Why cant I just do this (VENT)

Until you "really" want it, you will sabotage yourself and fail. For me it all clicked one day. I was sick of it taking an hour to find something to wear that would hide my excess weight. I was sick of the tight clothes. I was sick of wearing a hoodie in 90 degree weather. As I was getting dressed on 01/18/11, I just said "this is it" and it was. I dropped 50 lbs in 7 months and have kept it off.

I didn't do it all at once. I didn't throw exercise into the plan until 3-4 months into my new eating lifestyle. I logged before I ate. If the food put me over, I wouldn't eat it. You have to want it. If I would have tried to start a whole new exercise routing and eating plan, I would have failed because it would have been too much for me. That's just me.

YOU can do it. YOU have it within you. Remember you can't finish the race until you actually start.

As others have said, don't buy junk that will cause you to cheat and fail. If others in your house want it, tell them to go buy it and keep it where you can't find it. Stay with the plan! YOU CAN DO IT!!!

Instead of some lame patronizing comment (there will be many to come), all I can really say is this:

You have to want it.

Yes, everyone WANTS to have a model or a gymnast's body. Or a bodybuilder's body or whatever. But 99% of people just don't have the dedication and willpower to put in the hard work.

Until you're really ready it's going be next to impossible. It's like quitting smoking or drugs. You have to really want it or you're just going to keep relapsing.

Once it clicks, there's no going back.

My only real suggestion is to try baby steps. Don't try to uproot your whole way of eating or exercising. Do one thing. Cut out sugary drinks and/or soda. Just try that. In a month, try walking for 15 minutes a day, every day. Everyone's got 15 minutes right? Keep progressing and slowly substitute crappy snacks for better snacks, crappy meals for better meals, and sitting on the couch for meaningful exercise. I'm 14-15 months in and I'm still making improvements to my diet and exercise every week. Baby steps. No one just changes their entire way of life in a day.

I wouldn't have been as nice, but this is the answer you need.

You are so not alone on this one!!! I struggle with this every single day! Feel free to add me as a friend if you ever need to vent or chat

Do you have a "trigger" food? I have discovered that m&m's are my trigger food, which should be no surprise to me. Apparently I can't limit myself to just a few like I used to be able to do. So, for right now, I am not keeping any in the house because I will mindlessly just eat a "few" here and there until I've eaten 200 calories of them or so.

Also, once I eat m&m's I seem to crave more sugar. However, I can eat a few "Dots" candy during the day and they don't seem to make me crave more sugar at all.

The other thing I was doing was telling myself "I'll start tomorrow." Once I had "ruined" (according to me) my eating plan for the day by indulging in something, I would just eat whatever I wanted and tell myself I'd start tomorrow. Only tomorrow never came because I would "ruin" that day's eating too.

I realized that one indulgence didn't have to ruin the entire day for me, so if I DO indulge in something (today I had an ice cream cone) then I just accept it, don't beat myself up over it, and just try to continue to make better choices the rest of the day. Whereas in the past, that ice cream would have given me a free license to just eat whatever I wanted because I was going to start a diet "tomorrow" and so I'd better eat whatever I wanted that day.

You can do this and you WILL do it and your love for your children will be your motivation. Put pictures of them on your fridge, on your snack cupboard, and even on your wallet (for when you eat out). That will be a visual reminder to you to make the better choices that you want to make.

You sound like an awesome, loving mom and stop beating yourself up about what's happened before and just take a small step today towards your future. What ONE thing can you do today to make a better choice? And then do the same tomorrow, and the tomorrow after that. Pretty soon, your habits will change and YOU will change! Hang in there, you can do it.

It is always nice to know that someone else feels EXACTLY how you do. I have done every single "diet" known to man.. and all have failed. The advice on here is all great. You do have to WANT it. And no one in this world can make you do it but YOU. I have a daughter who is in gymnastics and is so paranoid about gaining weight, she is 9. It scares me that she will have some kind of eating disorder so that she doesn't end up like Mommy. So, I decided one day that I would start this and do it right.. I struggle every single day.. I find alternatives to sweets.. eat healthier snacks.. count every single calorie.. I get mad when I don't see the scale go down a digit.. but I just have to reassure myself that it WILL go down..I can't lose 100 lbs overnight.. it took 26 years to get this heavy, it will take me a while to lose it. But I look at myself every day and I don't like what I see.. I read all of these success stories and I want to be * going to be * one of them one day.. with a before and after pic that looks AMAZING. Don't look at this as a DIET, think of it as a new lifestyle.. a better, healthier life style. I want to be an old grandma watching my great grandbabies one day.. Not dead before I am 40 with a heart attack.. I reward myself when I meet my mini goals.. When my friends or family are eating horrible things that I once enjoyed.. I just keep telling myself how bad it is for me and that I can't have it.. It works for me.. especially counting calories.. I look up what those foods would cost my calorie goal for that day and I ask myself if it is worth it ? Not really.. You can do it!

Set a me goal. I found I do so much for everyone else, work, husband etc. I set my own goal, I did a cleanse, added this myfitnesspal to my food plan. I do run but set a goal to do a marathon. Well I have lost 12 pounds in 3 weeks. I eat fruit, vegetables, chicken and fish. I do not eat out as this elimates your control.

