Breaking Point

I've always loved the outdoors and have been active. I cut back on my hiking a year and half ago to spend more time with my GF. I was overweight to begin with. After I stopped hiking, I blew up like the frickin' Good Year blimp.

My GF is an RN at one of those "Dial a Nurse" operations. She councils people on their chronic health conditions. She had been bugging me for months about my weight gain. But, I just couldn't find the motivation to do anything about it until a couple months ago when I saw my doctor.

My doc told me, according to my BMI, I was considered obese and my good cholesterol was low due to lack of exercise. If that wasn't enough, she said, if my BP got any worse she would put me on meds to control it. I've been on a CPAP for a couple years now for obstructive sleep apnea.

I simply couldn't reconcile any this with my self-image. I've always seen myself as an active outdoor person who embraces life and thrives on adventure. But according to medical numbers, I was just another fat *kitten* sitting in front of a TV eating his way to an early grave. I missed the mountains and my hiking friends

So, here I am.

As some others have said...not my first breaking point but the most recent one that kicked me back into gear. Last month my 22 year old niece was diagnosed with acute liver failure (didn't drink, do drugs, eat bad, no pre-existing conditions...no idea how it happened.) She died a week later. She has three children with no mom or dad. I realized that I needed to be there for them. I couldn't continue on this self-destructive path that would eventually take me away from my family as well.

Losing her also made me remember that I'm an organ donor but at the rate I'm going, when I die, my organs won't be good for anyone. I don't want to leave this world not having helped some other people. I know it won't matter to me after I die but it matters to me now and it's been good motivation.

Thanks Amber.

To be fair, my GF has some physical limitations (that I won't go into) that prevent her from hiking with me. We do other outdoorsy things together such as kayaking and camping. She has been very supportive of my efforts to regain my fitness.

At the time I stopped hiking, I had just completed my goal of hiking all the 4,000 foot peaks in New Hampshire's White Mountains. My intention was to take a short break, maybe one or two months. That turned into an 18 month hiatus.

It's tough rationing my time. We only get to see each other on weekends. Our family and professional obligations keep us apart during the week. I just wish this stinking economy would improve . That would make it much easier for one or both of us to relocate .