My boyfriend makes fun of me when I diet.

becomingbeautifultoday
becomingbeautifultoday Posts: 131 Member
edited December 25 in Food and Nutrition
I've been on and off diets, and everytime I start one, my boyfriend tells me that I'm not going to stick to it and its a waste of money buying healthy food. I find myself just giving up, sometimes because I just can't stick to it, and sometimes because of the hard time he's giving me. How do I eat healthy without beoing obvious that I'm trying to diet?
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Replies

  • leojsivad
    leojsivad Posts: 124 Member
    I'm going to make some observations here if that is ok.

    1. Your boyfriend probably doesn't diet and/or exercise.
    2. He is jealous of your attempts, and tries to sabotage you because it would make him look bad if he doesn't eat healthy as well.
    3. Eating crap is easier, and he likes that easiness.
    4. Find someone who supports you in your life's goals.

    So you're asking advice on how to sneak your lifestyle change in, not going to happen. Unless you can convince him to change, which is probably doubtful because of his apparent lack of respect for you, you will continue to be mocked.
  • JeffInBuckeyeNation
    JeffInBuckeyeNation Posts: 91 Member
    My initial thought.....he's not a good boyfriend. I don't know you, or him, but a good BF would never do that.

    By contrast....the woman I am seeing said something to me when I got started. She told me that she would never ask me to lose weight for her, and she hoped that she was not a factor in my decision because she cared for me no matter what size body I had. She is about 5 percent of the reason I'm trying to lose weight, but DAMN that felt good to hear.
  • Sublog
    Sublog Posts: 1,296 Member
    I've been on and off diets, and everytime I start one, my boyfriend tells me that I'm not going to stick to it and its a waste of money buying healthy food. I find myself just giving up, sometimes because I just can't stick to it, and sometimes because of the hard time he's giving me. How do I eat healthy without beoing obvious that I'm trying to diet?

    Learn to eat ice cream and steak and lose weight and see if he's laughing then.
  • cpsunseri
    cpsunseri Posts: 9
    Just curious, how are you dieting?
  • hhayes06
    hhayes06 Posts: 189 Member
    I'm going to make some observations here if that is ok.

    1. Your boyfriend probably doesn't diet and/or exercise.
    2. He is jealous of your attempts, and tries to sabotage you because it would make him look bad if he doesn't eat healthy as well.
    3. Eating crap is easier, and he likes that easiness.
    4. Find someone who supports you in your life's goals.

    So you're asking advice on how to sneak your lifestyle change in, not going to happen. Unless you can convince him to change, which is probably doubtful because of his apparent lack of respect for you, you will continue to be mocked.

    I second this. Instead of trying to sneak in a diet, kick out your boyfriend. If he mocks you for trying to be healthier then what else does he mock you for? Kick him to the curb, kick start your diet and then when you reach your goal weight and look smoking hot then find him and show him what he missed out on.
  • Bobby_Clerici
    Bobby_Clerici Posts: 1,828 Member
    I've been on and off diets, and everytime I start one, my boyfriend tells me that I'm not going to stick to it and its a waste of money buying healthy food. I find myself just giving up, sometimes because I just can't stick to it, and sometimes because of the hard time he's giving me. How do I eat healthy without beoing obvious that I'm trying to diet?
    How about just suck it up, and forget about his ridicule?
    He's used to gloating over your failure, so get in shape, replace him with a better man, then gloat back.
    He who laughs last laughs the best!:drinker:
  • chrisdavey
    chrisdavey Posts: 9,834 Member
    I've been on and off diets, and everytime I start one, my boyfriend tells me that I'm not going to stick to it and its a waste of money buying healthy food. I find myself just giving up, sometimes because I just can't stick to it, and sometimes because of the hard time he's giving me. How do I eat healthy without beoing obvious that I'm trying to diet?

    Learn to eat ice cream and steak and lose weight and see if he's laughing then.

    agree with this.

    Lifestyle change not a diet.
  • bubmaster
    bubmaster Posts: 90
    just think about what he will say when you prove him wrong :smile:
  • foraubs
    foraubs Posts: 263 Member
    Tell him (and yourself) that it's not a diet: it's a lifestyle. You have to believe it to live it and sustain it.
    If it's a big point of contention, don't push it on him but lead by example. Maybe he'll decide to join you.

    Best of luck.
  • jynxxxed
    jynxxxed Posts: 1,010 Member
    People who give others a hard time about dieting do it to validate themselves for eating garbage. It makes them feel 'right' by putting you down, so they don't have to change as well.

    I'm sure if you're in a serious relationship and you inform him that you are seriously trying to better your HEALTH, not just lose weight, he'll understand. Make it very clear that you're not 'dieting' but you're changing your lifestyle completely.
  • Crochetluvr
    Crochetluvr Posts: 3,336 Member
    First of all, its not a diet. Its a way of life. If you treat it that way, your way of eating wont stand out.

    As for your so called boy "friend", with friends like that..well, you know the rest of the saying.
  • katejkelley
    katejkelley Posts: 839 Member
    My initial thought.....he's not a good boyfriend.

    I don't know you, or him, but a good BF would never do that.

    This is what I was thinking, too. I've known women who gained weight because they were in a bad relationship - then they stayed in that relationship because they thought no one else would want them. Terrible cycle! I don't know your boyfriend, but you don't need to put up with his crap. You tell him either he can support you or keep his mouth shut. If he can't do either, maybe it's time to go on your own for awhile.
  • mothsdammit
    mothsdammit Posts: 7
    I think you need to just sit down with him and have a serious discussion about it. Yeah, he's not acting like a good boyfriend right now, but it's very possible that his reaction is due to faults of his own, insecurities and whatnot.

    You just need to have a serious conversation with him. Ask why he keeps trying to sabotage you, and tell him how it affects you. Besides, it's your life - why does he care if you even make the attempt at being healthier? Tell him that if he feels the need to get involved, you'd rather he be supportive.

    My recommendation is have a talk before you walk. Don't try to hide your desire to be healthier. There's nothing wrong with it.
  • saragato
    saragato Posts: 1,154
    If your usual intake is junk, there's no real way to start eating healthier without making it obvious, especially if it's foods only you're eating.

    Yes you have a record of not following through, but I would sit down with your guy and tell him straight out that if he can't be supportive, he doesn't need to say a damned thing at all. Because it sounds like his negative attitude is what helps you give up so easily. Yeah you might've been thinking it on your own, but without a support system at home and someone else saying you'll fail you're more likely to.

    Also I think leojsivad is being a bit extreme with their comment. They're implying your boyfriend's trying to make you stay the way you are and to dump him for someone else. There's no calling for that and it's stupid to even consider.
  • AmoreCouture
    AmoreCouture Posts: 255 Member
    Prove him wrong. Don't let him being negative be an excuse to give up. :)
  • pinkprincess1952
    pinkprincess1952 Posts: 194 Member
    So does mine... He says that die is the first letters of diet for a reason.. lol
  • wjniii
    wjniii Posts: 110 Member
    Seriously, if he really cared about you he would support you in your efforts to lose weight and be healthy. Keep the healthy life-style; lose this boyfriend. There are plenty others who will support you.
  • MsNewBooty83
    MsNewBooty83 Posts: 985 Member
    See who's laughing when ur smoking hot and leave his *kitten*! It's fear, that's where his cruelty comes from. Basically he's got a case of the D-Bags. Lol
  • TinaS88
    TinaS88 Posts: 817 Member
    Sorry, but he sounds like a douche. Why would you want to be with someone who doesn't support you in your efforts and puts you down about it? You deserve better. :)
  • barbiecat
    barbiecat Posts: 17,268 Member
    My initial thought.....he's not a good boyfriend.

    I don't know you, or him, but a good BF would never do that.

    This is what I was thinking, too. I've known women who gained weight because they were in a bad relationship - then they stayed in that relationship because they thought no one else would want them. Terrible cycle! I don't know your boyfriend, but you don't need to put up with his crap. You tell him either he can support you or keep his mouth shut. If he can't do either, maybe it's time to go on your own for awhile.
    great anwers
  • meshashesha2012
    meshashesha2012 Posts: 8,329 Member
    why are you dieting? obviously they dont work if you cant keep up with them and fall off the wagon..

    look at it more as a lifestyle change than a diet then it wont look like a diet.
  • bcampbell54
    bcampbell54 Posts: 932 Member
    You can't hide it. You don't want to. You shouldn't have to. His vision of you as an individual, and you as a couple is not the same as yours.
    Your health and well-being are at stake.
    Think about why you should be a couple, and ask him to do the same.
  • dietanderson
    dietanderson Posts: 18
    Tell him to go suck an egg!
  • MSimm62385
    MSimm62385 Posts: 227
    My initial thought.....he's not a good boyfriend.

    I don't know you, or him, but a good BF would never do that.

    I'm inclined to agree with this...you need to set him straight. He's supposed to be a positive influence in your life.

    My last gf was one of those lucky "eat like a pig and stay 110lbs" types, and would always mock me when I tried to watch my diet. It was extremely aggravating...
  • amiguito123
    amiguito123 Posts: 25
    You need a new boyfriend...
  • jodyw83
    jodyw83 Posts: 38
    Sounds like it's time to dump the boyfriend, get hot and rub your better boyfriend in his face in a few months!
  • wolveslovemee
    wolveslovemee Posts: 156 Member
    Well, I dont know your boyfriend, so Im not going to jump the gun and say he sucks, break up with him, etc. He might be really great to you otherwise. How are we supposed to know?

    From my experience, when people tell you that you cant do something, its because they have either :

    One) Too often seen you fail
    Two) Dont believe in you for whatever reason
    Three) You havent proved to yourself yet that you can achieve it, otherwise NO ONE will doubt you

    Obviously, these are all linked together.
    For one, everyone is right when they say being healthy is a way of life, not a short term fix. If you are adament about being in shape, you need to do it for you, and seriously if your boyfriend continues to resent you for it, then you have a problem.

    Also,...sounds like you should probably talk to him about it. He should support you. My boyfriend is really in shape but he paces me on his bicycle when I try and run. He's offered to let me punch him with boxing gloves to get cardio in. He always asks me if he can go on walks with me. <---That is a good partner. Involve your boyfriend in your journey. Take classes together you BOTH like.
  • Debutante55
    Debutante55 Posts: 72 Member
    I don't care how many times you've "failed" at dieting in the past, you absolutely do NOT need someone in your life who tries to sabotage your goals before you even get started. As many others have pointed out, this speaks to a much greater problem than just weight loss. I don't know about you, but for me, living with that sort of negativity and "lack of belief" in me would surely whittle away my self esteem over the long term. You are a lovely, motivated 22-year-old with your whole life ahead of you. Making wise choices now like adopting a healthier lifestyle will definitely pay off in the future... and don't let anyone convince you otherwise!
    It's your choice whether you decide to kick this "boyfriend" to the curb or prove him wrong by becoming healthy and fit on your own terms. Frankly, I question whether he's truly your "friend" at all. But in the meantime, please know that there are many of us on MFP who support you in reaching your goals... 100% and unconditionally!
  • jjl0412
    jjl0412 Posts: 278 Member
    Any one who insults your feelings, goals, or wishes, is no friend of any kind. Lose the dead weight. Live for you and your future. Good Luck.
  • mamagooskie
    mamagooskie Posts: 2,964 Member
    my first thought was to DUMP HIM!! then go be awesome lose all your weight and laugh right back at him in his face!!!
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