MFP Obsession
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So sorry for your struggles. I had issues with my husband/family/friends at one point but I kept pushing through it. I confronted my husband about it asking him why he had an issue with me losing weight and he said he was scared I would not want to be with him once I lose the weight. I reassured him that I was doing this for me and that I was not doing it so tha I could "find someone better". I love my husband and made sure he knew it. As for the famiy/friends they have learned to put up with my obsession. If they have an issue with it still they do not let on anymore. You can't let them rule your life. It is your life and you chose what you want to do with it.
You can add me on here if you want for the extra support. Together we can all get to where we want to be0 -
I am not suppose to even be on MFP, but unfortunately, I am logging without anyones knowledge.
HUH?? Why???
Not supposed to??? Friend me!
I'll be support! 0 -
Unfortunately for them, your "loved ones" are doing exactly what it takes for you to eventually walk away from them - the thing they fear the most with your healthy new lifestyle.
If they supported you, heck, even ate a healthy meal once a week with you, then you would be enraptured in their love. Right now they are pushing you so far away you have nothing to do but to go away - either mentally or physically.
I think if you try to have a normal conversation and make them realize that this is who you are, and they can either support you with love and respect or they can lose you, they might see things differently.0 -
There is no advise that I could give to help you, but please, don't feel alone. All of us are on here for a reason. Our experiences are varied, as are our situations but we are on here together. Pick from us and add some to your friend list and you will always have someone to chat with when you need it. XO0
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An obsession with this site is different than being addicted to drugs or gambling. Your obsession is brought on by the will to stay alive, he might as well be saying that you're addicted to breathing. You're doing this for yourself and for your family. No one can have the right to take that away from you.0
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If MFP motivates you, stay on it. Do what works for you
Definitely go with this advice. I've done the same thing; luckily I have the support of my family. I am really surprised at how the calories add up with seemingly innocent snacks and toppings, etc. Tracking everything has been a great help to me. Don't cheat on your entries because you're only cheating yourself. Good Luck!!0 -
Just do what you need to do, Keep coming back for you. They are giving you a hard time because they know their lifestyle isn't a healthy one. Don't let them get you down.0
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I'm so sorry you feel alone
I cannot believe people are trying to rule and run your life. You should stand proud and say that you are doing this for you and if they can't accept that you're trying to make a healthy change then they can FECK OFF! You should do what makes you happy!! You are not alone there are a ton of us here going through the journey to better health with you! Feel free to friend me!! I wish you best of luck!!
Just remember DO what makes YOU happy....not anyone else...YOU YOU YOU! Be selfish if you have to, it's your life and your health not your friends/neighbors/husband.....0 -
It is not an obsession it is wanting a better future for yourself and your family. My hubby just gets tired of hearing about every little thing but still over the years has become super supportive because he knows that when i feel good we get along better. It's very sad that your family feels this way but i think a lot of it is jealousy/laziness plain and simple. I'm sending you a friend request now. :flowerforyou:0
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When I lost a total of 36 pounds in 2 years bringing me from 149 pounds down to 113 pounds, my family said I had lost the beauty in my face and looked gaunt and begged me to gain at least 10 pounds back. I went from the high end of my weight chart to the low end, but still was not considered underweight by my doctor. My husband told me to stick with it if that's what I want to do. What is it to anyone else if you count calories? It's your body! I have since gained 15 pounds back and everyone is happy...except that I would like to take another 5 pounds off, but I am 40 now and have moved to my home town where my family likes to eat and drink, so being closer to them is great for my soul, but not so great for my food diary. It is what it is, but I'm sticking with it because I like it and I think you should too! 0
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Alot of people who don't feel like counting calories or maintaining their health can be frustrated and/or rude with people who are interested and conscious of healthy choices. I would probably suggest that you don't shout it from the roof tops and instead let your results and good health do all the talking0
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I know in my heart that it has everything to do with control. I am the youngest of 4. My brother died at 32. Being the youngest, everyone always felt that they had perogative to control me. I personally think that me gaining control of my life and taking their control away, "Freaks them out." I refuse to give up on me. What kind of wife, mother, daughter or sister would I be? A quitter. I have never quit anything in life, and I don't plan on it now. If being obsessed with health is crazy....than call me certifiable.0
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If being obsessed with health is crazy....than call me certifiable.
