ARE YOU TREATED DIFFERENTLY AFTER YOUR WEIGHT LOSS?
sommerskins
Posts: 57
in Chit-Chat
I am seeing all these amazing transformations and just curious if anyone feels like people have treated them differently after their loss? Maybe people that may have been rude before or family and now that you are thinner they treat you better?
or if there are people that have lost the weight, if you are treating over weight people differently, now that you are thinner? Do you look or treat people differently after you have lost the weight?
or if there are people that have lost the weight, if you are treating over weight people differently, now that you are thinner? Do you look or treat people differently after you have lost the weight?
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Replies
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I am treated more like a human being. An attractive one, at that.0
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Yes, I get more free stuff and people actually waiting to hold the door for me for an extended amount of time.0
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people held the door for me when I was heavy,they are less likely too now,
I was actually treated better before I lost 60 pounds.
lucky for me I dont care if people are rude to me0 -
Yes.
#1. My mum is jealous. She told me this to my face. She has been trying to lose weight for years, but doesn't want to believe it's all hard work, she wants to take a pill and be done.
She keeps trying to make me eat all sorts of junk food and keeps telling me that I look fat.
#2. Guys that used to bully me for being fat are now asking me out, and me laughing in their face haha.0 -
Even though I'm only half way to my goal (52 out of 100 pounds) I still get treated differently. People don't snicker when I walk by anymore and people are more willing to help me at work and when I'm out in general. *shrug*0
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I get more double looks... Just a lot more guys checking me out in general but I think it has to do more with the fact that my confidence level is wayyy higher that it was before. Not that I had the worst self esteem or anything but exercising and taking time to do healthy things for me has made me fall in love with myself and I think people respond well to that.0
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I'm 5'3" and went from a tight size 20 to a size 4 and YES, you do get treated differently. Most of the time, it's better; sometimes it's not. But not only is it that I believe I'm seen differently, but I know for a fact that I project myself as more confident and attractive. Before I lost the weight, I was taught a lesson that people see you as you project yourself. I began experimenting then and it's very true.
But then I gained some weight back and I am currently in size 6/8. That's still not too bad but I feel icky and unattractive. I've noticed I don't project myself the same way -- I don't hold my head up high; I don't wear flattering clothes; I avoid eye contact because I'm afraid of just getting looked over.
If you have a lot of overweight people in your circle, there will probably be some resentment on their parts toward you. But all in all, your health is the most important part of the weight loss; looking great is a wonderful bonus! I now have other people in my life who are more conscious of their health and their eating habits so I value that rather than hanging out with the friends who excuse every piece of garbage we put into our mouths.
BTW, I recently began losing some of the weight I gained back and my goal is to at least be a comfortable 6! Good luck to you!0 -
People are more rude to me, but whatever.
I've always thought the same about overweight people... some can't help it, but I disagree with the lazy ones who sit around and stuff there faces with fast food while complaining about being overweight... makes me sick.0 -
Yeah, and I can't say I love it. I think I was fat because I have issues with being seen as a sexual object (I had a bad thing happen to me when I was a teenager). I realize that I've been struggling with my weight for my entire life because of that after reading some accounts here on this forum. I see my awareness of this as very much healing, and I have every confidence that I will be a healthy weight for the rest of my life.
So yeah, I get looks and whistles now which is unwanted, but I don't get hit on, thankfully.0 -
Judgmental. You need to walk a mile in someone else's shoes before making such an ugly statement.People are more rude to me, but whatever.
