Just a bad picture!
I don't know if your profile picture is current at all, but you look very pretty in that. I'm sure you looked fine at the wedding (as backed up by the friend you saw just before!) and it really was just a one-off bad picture. Don't let it get to you too much, you've still achieved an awful lot and should be really proud of yourself!0 -
You're over reacting big time.
Just keep punching, stay on track and let little things like this go. You are doing great, so focus on that and continuing down the road of success.
Nothing is worth crying yourself to sleep over.
Just think of all the comments you've been getting from real people in real life.
That's meaningful. And think of what they'll be saying a year from now.
Won't that be great? Like the old slogan "You've come a long way baby", and people have noticed, and when you reach the end, you'll never need to worry about any more pictures that seem to add weight.
Buck Up - Smile!
All Is Possible :flowerforyou:0 -
I agree with keeping the picture (for yourself) for motivation . But put it away for now. I have a picture of me from last summer when I thought I looked pretty good.....I got it from a family member framed for me at Christmas (family pic) and I look AWFUL!! I cried. Then I started a serious life change. Havent stopped. My sister is constantly taking pics of me and saying how wonderful I look while Im picking apart the picture and feeling the need to go run some more.... I have told everyone NOT to post any pics of me on FB until I have approved them. She was offended at first but I said she may think its a good picture of me...but how about that one I took of HER at Christmas where I love her hair and think its a good picture...and she hates it...should I post THAT all over the world? She saw my point. Now she posts none works for me! I will post what I want. 0
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It is silly to cry over this unless you are very ugly then slimming doesnt makes u any prettier. I see that you looked quite pretty. Take time to slim down and dont overstress yourself. you have the potential to look pretty again once you slim down.0
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I know where you are coming from....In the mirror I know I look ok, Ive done well losing 46lbs and strength training has toned me up, and people comment positively on my weight loss....but I see photos of myself and just want to cry, as if all my hard work was for nothing, and I still look HUGE! Maybe its because in a mirror there's only me, whereas on a photo there are usually other people on it that you compare yourself too? I still have 40lbs to go, so although I've come far...I need to tell myself I'm only half way
I'd just ask her if she'd take it down, and you can easily untag yourself......we all take bad photos from time to time, try not to let it get to you xx0 -
well, you look extremely cute in your profile pic.
did you take before pics? it sounds like you're sad about two things: 1. feeling that no progress has been made, and 2. that even with apparent progress, you feel that you look like you're still the fat girl.
i'd put on a flattering dress and take a good look in the mirror, maybe even take a photo. you've got to bring yourself to the reality of what you are right now, and the reality of how far you have come, and maybe how close you are to your goal. you've achieved a great deal already, and that was the hard part as it was the start. now you are onto it, you know what you're doing, so even if you aren't at goal in your body yet, you are probably living it through your thoughts and actions - the body just has to catch up. 0 -
i say take your own picture or have your husband take your picture . the way you want it to look (exp clothes you feel great in ) and post your own picture on face book, when i lost all my weight before (66#) in my eyes i looked different in the mirror than i did in a picture , a good picture can help encourage you . cameras can take odd and strange angle pictures of us that are not true to life .Unforntunaly some people like to display that when they can . If she is a real friend she will hear your hurt and take the pic off, Dont let one pic derail all your hard work. you are stronger than that and worth more than that , good luck. And try to let it go.0
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First off. Go save that picture to your hard drive.
Ask your friend to remove that picture, because its not flattering.
Stop dieting, its a life change.
Fake some confidence till you get some. Own that b***
Ok, got that picture. when your ready look at it, then take a new one of yourself or something.
Still no confidence? inflate that ego even more, you lost 45 pounds, you rock! RAWWR!
Great post!0
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