Need a laugh? I do..

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Jbjessi
Jbjessi Posts: 288
in Chit-Chat
''Dyslexic man walks into a bra''
half a giggle.. can you do better?
«13

Replies

  • mommared53
    mommared53 Posts: 9,543 Member
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    What do you call a three legged donkey?
    >
    >
    A wonkey donkey.

    What do you call a three legged donkey with a bad eye?
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    >
    A winky wonkey donkey.

    What do you call a three legged donkey with a bad eye that smells?
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    >
    A stinky winky wonkey donkey.

    What do you call a three legged donkey with a bad eye that smells and plays the piano?
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    >
    A plinky plonky stinky winky wonkey donkey.

    What do you call a three legged donkey with a bad eye that smells and plays the piano in a country music bar?
    >
    >
    A honky tonky plinky plonky stinky winky wonkey donkey.
  • Tat2dDom624
    Tat2dDom624 Posts: 1,226 Member
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    A horse walk into a bar, sits down, asks the bartender for a beer. Bartender asks, "hey buddy, why the long face?"
  • Jbjessi
    Jbjessi Posts: 288
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    A young blonde woman is distraught because she fears her husband is having an affair, so she goes to a gun shop and buys a handgun. The next day she comes home to find her husband in bed with a beautiful redhead. She grabs the gun and holds it to her own head. The husband jumps out of bed, begging and pleading with her not to shoot herself. Hysterically the blonde responds to the husband, ''Shut up...you're next!''
  • Erisad
    Erisad Posts: 1,580
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    An Irishman walks out of a bar... :P
  • Jodi827
    Jodi827 Posts: 40
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    An Irishman walks out of a bar... :P


    Now, that's funny.
  • Jbjessi
    Jbjessi Posts: 288
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    Do not argue with an idiot. He will drag you down to his level and beat you with experience.
  • bigsargswife
    bigsargswife Posts: 74
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    Do not argue with an idiot. He will drag you down to his level and beat you with experience.

    This is my life today.
    And you are now my hero. :)
  • Doxts
    Doxts Posts: 4
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    Where does a pirate keep his buccaneers?



    Under his buckin' hat!
  • Tat2dDom624
    Tat2dDom624 Posts: 1,226 Member
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    I told my son that someday he'll have kids of his own. He said to me, "so will you".
  • TriThreat
    TriThreat Posts: 313
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    (I'm blonde, so I will tell blonde jokes haha)

    Blonde comes home. Finds her house has been robbed. She calls the police department. Closest unit to her is the K9 unit.
    So the officer walks up to the house with his dog and knocks on the door. The blonde answers and door and bursts into tears.

    Officer: What's wrong ma'am?
    Blonde: I just got robbed and they send me a blind cop!
  • chivalryder
    chivalryder Posts: 4,391 Member
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    Last night I lay in bed looking up at the stars in the sky and I thought to myself, where the heck is the ceiling.
  • tajmel
    tajmel Posts: 401 Member
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    A man walks into a bar.
    He says, "ouch".
  • 180farm
    180farm Posts: 230
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    I told my son that someday he'll have kids of his own. He said to me, "so will you".

    Took me a minute. Hahahaha

    Never hit a man with glasses. Hit him with a baseball bat.
  • waski1214
    waski1214 Posts: 12 Member
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    How do catch a special animal? Unique up on him!

    What do you do if he gets away? Unique up on him again!
  • blair_bear
    blair_bear Posts: 165
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    A dog walked into a bar and asked for a beer. With that a man at the bar said I don't want to drink at the same bar as this dog. The dog and the man got into a fight and the man shot the dog in the foot. With that the dog yelped out of the bar and down the street.

    A week later the same dog walked into the same bar, this time he was wearing a black hat, a black vest, black chaps, black boots, a black gun belt with a pair of black colt .45's one on either side, and a black bandage around his sore foot. He goes up to the bar and says to the bar tender "I'm lookin' for the man that shot my paw"
  • basillowe66
    basillowe66 Posts: 432 Member
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    A guy eating by himself in a nice restaurant. He notices a beautifull lady by herself next to him. He doesn't have the nerve to talk to her but soon she sneezes and her glass eye pops out, but he catches it and gives it back to her. She thanked him and joined him and bought his dinner. Then she bought him a couple of drinks. Soon she said lets go to my place and have a nightcap. As they are walking out he asks, are you always this nice to guys you just met? She said not really, but you just caught my eye!!!!!

    Basil
  • Jbjessi
    Jbjessi Posts: 288
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    my mother saw the irony in calling my brother a son of a *****
  • Tat2dDom624
    Tat2dDom624 Posts: 1,226 Member
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    My wife's the worst cook in the world. In my house we pray AFTER we eat.
  • foxyforce
    foxyforce Posts: 3,078 Member
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    what do you call a nun in a wheelchair?
    ...















    virgin mobile
  • foxyforce
    foxyforce Posts: 3,078 Member
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    my mother saw the irony in calling my brother a son of a *****

    lol

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