I've always thought the same about overweight people... some can't help it, but I disagree with the lazy ones who sit around and stuff there faces with fast food while complaining about being overweight... makes me sick.0 -
I get more double looks... Just a lot more guys checking me out in general but I think it has to do more with the fact that my confidence level is wayyy higher that it was before. Not that I had the worst self esteem or anything but exercising and taking time to do healthy things for me has made me fall in love with myself and I think people respond well to that.0
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People with confidence radiate it and shine just a little brighter than less confident ppl...0
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Big difference, but it may also be the way I interact with people as well now too. I'm more out going, I'm not a hermit crab anymore. I am being noticed more however people seem to be more polite with me as well.0
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I was treated very differently in high school after my weight loss. Most ppl in general are nicer to me, respond well to me, hold the door open, etc. But I've also noticed as I've gotten older and stayed in shape and a lot of my friends/coworkers who are my age and have gained weight and continue with unhealthy habits (and a lot of heavy drinkers in my town) that I'm treated with animosity by a lot of females my age and at work. And I get teased a lot behind my back b/c I'm so enthusiastic about fitness...like they'll say "enjoy that workout! I'm enjoying my fourth glass of wine"..alrighty chick! Better you than me! lol0
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My husband can't keep his hands off me. And it makes me crazy! OK, I know I wasn't as attractive when I was fatter--- and he stood by me, regardless--- but, a little impulse control, please? LOL how do you tell your husband to back off when he's not really "doing" anything, just touching my leg or my hair or holding my hand all the time.0
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Judgmental. You need to walk a mile in someone else's shoes before making such an ugly statement.People are more rude to me, but whatever.
I've always thought the same about overweight people... some can't help it, but I disagree with the lazy ones who sit around and stuff there faces with fast food while complaining about being overweight... makes me sick.
I agree. That was rude0 -
My family used to feel sorry for me. They would go out of their way to be extra nice to me because they knew I got picked on a lot. My dad would bring home flowers every Valentine's day when I was young because he knew it was a hard day for me to be in school. I'd always get insincere 'have you lost weight?'s even though I was strictly gaining.
Now they're proud of me or better. Instead of 'have you lost weight?' I get amazed looks from family members I haven't seen in a while. My dad smiles at me like he never did when I was overweight and tells me he loves to see me happy. My sister comes to me for nutrition advice and invites me to come party with her. My mom is jealous because I can fit into her old clothes and she can't. My sister-in-law who struggles with her own weight told me I was an inspiration, and shares recipes with me regularly. She even took up Zumba!
As for how I treat people, idk. I've always been very reserved and happier when left to my own devices. That hasn't changed and I didn't expect it to. I think it was less of a self-esteem thing and more of a not-very-interested-in-socializing thing.1 -
Aboslutely. I am still a big boy, but down a lot of weight from where I began. My boss even mentioned, without crossing the line to go to HR, that he has supported my weight loss as a career tool (it is true, and unwritten, that more actively fit people make and are more productive and viewed as "better" employees).0
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People are more rude to me, but whatever.
I've always thought the same about overweight people... some can't help it, but I disagree with the lazy ones who sit around and stuff there faces with fast food while complaining about being overweight... makes me sick.
How do you know this about anyone you just see out at stores and in the street? How are you sure they just sit around and stuff their faces all day?0 -
I am treated less like a door mat. My bosses take me more seriously at work and listen to what I have to say more. I think a lot of that had to do with changes within myself. I no longer accept being treated like a doormat and I think I have a much more commanding presence. I actually heard my husband tell a friend who is trying to lose weight that I have changed so much in the last year. His exact words were, "She used to take and put up with every one's ****. Now she gives it. I'm so proud of her." I can't even begin to explain how proud that made me feel of myself.1
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I am only half way to my goal weight and I have more confidence in myself. I find that for the first time ever I am being checked out by men other than my husband. I feel weird about that because I have never been or hit on by someone other than him since I was 18. Or maybe even in my skinnier days it was always there and I have never noticed it as he has been my one and only. But after having kids and the weight remained and I lacked self confidence it showed.
My MIL treats me ruder than she did when I was heavier but that is just her demeanor and our relationship I bellieve.
I do not view heavy people any different. I cannot help but feel that they can do something about it, they just need to get to the point mentally when they are ready to and they will.0 -
My husband can't keep his hands off me. And it makes me crazy! OK, I know I wasn't as attractive when I was fatter--- and he stood by me, regardless--- but, a little impulse control, please? LOL how do you tell your husband to back off when he's not really "doing" anything, just touching my leg or my hair or holding my hand all the time.
