I am sooo ashamed!
kimnaaron4ever
Posts: 61
I don't know what is wrong with me right now! I went on a complete binge last night & it is carrying over into today (although not as drastic as last night)! I mean last night I ate any and everything I could find. I wasn't even hungry and the foods that I ate weren't even among my favorites (okay maybe the drumstick ice cream was)! It's like I couldn't stop myself! Well, I did really well this morning, my usual low-cal breakfast, with a low-cal snack a couple hours later, then a nice salad for lunch, but then I let my daughters make a special dessert for one of their friends that had come over today, and it was ON! I walked by it about five times, but then I couldn't take it any more. Now I think what I am most ashamed about is that I am actually hiding to eat this way! Last night, I waited until my kids and husband were all fast asleep and then started chowing down. Today, I waited until everyone was too busy doing other things to notice me! Why am I doing this to myself? I've worked so hard and come so far to do this! Can anyone help me understand what is going on?! I mean, I don't deprive myself of anything, I believe in anything in moderation, so, it can't be that I feel like I'm missing out on anything! I just don't know! Well, I went ahead and logged what I ate today, so, I can at least hopefully get back on track. since, thankfully I didn't go so crazy that I ate all my alloted calories for the day!
SO, here's hoping I can get back to it!
SO, here's hoping I can get back to it!
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Replies
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Offering you a virtual hug. I have struggled with binge eating for over 10 years and secret eating for years before that. Only now am I getting on top of it. The thing that helped for me this time is to focus on the good instead of the bad. So instead of focusing on that binge I just had, I now focus on the fact that I ate less at the binge or hadn't binged for longer than normal or made some healthier choice in my other foods. It really is working for me.
What I'm trying to say is that you're only human and sometimes you will give in to old habits, the trick is to not let it form a new habit and to try and replace it with better (healthier) habits. Don't give in!
Something good must have happened this week? You logged your food, that's an achievement in itself!
If you'd like some support feel free to send me a friend request. Best of luck x0 -
Has beinge eating been a problem for you in the past or is this new for you? I know for me I don't always know why I binge right away but can usually figure it out. Maybe something that bothered me at work, or stress at home, maybe I didn't eat enough calories for the day or had gone for so long without it that I just couldn't stop myself. Plus, hormones can play a role in binge eating according to my dr. And I am def more prone to binge when I pms.....just don't beat yourself up too bad because the guilt will set in and that can often cause binges too! Just track what you ate and finish the day strong and tomorrow is another day to do amazing! You just have to forgive yourself to do it! Good luck!0
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As Tony Soprano would say: fuggitaboutit!!!! Just get back to the routine you started and look back at it like a bad distant memory. We all deserve a break once in a while!0
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I have learned to 'study' my binges......there is ALWAYS a reason why we do it!! I've noticed that I binge after I talk to my mom (everytime!!!!) ......when I don't 'get that call or text from that special someone' like I want!! ......when i bowl bad .......when I screw up on my diet (thx to that All or Nothing attitude! NOT!!!) .......when I'm stressed from work ........when I'm bored ........when I wanna bake or cook something new .....and the list goes on and on......
I'm wondering if possibly, deep down, you may be feeling irritated that your family can eat all they want of whatever they want and you are limited and you may be thinking, "I'll show you!! -- There is no way I'm gonna be limited on my food!! I'm a grown woman!!" --I just know I've felt like that MANY times before!!!
Hang in there....your not alone!! I 'went crazy' yesterday too....but I restarted again today.....we have to try to learn from our binges and soon they will be farther and farther apart!!
) 0 -
I have learned to 'study' my binges......there is ALWAYS a reason why we do it!! I've noticed that I binge after I talk to my mom (everytime!!!!) ......when I don't 'get that call or text from that special someone' like I want!! ......when i bowl bad .......when I screw up on my diet (thx to that All or Nothing attitude! NOT!!!) .......when I'm stressed from work ........when I'm bored ........when I wanna bake or cook something new .....and the list goes on and on......
I'm wondering if possibly, deep down, you may be feeling irritated that your family can eat all they want of whatever they want and you are limited and you may be thinking, "I'll show you!! -- There is no way I'm gonna be limited on my food!! I'm a grown woman!!" --I just know I've felt like that MANY times before!!!
Hang in there....your not alone!! I 'went crazy' yesterday too....but I restarted again today.....we have to try to learn from our binges and soon they will be farther and farther apart!!)
This is excellent advice! I find when I am stressed, I head for the kitchen. Or when I'm pissed at my husband, I head for the kitchen. I'm learning, slowly, that I am only hurting myself by doing this. So now, I clean - keeps me busy and burns calories!0 -
Gather sh!tty foods >> place in trash >> take out trash0
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you can do it, another day is another battle.
how much calories did you over by from your bmr?
i had a binge last night too, i went over by 1,400 calories the moment I got home from work.
I was feeling a bit peckish so I thought I would grab something to eat before gym, next thing you know it, I was downing 1,400 worth of food within a 30minute period.
Luckily Imanaged to get myself to the gym afterwards and minimise the effects of that binge and since I was at a deficit, I was really only above my bmr by a 400-500 calories, so it was kinda like I was eating a bit over maintenance. Maybe you are in the same boat as me?:ohwell:0 -
I totally empathize with your struggle, and find comfort in knowing that lots and lots of people have been there. Like others have said, there is always a reason that we do this - but sometimes those reasons are subconscious or so engrained that it's only through a huge amount of thinking and self-work that we can come to understand them.
I highly recommend the book "The Life You Want: Transforming Your Relationship with Food, Exercise and Yourself" by Bob Greene. It's got some tough truths but really pulls off the veil and confusion around binge & emotional eating, and the psychological reasons why it's so common to continue to struggle with weight or fail to keep it off. It made me cry - a LOT - but helped me realize some things about myself. It's one of the books that will sit on my shelf forever.0 -
what upset you that you HAD to eat. It's usually something other than food that makes eat to feel good.
Think about waht happened, did seomone say something that upset you?0 -
I could have written this original post. I too wait or my family to sleep so I can binge like Hell. It was hard enough not stopping at McDonalds after pumping my gas! No one would have had to ever know! Its okay, you can start fresh after the binge and you are never alone.0
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I hope others are able to offer more advice, I'm just really here for this:
*hug*
Try to blog about it and see if it helps you identify the how's and the why's and the when's... at least get it all out, maybe after reading back over it, it will all make more sense.
Take care.0 -
Binge eating has never been a problem, but all of sudden I started doing the same thing you do, I hide what Im eating. I think I've been trying to get back on track for so long and started and failed that I need to hide the bad food from my family because its just another "attempt" at me losing weight.
I also noticed that when I step on the scale and the number is the same or higher (maybe not even real weight, maybe water) I FREAK out and have a horrible day. Because it reminds me that my work is usless or how thin i used to be...
So i stopped using the scale. I know it can be a great thing for the number to go down, but it hits me way to hard when it doesnt. So i have learned....and thats all you can do is learn WHY your doing it. I have also tried this thing if i want it or NEED it, ill eat half of it. then i gave in a little but I didnt kill my day. Makes me feel like I'm not limiting myself so much and I have the control.
I also try to remember "what you eat in private, you wear in public"0 -
Gather sh!tty foods >> place in trash >> take out trash
^^^ THIS ^^^
now if I could get my wife to stop replenishing the supply....0 -
forget it! start anew tomorrow0
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bump0
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On top of looking for stressors that set off the eating also take a close look at what you eat prior to binging. I have found that when I'm not getting enough of something (a certain vitamin, protein, etc.) I am far more likely to binge. Stress is definitely my lighter but often nutritional lacking is the fuel.0
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I don't know what is wrong with me right now! I went on a complete binge last night & it is carrying over into today (although not as drastic as last night)! I mean last night I ate any and everything I could find. I wasn't even hungry and the foods that I ate weren't even among my favorites (okay maybe the drumstick ice cream was)! It's like I couldn't stop myself! Well, I did really well this morning, my usual low-cal breakfast, with a low-cal snack a couple hours later, then a nice salad for lunch, but then I let my daughters make a special dessert for one of their friends that had come over today, and it was ON! I walked by it about five times, but then I couldn't take it any more. Now I think what I am most ashamed about is that I am actually hiding to eat this way! Last night, I waited until my kids and husband were all fast asleep and then started chowing down. Today, I waited until everyone was too busy doing other things to notice me! Why am I doing this to myself? I've worked so hard and come so far to do this! Can anyone help me understand what is going on?! I mean, I don't deprive myself of anything, I believe in anything in moderation, so, it can't be that I feel like I'm missing out on anything! I just don't know! Well, I went ahead and logged what I ate today, so, I can at least hopefully get back on track. since, thankfully I didn't go so crazy that I ate all my alloted calories for the day!
SO, here's hoping I can get back to it!
Confession is good for the soul. Bingeing (sp?) is complicated and you may never know exactly what triggered it. We could analyze it til we're blue in the face. The fact is it happened. You weren't happy with yourself. At some level, it was about control but that's really moot. All of us who use this App might be just a little OCD anyway. Don't beat yourself up. Every day is a new beginning. Also, consider that your body may be craving a specific mineral such as magnesium. Very common in women.0 -
I don't know what is wrong with me right now! I went on a complete binge last night & it is carrying over into today (although not as drastic as last night)! I mean last night I ate any and everything I could find. I wasn't even hungry and the foods that I ate weren't even among my favorites (okay maybe the drumstick ice cream was)! It's like I couldn't stop myself! Well, I did really well this morning, my usual low-cal breakfast, with a low-cal snack a couple hours later, then a nice salad for lunch, but then I let my daughters make a special dessert for one of their friends that had come over today, and it was ON! I walked by it about five times, but then I couldn't take it any more. Now I think what I am most ashamed about is that I am actually hiding to eat this way! Last night, I waited until my kids and husband were all fast asleep and then started chowing down. Today, I waited until everyone was too busy doing other things to notice me! Why am I doing this to myself? I've worked so hard and come so far to do this! Can anyone help me understand what is going on?! I mean, I don't deprive myself of anything, I believe in anything in moderation, so, it can't be that I feel like I'm missing out on anything! I just don't know! Well, I went ahead and logged what I ate today, so, I can at least hopefully get back on track. since, thankfully I didn't go so crazy that I ate all my alloted calories for the day!
