Self hating remarks...

I agree. However some thrive on self pity and negativity. It shows in their daily posts and lives.

Thank you for putting that into perspective. You are absolutely right! We could all use a little reminder of a bigger picture. I appreciate your posting this.

For those who say they can and will describe themselves however they like, is it really too much to ask for the addition of a couple of words?

It's one thing to say 'I was a disgusting blob of fat' and quite another to say 'I felt as if I were a disgusting blob of fat'.

Personally, I'm thick enough skinned that I only think in passing 'sheesh, if that's what they thought about themselves at that weight, what the heck would they think about me at this weight'? And then go read something else. But there are enough people on here with esteem issues who could be sent into a downward spiral by those casually spoken words.

Sure, there is freedom of speech and all that but it's an over used excused for people to just be rude to one another and themselves.

I feel this is an excellent point!

I also feel that the motivation to finally take action against our weight problems is often something negative; in my case it was seeing a picture of myself on the beach last summer and thinking, "OMG! I resemble a whale! When did that happen?"

I should have said, "OMG, I feel as if I resemble a whale! When did that happen?"

But the point is, I was appalled with myself, so much so that I finally decided to do something about it, and I suspect many others could say the same thing, hence the "self-hating" comments.

So, while I agree that the words "I feel" are a more diplomatic way of stating things, and it is important to be positive about ourselves and others, saying something negative about the way we feel we used to look seems understandable to me.

At my current weight, I *am* a fat disgusting unhealthy slob. That doesn't mean that anyone else is. Some people are wonderful, healthy, happy, and energetic at my weight. I am not. My weight drains me of energy, making me grumpy,, irritable, and overall not a good person to be around. I can only speak for myself, and if anyone else reads anything more into it, that's their issue, not mine. Personally, I need the negative attitude to motivate me. The "oh, I'm fine the way I am" school of thought is how I ballooned up in the first place.

It's a defense mechanism. Say it first before someone says it to you. Not healthy.

For those who say they can and will describe themselves however they like, is it really too much to ask for the addition of a couple of words?

It's one thing to say 'I was a disgusting blob of fat' and quite another to say 'I felt as if I were a disgusting blob of fat'.

Personally, I'm thick enough skinned that I only think in passing 'sheesh, if that's what they thought about themselves at that weight, what the heck would they think about me at this weight'? And then go read something else. But there are enough people on here with esteem issues who could be sent into a downward spiral by those casually spoken words.

Sure, there is freedom of speech and all that but it's an over used excused for people to just be rude to one another and themselves.

Completely agree.

I live by the belief (on forums), 'If you wouldn't say it in person, don't type it while hiding behind a computer screen.'

When a morbidly obese person comments on your fantastic weight loss and asks how you feel now; would you stand there in the parking lot and say, "I feel so much better now that I'm not the disgusting fat pos drain on society that I used to be!"?

No. I daresay you wouldn't. Because irl, that person would tell you off, start to cry, or at very least never speak to you again after that.

Nobody looks at the b!tchy person bragging about how they used to be disgusting but now are athletic and incredible and feels inspired. They look at someone like me, who tells them they are great for trying. That they are wonderful just as they are, but that wouldn't it be better to let your body work as it was designed to. Someone who is positive and loving, because even though I'm not fat anymore, I'm still on this journey.

I'm not bragging, I'm being honest. Try it sometime. Honesty is VERY different from having no filter.

Erm. :noway: I do refer to myself in person as a [former] fat slob. I also recognize that I have a LONG way to go. I'm still not a healthy weight. I'm still fat. Not as fat, and I'm no longer obese, but I'm still fat. I have people say, "you weren't THAT big." Wrong. I was a fat, lazy slob. I didn't do anything to take care of myself. I ate crap all.the.time. And LOTS of it. MORE THAN HALF OF MY BODY WAS FAT!!!! That's not "not that bad." That's fat. Period.

I'm sorry, but I have to agree with Obeserat. It's not appropriate to tell other people how to feel about themselves or how to talk about themselves. While I appreciate your positivity, you need to remember that some people handle their emotions differently and that negativity actually propels some people forward and they need to remind themselves that they were/are fat/ugly/disgusting. It's nature that some people were raised to think positively to move forward and some people were raised to think negatively.

Notice rjmwx81 says exactly this. He needs to say that to himself to keep motivated.

For those individuals who take it personally when someone else calls themselves fat, that's a personal issue that they need to deal with. If I want to call myself fat and disgusting at my weight, then I will. I'm not going to put on a happy face so everyone else on the forum can feel good about themselves.

If people say that everyone who weighs a certain weight is a big fat cow, then by all means, criticize away.

But if they're talking about themselves, just exit the forum. They reserve the right to feel fat and ugly. You reserve the right not to read their post. But don't judge people just because they don't think like you do.