I would suggest that you enjoy your husband's affection and be thankful that you have a guy that loves you and wants to touch you more than he does his mistresses and flings. Just sayin...0 -
I was treated very differently in high school after my weight loss. Most ppl in general are nicer to me, respond well to me, hold the door open, etc. But I've also noticed as I've gotten older and stayed in shape and a lot of my friends/coworkers who are my age and have gained weight and continue with unhealthy habits (and a lot of heavy drinkers in my town) that I'm treated with animosity by a lot of females my age and at work. And I get teased a lot behind my back b/c I'm so enthusiastic about fitness...like they'll say "enjoy that workout! I'm enjoying my fourth glass of wine"..alrighty chick! Better you than me! lol
Yeah I am there with you on this one^. A lot of people that know and love me are happy for me, but sometimes I get co-workers telling me "it's called food eat it sometime" and I'm just shocked, I eat plenty, I just chose to eat the right things and portion control, and exercise. I think a lot of it is confidence, it makes a difference no matter what your size is. Do what makes you feel good and healthy!0 -
Absolutely. When I lost my weight - all of the sudden I wasn't invisible anymore. I went from a size 4X to a size 8 when I reached goal. Being that I was big all my life, I really didn't know how to handle it and it scared me so much that I almost stopped my weight loss. I had to learn how to interact with people. Strangers would make eye contact with me, which really freaked me out. When I was big, it seemed people didn't see me, and I was comfortable melting into the walls. I would talk but no one, except family, would take me seriously. Now, it's different. Which is awful, because I'm still the same person. It's sad to say but it also positively effected my career and I've been there for 30 years - Same person, same job, different weight - only now I have a ton more responsibilities. I haven't changed my style of work, just lost weight. It's probably because my confidence has increased 10 fold because of the weight loss but still I have experienced both sides of the coin.0
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People with confidence radiate it and shine just a little brighter than less confident ppl...
This.
I lost 40 pounds, not a lot on my 188 cm frame. But definitely noticeable.
Still, the biggest change is in how I interact with others: I'm much more confident (and I was never timid, believe me). I'm almost sure my posture has gotten better. I've upgraded my wardrobe (and had to have the suits altered a couple of months later, as the weight kept coming off). I flirt with more women, etc.
Without a doubt, the biggest change has been within myself.
--P0 -
Difference between 175lb (now 166) and when I was 125lb is that big people are now trying to get pally with me offering me their chocolate at work etc, whereas at 125lb they would look down their noses at me and say "you probably don't eat this sort of thing".... At 175lb nobody makes any smart remarks like whether you had half a grape for lunch etc.
I know what I'd rather be. :huh:0 -
Awwwwwww. He thinks you're beautiful. It's like when I was a lil kid and couldn't stop staring at my new shoes (dint get those very often). Give it time and maybe he'll slow down or you'll start to like itMy husband can't keep his hands off me. And it makes me crazy! OK, I know I wasn't as attractive when I was fatter--- and he stood by me, regardless--- but, a little impulse control, please? LOL how do you tell your husband to back off when he's not really "doing" anything, just touching my leg or my hair or holding my hand all the time.
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I have a dear friend who lost 100 pounds. I was not losing and it was very hard for me, because bottom line: jealousy. But I remember her telling me how differently she was treated. (ie: doors held open, people smiling, husband's attention) I did not believe her. Even though I had the green eyed monster ALL over me, I thought how can they treat her so differently? She is the same inside. But with the birth of 2 more children the weight returned, it all reversed. She recognized that it was more of a lack of confidence thing, not so much a size thing. It just goes to show us that we need to treat all people with kindness. Hold the door for everyone. Give everyone a chance. There is ALWAYS a reason for the weight that goes WAY beyond sitting on your couch with fast food. It took me 44 years to realize that I fixed all of my hurt and stress and anger and sadness with food. I am changing that one day a time now. NOBODY says, "I want to be morbidly obese!" "It's MY dream!". Most who are on this site need support and help or we would not be here. And if we are here, we are trying.0
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Bump0
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Big time.
People are much more draw toward physical beauty. It's normal.
There was a 20/20 segment with a nice looking model vs a fat lady - same age and dressed in the same outfit.
They placed both actresses in mild distress with a spilled bag of groceries, and guess what?
Fat lady was largely ignored while guys fell all over themselves to help the model.
Same thing with a male version of the same scenario .
It gets back to the pro-creative instinct.
It's not mean or cruel. It's just nature.
In my life I am treated totally different, and at first I just thought the world had gotten nicer.
Nope.
The world is as it always was and always will be.
Fat people are sometimes rejected as potential mates as well as prospective employees but also just deprived common courtesy to some extent.
Welcome to the human race.0
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