Got a funny look from hubby today at the grocery store

Options
SithChicky
SithChicky Posts: 74
in Food and Nutrition
when I was looking for cucumber =/

He's a sicko!!

But anyone else find it best to not tell their immediate family they're trying to lose weight? I always feel like he, and my mom when she's over which is quite often, are always trying to get me to ruin my diet... It sounds dumb, but I seem to have better luck when I'm dieting in secret lol. My hubby is a good 100 lbs over weight as well, but he's lucky, very tall, and can't tell too much, so it doesn't bother him. I, on the other hand, am 5'2 and 225 lbs.

Anyone else diet in the dark or am I alone? Should I tell him? I know he won't want to diet with me, he's already dieting in a way for his blood pressure, but we were talking about getting a gym membership together when my sprained knee heals.
«13

Replies

  • tbetts23
    tbetts23 Posts: 303 Member
    Options
    My family know that I'm working on it and a few close friends. I'm thinking that a fair number of other people have figured it out with the weight I've lost so far. It can be tough. Especially being hypothyroid, I'm in the same boat. Just keep at it. You are worth it!
  • SithChicky
    SithChicky Posts: 74
    Options
    I am, for sure, not letting the hypothyroid define me anymore. I doubt many people would even notice when I start losing, my mom maybe, but I doubt hubby would lol. He gets upset at me for how I talk about myself being 'fat' but he doesn't realize how different it is for women than for men, for short people opposed to tall people. I've been self-conscious about my weight for as long as I can remember, and he didn't care about his weight until the doctor told him to lower his blood pressure. Just cutting most salt out for him, he's lost a good 20 lbs, it's been just over a month... and then I bust my butt for 3 months with diet and exercise every day and lose 3. That's what frustrates me, he doesn't understand how hard it is, no one really understands how hard it is being hypothyroid, how hard we have to work at it.
  • RuthieCass
    RuthieCass Posts: 247 Member
    Options
    I would be able to ignore my mom, but the husband... That's not good. Something is wrong when you have an SO who cannot be supportive of you trying to improve your health. I'd have a serious talk with him, tell him I'm on this diet, and ask him to adjust his attitude. If he can't improve at least his attitude (at most his diet), well, that's a red flag. And yes, many people handle change poorly. But I don't see how you can be fully successful when your husband is not only unsupportive, but tries to ruin your diet.
  • tbetts23
    tbetts23 Posts: 303 Member
    Options
    You have to do it for you not anyone else. Trust me he'll notice and get on board. It just takes time. There is a group on here that can help you as well. Search hypothyroid . Weight loss or no, eating healthier and exercising will make you feel so much better!
  • bmblair041
    bmblair041 Posts: 35 Member
    Options
    My grandmother is constantly pushing her candy and stuff (which I never take just because I don't really eat candy. Just never have) and my family doesn't eat healthy and never has. It's really tough to try and change my diet and have to get a totally different set of food at the store from the rest of the family.
  • amberleighM04
    amberleighM04 Posts: 108
    Options
    I think my husband is the only one that really knows (other than a few diet/exercise buddies). I'm not hiding it, but it hasn't come up.
    If your family's behavior upsets you, perhaps you should talk with them, voice your concerns and ask for their help. Good luck... it is so much easier to change when you have support. Hugs.
  • WickedBean
    WickedBean Posts: 244 Member
    Options
    I tell everyone and anyone that I know.. it keeps me accountable because if they notice I am not losing they will say something about it.
  • SithChicky
    SithChicky Posts: 74
    Options
    I would be able to ignore my mom, but the husband... That's not good. Something is wrong when you have an SO who cannot be supportive of you trying to improve your health. I'd have a serious talk with him, tell him I'm on this diet, and ask him to adjust his attitude. If he can't improve at least his attitude (at most his diet), well, that's a red flag. And yes, many people handle change poorly. But I don't see how you can be fully successful when your husband is not only unsupportive, but tries to ruin your diet.

    he's supportive of it, I get really nasty when I talk about how gross I am and bla bla bla. He just gets sick of hearing me be nasty to myself. He has been on his diet, I thought I mentioned that. He tries to ruin my diet by always wanting to order take out, or go out to eat and let's get this or that. He doesn't do it intentionally.
  • myfitnessval
    myfitnessval Posts: 687 Member
    Options
    i come from the eat everything on your plate there are starving people in africa kind of family so when they see me suddenly not go back for seconds or eat mostly salad then they start grilling,t he only way to get them off my back is to explain that i'm trying to eat healthy, then they usually let me be lol.
  • SithChicky
    SithChicky Posts: 74
    Options
    My grandmother is constantly pushing her candy and stuff (which I never take just because I don't really eat candy. Just never have) and my family doesn't eat healthy and never has. It's really tough to try and change my diet and have to get a totally different set of food at the store from the rest of the family.