Great attitude!! Keep with that attitude I like it!! *rawr* ^.^ 0 -
Honey, I'm so sorry you don't have the support from your family, but we're all here to support you and help motivate you on your fitness journey! I agree with you--if obsession over your health is wrong, I don't wanna be right! :-)0
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People confuse obsession with dedication. I have family members that put me down like I'm crazy and obsessed. But they look like the are dedicated/obsessed with being fat and unhealthy. It's a choice. Good luck, there's a lot of support to be had here.0
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I had issues like this with my husband, too, when I first started running and changing my lifestyle. He also accused me of being obsessed. So I just stopped talking about it. Stopped mentioning it at all to him - or to the people I work with.
I got up every morning and ran, went to another country to run a marathon with a friend, and logged my food and bought fun running shoes one pair after the next. I don't make it his issue or make any attempt to get him to join me or cheer me or care - it is my thing. For me. We are still married and "things" are fine. My kids think it is cool and normal for mom to stick her head in on Saturday morning before they are up to say, "I'm off for a run."
A few months ago I was standing next to a colleague who pushed her fingers into my lower stomach. When I asked her why on earth she did it, she just said "your stomach is so flat - you've become such the health freak" - an accusation. I figure she feels left out and sad about her own situation. I certainly don't want people I care about to feel that way, but I am not going to let it rub off on me.
My advice is just to keep doing it, but there's no reason for them to have to know that you're counting. People are insecure. A "I'm not hungry now, thanks." might keep them off your back if they don't think you are trying to be an example. Best of luck!0 -
Sorry to hear that your family is so unsupportive of your goals to get healthy and fit. I agree with some of the other posts, sounds like they are: a) very insecure about themselves or their relationship with you, or b) jealous that you can do what they cannot. Either way, don't stop. Keep reminding your husband you are trying to make sure you live a long, healthy life for yourself and your kids. You will find a lot of friends and support on MFP.:flowerforyou:0
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Here is my dilema....I grew up overweight most of my life and suffered with eating disorders.
Yes, I have loved ones who tell me that I am "obsessed" but it's something that chocks down to them being insecure about themselves. However in your case, you mentioned eating disorders, if your loved ones are aware of your previous struggle this could be why they are concerned about you "obsessively counting calories". You need to find out if this is a healthy thing for you to do given your history.0 -
Do they have you chained to a bedroom or something? You are a GROWN ADULT!!! Why are you logging like a little kid sneaking to see a dirty movie??? Do what is best for you and your health. No one has the right to tell you to stay away from anything. Especially if it will help you to lose weight and stay healthy. I would be telling these ppl/family to kiss my butt!!! Good luck.I am not suppose to even be on MFP, but unfortunately, I am logging without anyones knowledge.0 -
Your husband is scared, if he is truly your best friend sit down and discuss with him all of the reasons it is important for you to change. He probably is afraid of the changes you are going to make, especially if he was with you during the last big loss you had. You will also have to be prepared for what he is going to tell you and you may have to make some difficult decisions as well. It is too important not to do, you have a young child and it is your responsibility to break the cycle of bad habits. You can do it, you may even have to find some ways to show him things can be better. Either way good luck it won't be easy, but it is very important!0
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My husband is pretty negative about any of my new efforts to get healthy. He was very negative about me being on MFP in the beginning. Part of the reason, I think, is becuase he feels the pressure to change himself. Which, he eventually does. Maybe he does this becuase he doesn't want to be the fat on in the relationship. But, I have a hard time not being judgemental towards him when he comes home from work and eats nonstop. He doesn't like it when I do that and it makes him revert back to his negativity towards what I am doing. Overall, my efforts have changed our whole family's eating habits. I have lost 21 lbs. and my husband has lost 17 lbs. and my son is growing taller and not wider.
Just keep up what you are doing and maybe when he starts to see more results and no judgement coming from you (not saying that you are, just my own personal experience) he will come around. Best of luck.0 -
Sadly, it appears that your family is jealous and perhaps feeling threatened by you and your success. I know I can be guilty of that at times. I see my sister doing better than me and it can be hard to turn that jealousy into motivation. But, that is no excuse for what your family is putting you through. Get support however you can, your MFP family is here for you!0
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Sorry, but it sounds like manipulation and jealousy. It is YOUR life, and if they want to have control over something, they should control themselves. Keep at it. I like many other people that have posted, am "obsessed" with MFP.. why? because it is working for me. It is educating me to be more active, eat more healthily, and to think about ME for a change. Good luck.. and DON'T give up.0
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Cross out the word obsessed and replace it with focused.
