My Sister Makes Fun of me when I try to be healthy..

SweetMegz04
SweetMegz04 Posts: 459 Member
in Motivation and Support
She often will say "If you get skinnier than me, I will be so pissed" at first I thought- oh haha, she's kidding.

But then she would start making fun of the things I was doing..
Eating Salad or a low Calorie item when we go out to eat.
Not eating Dessert or having a yogurt instead..
Eating Fruit or Veggies alone instead of chips & dip or added things.
Etc.

But it goes further too..
If she sees, hears or finds out about a guy flirting with me she'll be like "oh they like everyone" or " I bet their gay"

I myself have Self Esteem issues & she knows this. So It's so hard having someone who should be that go to person put you down.

ugh- just needed to vent.
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Replies

  • pastryari
    pastryari Posts: 8,646 Member
    She obviously has some self-estem issues herself. Along with a pinch of sibling rivalry, perhaps. You just have to ignore it and do what you need to do. This is for you, not anyone else. Good for you for making those decisions even if she is not on board. Keep it up and good luck to you.
  • QUEEN_BEE723
    QUEEN_BEE723 Posts: 1
    It true she might have some self-estem issues and she might also see that you have the will power to make the right changes in your life which she cant..... let the words not break you but help you with your goal....keep up the great work... stay focused and continue your journey
  • vitty1
    vitty1 Posts: 58 Member
    i have also had this happen to me, but it would just give me that much more motivation to "get skinnier than her"!
  • caraguard
    caraguard Posts: 41
    Yeah, she clearly has her own insecurities that she's taking out on you. Can you have a serious talk with her and let her know how her comments are making you feel?
  • bakercj13
    bakercj13 Posts: 26 Member
    I agree, you just need to ignore your sister. She has jealousy or other issues and is taking it out on you. You don't deserve that kind of treatment or abuse so ignore her the best you can!

    Your doing the right things by you, for you. You have friends here who can help get you through the rough times and not take pleasure in watching you fail.

    Stick with it and use the people here for their stories and advice and before you know it you will hit your goals!
  • analisa77
    analisa77 Posts: 10
    Oh sweet girl, don't let her issues get you down. Recognize it for what it is, and just love her but most importantly love yourself. :smile:
  • XxTtWw33TtYyxX
    XxTtWw33TtYyxX Posts: 8
    probably a small chance of jealousy :) juszt ignore her until she sees that yuhr doing it as a life stlye choice :)
  • SweetMegz04
    SweetMegz04 Posts: 459 Member
    I can tell that it's not me who is making her say these things, I know that it's her own insecurities..

    Sadly, I have had to really distance myself from her. We did have a conversation- quite a few times about how much of what she says has an effect on me. Time goes by and then Bam.. another hit! It's just hard to not have her support and constant judgement.
  • Fatal1ty2k5
    Fatal1ty2k5 Posts: 333 Member
    Your sister sounds like a *****. Just use her smart *kitten* remarks to motivate yourself and put in even more effort. Make her eat her words.
  • katiekrusher
    katiekrusher Posts: 143
    I have the same problem, but with all my friends. To them I'm the "New, boring Katie"...
  • CAW210
    CAW210 Posts: 73
    She obviously has some self-estem issues herself. Along with a pinch of sibling rivalry, perhaps. You just have to ignore it and do what you need to do. This is for you, not anyone else. Good for you for making those decisions even if she is not on board. Keep it up and good luck to you.

    I agree!! ^^^
  • shutterbug282
    shutterbug282 Posts: 588 Member
    I know how this feels it's a difficult situation and I know it's hard to ignore. :(
  • twistofcain
    twistofcain Posts: 190
    Don't be Sweet Meg and punch her in the vulva.
  • bmreed0920
    bmreed0920 Posts: 139 Member
    My sister was the same way. I haven't talked to her in four months. Toxic people will only bring you down. I have found that I am happier without her and without her judgement/drama. It only gets better from here.
  • Chairless
    Chairless Posts: 583 Member
    Don't be Sweet Meg and punch her in the vulva.

    I strongly recommend this course of action
  • angrodriguez92
    angrodriguez92 Posts: 193 Member
    I would lovingly confront her about it. Sisters are forever. She needs to correct the behavior now so that your relationship can be healthy and happy. Let her know how it makes you feel, try to get her in your shoes. Maybe come up with a word, a code word that calls the conversation back to her when she says something hurtful. Try to get her to explore WHY she does this. Yeesh, I'm sorry man. I would be really upset if my sister did that to me. How awful. If nothing helps, just keep your distance, like you said.
  • rwindover
    rwindover Posts: 20
    Always remember you have our support even though you may not have her's.

