Kindle stolen from gym. I feel too angry to return

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  • bewitchinglife
    bewitchinglife Posts: 167 Member
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    From watching the OP on this thread, it's pretty obvious that she'd rather hold onto her stress and pain. She's reacting to the people that are inflaming her situation and ignoring the people that have some really good advice. She says she wants advice on how to move on, and yet is ignoring the good stuff and clinging to the bad. It speaks volumes.

    I've reacted positively to many who have said good and valuable things. Some of those responses have been through private messages saying thanks for their help, guidance, and support. I don't want to hold on to the stress and pain, but it's definitely an area that I have a problem with. But trust me, I've been soaking in the good and helpful responses.

    Good for you! There is no use in holding on to things that hurt us. If that doesn't work, sweat hard. It's hard to be angry after a good burn.
  • JBApplebee
    JBApplebee Posts: 481 Member
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    steal [steel] Show IPA ,verb, stole, sto·len, steal·ing, noun
    verb (used with object)

    1. to take (the property of another or others) without permission or right, especially secretly or by force: A pickpocket stole his watch.

    You really need to give up while you're behind.

    All you have proven is that it could be either stolen or lost, there is always more than one action to a theft. Negligence is as important as the act of theft.

    Again, incorrect. There's no question that it was stolen. She knew right where she left it, so by the very definition of the words, it was stolen. The best you can try is that she lost it due to it being stolen.

    There isn't always more than one action to a theft. Shoplifting, for example, unless you think all stores are negligent by displaying the products they sell, which would be ridiculous, considering the amount of money spent each year on theft deterrent systems.

    If you're trying to say the blame should be equally shared, I'd have to say that if common sense were really that common, more people would have it & you wouldn't keep failing at this discussion, because nearly every adult knows right from wrong. If they choose to be a criminal, that's their fault, not the person who owns the items they steal.

    How many more straws are you going to grasp at?

    By by very definition she LOST the item (to come to be without something through accident, theft etc.). If the shops do not make an effort to minimise the theft then yes they are negligent and need to shoulder the blame to a degree, if they make every effort to stop the theft then they share no blame. Just like if the Kindle was kept secure in a locker or in a home, then there would have been no blame on behalf of the victim. It is the way the world works.

    it isn't about knowing right from wrong, it is about realising the degrees of right and wrong. It is wrong to steal something, it is also wrong to neglect something. At no point am I saying that the thief doesn't carry some responsibility for the item going missing.

    You're still trying escape on a technicality, and it's so sad. You're even including the word theft in the definition of lost, yet you can't even admit that the Kindle was stolen. It's very simple, did someone remove the Kindle from where it was without her permission? (HINT: the answer is YES) That would mean that the Kindle was specifically STOLEN. If you want to keep grasping at straws & say it was lost, what would be the cause of the loss? If you want to say negligence (& I know you do), wouldn't the Kindle have been in the same place if the sole cause was just negligence and not theft?

    Degrees of right & wrong? The thief carries some responsibility? The thief carries by far, the most responsibility. You wanting to make it an equal split is pathetic, but I'd expect nothing less since you keep trying to blame the victim.
  • frixtine
    frixtine Posts: 965 Member
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    I have a kindle fire too, and really like it, but I don't think I'd be this upset, even if it were taken right out of my car. Someone else posted earlier, do you get this upset when you are separated from things all the time? This time you have a place (the gym) to point the anger at. Maybe other times you don't. Perhaps this kind of anger is something you should talk to a counselor about. Harboring this kind of hate isn't healthy, especially if it's holding you back from weight loss/fitness goals. I know it was a gift, but it is just a kindle. Another 200 bucks and it can be replaced. I had my grandmothers cross, which was engraved from my grandfather to her in the 30s stolen out of my house by a friend, someone who had come over to visit to play cards one night, because I had taken it off in the bathroom.

    We never stopped inviting people over. I never stopped being friends with any of the people who we had over, because I don't know who did it. All I can do is hope that they live with the guilt and feel bad for it, and hope that if they did it, they did it because they needed the money badly. Going through your life harboring hate for something you can't prove or change will only make one person sick.... you.
  • katatak1
    katatak1 Posts: 261 Member
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    steal [steel] Show IPA ,verb, stole, sto·len, steal·ing, noun
    verb (used with object)

    1. to take (the property of another or others) without permission or right, especially secretly or by force: A pickpocket stole his watch.