Now with my exercise and food control I actually am not eating the calories I should. I feel health, challenged and determined to finish my marathon and get totally healthy by October. It is a mind set and every day is a goal to accomplish just a little, a longer run, a faster run, a good time, under food goal and I celebrate every win and fight any time I eat a little more than I should. One day over, is easily fixed if you tackle it the next day and don't feel guilty and more importantly don't ignore.

I wasn't motivated til my husband left me... for other reasons (some mutual)... I wish I had been motivated for my health (and many other things) long before. But it is what is.

I read somewhere, "Do something today your future self will thank you for". Think about yourself in 6 months, a year. Where do you want be, how do you want to feel and what do you want to accomplish. And if you don't pursue your goals, imagine that in a year. That sort of visualization does help me to get going since time just keeps passing by.

^^This I LOVE!! Thank you for sharing this..I love what you are saying about thinking of myself a year from now. A year from now I can be maybe half of my weight now and definitely about to move and get around playing with my kids OR I can still be sitting on this couch, eating crap, drinking soda and feeling crappy and tired all the time. HMM...which do I want to be?? Thank you SO SO SO MUCH for sharing that!!

Angel

In regards to the giving up, I've done it too. Heck I have done it the past few days - just quit b/c I have no support at home. However, try to think of what works for YOU not what works for everyone else. I had to put a sign up in my bathroom saying, "Don't quit! Do it for yourself not anyone else!"

As far as the starting slow I agree. If you like shopping, just go to a store and wander for 15 minutes. Yes, it would just be the slow walking (i.e. 2.0 mph) but it's a start and you will like it. Or call someone while you walk so it can be fun for you and a good use of time. Ask your kids to go walking with you (if they are old enough) or put them in a stroller or whatever.

You can do this! I'm the same weight as you so if you want to add me, we can message each other and motivate one another.

I think my biggest problem with staying motivated is that I find myself saying "Oh, look! Cheesecake! I can always start tomorrow" and tomorrow, of course, never comes. I lack the sense of urgency which goes along with what some people have already said.

I want to want it! I want to want to be urgent!

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this is exacly what im talking about-tomorrow, and you made an excelent point. i was severly over weight for my height, and sick and tired and ill. the thing that knocked me for a loop, was going to the doctor and he asked me if i wanted to live OR was i ready for diabetis an heart decease. i have 3 kids, they need me, and so does my family. the food was KILLING me- no matter how you do it- do something before its too late. DO YOU WANT TO LIVE...and be healthy.

Concentrate on Burning Calories -Exercise, so you don't have to deprive yourself of all the foods you like !:flowerforyou:

I know how you feel. Are you still doing Quick Weight Loss Center program? I was just wondering how it was going for you.

I'm going to agree with everyone else in that you have to want this bad enough. You have to be willing to put in the work that it takes, because it does take work. Set smaller, more attainable goals instead of looking at the big picture. Don't throw everything out the window if you slip up. Just dust yourself off and get back to it. Remember that this needs to be a lifestyle change, not a short term diet. You need to do what you can sustain for the rest of your life. You didn't gain the weight overnight, so you won't lose it overnight either. Slow and steady wins the race. It is so worth it. Good luck to you.

I'm so glad that you posted your vent, OP - the answers people have given are so helpful. Baby steps have been my focus on my journey this time around, and this helps to confirm that. I have a horrible habit of getting lost in the big picture, so this thread has been a great reminder to take it slowly and commit to the small stuff to have it add up to big changes.

I feel the EXACT same way!!! I had my 3rd baby 7 months ago and had lost 30 lbs after having him and, surprise, surprise, I have gained it all back already. It's so hard for me to diet and workout since I am in college and working and don't always have the time to cook "healthy". I know I need to loose the weight and want to loose the weight, but can't figure out why I can't keep it off. At this point I'm just frustrated.

you will do it when being the way you are hurts more than the effort to change

This deserves quoting. I stopped reading the thread (when I got to this post) to do so.

I had had enough of feeling like *kitten*.
I couldn't stand being miserable any longer.
I have lost (& gained) at least 500lbs (made up of the same 25+lbs 20 times!) in 20yrs and was getting bigger & bigger with every diet.
On Jan 1st this year I decided that was it - I was sick of my life being ruled by food (& trying to avoid it) so on Jan 2nd I started logging on MFP and here I am, still logging EVERY day and EVERY bite.
I had hoped to have lost double what I've managed by this point however things have been a bit slower than I'd have liked, BUT I'm 35lbs lighter than I was on New Years Day and that is bloody fantastic.
I will keep on keeping on and with luck I'll be another 20+ down by New Years Eve

What the others have said is exactly right - you have to WANT this. You have to want it so much that you're willing to resist the temptations (& god knows we all understand how difficult that can be), but it IS worth it and you CAN do it.

I also agree with the guy who said that the 'high' of having control of yourself (& your eating) is really wonderful. It's a feeling of empowerment that most overweight people have never previously experienced, and it's awesome. I hate how awful I feel when I stuff up so I try to avoid putting myself through that torture anymore - instead enjoying to bed at the end of the day feeling great that I've stayed within my cals again (when it would've been so easy not to).

When you're ready you'll do this - if you can start today then that'd be fab. If it's tomorrow that's ok too. But just think if you start now then in 6 months time you'll be so glad you did........or you may be as miserable as you feel right now, looking back wishing you'd begun in July :flowerforyou: