Almost in tears and I can't quite explain why

I'm jealous of you that you have lost 52 lbs! A lot of people wish they were in your shoes! Feel good about what YOU have accomplished!! Plus,sounds like she is crash dieting doing low carb and low calories. She ma ynot keep it off but you will because you learned the slow steady way!!!

I think we ALL (especially women) struggle with beating ourselves up for every perceived "failure." We are our HARSHEST critics. I feel your pain, because I've found myself in that same spot, crying, feeling like a failure, all because I'm comparing myself against something else and not measuring up. :flowerforyou:

I try to just see this as part of the journey -- maybe if I can learn to give myself a break, to enjoy my successes more, and to keep looking inward instead of comparing outward, I'll have made some bigger strides than just pounds along the way.

Hang in there girl -- and don't feel silly, or selfish, or bad about those feelings. We ALL have them sometimes. And it's not because we wish bad things for others. We just flog ourselves too much.

Hang in there. Take out some old photos, and let yourself see how far you've come. And then really really savor that success.

Yeah, what they said. LOL

You're doing great. Slow and steady win the race.

Hey there,

Just read your post. It's perfectly normal to envy what people have or have accomplished if the thing is something you want for yourself. However, what works for one does not work for another and you need to draw a line under this right now. You need to work out what is important to you and use that as YOUR drive.

I have friends who are doing a diet club (SW/WW etc) and yeah, it did get my goat a little that they had lost so much weight in a shorter amount of time but, at the end of the day, what I'm doing is eating nutritionally better for me, adopting long term lifestyle changes, and exercising regularly so I know I'm on the right pathway. If it takes 2 years to lose all of my weight then so be it. I'd rather do it this way and for it to take longer but with a higher success rate of not gaining the weight back, than lose it through being miserable and denying myself of loads of foods I can't have.

Weight management is not simply about losing weight (or gaining it even). It's about your relationship with food and how you feel about it. We link pleasure and pain to food and the confusion starts when we link both emotions to the same food. If you've stalled, it would help you looking at the foods you eat....that you like so you can make a decision whether long term these foods are making you happy or not. If they're not then get rid.

You have to cut yourself some slack, you've done amazingly well so far and you can continue to do so. Like I said earlier, draw a line under how that email made you feel and do something you enjoy....e.g. go shopping, get your nails done, read your favourite mag or watch your favourite movie. You are in charge of your feelings which means you can feel happier about this little glitch.

Good luck on your journey pet!

Chin up girl!.. see my ticker below.. yeah its been like this for a whole year.. i have people around me who doesnt train hard started off few months back and today they are at healthy weight and i am still stuck, i have my days where in i cried bucket full of tears but everything said and done, i hvnt given up.. ... NOTHING CAN DE-MOTIVATE ME..and i will not STOP .You are doing great.. keep at it!! Success comes to those who believe it.

Thank you everyone. This is what I needed and this is why I posted my feelings. I need the outside view looking in. I needed someone to grab me by the shoulders and give me a BIG shake!

Iknow this whole journey has a lot to do with "re-configuring" the brain also. Which is VERY HARD FOR ME. And my response/reaction to my grandmother's e-mail is very dramatic. I know this but can't change my feelings and there is even a voice in the back of my head as I type this "stop bit**in' and get over it!"

I am going to do as everyone suggested. This isn't a race maybe in another 4 months I'll be wearing a 12, Maybe I should try a 12 on today and see how the do or don't fit and use that as motivation? Cause as I sit here and think...I haven't even tried a 12 on yet.....How do I know?

I will reevaluate my eating habits which have been CRAP. I will reevaluate my meals, which have been CRAP. I will reevaluate and set goals--which I haven't done in 3 months. I will use my Aunt's success to push me harder--maybe instead of 15 push-ups I will think about that size 12 and do 25.

I will stop whining, start smiling and keep moving. I can and I will.

And Crystal, with THIS attitude - you WILL succeed!!!

Absolutely. :drinker:

52 pounds!!??!! I'm jealous!! Seriously...you have lost the equivalent of a first-grade child. Cause for celebration!!