    You really need to give up while you're behind.

    All you have proven is that it could be either stolen or lost, there is always more than one action to a theft. Negligence is as important as the act of theft.

    Again, incorrect. There's no question that it was stolen. She knew right where she left it, so by the very definition of the words, it was stolen. The best you can try is that she lost it due to it being stolen.

    There isn't always more than one action to a theft. Shoplifting, for example, unless you think all stores are negligent by displaying the products they sell, which would be ridiculous, considering the amount of money spent each year on theft deterrent systems.

    If you're trying to say the blame should be equally shared, I'd have to say that if common sense were really that common, more people would have it & you wouldn't keep failing at this discussion, because nearly every adult knows right from wrong. If they choose to be a criminal, that's their fault, not the person who owns the items they steal.

    How many more straws are you going to grasp at?

    By by very definition she LOST the item (to come to be without something through accident, theft etc.). If the shops do not make an effort to minimise the theft then yes they are negligent and need to shoulder the blame to a degree, if they make every effort to stop the theft then they share no blame. Just like if the Kindle was kept secure in a locker or in a home, then there would have been no blame on behalf of the victim. It is the way the world works.

    it isn't about knowing right from wrong, it is about realising the degrees of right and wrong. It is wrong to steal something, it is also wrong to neglect something. At no point am I saying that the thief doesn't carry some responsibility for the item going missing.

    You're still trying escape on a technicality, and it's so sad. You're even including the word theft in the definition of lost, yet you can't even admit that the Kindle was stolen. It's very simple, did someone remove the Kindle from where it was without her permission? (HINT: the answer is YES) That would mean that the Kindle was specifically STOLEN. If you want to keep grasping at straws & say it was lost, what would be the cause of the loss? If you want to say negligence (& I know you do), wouldn't the Kindle have been in the same place if the sole cause was just negligence and not theft?

    Degrees of right & wrong? The thief carries some responsibility? The thief carries by far, the most responsibility. You wanting to make it an equal split is pathetic, but I'd expect nothing less since you keep trying to blame the victim.

    He's not going to reply. He's kindly agreed to remove himself from the discussion. I absolutely appreciate all your support and willingness to defend me. Thank you. I also appreciate his willingness to remove himself.
  • 916lude
    916lude Posts: 305
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    Expensive lesson learned. This should NOT keep you out of the gym. While it has sentimental value, maybe create a goal of x weight lost in x amount of days and you can go out and buy yourself another one. Stuff like this happens.
  • katatak1
    katatak1 Posts: 261 Member
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    Expensive lesson learned. This should NOT keep you out of the gym. While it has sentimental value, maybe create a goal of x weight lost in x amount of days and you can go out and buy yourself another one. Stuff like this happens.

    I know it shouldn't keep me out of the gym, and so far I haven't let it. I've been seething with anger, but I've been going. Any advice on getting over the anger? Thanks.
  • BrunetteRunner87
    BrunetteRunner87 Posts: 591 Member
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    Look on the bright side, now you have an excuse to get an iPad.
  • katatak1
    katatak1 Posts: 261 Member
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    Look on the bright side, now you have an excuse to get an iPad.

    Hey now, I liked my Kindle. I'll probably save up for a Nexus 7 instead though.
  • peasantgirly
    peasantgirly Posts: 173 Member
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    OP, you might try editing your first post to really point out that it's the violation that's bothering you, and not the loss. I don't think people are reading through the whole thread before replying, so they are missing the point.
  • beckajw
    beckajw Posts: 1,738 Member
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    A couple details. It was 5 am on Monday. I was alone in the gym and assumed I was safe. I forgot it was there when I set it down on the floor. I left the gym. It was empty. I walked back to my apartment, realized my mistake and returned. It was gone. The gym was empty. I spent about 10 minutes away from the gym. It's deactivated, police report is filed. My main concern now is how to get over the anger so I don't seethe for the rest of the day after a workout. Just being there pisses me off.

    I would check with management and put up flyers--start by assuming that the person who took it meant to be a good person not a bad one.

    Then, I'd talk about it (as you are doing now).