People feel threatened when they see you achieving something they secretly want for themselves but can't be bothered to work for. Don't be one of those women that uses other people's attitude stop them from achieving what they want - it's too easy to give up when others are wanting you to.
Look at the people in mobility scooters decades before their time due to obesity and tell yourself you're NOT going to be joining them!0 -
You may need to remind your family members that you are doing this for you and to be able to see your kid/kids grow up.
I think this is the best reason.
If they are against you trying to lose weight then perhaps ask them why they disagree.
FORGET just reminding them! Remind YOURSELF. If you are not there to see your grandchildren because you died of poor health choices, who will your children blame? Your family? NO! They will hold you squarely responsible for your lack of diligence at taking care of yourself. At best they will pity you, not look up to you for the strong mother that lost 420+lbs in order to bring them into your life and give them the mother they deserve. They will see you for the woman that was beat down and didn't stand up for herself. Your past success will be overshadowed by who you became after that.
I say this not to be mean and make anyone feel bad for the crappy medical health and genetics you've been delt in life (i'm pretty sure i've cornered the market on it myself LOL). I say this as someone who has seen a glimpse of how your children will feel in 30 years.
Please realize it is up to YOU. To make the choice for YOU.0 -
You've gone from 400+ to 190, that's a major achievement. It might sound harsh, but they could be saying this because they're jealous of your achievements? They could also be oblivious to information given out i.e eat healthy be healthy and think that they're living healthy themselves?
It may sound harsh, and no offence was intended. That's just the jist got from reading your post OP.0 -
Is anyone else getting negative feedback from LOs? If so, how are you handling it?
I feel for you, I'm on the same predicament with my gf and friends.
My gf gets irritated when I start calculating and logging the calories that I eat per meal and do not see the need for it (even though my weight loss results is proof enough). Our friends say the same thing, I believe logging the calories (whether you are suffering from an illness) is very beneficial to anyone. Coming from someone who has also been on the fat side the entire life, I don't want to regress back to my old lifestyle and would like to maintain this healthy lifestyle as much as I can. And as you mentioned, the only way I can do this right now is through calorie logging.
I myself might start finding myself having to hide logging calories on MFP once I reach my goal weight. I can definitely understand how you feel..but what can you do?0 -
. It is primarily my husband that is against it, with negative comments from my sister and inlaws.
he may be jealous & does'nt know how to express it.. good luck & keep with mfp, you can add me for support. even if you find support in your physical community. it's not an obsession, it's a new lifestyle... that'll keep you living longer, especially since you have a family history of illness0 -
Sounds to me like you're a survivor! To lose that much weight, give birth to an adorable son, and come back and try to lose more weight while dealing with a family fighting your efforts makes you a winner in my book and I bet it will in your son's too. Let him learn by your example and go with your gut honey. We all only get one shot in this life game so make it your personal best. My mother died on me at 68 from obesity. There was totally no reason for it and it was such a wasted life. She never saw my son, who she was crazy about, graduate from high school. She will miss my kids growing up. She would have been so proud but allowed someone else to control her life to the point of becoming ill. Don't you do that. We're all here to support you when ever you need it.0
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"Obsessed is a word the lazy use to describe the dedicated." I saw this quote on here recently, and it took any worry I had about becoming "obsesses" and threw it out the window. We all want to be strong healthy people. We want to live long full lives with our loved ones. You should be proud of yourself for breaking the cycle and taking control of your health. Don't let anybody tell you what you should and shouldn't do. And please don't leave MFP just because other people don't understand your dedication. I'm sorry your family isn't supportive. But please let all of us here be your support. ((hugs))
Exactly what came to mind when I saw this thread. I get the rolled eyes when I log my food or spend a few seconds searching nutritional info when we do go out to eat. But the results speak for themselves and if everyone else can be on their phone texting, tweeting, pinning, facebooking etc I can be MFPing! So there! Ha!
Good luck with it all and congratulations on your success!0
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