SO, here's hoping I can get back to it!
You're still young maybe your just still growing? :smokin:0 -
Gather sh!tty foods >> place in trash >> take out trash
This!0 -
Don't worry about it. One day of bing eating will not set you back. I went through this last weekend. I just ate anything and everything. In 2 days, I polished off half a large sausage and meatball pizza (in one sitting), an entire package of oreos, 4 hotdogs loaded, and a 12 pack of chocolate chip cookies. I thought I was done for. I got back on track, and lost all the weight I had "gained" by the following week.
We are loosing weight so we can ENJOY LIFE. Never forget that. It's ok if you have the "bad stuff" every once in a while. As long as we don't make a habit of it.0 -
i wouldn't worry too much honestly just start again tomorrow and forget about it. You only have a problem if you dont let it go and just say oh well i screwed up i may as well give up.
If it helps when i was at the gym my trainer gave me a diet where you were strict all week and then had a day off and ate what you wanted as long as you didnt go too insane. This actually worked for me and a lot of others because it confuses your body and doesnt let it get into that low calorie starvation mode rut. Yes you might gain a pound or so following your day off but you would ultimately lose more on the strict days. Seriously dont worry, and dont give up!!0 -
Thanks so much everyone! It is so nice to belong to a site like this where not only can we get great advice and tools on how to lose weight, but we have people there for emotional support and motivation as well! It really means so much to me!0
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I totally empathize with your struggle, and find comfort in knowing that lots and lots of people have been there. Like others have said, there is always a reason that we do this - but sometimes those reasons are subconscious or so engrained that it's only through a huge amount of thinking and self-work that we can come to understand them.
I highly recommend the book "The Life You Want: Transforming Your Relationship with Food, Exercise and Yourself" by Bob Greene. It's got some tough truths but really pulls off the veil and confusion around binge & emotional eating, and the psychological reasons why it's so common to continue to struggle with weight or fail to keep it off. It made me cry - a LOT - but helped me realize some things about myself. It's one of the books that will sit on my shelf forever.
I'm going to try and find this book and soon! Thank you so much for the recommendation!0 -
[/quote]
Confession is good for the soul. Bingeing (sp?) is complicated and you may never know exactly what triggered it. We could analyze it til we're blue in the face. The fact is it happened. You weren't happy with yourself. At some level, it was about control but that's really moot. All of us who use this App might be just a little OCD anyway. Don't beat yourself up. Every day is a new beginning. Also, consider that your body may be craving a specific mineral such as magnesium. Very common in women.
[/quote]
You know I was told a few weeks ago when I posted about another problem (physically) that I was having someone mentioned I may need more magnesium in my diet! So, now I've been told twice that a lack of magnesium may be a problem. Think I may go pick up some vitamins tomorrow!
Thanks!0 -
Are you eating enough calories? Are you getting enough grams of protein? make sure you are eating clean foods to fill you up.
I have a sweet toooth, so once in awhile I will make something sweet-experimenting with healthier options (coconut oil, agave syrup, etc) and allow myself one or two a day. Tomorrow is my husband's bday and I know I will have a slice of (not healthy) icecream cake. I'll log my food the day before to ensure it's included. And of course we'll be going out to dinner-so I'll look up the nutritional values and allow myself one piece of bread!0 -
I know exactly how you feel, waiting for everyone to go to bed and eating in secret. I believe it is an addiction to self sabotage, I feel angry or disappointed for this or that reason, and take it out on my body.
Creating regular habits to put in place of bad ones are a good start. Also, focus on progress! One foot in front of the other until you reach your goals. Don't be ashamed, we're here to support each other through this, you can do it!) 0 -
I'm so glad I read this because I thought I was the only one that did this - I have moved to England which has made it worse. I can go well on a diet for about a week before I just have one taste of peanut butter... or one slice of cheese... then I can easily wolf down anything and everything in the kitchen. It's disgusting but it's like I can't control myself. I'm glad I'm not alone, I thought I was a total freak.
I have noticed that whenever I feel stressed, homesick, down, unattractive, BORED, ... that's the times that it happens. The human mind is a curious thing.0 -
I understand. This is a problem for me too. Trying so hard to get a handle on it and I've done a little bit better recently. But I definitely still have my moments.0
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must be something with the phase of the moon. I have been doing the same thing eating everything in sight the past few days. My day starts great, but by the afternoon and evening it is a free for all.
Keep logging and try to resist. It is hard. i feel you!0 -
It sound slike you are getting some good advice, but i wanted to mention that I personally ate quite a bit extra today, and figure I'll get over it: could be hormones, attitudes, waning moon, or the weather or whatever, but I think it's good to see if there are reasons, and whether there are or not, be good to yourself and just move on from it--0
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