I have watched my mom and dad go through this when they diet together. She has to scratch and sweat and struggle for every single pound lost....all he has to do is cut out pop and he drops 20 pounds. Every body is different...but it can be sooo frustrating, especially if you've been stalled for a while. It's not whining...and even if it is, that's why we're here for each other!

One other thing, there's only a slight difference between your aunt's size 12 and your size 13...it is possible you are the same size, just wearing different brands or styles of clothing? If she's buying hers at the thrift store, could be her size 12 has been "pre-stretched" a bit by the previous owner?

I think you are doing great...you are motivation for those of us just starting out!

Keep up the good work and dont get down about it You'll get to your goal.

I have to agree on the diary stuff too, there is a lot of processed food in there, a lot of going over calories and eating back all exercise calories (which unless you have a HRM do not take on face value from MFP). Just eat better, make sure you're definitely burning what you think you are through exercise and you'll get to your goal. Am I annoyed that there are kids who get a PhD at 15? No, it has no effect on how long it will take me to get mine, so dont be comparing yourself to others, unless there is something you feel you can take from their example.

I totally understand, but that does not make it right. I have been jealous for months now of a woman I do not know. I went to FB and saw that she married my ex husband. I was livid. That is the motivation for me joining this site.

I will not say that either of us are jealous, we are merely disappointed. You for your reasons and me for mine.
I have never told anyone that I cried when I looked at those pictures. She is by no means small but she is smaller than I am. I wear an 18/20 and I want to scream. She looks like maybe a 14/16.

WE-you, me and whoever else is out there, have to concentrate on one thing and that is doing what is best for us. You have lost and has been able to keep it off. That is a great accomplishment. Do not discredit what you have done. 54 pounds is amazing. I have only lost 3. Hey, but I am proud of those 3 lost.

You are a beautiful person. See in you what your MFP family see.

Keep it up (the journey)! Suck it up (the comparison). Give it up (high five to yourself) --You deserve it.

Best wishes.
:smokin:

As a mom, I know that if I casually mention my weight loss to my daughter she will be far more motivated to stick to her diet than anything else I can say. Maybe Grandma gave you a much needed nudge in a way that you were ready to be nudged? Thank you Grandma and Auntie!

Before I say anything, I want you to know that a 52-pound loss is great and nothing to thumb your nose at so it's obvious you're doing something right. Right???? Secondly, I took a look at your food diary. In my very humble opinion, I think you're eating way to many processed foods that are high in carbs and sugars. If you want to see the results your aunt is seeing, you may need to consider tweeking your diet a bit and try to eat cleaner. Try upping your fruits and veggies and cutting out processed/fast foods. I'm not saying cut them out completely, but maybe once a week on a Saturday or Sunday could be your "cheat" day. Every other day of the week, try to eat as cleanly as possibly. I really think that would help you see a huge difference. Try it for a month and just see what happens. Another thing. Talk to your aunt and find out what she's doing. It may be that she is doing exactly what I've suggested. Even if she isn't, I suggest you give it a try.

{{{hugs}}} to you! I feel your exasperation and I think many of us get weepy at times, for sure us women and for sure during a certain time of the month for me, lol. You are doing great!!! As someone else said, she had a lot more to lose, so will lose it quicker here at the beginning, but she will eventually hit that plateau we each hit. I have been at mine for a while now but have not been working out as I should, so know that is why.

Be happy for your aunt she has a huge personal victory. Now take her victory and use it to fuel your own! Remember everyone's body is different and so it reacts to foods and exercise differently. I get it you would be frustrated though...I know I would be too! Take a step back and look at what you could do differntly if anything at all. Are you eating a lot of processed foods or doign the exact same workout every day? Maybe it's an opportunity to change things up a bit. Keep up the good work and don't give up. You can do this!

Sending hugs! It sounds like you were having "one of those days" and WE ALL HAVE THEM. So let yousrself cry if thats what you need to do - sometimes its helpful and cathartic. You already know that 52 pounds is major. Congratulations.

Also, I read your profile - it says that you work two jobs. How hard is it to find the time to dedicate all of the excersise time and planning time needed to lose 52 pounds? Again - yay you! Bet your Aunt doesn't work two jobs *wink. I think you're awesome!