    After that--I'm not sure how to get over the feeling. I think you just have to give it time. There are bad people in this world and we've all been taken advantage of (including the person who took advantage of you).
  • katatak1
    katatak1 Posts: 261 Member
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    OP, you might try editing your first post to really point out that it's the violation that's bothering you, and not the loss. I don't think people are reading through the whole thread before replying, so they are missing the point.

    I wanted to, and I tried, but the edit button is gone. Not sure why.
  • robhigareda
    robhigareda Posts: 47 Member
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    Look on the bright side, now you have an excuse to get an iPad.

    Hey now, I liked my Kindle. I'll probably save up for a Nexus 7 instead though.

    Solid choice, forget the iPad, stick with the Android goodness :)

    Sorry for someone ruining your gym for you :*( Not coool
  • AlsDonkBoxSquat
    AlsDonkBoxSquat Posts: 6,128 Member
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    OP, you might try editing your first post to really point out that it's the violation that's bothering you, and not the loss. I don't think people are reading through the whole thread before replying, so they are missing the point.

    I wanted to, and I tried, but the edit button is gone. Not sure why.

    An OP only has a limited amount of time during which it can be edited. I don't know about here, but in other forums this allows the general context of a post to remain the same and prevents the poster from deleting an entire OP after having posting regrets.
  • lisasch67
    lisasch67 Posts: 135 Member
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    Stealing is awful. I've never had anything stolen from me at the gym, but other people have had things stolen at my gym. It's a tough lesson to learn, but don't be angry at the gym. The gym is good for you. If anything work out your anger there. The gym didn't steal the kindle, the other people that go there did.... Be mad at them. Mistakes happen whether you believe in Karma or not, so just move forward and think positive things. Instead of thinking "I left my kindle at the gym and I never got it back" think "I left 10 lbs at the gym and never got it back" ... it's all about perspective.

    Again, sorry your kindle got stolen. I hope you can replace it soon :)
  • rbear713
    rbear713 Posts: 220 Member
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    i would be really mad if that happened to me. at least now youll know to be more careful with things at the gym. when i was 16 and joined the gym I got $60 stolen out of my purse, now I always make sure that I bring a lock or leave credit cards/cash at home.

    They got a $100 bill out of my wallet - which is my own dumb fault for not locking my locker - I've brought a lock every single day since! I keep relearning this lesson....if you dont want to lose it or have it stolen, lock it up - even when and where you feel completely and totally safe....
  • sl1ngsh0t
    sl1ngsh0t Posts: 326 Member
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    Hate to say it, but if you chose to leave something of value unlocked and out of view, you're asking for it to be ripped off. Hard lesson learned, but a valuable one. I'd take it as a learning experience and move on. Don't ever leave valuables unattended. Ever.

    If the landlord won't allow you to post a sign, HAVE THEM DO IT. Someone took a rug I had drying out after a professional steam clean and I went directly to mine. She made notes and shoved one through the crack of everyone's door. My rug was returned within 48 hours.
  • Bobby_Clerici
    Bobby_Clerici Posts: 1,828 Member
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    I suppose it's easier to forgive them and wish them well and move on with life. That's the right thing to do.
    Resentment is like poison to our soul.
    Good Luck to you; I hope you feel better whatever you decide.
  • peasantgirly
    peasantgirly Posts: 173 Member
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    OP, you might try editing your first post to really point out that it's the violation that's bothering you, and not the loss. I don't think people are reading through the whole thread before replying, so they are missing the point.

    I wanted to, and I tried, but the edit button is gone. Not sure why.

    I think there's a time limit like an hour or two from when you first post, and after that you can't edit :(
  • bpientok
    bpientok Posts: 14
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    Awsome advice!!
  • roch1972
    roch1972 Posts: 113 Member
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    I've had my purse stolen from the gym, 2 days before getting my driver's license for the first time. That s*ucked! More recently, a "friend" who had a key, whom I trusted with my son, stole a credit card from my home and maxed it out. This happened more than 2 years ago but I'm still upset. Not because she maxed out the card, she was charged for the crime but because of the betrayal. You have to believe that whomever stole your kindle was in dire straits and/or so far gone from reality that eventually their behavior WILL catch up with them.

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