What is wrong with me?!?
Replies
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I dont feel like I have changed, he doesn't care about weight or anything, he gets mad if I even try to talk to him about working out or anythin that has anything to do with diet and exercise. Anytime I try and talk to him about it or ask him why he has been acting so strange he sayd "im tired" or "its hot" so I dont know what else to do, anytime someone comments on how well I look he says oh god dont get her ego up, its almost like hes mad because I am getting positive attention. But shouldn't he be happy for me and proud?? I would if the tables were turned. I dont know maybe I am just being a baby.
Is it possible that he feel threatened that you will get fit and leave him for someone else? Just a thought
^^ this. My ex husband went all obsessive on me when I lost a ton of weight. (I then gained it back after having 2 more children with my now partner, car crash etc) but he told me afterwards that he was jealous that I would leave him for someone better as he felt I was too good for him! I left him for being a **** not because I was better than him (that's a whole Oprah show). I think you need to confront him - when you have time for just the two of you. good luck. x0 -
My BF is like that too, sometimes he will be CLEARLY in a bad mood and claim he is fine. I tell him "Listen, I can see there's something wrong. Other people have noticed too. Either you're the smartest person in the world, or you're just lying. Tell me what's going on or get out."
You should try this. Generally gets an answer out of him.0 -
Thanks guys for all your help, I am glad I am not the one who is crazy here! we are both still kind of young I am 24 and he is 26, I just dont want to waste my time on someone who doesnt appreciate or support me.0
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There is nothing wrong with you. If he is making you feel this way then maybe you do need to kick him to the curb. You shouldn't let any man make you feel bad for losing weight. If you are happy with the weight loss then don't let him stand in your way and make you stop. Keep your head up and don't EVER let a man stand in your way from the things that you want or things that make you happy. Good luck girl.0
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He is insecure about the whole situation. He very likely does think that if you are slimmer you will get more attention and find someone new. While thinking these thoughts in his head is one thing, if he is actually putting you down or degrading you or making uncomplimentary comments you need to address the situation. For your own health you need to explain that you need him to be "on board" with you trying to better yourself. In my opinion, If he is not willing to be supportive you need to move on instead of trying to be the person he needs you to be so he can feel secure.0
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I dont feel like I have changed, he doesn't care about weight or anything, he gets mad if I even try to talk to him about working out or anythin that has anything to do with diet and exercise. Anytime I try and talk to him about it or ask him why he has been acting so strange he sayd "im tired" or "its hot" so I dont know what else to do, anytime someone comments on how well I look he says oh god dont get her ego up, its almost like hes mad because I am getting positive attention. But shouldn't he be happy for me and proud?? I would if the tables were turned. I dont know maybe I am just being a baby.
Is it possible that he feel threatened that you will get fit and leave him for someone else? Just a thought
This is my take on it.
You are a good looking girl (The OP, not you ImKindOfABigD) and maybe he thinks that if you turn enough heads one of them will turn yours. Is the baby in the profile his? You said about kicking him to the curb, that seems a bit excessive at this point but then none of us are living your life right now. I think though he has an issue, the difficult bit is to determine if its simply he likes larger girls OR He doesnt want you looking hotter OR you have changed and since you wont know it yourself you cannot give an objective opinion on that.
Good luck whatever happens. x0 -
Next time he comes home, dress skimpy and greet him at the door with a beer and a blowj#b. He's a guy. That should do the trick0
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Uh honey... He has to go...
He calls you names when you try to express your true feelings for him??? That's a shame He isn't supporting you as you make this major amazing change in your life for the better. And he isn't giving you the love and affectionate you want, need, and deserve. If he really is the man for you he will straighten up and do what the has to do keep you in his life... You deserve what you want in life and if you want some one who is going to treat you well... Based on what you've shared here ... Hes' not it...
Drop that zero and go find you a hero...0 -
Ok, I just have to kind of vent and need a little advice, I have really slimmed down and my boyfriend acts like he cant stand it! It is almost like he wants me to be a big lardo. He use to be all over me and now i do good to get him to hug me. WTH? I don't feel like im gross, I am actually starting to like myself finally and I just don't get what he is going through.... has anyone went through this before or have any advice for me, should i just kick his *kitten* to the curb or what? Thanks!
Question....Would you be willing to gain the weight back in order to make him happy?0 -
Dump him. You are too young to waste your time on a negative, uncommunicative, insecure loser.
You are heading in the right direction and he is trying to drag you down. He will be an anchor around your neck.
A 26 year old man that is not interested in sex has issues. But that's a whole 'nuther thread.
Good luck.0 -
Why are you questioning your SELF image? Stop beating yourself down. Every man is different and likes different aspects of women. RISE up in confidence of who you are, your achievements for being healthier. If his insecurities are too much, then that his issue, not yours.
^^^this. Do NOT take his issues on as your own. If my partner wasn't happy with my happiness and health, he'd be history. I'm fortunate, mine would love me regardless, but having somone in my corner and working to meet his own fitness goals at the same time is priceless.0 -
^^^^^^^^^Is he overweight?
THIS----he may feel insecure and think he's on the way out once better guys come sniffin' around.0 -
Honey, he is a meanie. He tells you you are retarded? Dont get her ego up? I would smack my boyfriend right in his mouth if he talked to me that way.
You deserve better! you are gorgeous and you should be proud of yourself, and more important to the thread your boyfriend should be proud of you too. Its hard for any of us to know whats going on because we dont know you two, but I suspect more is going on here then it seems. like other people said, he may be insecure. Like the ego comment though, it sounds like he wants you to feel badly about yourself, and thats pure BS.
No doubt! I guess when I was younger I would have brushed that of but being with the man I have now and knowing how abusive those words are; I'd be gone quickly!0 -
does he have limp wrists0
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Limp wrists??0
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You are making this life change for you and no one else. If he can't see that and only wants to put you down and try to sabotage your efforts to become a healthy person then he needs to go. I would walk home across town rather than have my boyfriend say something like that to me. He encourages me in my weight loss the entire way. He met me when I was only 30 lbs into my wieght loss and has seen me lose another 55 lbs. He should know what makes you happy is what he should support and get rid of his insecurities because that is all it is, he is projecting on your his fears.0
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this is a tough one.....i wasn't trusted ever .... especially when I started to lose weight. Ultimately it cost me my relationship. Hang in there, if nothing else know that this is a process, and not an event!0
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