What is wrong with me?!?

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2

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  • mbcan316
    mbcan316 Posts: 41 Member
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    Maybe he's worried you will find someone new once since you are becoming a "new you"??? You need to ask him directly & let him know that not answering your question is only going to hurt the relationship.
  • pupcamper
    pupcamper Posts: 415 Member
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    Hopefully you both just need a little bit of time to adjust! This journey is as much emotional as it is physical and the emotional part seems to take a little longer to deal with! Good luck.:drinker:
  • iLoveMyPitbull1225
    iLoveMyPitbull1225 Posts: 1,690 Member
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    Honey, he is a meanie. He tells you you are retarded? Dont get her ego up? I would smack my boyfriend right in his mouth if he talked to me that way.

    You deserve better! you are gorgeous and you should be proud of yourself, and more important to the thread your boyfriend should be proud of you too. Its hard for any of us to know whats going on because we dont know you two, but I suspect more is going on here then it seems. like other people said, he may be insecure. Like the ego comment though, it sounds like he wants you to feel badly about yourself, and thats pure BS.
  • RamTX22
    RamTX22 Posts: 165 Member
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    Maybe he is insecure because he fears the change in you is gonna get you noticed more by other men ???
  • skinnyinnotime
    skinnyinnotime Posts: 4,141 Member
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    I don't agree he should be 'excited' for you exactly, but he's being very negative towards you. You say you've asked him and all he replies with is "I'm tired/it's hot" to me this means "I can't say because you'll think I'm a prize prick".

    Sorry you're going through this, he's being very unfair.
  • Dreamerryu27
    Dreamerryu27 Posts: 281 Member
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    He definatley sounds insecure. I don't think you should break up but I would back off and do my own thing for a bit. Continue to be positive and make positive changes in your life. He has to love you for you on the inside, the outside is just a bonus no matter what size you are!
  • petecat_1999
    petecat_1999 Posts: 24
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    I dont feel like I have changed, he doesn't care about weight or anything, he gets mad if I even try to talk to him about working out or anythin that has anything to do with diet and exercise. Anytime I try and talk to him about it or ask him why he has been acting so strange he sayd "im tired" or "its hot" so I dont know what else to do, anytime someone comments on how well I look he says oh god dont get her ego up, its almost like hes mad because I am getting positive attention. But shouldn't he be happy for me and proud?? I would if the tables were turned. I dont know maybe I am just being a baby.

    Is it possible that he feel threatened that you will get fit and leave him for someone else? Just a thought
    My thoughts exactly, I have a few friends that were in ur exact situation and it all boiled down to..getting outside attention, and thoughts of "well maybe your doing this cause your in the market to go elsewhere!" You two need to get on the same page with whats going on in both ur heads, and if he doesn't want to talk then try and just let it go..maybe if you don't react he'll finally get up the gut to tell u what he's really thinking. You have accomplished something..there should be happiness behind that!
  • mgeaux
    mgeaux Posts: 41 Member
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    Probably insecure. I bet he feels like if you get skinny you will look even hotter and a new guy will come and sweep you off your feet.
  • BigDaddyBRC
    BigDaddyBRC Posts: 2,395 Member
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    Why are you questioning your SELF image? Stop beating yourself down. Every man is different and likes different aspects of women. RISE up in confidence of who you are, your achievements for being healthier. If his insecurities are too much, then that his issue, not yours.
  • lisastrom
    lisastrom Posts: 108 Member
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    I'm going to play Dear Abby here and say that it sounds to me like he has issues w/insecurity. I have known plenty of people like this in my life and it can be impossible to deal with.You need to take an honest look at your relationship and determine whether there might be other situations where he has acted this same way. If so, it's a pattern that probably will not change unless he decides to change it. If with conversation and some effort on your part, if his behaviors do not change, it's my guess that he will never be happy for you and you need to decide if you can accept his behaviors.
  • ChristineDiet
    ChristineDiet Posts: 719 Member
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    I dont feel like I have changed, he doesn't care about weight or anything, he gets mad if I even try to talk to him about working out or anythin that has anything to do with diet and exercise. Anytime I try and talk to him about it or ask him why he has been acting so strange he sayd "im tired" or "its hot" so I dont know what else to do, anytime someone comments on how well I look he says oh god dont get her ego up, its almost like hes mad because I am getting positive attention. But shouldn't he be happy for me and proud?? I would if the tables were turned. I dont know maybe I am just being a baby.