    Vent away!!!
  • JosieRawr
    JosieRawr Posts: 788 Member
    It's sad when family reacts this way when we are only trying to better ourselves.. My sister, who I dearly love, has an insecure husband who acts similar to this when she starts succeeding in her goals. I think he's threatened by her confidence increases and he usually successfully ruins her progress... I guess he knows that he doesn't deserve her!
    As hard as it may be to accept and reduce exposure to these things, it's pretty much the only thing you can do. Keep doing this for you! If she feels like you're doing it TO her instead of for you, it's really her problem, her insecurities. Keep up the good choices and hard work! It will pay off, and maybe she'll get over it, till then, try not to let her get you down.
    Good luck ~
  • sobriquet84
    sobriquet84 Posts: 607 Member
    SHE. IS. THE. ONE. THAT. IS. INSECURE.

    don't let it get to you. the end.
  • pamelak5
    pamelak5 Posts: 327 Member
    I can tell that it's not me who is making her say these things, I know that it's her own insecurities..

    Sadly, I have had to really distance myself from her. We did have a conversation- quite a few times about how much of what she says has an effect on me. Time goes by and then Bam.. another hit! It's just hard to not have her support and constant judgement.

    It sounds like you're handling this well. I was about to suggest that you start to distance yourself from her - no one of any size deserves to be berated like that.
  • LoserKat2012
    LoserKat2012 Posts: 22
    Ignore her! She has issues herself. All my life I was compared to my 2 sisters they were much thinner and more shapely than I. Now both out weigh me and I am heavy. You do what you need to do to make yourself feel and look better. The only person you have to please is you.
  • lporter229
    lporter229 Posts: 4,907 Member
    Oh sweet girl, don't let her issues get you down. Recognize it for what it is, and just love her but most importantly love yourself. :smile:

    Best advice I've seen on this forum.
  • Hellbent_Heidi
    Hellbent_Heidi Posts: 3,669 Member
    I think most women have encountered a freind or family member like this in our lives. She's definitely got self-esteem issues and doesn't want you to get more attention than her...which is HER problem (not yours).

    Good luck with your own journey though, and don't let anyone bring you down! I'm sure you're going to blow her away with your results :drinker:
  • kimad
    kimad Posts: 3,010 Member
    Sounds like she has huge self esteem issues. Don't listen to her and do your own thing... Maybe she will hop on board.

    When my girlfriend asked me to join her running/eating healthy last year I said 'hell ya becuase if you get thin and I am still fat I will be pissed' I really meant it, but I got off my *kitten* and did something about it... I joined her and we both have succeeded... I had no self esteem back then, I sure do now.
  • lcooke24
    lcooke24 Posts: 115 Member
    What they all said!!! We are here for you. Use what she says to drive you harder and further. Don't let her get you down!
  • Tall_E
    Tall_E Posts: 182 Member
    Sorry your sister isn't there for you. You don't have to be lonely though with all these potential great friends here at MFP ready to listen AND cheer you on. Congratulations on having the courage to step out of the family box and make your own healthy life!

    Best wishes!!!
  • Grimmerick
    Grimmerick Posts: 3,342 Member
    She often will say "If you get skinnier than me, I will be so pissed" at first I thought- oh haha, she's kidding.

    But then she would start making fun of the things I was doing..
    Eating Salad or a low Calorie item when we go out to eat.
    Not eating Dessert or having a yogurt instead..
    Eating Fruit or Veggies alone instead of chips & dip or added things.
    Etc.

    But it goes further too..
    If she sees, hears or finds out about a guy flirting with me she'll be like "oh they like everyone" or " I bet their gay"

    I myself have Self Esteem issues & she knows this. So It's so hard having someone who should be that go to person put you down.

    ugh- just needed to vent.

    I call this motivation! Stick it to her, every time you wanna quit or slip up and eat badly use her mouth as fuel for your fire. I used to think of my ex when I needed to stoke my fire, and man I could jog forever thinking of how pissed I was, I worked it out and was a better person for it.
  • krisleve
    krisleve Posts: 7
    its called sabotage, try to ignore her...she is the one with the issues
  • tberend
    tberend Posts: 91 Member
    That is not right. She should not, should not, SHOULD NOT do this to you. I don't think you should punch her in the vulva, but I'd definitely have a serious discussion with her and make sure she understands how she's acting. Sometimes people just don't know what they are doing or how they make other people feel. She's your sister but she should know that her actions are jeopardizing the relationship. Good luck and hugs. I hope she comes around.
  • rodneyderrick
    rodneyderrick Posts: 483 Member
    Dang. She said that a dude has to be gay to like you?

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