    yeah I hear that. I have two little kids, so they're all about the mac and cheese and pbj, and stuff like that, my older who's 3, keeps asking why I don't have sandwiches anymore lol, and why I have salad now cuz it's 'ucky' But can't really explain to her the whole 'fat' thing and whatnot,t she doesn't see that yet. if only all people were as innocent as children.. I'm not a candy person either though, or sweets for that matter.
  • mamabear0222
    mamabear0222 Posts: 455 Member
    Options
    I tell no one .. and I like it that way
    Otherwise it seems everyone around me is a critic watching what I put in my mouth!
    If I want to have a slice of pizza one night dammit I will :p
    keep your eyes to yourself lol
  • ChosenMari
    ChosenMari Posts: 1
    Options
    I try to lead by example at my house. It's easy since it's just me and my daughter..she keeps me accountable and her being 12 yrs old..it's important for me to instill in her to lead a "Healthy" lifestyle. We don't use the word "diet".. If you let people know that you want a healthy lifestyle instead of a diet which most consider temporary..eventually they'll come around to not offering you bad food. Although it's been 4 yrs since I drank soda and my mom STILL offers me some every time I visit lol. Gotta love family huh?
  • shierrarobin
    shierrarobin Posts: 181
    Options
    I know what you mean. My fiance tells me sometimes that "Oh one piece of pizza won't kill you." My immediate reaction is to tell him "I know that, but if I splurge right now I'm gonna want to splurge again."

    I still wanted him to know, though. Especially since I'm still in college and I only work during the school year, so he buys most of my food for me over summer. Can't really keep my diet from him when he's the one "bringing home the bread". Lol

    But if you're more comfortable with dieting in secret then don't let anyone else know. If it helps you stay on track, do whatever you think is best. :)
  • momtokgo
    momtokgo Posts: 446 Member
    Options
    My husband knows, hes my support. I couldn't imagine trying to lose weight and not tell him. My mom and dad know too. My IL"s do not know, and I'm not telling them. I'm just going to show up 20lbs lighter next month at a family party. Way funner that way.
  • SithChicky
    SithChicky Posts: 74
    Options
    I tell no one .. and I like it that way
    Otherwise it seems everyone around me is a critic watching what I put in my mouth!
    If I want to have a slice of pizza one night dammit I will :p
    keep your eyes to yourself lol

    lol that too!!
  • SithChicky
    SithChicky Posts: 74
    Options
    I know what you mean. My fiance tells me sometimes that "Oh one piece of pizza won't kill you." My immediate reaction is to tell him "I know that, but if I splurge right now I'm gonna want to splurge again."

    I still wanted him to know, though. Especially since I'm still in college and I only work during the school year, so he buys most of my food for me over summer. Can't really keep my diet from him when he's the one "bringing home the bread". Lol

    But if you're more comfortable with dieting in secret then don't let anyone else know. If it helps you stay on track, do whatever you think is best. :)

    yeah, he doesn't get that even diet soda isn't good for you, and he does the, 'oh one day won't kill you' which is true, everyone has their off days, but if i have those fries, or that cake, i'm going to want to tomorrow, and again. Once I get on track, I don't want to get off track! It doesn't take much for that to happen for me because of how totally slow I lose weight.
  • SuperSexyDork
    SuperSexyDork Posts: 1,669 Member
    Options
    I wish no one but a few close friends knew. However my weight loss got noticed at work as well as my changed eating habits and now everyone knows.

    Yesterday I had someone question whether or not my salad had too many calories as it had an egg, crab and shrimp in it... ugh! Excuse me but I know what I'm putting in my body and I needed the protein and still had a ton of extra calories at the end of the day.
  • Merithyn
    Merithyn Posts: 284 Member
    Options
    yeah I hear that. I have two little kids, so they're all about the mac and cheese and pbj, and stuff like that, my older who's 3, keeps asking why I don't have sandwiches anymore lol, and why I have salad now cuz it's 'ucky' But can't really explain to her the whole 'fat' thing and whatnot,t she doesn't see that yet. if only all people were as innocent as children.. I'm not a candy person either though, or sweets for that matter.

    When my kids were little like that and I started changing my diet to more healthy types of foods, I included the kids in it. I didn't make separate meals for them, rather they ate what I ate. (As did my ex-husband, much to his chagrin.) The only differences I would make was to make them a sandwich with two pieces of whole wheat while mine only had one. Stuff like that. But I cut out the boxed foods all together for everyone, served salad at every meal (and having them help make it will make them want to eat it more), and refused to have juice boxes and the like in the house.

    I wanted my kids to grow up with healthy eating habits, something I had to learn as an adult. Now, as teenagers, they're all a healthy weight, prefer whole foods over processed, and love fruits and veggies. Now is the time to teach the kiddos what you're having to learn the hard way. More work for Mom, I know (believe me, I know - four kids in five years), but worth it completely.
  • Rae6503
    Rae6503 Posts: 6,294 Member
    Options
    I used to always try to diet in secret. I used to always fail too. Wasn't until I fully became committed and came out of the dieting closet that I was successful. To me, to diet was to admit something was wrong with me and I didn't want to do that. Now I understand that it's okay to admit things like this.
  • Ziggyzambo
    Ziggyzambo Posts: 46 Member
    Options
    I've not brought it up, but for pretty much the opposite reason. My mom's been on me to lose weight for years, and when she finds out I know she'll be a bit too liberal with the advice. With over 100lbs to lose this is going to be a long process, and I don't want others nitpicking what I'm eating for over a year.

Categories