    Is it possible that he feel threatened that you will get fit and leave him for someone else? Just a thought

    ^^ this. My ex husband went all obsessive on me when I lost a ton of weight. (I then gained it back after having 2 more children with my now partner, car crash etc) but he told me afterwards that he was jealous that I would leave him for someone better as he felt I was too good for him! I left him for being a **** not because I was better than him (that's a whole Oprah show). I think you need to confront him - when you have time for just the two of you. good luck. x
  • shoobz
    shoobz Posts: 119
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    My BF is like that too, sometimes he will be CLEARLY in a bad mood and claim he is fine. I tell him "Listen, I can see there's something wrong. Other people have noticed too. Either you're the smartest person in the world, or you're just lying. Tell me what's going on or get out."

    You should try this. Generally gets an answer out of him.
  • aridge08
    aridge08 Posts: 16
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    Thanks guys for all your help, I am glad I am not the one who is crazy here! we are both still kind of young I am 24 and he is 26, I just dont want to waste my time on someone who doesnt appreciate or support me.
  • Leaha1987
    Leaha1987 Posts: 2 Member
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    There is nothing wrong with you. If he is making you feel this way then maybe you do need to kick him to the curb. You shouldn't let any man make you feel bad for losing weight. If you are happy with the weight loss then don't let him stand in your way and make you stop. Keep your head up and don't EVER let a man stand in your way from the things that you want or things that make you happy. Good luck girl.
  • Alish1974
    Alish1974 Posts: 20 Member
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    He is insecure about the whole situation. He very likely does think that if you are slimmer you will get more attention and find someone new. While thinking these thoughts in his head is one thing, if he is actually putting you down or degrading you or making uncomplimentary comments you need to address the situation. For your own health you need to explain that you need him to be "on board" with you trying to better yourself. In my opinion, If he is not willing to be supportive you need to move on instead of trying to be the person he needs you to be so he can feel secure.
  • casperuk
    casperuk Posts: 195 Member
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    I dont feel like I have changed, he doesn't care about weight or anything, he gets mad if I even try to talk to him about working out or anythin that has anything to do with diet and exercise. Anytime I try and talk to him about it or ask him why he has been acting so strange he sayd "im tired" or "its hot" so I dont know what else to do, anytime someone comments on how well I look he says oh god dont get her ego up, its almost like hes mad because I am getting positive attention. But shouldn't he be happy for me and proud?? I would if the tables were turned. I dont know maybe I am just being a baby.

    Is it possible that he feel threatened that you will get fit and leave him for someone else? Just a thought

    This is my take on it.

    You are a good looking girl (The OP, not you ImKindOfABigD) and maybe he thinks that if you turn enough heads one of them will turn yours. Is the baby in the profile his? You said about kicking him to the curb, that seems a bit excessive at this point but then none of us are living your life right now. I think though he has an issue, the difficult bit is to determine if its simply he likes larger girls OR He doesnt want you looking hotter OR you have changed and since you wont know it yourself you cannot give an objective opinion on that.

    Good luck whatever happens. x
  • DPernet
    DPernet Posts: 481 Member
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    Next time he comes home, dress skimpy and greet him at the door with a beer and a blowj#b. He's a guy. That should do the trick
  • sistatv
    sistatv Posts: 53 Member
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    Uh honey... He has to go...

    He calls you names when you try to express your true feelings for him??? That's a shame He isn't supporting you as you make this major amazing change in your life for the better. And he isn't giving you the love and affectionate you want, need, and deserve. If he really is the man for you he will straighten up and do what the has to do keep you in his life... You deserve what you want in life and if you want some one who is going to treat you well... Based on what you've shared here ... Hes' not it...

    Drop that zero and go find you a hero...
  • beansprouts
    beansprouts Posts: 410 Member
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    Ok, I just have to kind of vent and need a little advice, I have really slimmed down and my boyfriend acts like he cant stand it! It is almost like he wants me to be a big lardo. He use to be all over me and now i do good to get him to hug me. WTH? I don't feel like im gross, I am actually starting to like myself finally and I just don't get what he is going through.... has anyone went through this before or have any advice for me, should i just kick his *kitten* to the curb or what? Thanks!

    Question....Would you be willing to gain the weight back in order to make him happy?
  • jcriscuolo
    jcriscuolo Posts: 319 Member
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    Dump him. You are too young to waste your time on a negative, uncommunicative, insecure loser.
    You are heading in the right direction and he is trying to drag you down. He will be an anchor around your neck.
    A 26 year old man that is not interested in sex has issues. But that's a whole 'nuther thread.
    Good luck.

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